The Reaping
by Tucker Carroll
Summary: Book 4 - Two years after Stefan and Elena are reunited and the vampire bloodlines have been broken, the group tries to learn to have a life together as Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline had always wanted. Will their pasts come back to haunt them?
1. Chapter 1

**THE REAPING – Chapter 01**

_*This is the fourth book of the series. You could probably read it alone, but it all ties together so it may be a more satisfying read if you give the others a run through – I like to keep all four books tied together so I reference things that have happened in the previous stories quite often._

ELENA's POV

My reaction is immediate – I've been trained to respond this way from years of living in fear for my life, for the lives of my friends and family. The prickly sensation of my nerves coming alive, moving into an over-sensitive state, it runs up my spine and tickles the back of my neck – at the same time, the skin on my arms is covered in those tiny, very telling, goosebumps. My chest is tight, my lungs barely moving oxygen in an out of my body as my blood rushes through my veins with the brutality of a raging river.

The small, seaside market that we've shopped at for the past two years is suddenly not so familiar – now that I feel a predators eyes on me, now that I sense a coming attack – each isle seems ominous, the dim florescent lighting casting threatening shadows.

Until now, I've never noticed how confining this place is.

The rows of prepackaged and canned foods are much too close together for me to be able to put up any kind of resistance. The brightly colored boxes and labels, with their cursive Thai alphabet for the locals and small print English for people like me, they make it difficult to spot anything out of the ordinary – too much color, too little pattern. It's a small miracle that Allie and Grayson are with Mae as it gives me the freedom to just walk away from the half full cart of groceries.

I take a step back, inhale deeply, slowly, and focus my dancing, nervous eyes on my white knuckles - my fingers gripping the handle of the cart much too tightly. It's been so very long since I've experienced being stalked… but something deep in my gut tells me it's coming from in front of me, to my left – watching me from the safety of the dark, hollow corner - sheltered by the upright freezer cases.

Another step away, pivoting on the heel of my flip flop, I think I catch a glimpse of someone moving in the very corner I am concerned about, but I don't have time to stop and look –my best defense is and always was to just get away. Distance.

I'm too small to fight.

It's been five months, but I'm still weak in my back and torso from being pregnant with Grayson.

So, no – I am not going to stay for a battle. I am not going to linger around and inspect the movement in that shadowed corner.

Moving quickly towards the door, I catch Mr. Mookjai – the very old, very monotone, very unfriendly owner – giving me a look that is even more aggravated and cross than his usual glower. Not stopping or even slowing my pace, I return his stare with a quick smile and welcome the warm breeze against my heated skin as I step out of his small, unair-conditioned shop and into the hustling mid-day crowd.

I don't know what it is that makes me pause just outside of the entrance to Mookjai Cadkeb – I'll blame it on the rickshaw passing so closely that my hair wooshes back off my shoulders and the smell of fresh fish and maybe-not-so-fresh produce waiting to be sold invading my nostrils. Whatever it is, I stop too long.

I know I've committed a terrible mistake – this pause – when I feel my body tense, being squeezed tightly by an electric-like aura, the quality of the atmosphere sitting heavy against me.

My feet begin to move before my brain can send any synapsis at all. As I've said, I'm used to be chased. My body knows how to react without thought.

Again, I'm thankful Allie and Grayson are with Mae – thankful that I am not pregnant, thankful that I've lost most of my pregnancy bulk as I weave through the crowd of dark hair and dark skin and loud calls to sell a multitude of items. It's both good and bad that the street market is full of window shoppers and slow grazing customers – I'm able to mix into the crowd and try and lose myself amongst the vast amount of people and things. The market may appear to be an unorganized mixture of tables and tents and barrels of fish and wooden crates of vegetables but I know this place very well – I can wind through this maze swiftly, but he's moving quickly too.

I can feel him. Sense him.

So close behind me, nearly on my heels.

I don't have to look behind me to know that he's moving in, getting closer, much better at playing his part than I am at mine. I've been the victim for a little more than seven years while he's been the hunter for centuries.

I have no chance at escape.

The thought runs through me like a shockwave, all the way through my veins and resonates in my bones as I take a quick turn through a make-shift store – a red, canvas tent with hundreds of seashell and beach glass wind chimes. Finally through them, I'm not in the crowd for more than eight seconds before I hear the same clinging and chiming and rustling of seashells that rang into the air as I passed – he's that close.

Eight seconds.

And he's closing in. His strides are longer than mine, his steps more confident.

I don't take the time to be for-sure, but I know I'm getting strange looks from those around me as I hop on one foot to remove my foamy-soled flip flop - then switch legs and remove the other. I can almost feel him smile at me - amused. We both know that the flip flops weren't slowing me down to the point that now that they are removed and shoved into my bag I'll be able to get away. Ducking under the railing and entering the covered shopping area, I shake my head – frustrated with myself for taking off my shoes as I know the move was futile and may have helped close the already small distance between us even more.

Moving past a few tables selling jewelry, socks, knock-off sunglasses, I can see the canal on the other side – I can smell the water – it's no more than thirty yards away. My escape! So close! A few steps more, my eyes on the murky green-brown water that will be my saving grace, I make a huge mistake.

The worst mistake.

Rule number one when being stalked, hunted… the prey must always watch their line of movement. Every step must be calculated in advance – your eyes must be on your path, not on your goal, not on the predator.

Still focused on the canal and the water and the sure-to-be-waiting-for-me long-tailed boat taxi, I'm not watching where I'm going and I'm not planning out my path and I step out in front of a tuk-tuk moving faster than it should be on it's three wheels and through a crowd of people shopping.

Again, I stop. Right in it's line – I stop.

I can feel the heat of it's engine and the rumbling of the tires against the concrete below my bare feet – hear the driver lay on the horn – but I can't move. It's too close. Much much too close.

And then I'm in his arms – pressed against a wooden support beam, his heavy green gaze on my face.

I can't look at him. My lips shaking from the adrenaline coursing through me, my skin much too aware of his warm, secure embrace – like being enveloped by something tailored just to you, perfectly fit.

He's angry with me for that mistake; nearly getting hit by the taxi – I know it because of the frequency we share. It's how I knew he was in the grocery store, it's how I knew he was behind me… it's how I've always known Stefan without laying eyes on him. Right now, our gravity, it's changed from the playful, cat and mouse, slightly sexual charge and is much less fun, much less easy… Stefan's angry with me.

And just like every time he's angry with me or upset about something I've done or said, I want it over with – I want him in every way possible. It's why my breath is shaky and my skin is fully away of his fingers gripping my hips - his firm body pinning against me.

I try a joke, "Perfect timing, Mr. Salvatore."

How many times has he saved my life?

It's a terrible thing to lose count of, but it's happened so many times; Stefan showing up at the exact right moment and removing me from harm… though this may be the first time since he's been human.

When I finally look up at his burning green eyes, the thought that Stefan doesn't need vampire senses or supernatural tricks to be the hero enters my mind and increases my want for my husband.

His brow is low, eyebrows knitted together – those perfectly soft lips pressed into a straight line telling me that he doesn't find my joke amusing.

I don't know if I'll ever get used to the way his body feels now that he's human – the softness and the warmth of his skin that was missing when he was a vampire. My hands are curled around his well formed, hard cut biceps and though I've felt his muscular arms before – I've licked and kissed and tasted them even – but before I move my hands to his face I gently squeeze and delight in the hard muscles of my husbands beautiful, strong, never-failing arms.

"Stefan," I feel him relax a bit and I can't tell you if it's because of my hands touching his face every so gently or me saying his name. "I'm fine."

I should be looking into his eyes – those burning, beautiful, telling green eyes that make me weak in the knees still, after seven years together – but I'm watching his mouth, _wanting_ his mouth.

"I shouldn't have chased you." He says quietly, my lips moving towards his is uncontrolled – not forced, almost involuntary; we haven't seen each other in nearly a full day. It's the longest we've been apart since I found him and Allie here in Thailand. Since then, we haven't spent more than nine hours away from each other and that's just while I am working.

Ignoring his unnecessary guilt – I was enjoying being chased by him, playing out the ways I'd let him catch me, the things I'd let him do to me once caught… - I brush back the short hair over his ears and place a soft, slow kiss on his lips as he presses our bodies together his with his hands splayed flat on the lowest low of my back.

Kissing Stefan is like coming up for air – every time. Seven years later. Two full years of just us – no drama, no threats – and every kiss sets me on fire; an internal burn for him that is never satisfied.

His hands split – leaving my lower back, one moves further up my shirt, the other grazing down my rear to my hip – our kiss getting hotter, deeper. I forget that we're surrounded by a hundred people, that I'm covered in a sheen of sweat from the humid heat. I don't know how far I'd be willing to go, his hand pulling my leg up around his waist for a moment before he pulls away – his beautiful smile against my hungry lips – it's always Stefan who has the control. With him, I give myself completely. He knows it and he enjoys it… knowing what he does to me.

We're both breathless from our kiss – from breaking apart far from where we wanted it to lead. Resting his forehead against mine, I can hear his delight when he says "You have no idea how badly I missed you."

I do. I missed him just the same. But I'm not going to tell him how I cried myself to sleep last night… he probably already knows. Stefan knows me through and through.

Changing the subject as I am a little embarrassed by how emotional I was about spending the night alone, I ask "How was their flight?"

Kissing my forehead, he moves back and glances around quickly – I follow his gaze and notice many unhappy faces looking our way. Two American's making out in the market is apparently not looked at fondly. I don't care – they don't know him, they can't possibly understand my love for Stefan. Still, I'm surprised when Stefan kisses my mouth once more, still passionate and loving, but quicker – he doesn't care either.

Lacing his fingers with mine, Stefan gives a small laugh, "You know how Katherine is.", then brings my hand to his face and kisses my fingers.

Do I? I guess so… she's cold and vindictive and has to have what she wants when she wants it. Now that I think about it, asking Katherine to sit in a commercial flight from New York to Bangkok was probably like asking a bull to sit still in a china closet.

"And Damon?" The question escapes my lips before I can think about how Stefan may take to me asking about his brother.

Thankfully, Stefan doesn't seem to falter in the slightest, giving a shrug and saying "Damon handles Katherine much better than anyone else possibly could."

I haven't seen Damon and Katherine together – like as a couple together, so honestly, I don't know what Stefan means by that, but it makes sense. He and Katherine are so much alike. Atleast they were as vampires – it bothers me, really irritates me that I've been wondering about how Damon will be now that he's human.

We haven't seen Damon, or anyone else for that matter, since the day Gia and Bonnie spelled us all and broke the blood line curse – saving Allie and bringing me back to life as a human. I didn't remember Damon back then, not the way I do now. Everything that his compulsion took away from me returned when I woke in that crypt – all of my memories of loving Stefan… and of loving Damon.

Nothing has changed – Stefan is my soulmate. I've always known that Stefan was my choice. That's why I'm so angry with myself for wondering about Damon…

"Where are you?" Stefan asks, brushing my hair off my shoulders. It's how he asks me what I'm thinking without asking me what I'm thinking.

Shrugging, I sigh, "I'm nervous I guess."

Damon and Katherine, Bonnie, Jeremy and the twins, Lola and Liam, Caroline and Klaus – when we planned this big get together, I was so excited! It was my idea even, but that was more than a year ago when I was cute pregnant with Grayson and not frumpy and worn-through from carrying a nine pound Salvatore boy. I've been working out and eating right as much as I can for the last three months. I'm back in my pre-pregnancy clothes, but I still don't feel right - I can't help that I'm almost shaking nervous about having to stand next to the always-perfect Caroline and my husband's first love, Katherine… both of which he's got a _history_ with.

Pursing his lips, I can see Stefan choosing his words carefully – we've argued about this off and on for the last few weeks. Every day getting closer and closer to today – the day of everyone's arrival – and every day I'd get a little more tense, a little more self-conscious. Stefan's never been the kind of guy to have a wondering eye or to fantasize about other girls, but let's face it; I haven't exactly been the Elena of old lately. I've been much too concerned about my not-as-tight-as-they-used-to-be abs to let him touch my stomach. We went a full year taking showers together – yes, a full year without missing a single night of making out beneath a stream of hot water and falling into our bed with our skin still steaming from the shower and making love – sometimes laughing and playful, other times intense and passionate. Now I won't even let him see me naked with the light on…

My brain keeps saying, _no Stefan would never! _while that annoying little voice in the back of my mind whispers, _he's a guy, a guy that's been with Katherine and Caroline… of course he's excited about seeing them._

"Elena. I love you." Stefan says through a frown, kissing my fingers – just below my wedding ring. "You own me. You truly have nothing to worry about." To this day, hearing him say that – _you own me _ – it thrills me, radiates light into my bone marrow. "But if you want I'll tell them to go home. All of them."

I laugh, picturing Stefan telling everyone to get back on a plane for another seventeen hours – that would go over really well. "I'm serious. It doesn't bother me at all. I got to see Damon – I know he's alright and Katherine hasn't murdered him in his sleep." Again I laugh – but, Stefan has actually been a little worried about that. He says Katherine, human or vampire, should be feared. "Everyone else, I don't care about seeing." I frown, he's lying. "Ok, I'd like to see Caroline, but it's not a big deal."

I feel like a petulant child. Stefan my caretaker burdened with my low self esteem and my incessant need for reassurance – both are bi-products left over from the compulsion, as well as from the raging hormones still not yet back to normal after having our very handsome son, Grayson. Shaking my head no, I pretend to be looking at a piece of beach-glass jewelry when I ask, "Where are they now?"

Stefan smiles, remembering something humorous, "After the long flight, then another seven hour drive here, they were in need of some space _away _ from each other, so I dropped them off at the bed and breakfast."

I run it through in my mind – Jeremy and family landed two hours ago, so they should be in town by nightfall and will stay with us. Caroline and Klaus are coming in tomorrow via private jet, then a private local flight. That gives me a few hours to go home, shower, and put on my best _you don't intimidate me in the slightest_ persona.

I'm quiet too long, my eyes too still to be looking at the jewelry. Stefan rests his hand against my lower back and says quietly into my ear. "I'm serious, Elena… I'll tell them to go. Just say the word and I'll give them some story and take the blame." When his hand slips around my waist, moving towards my stomach as he pulls me back against him in what should be a sweet hug, my over-concerned brain moves from his embrace before his fingers touch my belly. I don't look at him – I don't have to, I can sense his frown.

I hate it – not feeling comfortable with him touching me, making him feel rejected, restricting his access to his wife's body – so I give a nonchalant, "No, it's okay." and take his hand in mine, pretending to look for the exit. "Let's go back to Mr. Mookjai's and get some groceries." I start to move, but Stefan is stone still and even as human he's so much stronger than me… he doesn't budge. Giving my best smile, I look at his beautiful Roman face, so perfectly shaped and cut into what a man should look like… I have to push away the thoughts of Caroline and Katherine loving his face as much as I do. "I'm fine, Stefan, really."

Not really, but what choice do I have? Damon and Katherine are already here – Caroline and Klaus are probably in the air while Jeremy and Bonnie are only a couple hours away – too late to back out now.

STEFAN's POV

I wasn't around for Allie's birth. I wasn't there to see how Elena felt or to compare our first pregnancy to the second so I have no clue if this is normal for Elena. But after reading and researching, I've learned that having some body issues is one hundred percent normal after having a child.

I _can_ tell you as a man who knows every single curve and dip, each muscle and freckle, every inch of his wife's body, Elena doesn't look much different from the first day I met her.

For the life of me I can't figure out why she thinks she looks _frumpy_ or _out of shape._ I've been watching her all day – from the sidelines after dropping Damon and Katherine at their hotel and finding her in the market, then the rest of the afternoon that we spent lazily wasting away our last few hours of solitude trolling through the various tents and tables, sneaking kisses, playfully flirting... She wore a white tank top and olive green short shorts, not hiding much, and I have to say that after a couple of hours inspecting her, her body is, as always, calling to me.

I crave her… crave her touch, her skin against mine, her body in my hands. The curve of her hips, the deep arc of her waist, her long, firm legs… her neck, her breasts, her beautiful face… she looks no different. So – while it's normal for her to have some body conscious issues, they are completely groundless and though I'd deny it if anyone asks, I'm finding it more and more difficult to restrain my desire for her.

Elena is as sexy and strikingly beautiful as she always has been.

I'm still watching her – finally home from grocery shopping. As always, we split the duties. Elena nursed Grayson after I bathed him, then while she was tied up with my little guy, Allie and I read through another chapter of her children's Bible before our end of day ritual of cuddling and talking, and yes, singing. I, Stefan Salvatore, sing. She's got her mother's way of coercing me into doing anything and everything to make her happy.

I've just finished with Allie's goodnight and I've checked on Grayson, returning to the kitchen of our seaside home to find Elena putting up the groceries – stretching and reaching and bending and making my palms tingle and my mouth salivate with the thought of her.

She won't let me touch her like she used to – it's been close to a year since the last time she allowed me to make love to her the way I like – and I can't help how badly I want her. I'm lost in my thoughts of sitting her on the kitchen counter and having her taste on my tongue and her hands fisting in my hair when she turns around and says "Bonnie just sent a message – they're about an hour out."

Bonnie – she's a wonderful friend to Elena, sister-in-law I guess I should say, but her name is like a cold-shower to me. I don't know why. Bonnie is a beautiful girl… but the instant I hear her name any thoughts of making love to Elena slip away.

"Have they ate?" I start moving again, frozen in place as I watched my wife… wanting her. Opening the fridge, I look through the contents and try to think of something to put together for them. "I can make a quick salad – cut up some fruit." Imagining how beat down she and Jeremy will be after making such a long trip with two one year olds, I spot an old bottle of Petron and add with a chuckle "I can soak the fruit in tequila."

When Elena doesn't respond, not even a returned laugh at the tequila joke, I start pulling items from the shelves – spinach leaves, strawberries, a block of Asiago cheese that I used on a pasta a couple nights ago. My hands are full and for some reason my muscles tense when Elena's arms slip around my body – her hands splayed flat against my stomach. She's warm against my back – it's a strange, enticing sensation, the warmth of her on my back versus the cool of the refrigerator in front of me.

I can feel her chin moving against my back as she speaks– she's short, her face is between my shoulder blades. "Have I told you how amazing you are?" Moving her touch down my torso, I start to wonder if she was waiting for this moment - when my hands would be busy with the salad items. Unable to move, I look down, watching as one hand takes hold of my belt buckle – her thumb slipping under the waist of my jeans, the other hand moving beneath the fabric of my shirt. "I'm sorry that I've been so strange lately." Leaving a teasing kiss against my back, her fingernail scrape slow soft circles against my stomach – my abs clenching in response to her playful touch.

"I can drop all of this on the floor." I hope I sound more playful than I feel… I want her terribly. "Doesn't bother me a bit, you know."

She laughs. That sweet, teasing giggle that sends tremors of pride through me – _I did that, I made her laugh. _I'm sure I've told her before – it's her face and her laugh that fuels my desire for her, more than any other part of her – I can't help but wonder if this sweet sound is yet another play from her arsenal. "Are you seducing me?"

Releasing me from her embrace, Elena is covering her smile with her fingers when I turn to face her. Yes. She is seducing me. Returning her smile, I know my face an open book – less mischievous, more anxious.

Backing away from me in a slow sway, she lets me look her over as she says, "Make the salad. I can wait."

I counter her move – stepping towards her, "Maybe, but I don't know if I can."

"And deprive my brother and sister-in-law of my husband's amazing culinary skills?" Elena walks her finger tips up my arm as I sit the items on the isle she's leaning against, adding in a coy tone as she hops onto the counter and I suppress a smile as I recall my fantasy from just moments earlier, "Surely, you aren't that cruel."

Leaning into her, I kiss her softly, taking her bottom lip between my teeth and letting them scrape over her soft flesh when I pull away – my hand has found it's way to her inner thigh. "I can be as cruel as you like."

Her bottom lip is shiny, wet from my saliva when she sighs through her smile, "You are so bad, Stefan".

I look at her for a long moment, taking in the sight of my beautiful wife looking at me like she does – like I'm all she sees – all the while my thumb is grazing back and forth against the skin of her thigh, just under the fabric of her shorts. I'm wondering how far she'd let me go… how close I could come to acting out my fantasy of having her on the kitchen counter before she stops me when she adds, "Salad?"

A little frustrated, a little embarrassed by the images playing in my mind, I take my hand from her leg and run in through my hair – pressing an exhale through tight lips – then begin with the salad.

Elena watches – she always watches me cook. Every night for two years now, I clean and prepare and chop and mix and cook while Elena observes. Surely, she's picked up on something by now but this is our thing – our time together when we talk, or when we just be together in that comfortable silence that we've always shared. For me, it's the time of the day when all my worries and concerns, anything causing me stress, it slips away in her presence.

I've grated the cheese into a ceramic bowl and have started slicing the strawberries, my thoughts focusing on the task in a way of easing my high-strung desire for her, when her warm mouth against my neck surprises me. I turn into her, meet her lips with mine and when she sucks my tongue into her mouth I taste the sweet flavor of wine, feel the cool sensation of alcohol.

I want her. God you have no idea. I mean, don't get me wrong, we've had sex a handful of times since Grayson was born… but she's been reserved, scared, timid – I want to carry on with this so badly. I've got one hand trailing up and down her body and the other – stained red from the strawberries – against her face when I finally convince myself to move away from this deep, passionate kiss.

"Are you drunk?" My eyes are still closed, my mouth against her skin.

I'm licking at her neck, sucking at her soft skin as she replies, "Consider it liquid courage. I can't have my husband unsatisfied when his ex-girlfriends show up."

There are a million things Elena could have said – so many ways she could have responded – but that one sentence is probably the only thing that would make me stop, pull away.

She must see it – the heavy weight in my eyes as I look at her face. I don't know what else I can say or do to show her that there is no one else I want. No one could compare to her. I've spent the last six months telling her over and over how beautiful she is, how much I love her, how I want her – most times she takes it as a ploy for sex and it's actually caused us a few ridiculous arguments.

"Wait," My hand is still holding her face, but the other has left her body and is holding my weight on the countertop next to her hip. "I just mean. I mean I want this… I want us to be normal again and for me to get over my… my, whatever." That smile… my hand moves back to her body, holding her hip. Who am I kidding? I can't resist her. "The wine is just to help me get over the hump."

I frown at her, so confused at how she could possibly see herself as anything short of breathtaking, "You're just, Elena you're so beautiful. I wish you could see that."

Her clear, endless dark eyes are looking at my mouth, then finally at my eyes as she takes my hand from her face and kisses the tip of my smallest finger. "You make me feel beautiful." Kiss on the tip of my ring finger. "You make me feel sexy." Kiss on the tip of my middle finger. "I want you." I inhale sharply when she slips my middle finger into her mouth – her warm mouth and wet tongue slipping against my sensitive nerves makes my jaw clench tightly as I watch her lips curled around me, her eyes watching mine. Finally releasing me, she licks her lips and smiles, "You know how much I love strawberries."

"Don't start something you can't finish, Mrs. Salvatore." I nearly groan, pulling her hips closer to me – her legs wrapping around my waist as she tosses her head back and laughs, resting back on her hands so that I can't quite reach her mouth to kiss her.

"Never, Mr. Salvatore." She teases, stretching her body out in front of me – I can't tell you how delicious she looks or how hungry for her that I am.

I look at her face once more, giving her ample opportunity to back out – instead, Elena bites her bottom lip and trails her gaze down my torso. "Take off your shirt."

Quickly reacting to her command, I toss my shirt towards the dishwasher and wonder if it was wine or that Petron that I tasted as she's got plenty of courage.

When she starts to sit up, reaching out to touch my chest, I take hold of her hands and push her back down – her giggle does nothing to help ease the burn I have for her.

"You just lay back." I say, nonchalant like as I unbutton her shorts, kissing the exposed skin of her pelvis as I unzip them.

I've tugged them down, just past her hip bones, my tongue trailing against her panty line and her hands in my hair – just like I imagnined – as her body arches, pressing her skin against my lips when Allie calls to me.

I stand straight up, shirtless – caught red handed by my six year old daughter. Elena turns, slips off of the counter – her face covered by her hands though I think I can feel a blushing heat radiating off of her.

"Daddy, I saw a scorpio." She means, scorpion.

Allie is standing in the doorway holding the red, one eyed Muno doll that Pepper and Robert sent her for Christmas – I have no idea what she thinks I was doing leaned over her mother laid flat on the countertop, but from her angle she couldn't have seen much of anything. The realization makes me nearly laugh. Still terribly embarrassed and facing away from Allie, Elena nudges me the ribs with her elbow as I hold back my chuckle.

ELENA's POV

"Are you satisfied now?" Stefan asks Allie. "No, scorpions."

I'm in the main bathroom – quickly running a brush through my hair, checking to make sure I don't need a hit of deodorant or blow my nose or something. The tequila was a great idea!

All I feel is my love for Stefan, my deep need to feel him deep inside of me – to let me touch and kiss and taste and set me ablaze like only he can – two shots of tequila and all of my points of contention and my silly concerns are nowhere to be found. I'm a light-weight, thank goodness.

"I saw one, Daddy." Allie says in her tone of voice that tells me that she's telling the truth – her voice tells me she's frustrated, maybe still concerned about the _scorpio_ she's sure she saw.

"Come on, hop in." Stefan says – I can practically see him tucking her into bed. My husband, he's amazing. He's got more patience with our daughter and our new son than any man I've ever witnessed with children. I'm not surprised though… there is nothing Stefan Salvatore cannot do.

Why that thought – the fact that Stefan is so capable, intelligent, so fully-deft in everything he does – why it makes my want for him increase, I don't know. But I quickly flip off the light and head back to the kitchen with plans to start that scene up right where we left it.

Nearly to the isle, I'm considering actually hoping back up on it when the doorbell rings.

I sigh – a big, heavy, _are you kidding me_ sigh. I haven't seen my brother or my best friend in two years! I've never even met Lola and Liam! But here they are standing outside my door and I give a frustrated sigh… that's how badly I want Stefan.

When I open the door, Jeremy – it kind of breaks my heart that he's a grown man… - is smiling and holding Lola on his left arm and Liam on his right; both unconscious – asleep on their daddy's shoulders. I cover my mouth with both hands as my eyes fill with tears. Until this moment, actually seeing my baby brother and his children, I hadn't realized how terribly I'd missed them.

Still shirtless, Stefan has an intent stride to his walk when he comes into the kitchen – giving me a quick look that matched my heavy sigh, before smiling at Jeremy and gesturing for him to follow. Again, Stefan just knows… I don't have to direct, I don't have to remind. Jeremy has two sleeping kids in his arms – Stefan silently leads them to their bedroom for the weekend.

My eyes are watching them, peeking at the squished up chubby faces on my brothers shoulders when Bonnie slams into me, squeezing me tightly.

"Bonnie!" I squeal – quieter than if there weren't four sleeping kids within earshot, but still it's high pitched and very girly. I haven't been girly with a girlfriend in so long. I squeeze her back with the thought.

I show her around – laugh at Bonnie and Jeremy's comments about our 'bungalow' being closer to a mansion. It's not. I mean it's big and it's beautiful and Stefan makes sure that we have the best of the best – but it's only five bedrooms so that my family from the US can visit. It's right here on the beach because I wanted to be able to watch the sunset over the ocean and to let our kids play in the sand. Stefan made sure my every wish came true, my every desire he takes as his own personal project.

I'm listening to Bonnie tell us about the terrible flight – the turbulence and Liam and Lola crying, the flight attendant that may have had her eye on Jeremy – but my mind keeps wandering to Stefan. He's got his shirt back on, leaning against the door frame with his arms loosely folded across his chest – his green eyes smiling at me each time I look his way.

"Any way, I'm just so glad to be here!" Bonnie sits back on the couch, squeezing my hand. "I'm exhausted."

"And starving." Jeremy adds.

Standing straight, Stefan offers, "I was just making you guys a salad. You wanna beer?"

Jeremy nods yes, as does Bonnie, and Stefan leaves us in the living room.

"Is it possible that Stefan is getting hotter as he ages?" Bonnie teases in a near whisper voice. I look at Jeremy – he just gives a playful roll of his eyes. "How is that fair?"

She's right. He is getting more handsome with every passing day. "You should see him with Allie and Grayson."

I lean back into the couch next to Bonnie. "We got really lucky, Elena."

I chuckle – I know, trust me. I know. To end up with Stefan after everything we went through – Katherine, Klaus, the Originals, Damon… Damon's compulsion.

I'm lost in my thoughts of how grateful I am for my little family when Jeremy asks about the local attractions. I tell him that locally there isn't much – Stefan picked a very rural, somewhat dull fishing village to hide away in – but that we could go into Sikao, or head further in to see the temples and what not.

"Here you go, man." Stefan returns, handing Jeremy, then Bonnie, a beer just as I finish telling Bonnie and Jeremy about how the locals are somewhat fearful of us – how they call Allie a tree spirit.

"Have they ever tried to hurt you guys? Or like, worship at her feet or anything?" Jeremy questions after he takes a long pull from his drink.

"No," Stefan answers, "They just bring their broken Buddha's to our property for good luck or something."

After a long moment of silence where I'm watching Stefan and he's watching me while Jeremy contemplates the strange tree spirit reputation that our daughter has, Bonnie stands up and says, "No. We aren't doing this." Extending her hand to Jeremy, she laughs, "I said no supernatural stuff and I mean it. We're in Thailand, on the beach, staying at our best friends very nice, very expensive home. You take me out to the deck and cuddle with me under the stars right now, Jeremy Gilbert."

Giving a laugh, Jeremy takes her hand and stands with her, shrugging as he says in a faux-frustrated tone, "She's so demanding."

It makes me happy – I mean, truly thrilled to see Bonnie and Jeremy together. He deserves someone like her. Bonnie deserves someone like my brother. I watch them head out to the deck, then look to Stefan, now sitting on the arm rest of the couch.

We've got a rule – it's never been spoken really, not outloud, but we are both well aware of it – our rule of never saying 'Everything's going to be okay' or 'Nothing's going to happen'. But I can't help but feel that way – like our lives have finally settled into what they always should have been.

Shaking his head with a wide smile on his face, I know Stefan knows what I'm thinking. "Don't." He warns with a laugh as I stand up and extend my hand to him in the same fashion Bonnie did to Jeremy.

"Coming?" I ask. Stefan looks at my hand, then trails his gaze up my body in a painfully slow way that makes me shiver as I remember what we could be doing had we not been interrupted. When his eyes finally meet mine, he raises an eyebrow – asking me where I'm taking him. "We can cuddle under the stars." I tease – I know what he wants, but we're going to have to wait.

Taking my hand, he stands and lifts my fingers to his mouth – kissing them. "I'll be out in a second." When I frown, he continues. "I'm going to get their salads together and bring it out to them. Maybe put some music on." My Stefan… seriously, I know I can't say it – but really, he's everything.

"Okay." Standing on my tip-toes, I kiss his lips and start to leave him, but his arm tightens around my waist and he holds me in place, looking into my eyes.

"I love you."

I smile. How could I not. "I love you."

I kiss him again – let my lips linger on his a bit longer than before. When I pull away, his arm slips from my side.

"I'll be right out." He smiles, kissing me on my cheek and adding in a playful whisper against my ear, "I'm gonna cuddle you so hard."

I laugh. Hard. Pushing him away from me. Playful Stefan… I've always loved him the most.

I know. I'm not supposed to think it or say it or even almost let my mind consider it –but as I step out onto the deck and find Bonnie and Jeremy kissing like a couple of teenagers the thought enters my mind – this weekend is going to be okay, afterall.

****MORE TO COME****

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	2. Chapter 2

**The Reaping – Ch2**

ELENA's POV

I wake up to the unique scent of Stefan's cinnamon vanilla French toast and the Christmas morning-like sound of the voices and the laughter of every single person in the world that I love having breakfast in my home.

Hugging Stefan's pillow, I smile – eyes still closed, I can't remember the last time I felt this whole – truly complete. Maybe all the way back to my childhood when I still believed in Santa and my little world was still intact and simple.

I stay that way for a long time, half-asleep and listening to the inaudible voices and laughs and the scraping of silverware against dishes, the high-pitched giggles and squeals of our children – our reward for making it through the years of distress that have brought us all to this morning. I think I catch Jeremy's laugh, then a playful 'whatever' from Bonnie, but it's the unmistakable 'brother' that opens my eyes and pulls me from my reverie of childhood memories and thankful prayers.

It's because of their age – the way Stefan and Damon call each other brother. Not 'dude' or 'man', not even 'buddy'… 'brother'. That's how they speak to one another. I know it was Damon's voice that I caught referring to Stefan and the knot in my stomach makes me feel a bit ill.

It's a fifty-fifty problem.

Half of me wants to see Damon and show him that he and I can be friends and that Katherine and I can get along – I want to show Stefan that the four of us can actually be in the same room with one another… that he and I could attempt a relationship with them. That he can resurrect his once unbreakable bond with his brother.

The other half of me wishes Katherine would have stayed in the states; wishes that I could forget the _triangle_ and the entire selfish relationship that I toyed around in with Damon while Stefan and I were apart. This half of me wishes I would have gave up carbs the day I gave birth to Grayson and is berating me for not making passionate, bed rattling love to my husband when he carried me – tipsy and drowsy -to bed last night.

Stefan won't admit it, he won't say it aloud, but he's been silently concerned with my current feelings for Damon.

I can see it in his telling-green eyes when I've answered the phone and found Damon calling for Stefan. I can see the way he listens to me talking to his brother, dissecting my tone and my laugh. Stefan is not a jealous man. He's not a suspicious husband in any way… but he's cautious when it comes to Damon. Just as he says that even a human Katherine is dangerous, Stefan believes that human Damon is just as devious as he was a vampire.

I hope not.

Slipping on a pair of white khaki shorts, my green bikini top, and blue sleeveless chiffon shirt that's dark enough to hide my body, but sheer enough to let in the breeze and for the green of my bikini to show through, I give myself a quick once over as I brush my teeth and pull my hair back –somewhat satisfied.

Blue and green when paired with white are a current fashion trend – with the likes of Caroline Forbes-Mikaelson and Katherine Pierce, I've got to be on my fashion a-game.

STEFAN's POV

Even without the sensitive hearing that I had when I was a vampire, I can hear Elena, Bonnie, Katherine, Damon, and Jeremy laughing and talking on the deck. I'm probably thirty yards away, standing in the sand and watching Allie, Lola, and Liam playing – the proud smile of an adoring father squarely on my face as Allie tends to her younger cousins in a very responsible way. Keeping them from getting too close to the water, holding their little hands and running up the sand and away from the tide, before turning to chase it away again.

If it weren't for her green eyes and the wave in her now dark chestnut hair, I'd be worried that the doppelganger curse may be turning for a third rotation. The older Allie gets, the more she resembles her mother – and the harder I know my life is going to be when she gets older. Elena has no shortage of admirers whether she realizes it or not.

These last few days I've been preparing myself for the first big Damon/Elena/Stefan/Katherine test and thus far, we're all playing it pretty safely. Katherine hugged me with one arm, my hand resting high up on her back during the short embrace – my brothers eyes on me, inspecting.

While I cooked for the masses, Katherine sat in the floor of the dining room and held Grayson in her lap and played with Allie. Bonnie and Jeremy joined us soon after and the addition of the twins kept Katherine busy while Damon and Jeremy started mixing Bloody Mary's. By the time Elena made it into the kitchen, everyone had ate and Bonnie, the slowest drinker of the group, was working on finishing her second drink.

I caught Damon's long look at my wife.

I saw it.

While starting on her French toast and pouring a cup of coffee, I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw – smiling as Elena hugged him with _both_ arms around his shoulders. After an awkward hello with Katherine, Elena came to me – beautiful with her glowing skin and tension breaking smile. With a quick kiss on my lips and that smile, all of my tension melted away and I stood with her, proud that I had a hand in making Elena so thoroughly happy.

If there is one thing you should know about Elena, it's that she's only truly happy when she's surrounded by her family. It's how I know we're going to have the _lets move back_ conversation the moment she and I are alone. We've discussed it before – many times, and I can't say that I'm against it or for it - but I think we both let it go without coming to a resolution because neither of us are sure about how all of this would work.

This get together… it's a trial period, a dry run of sorts.

After a particularly heated discussion about moving back to Mystic Falls, Elena starting putting this weekend together and though I'd secretly hoped it would fall through or be pushed to the waste side, here I am – watching my daughter play with her cousins on our beach front property with Grayson at my feet and Klaus coming up behind me.

He thinks I don't know he's here.

I have no vampire senses so I can only guess it's a kind of self-preservation that all human's have when their enemy is moving in on them.

Klaus comes to my side and stands in the same exact position as I am – hands in the pockets of my cargo shorts, shoulders and neck relaxed, my eyes on the blue-green water in front of us. I don't flinch or look his way, I don't even acknowledge that he's next to me.

We stand this way for a long while – Allie even turns to wave at him and I still act like he's nothing more than an inanimate object at my side.

I've been apprehensive about Damon and Katherine, but it was Klaus that I've been really dreading. He and I – we have a very odd history with one another. From dysfunctional best friends to enemies, master and servant to warring against one another. He's got to be angry with me… how could he not be?

"Come now, mate" Klaus says, humor in his tone. "We've got to put this behind us, you and I."

Surprised, I turn to look at him as a smile comes to my face. He looks the same – scruffy blond beard and that confident look in his eyes. I'll never admit it, but I didn't realize that I consider him a friend until this moment.

I'm lost in my thoughts of the friendship he and I once shared, that I'd played on when I lured him to Naples, when he nudges me with his elbow and continues through his grin. "I tried to murder your wife a handful of times, you've had sex with mine… I think we can call that an equal trade of offenses, don't you?"

I don't, but I can't help but chuckle a bit at his choice of words, "So what, we're even? Let it go?"

Shrugging, Klaus turns in place and grips my shoulder like he did when we were friends, brothers. Jokingly, he says "Eh, I'd say you got the better end of the deal, but I digress. Let's let bygones be bygones, shall we?"

I don't have much of a choice in the matter – Elena has already given me the rundown of how badly she wants Caroline in her life and the lives of our children – I've got to atleast be cordial with Klaus if that's got any chance of happening. Still, I look at him a bit longer – I guess I'm trying to spot a flaw in his relaxed façade… something to tip me off to this forgiving version of Klaus being a ruse – when Caroline's voice calls my name and she hops onto my back.

I know I should try and shake her off, but honestly I'm so thrilled to have her near me again that I forget that she and I once dated and that the friendly rough-housing is probably being looked upon with judging eyes. Finally, after multiple kisses at the side of my face and the two of us laughing at the ridiculousness of us being part of a world we thought we'd been banished from forever, Caroline slips off of me – looping one arm with me and one with Klaus – her husband.

"You two are making amends, right?" She asks, her voice hopeful and her laugh bright.

I've missed Caroline terribly… more than I would have thought possible.

"Of course, Darling." Klaus coos to her, kissing her lips – I know he's claiming her and I hope to God he realizes that I'm more than fine with it.

Caroline and I may have had a sexual relationship in the past, but it was a means to an end, at best… she is my dearest friend – nothing more, nothing less.

Taking my arm from Caroline's, she gives me a knowing look just before she cuddles up against Klaus and Allie calls to her to come to the water.

He and I stand there a bit longer – quietly watching as our lives begin to meld together for a third time. It's strange, the sense of comfort mingled with the uneasiness I get from Klaus and Caroline – warring emotions.

"How much of this is yours?" Klaus asks, looking down the beach.

Grayson is pawing at my leg, doing his best to get my attention – picking him up, I try not to sound too smug when I say, "two miles north, a mile and a half south… and this little guy." He gives my son a quick once over before turning his attention back to my property.

I don't know why that pisses me off and makes me concerned for Caroline and her hopes of having a family. The expression on his face when he looked at Grayson reminded me a bit too much of Mikael – too cold, too distant.

I watch him inspecting my house, the coconut trees around the deck – the hammock that Bonnie is lounging on and sipping on her drink as Elena hugs close to Jeremy's arm and Damon stands a little too near to her – making her laugh.

Klaus gives me a look, gesturing towards my brother and his comfortable stance close to my wife but I do my best to ignore him and that knot getting tighter in my gut; Focusing on Grayson as he smiles at me and nuzzles against my neck.

I'm proud of the home Elena and I have here on the west coast of Thailand. We've made some minor changes to the home we live in and we bought up quite a bit of the land on either side of us… this place is a safe haven for me, it holds the majority of my memories of Allie and all of my memories of Grayson. It's where Elena and I have moved into a mature relationship, a real life, where we've grown our family and rooted our love – I clench my jaw, thinking of the sure to come plead to move back to the States.

I feel secure here - like my little family, my world, is safe. Most nights I leave the windows open and we sleep surrounded by warm, clean air and the scent of salty water and coconut trees.

Mystic Falls is a cage in a comparison.

"Caroline said you were doing pretty well for yourself." He coos – immediately I know that he's about to one-up me. Klaus, the eternal Alpha. "We've just purchased a vineyard in Southern France – just a little place near La Belle Gordes." I spent some time there during one of my on-the-wagon recovery stints. It's a beautiful, historic area with rolling hills and probably the bluest sky I can remember seeing in my 178 years.

It's odd, I know, but recalling my time there makes me feel thirsty.

Even a shack would be pricey – a vineyard must've cost him millions. Klaus waits to see if I say anything, a nod or a raise of my eyebrows to tell him I'm impressed… I'm not. I purchased our five bedroom home, the land surrounding it, and did the renovations to the kitchen and the bathrooms for a little more than three-hundred thousand US dollars. In Thailand, that's nearly a million baht. In France, it's a hundred thousand euro. Compared to Klaus, I'm a beggar. He could've bought the entire country of Thailand for what I imagine he spent on his vineyard in the South of France.

Klaus' smile widens, he looks satisfied and I'm a little unsure why he appears so pleased until I realize that though I'm not impressed and a vineyard is not really my style, I've been quiet much too long and my jaw is still tight from the odd thirst, the dryness of my mouth.

Forcing a smile and a nod, as if to say _that's great!,_ I call to Allie to come back to the house. I want to get away from Klaus and break up the Damon/Elena laughing and find something to douse the thirst raging in my throat.

XXXXXXX

I've put Grayson in his play gym and my mind is focused on finding something to eat – I nearly walk right by the hallway, nearly miss seeing Katherine walk into our bedroom at the end of the hall.

Without really trying, I walk lightly on the dark birch hardwood as I close the distance. Coming to the entrance of the master bedroom that I share with my wife, I find Katherine grazing her finger tips over the white, down comforter of our queen sized bed. I watch her leisurely walk to my bedside table and pick up my watch. She's slipping on her wrist when she finally lets on that she knows I'm there.

"I've always found it sexy that you wear a watch, Stefan." Looking over her shoulder, she gives me a playful gaze that makes me feel bad for looking at her at all.

"What are you doing in here?" Ignoring me, she moves to the open windows and the breeze catches her perfume and the scent of her hair – a mixture of lemon and lavender that threatens to morph my thirst into a different kind of hunger.

In some hope of counter-acting the way her scent brings up the few positive memories I have of Katherine, I take a step back, out of the doorway – adding, "You shouldn't be in here."

After a long moment, she finally turns to me and gives me that same playful gaze and suggestive smile that she's always used as a weapon against me. "I'm just taking a look around – letting everyone reconnect without my interference."

It bothers me, the fact that I'd thought the exact same words when I took Allie, Grayson, and the twins down to the water.

I don't say anything in response, just continue to frown at her and her over-confidence as she leans against the window sill in a way that stretches out her body and the length of her bare legs. I manage to keep control of my raging, unanswered hormones and my eyes never leave the space between her eyebrows – the resemblance of Katherine's dark eyes is much too similar to Elena's and I don't want to deal with that right now – I can't.

After last night, nearly fulfilling my desire for my wife – the desire that's been burning and one-sided for months – I woke up wanting Elena. Too much wine and making a long-night of girl talk with Bonnie pretty much stamped out Elena for any kind of morning fun like we used to have and I wasn't able to get a run in. I'm so very thankful when Katherine finally stands straight and with a roll of her eyes, comes to the door.

Again, her eyes – Elena's eyes, their heavy on me so I keep my focus away from Katherine as she saunters by me, running her finger tips across my chest in the same way that she touched the comforter. When I grab her by the wrist I catch her by surprise – her dainty human wrist feels smaller in my grip than I remember it to be and the quick inhale nearly causes me to smile.

"Stefan!" Katherine says my name in a sweet, excited whisper.

I should feel bad – I know I should. She's a human now, we're all human and we are all supposed to have forgiven everyone for their wrong doings… but Katherine destroyed me.

At just seventeen years old, naïve Stefan Salvatore was wrecked by her and her desperate craving to be wanted.

So even though I know I should feel bad for her confusion, I don't – I let the smile teasing at my lips take over my face and I look right in her cold eyes when I say. "My watch. Take it off."

Katherine's never been good at displaying a poker face. She's a great actress, yes – but catch her off guard, surprise her and she's an open book. Like now, with her furrowed brow and pursed lips. She's angry for my teasing and maybe a little embarrassed.

I see the physical resemblance of my wife and this woman in front of me – it's undeniable and of course, she's beautiful. But I could never care for Katherine – she's cold and calculating, dangerous in her need to be paramount to all others. Katherine's similarity to Elena is shallow – beneath their perfect skin and beautiful face, Katherine is a void hole compared to Elena's warm soul, the way she loves is indescribable.

With Katherine, there's no truth in her beauty.

It doesn't take her long to recover and I suddenly wish I wouldn't have taunted her at all – slipping off my watch she presses in against my chest, leaning into me as she says "Oh, sorry – I forgot. Having you wrapped around me just felt right." Before leaving me tense and watching her saunter away with that mesmerizing sway in her hips.

****MORE TO COME****

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	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3 – THE REAPING**

-ELENA-

"It's Harry Winston!" Caroline says, her voice in a much higher octave than usual. Along with Bonnie, we've been crowded around the dining table for going on an hour now – catching up on each others lives all the way back to our Freshman year in college! "Three full karats!"

"I think your ring is bigger than my car, Caroline." Bonnie laughs, holding Caroline's fingers and turning her hand this way, then that way, watching the sunlight coming in through the open windows twinkle and sparkle and glitter.

Unintentionally, the fingers of my right hand begin to spin my ring – its both my engagement and wedding band – and I have the sudden desire to leave my girlfriends at the table and wrap my arms around my husband.

"Yours is pretty too, Elena." Caroline gives me one of those, _poor thing_, smiles, patting my arm – mistaking my unfocused stare and the touching of my band of glittering white gold to be longing for her large… no, huge, engagement ring and diamond covered wedding band.

I smile back, putting my hand ontop of hers now resting on my forearm – her ring is magnificent, very Klaus and Caroline. But to be honest, Stefan could have given me a key-ring and I'd wear it with the same pride I see I Caroline's eyes right now.

Don't get me wrong, I love my granule ring – It's perfect! But in my opinion, it's the man, not the band. Two years ago, I wouldn't have believed it if you would've told me that I could possibly love Stefan more – but every day that I wake up and find him next to me, still reality and not a dream… I fall in love with him more.

With me daydreaming about my husband – everything from the way he chops vegetables to the deep cut of his muscular back – and Caroline _finally_ at the end of her story of how Klaus proposed, our conversation has stalled.

Just so you know, Klaus proposed to Caroline on live television. Yes. Infront of hundreds of thousands of people during Caroline's coverage of New Years Eve in Dallas TX. It was on a jumbo tron and the crowd chanted "Say yes, say yes, say yes!" and when she said yes, there were fireworks and thousands of people clapping and the clock struck midnight as she kissed him. Very Klaus. Very Caroline.

Anyway, so Bonnie is slurping down her bloody mary and I'm picturing Stefan shirtless last night and I think I see Caroline about to start in on her wedding plans when Damon stands up and groans loudly – rolling his eyes at no one in particular and heading out to find Stefan, I assume.

He's been sticking close to Katherine most of the day, like he doesn't want to let her out of his sight – it's ridiculous for him to be worried about her and Stefan. I trust him… I trust her. When I woke in Klaus' coffin, in his crypt, I was terrified and sick and in a panic about Allie and Stefan. But Katherine was there. She'd been there for over thirty hours… waiting. Ready to help me. Help me get myself together and set me on my way to find my husband and my daughter.

Before the compulsion, before leaving for Rome with Stefan, Katherine and I found a happy-medium – a common ground. A lot of time had passed and our lives had become even crazier than before, but when I sat up from my coma-like state and found Katherine waiting for me, I have to say I was thrilled to see her.

She brought me fresh clothes, money, food and blood as she wasn't sure which one I'd need, and we spent a couple of days in a hotel room as we acclimated to living and she prepared herself to find Damon. I gave her pep-talks about how much Damon loved her. She gave me some insight into how Stefan traveled, the way he hid out in years past.

When we said our goodbyes and went our separate ways, we both shed tears. Funny how things turned out between us – going from immortal/mortal enemies to friends… family.

Katherine is acting weird, though. Or maybe I am. I don't know. I'm not sure how to merge my little family with my high school friends and my former enemies.

I'm having a terrible time interacting with Klaus. Things are awkward between Katherine and I, but Klaus and I haven't even spoken – not once. Not a single word. He's been with Stefan pretty much all day, they went to pick up our lunches together and have been on the deck ever since. Drinking, laughing. I guess Stefan is having an easier time with this.

I feel bad for not being able to move past the history I have with Klaus – Stefan and I have talked about their strange relationship, about how he hates him and really likes hanging out with him at the same time. My best friend is crazy about him, literally glowing as she tells me and Bonnie about their wedding plans – I force myself to focus and listen to her and smile and nod about her choice of colors. Agreeing with a bright smile when she shows us her red, amber, and gold color scheme on her Iphone – flipping through pictures of ruby red bridesmaid dresses for us to choose from – while I promise to do a better job with Klaus, and Katherine.

"Katherine, come over here with us." Like the three other times I've invited her to do something with us – take the kids for a walk down the beach after breakfast, have lunch on the deck, look at pictures of Allie, Grayson, Lola and Liam - my tone sounds so false. I have no idea why I can't be sincere about wanting her to join us.

"I'm fine. Thanks." Katherine gives her standard response, just like the other three times she's turned down my poor solicitation.

Bonnie and I stare at the back of Katherine's head for a long moment. It kind of bugs me that she won't even turn around on the couch and face us, pretend to be slightly interested. "Are you sure?" I try again. My gaze moving to Jeremy, barely awake on the loveseat – his eyes drooping. "We're planning a wedding over here!" My voice is _come on, its fun _light.

Still not turning to us, Katherine gives a heavy sigh, like it's annoying her to have to keep turning me down, "I'm over five-hundred years old, Elena. I've planned more weddings than you can imagine. If I hear something I find even a little interesting, I'll join in."

Caroline rolls her eyes, shooting an annoyed look over her shoulder towards Katherine before focusing on her phone again. Bonnie and I share a look – she shrugs and silently mouths, _I'll tell you later._

Another strange turn in our lives, Bonnie and Katherine have become, and I quote, "great friends."

No one saw that coming… especially not me.

I'll never admit it to anyone but Stefan, but I'm secretly seething with jealousy every time I see my best friend with my mirror image in pictures on Facebook, or when I talk to Bonnie on the phone and she tells me about their shopping trips, or something funny one of the kids did with _Auntie Kat._

Auntie Kat… ugh.

-DAMON-

I can't stand to sit here any longer…

When her head tilts down and those curls frame her devilishly sexy face, her eyes and the locks of her hair the same semi-sweet chocolate brown, that's when I can feel it radiating off of her. That's when I can feel it in the deepest pit of my gut... her disappointment in me. Worst part, there's nothing I can do to fix it. I know I'm not the only one of us who's about ready to throw up my hands and say to hell with it.

Fuck it.

We've tried… tried to the point that it's becoming a routine and a chore.

It's not the resort-style bungalow on the beach of Thailand, not the douche-bag his and hers Range Rovers, not the land, and not the money that he obviously has… hell it's not even Stefan that I see in Katherine's envious eyes – it's the family.

Princess Allie and Little G, as I call them.

Now, don't get me wrong, Katherine is not the least bit happy that Elena's living the life she's always felt she deserved – living in paradise with an adoring husband and a fat bank account. All the years Stefan spent playing human while I lived my vampire-life to the fullest extent, he was working and saving and studying and investing. The February morning that I woke up sick and sore and fucking human, all I had was five-thousand dollars in the bank and a freezer full of blood.

One was useless to me and the other didn't get me through spring.

Two years as human and I'm going on twenty-six years old – or one hundred and eighty three – whichever way you want to look at it, and I'm a sophomore in college. A God-Damned sophomore.

I've been working part-time as a document server for a couple of law firms in hopes that once I graduate and start applying to law school I can get a recommendation… Can you believe this shit?

You have no idea how badly I miss compulsion.

Anyway – I'm sick of watching Katherine's kitten-round eyes absorbing Elena's expensive décor and her priceless family, so I've left her to sulk on the couch while Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline discuss non-psycho girl things around the dining table.

Jeremy was there to keep her company… surely she and I are doing better than Jeremy and Bonnie Gilbert – right? Maybe he'll tell her about the piss-pour salary he makes as an art teacher in Mystic Falls and how expensive kids are and Katherine will get to feeling better about our entire situation, not just the lack of money.

I guess Katherine chose the wrong Salvatore.

Stepping out onto the cedar deck – only rich fuckers have cedar decks – I spot Princess Allie asleep on the hammock and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm a little envious of the kids too. Thankfully, my brother's distant voice breaks my wandering mind before I can wallow in the fact that Katherine and I have spent two full years trying _unsuccessfully_ to get pregnant.

I'm not a yeller – instead, I shrug and smirk and turn my palms up to say _what _in response to Stefan calling for me from the white sand. He's been trying to worm away from Klaus for most of the day, but I'm enjoying watching him squirm and Elena is too wrapped up in her high school friends to notice.

Stefan slumps, brooding at me from fifty yards away, with Klaus moving the tables and chairs into place. We stand that way for a long moment – me on the rich-fucker cedar deck and Stefan in the rich-guy white sand – staring one another down, before I finally break into a smile and start down the few stairs to go play interference for my baby bro.

-STEFAN-

If I've got to pick one to hang out with, I pick Klaus over Katherine and Damon every time. Damon alone, he'd be my first choice, but I can't be around Katherine.

You probably think it's ridiculous that I can be friendly with Klaus – joking around and giving him a hard time about being so attentive to Caroline (seriously, he's as whipped as I am). I guess I feel like Klaus paid his dues – he did his time. Katherine on the other hand… like always she made out smelling like roses.

She doesn't deserve to be part of this life.

"When did you become such a douche?" Damon asks, sipping his beer and watching Klaus and I position the row of tables. "A clambake? Really?"

His attitude and his full-on resistance to even offer to help with the manual work makes me smile, glad my brother is the same ol' sarcastic ass he's always been.

I shrug, wiping sand from my hands, standing straight and stretching my back. "Elena and Caroline's idea." My human muscles sound like popping fabric threads as I twist from side to side.

"Caroline has been talking about having a clambake since Elena invited us." Klaus adds, tossing me my bottle of water and retrieving his beer. "I suggest you go with it." He teases Damon and I laugh, imagining the fit Caroline would throw if something got in the way of the dinner.

"Not all of us care about Caroline's temper tantrums, Nikki."

Nikki – Damon has called him that a few times today. I don't know what kind of history there is behind that, but every time Damon jabs at Klaus with the nickname I see a flare of anger in Klaus' eyes.

I give Damon a stern look, a quick shake of my head. Hope he gets my look of _stop fucking with him._

Luckily, Klaus seems to let it roll off of his shoulders – leaning against the wooden tables for a quick rest, he just gives a short chuckle while looking towards the house. "Then I have to figure that's only because you've never been on the receiving end."

I laugh, once again thankful that all of this hasn't changed Caroline either. She may be annoying at times, a bit tactless, very loose lipped – but Caroline is perfect the way she is.

Damon must have understood my glare as he leaves the subject alone – instead he begins bugging me about why I'm not drinking.

I don't want to talk about it – my fears are groundless, that's what Elena says, atleast – so I make up some excuse about being dehydrated from running this morning and change the subject by trying to excuse myself. "We've done all we can do. I'm going to go get Elena and have her put the table settings together."

"Stefan Salvatore can't decorate for a clambake? I'm shocked." Damon ribs me, kicking some sand towards me.

"I'll go." Klaus offers, chugging the last bit of his beer. "I need another, anyhow."

Damon and I watch him go – I don't know why we both wait for Klaus to get a distance away before we speak.

"Who invited him?"

"Stop, Damon." I raise my hand to him. "Seriously. Don't start anything with him."

With a heavy sigh and a roll of his eyes, Damon groans, "You've got to be kidding me! All's forgiven?"

Forcing my thoughts to stay in my mind and not form into audible words, I wonder why he thinks I shouldn't forgive Klaus but accept Katherine without blinking! I just shrug – having trouble holding my tongue. I take a large drink of the warm water and pretend to be inspecting one of the wooden table legs in attempt to distract myself.

"Oh wait, I get it. It's because of Caroline." Damon stretches out her name, breaking the three syllabuls into a sing-song melody. "Didn't you get enough of her when Elena was loony? Or is you're married sex-life getting boring already, brother."

"Shut up, Damon." I try to sound light about it, but I do not want to open this gate. Give Damon an inch and he takes a mile – if I allow him to start down this road of talking about our sex-life, it's going to end in blows.

"Alright. Alright." Damon holds his hand up very dramatically, "I get it, you don't want to talk about it." Maybe five second of silence and Damon seems to think that was a long enough pause. "Let me give you some advice, baby bro."

"I don't want your advice, Damon." I sigh, starting off towards the garage to get the tiki torches Elena bought especially for the clambake.

"Spice it up, Stefan!" Damon calls behind me. "With a woman like Elena you've got to keep her interested or she's going to start shopping for a back up." When the muscles in my arms start to tense, tingle in anticipation, I start taking wider strides as I walk. It takes every ounce of control I have to pretend I don't hear him when he shouts, "Let her know I'm available!"

He hasn't changed at all. Dick.

-CAROLINE-

"I'm going to try." Elena smiles, adjusting Grayson in her lap as he does his best to pick up the cheerios she's placed on the table for him. He's adorable. Little G', that's what Damon called him and I think it's a perfect nickname – Little G' is a Gilbert, dark eyes, dark hair, huge smile. "We've talked about moving back before, but never really had time to hash it out, you know?"

"You've got to move back, Elena!" Bonnie squeals, brushing her hand down Grayson's soft baby hair.

"You've got three months." I don't know why I always fall into this role, commanding and demanding and making deadlines, but it's just easy and natural… it's how we've always been. I make my demands and Elena and Bonnie either do their best to meet my request or they ignore it all together. "Thanksgiving weekend is officially our wedding date!"

"I thought you were already married?" Katherine's voice startles us as she hasn't said anything in half an hour.

"We are, but we couldn't decide between a weekend away to elope or a huge wedding, so we're doing both!" My voice is nearly a coo, bragging a little at my good fortune, my epic love. "Klaus wants me to have everything I can dream of." I think Katherine is about to respond, but Klaus comes in from the deck and she immediately sinks into the couch… her odd behavior making more sense now that I realize that Klaus has been chasing her for 500 years and I doubt she's able to befriend very easily. "Speak of the devil!" I smile at him, the moment our eyes meet his lips curl into a prideful grin.

I stand to kiss him.

And kiss him…

I think they've all looked away by the time our mouths break away from each other. It wasn't overtly passionate, so I don't know why they're all acting like children about it.

"Darling, Stefan asked that I retrieve Elena to put out the décor' but I know how you love to handle these kinds of things." Kiss on my nose, "Head out and help him would you? I'm going to get another beer then I'll be out."

I nod, kiss his cheek – his scratchy beard feels ticklish against my lips. He holds my hand as he walks away – our arms extending completely before our fingers loose grip.

I watch him go, the swagger of a man who is confident in every aspect of his life… God, I love that guy.

When I turn back to Elena and Bonnie, they're both gaping at me – I just ignore them. They're going to have to get used to Klaus not being the evil villain, the big bad.

He's big alright – hehe – and maybe a little naughty, but Klaus is not evil. He's my soulmate. Klaus is not the vampire they all know. He's a wonderful, amazing man… intelligent and artistic with a brilliant mind. My hands move to my stomach when I think of how he's going to look holding our baby – bleached blue eyes looking into bleach blue eyes.

I realize my belly touching is probably weird seeing as how no one knows I'm pregnant, and try to play it off my straightening the fabric of my teal halter-top as I turn in my place and head out to help Stefan, smiling at how Klaus has helped find me a few minutes alone with him to tell him the news!

-ELENA-

When Caroline leaves and Klaus follows her out soon after, the atmosphere of the room seems to change the moment he steps out of the living room. Katherine get up – nonchalantly walking around in a pair of cut off jean shorts and a red bikini top, looking at pictures on the wall, running her fingers over the wood of the furniture.

"So I haven't been doing so great on my diet… does anyone know if clams are terribly fattening?" Bonnie groans, slouching back on the leather dining chair and rubbing her stomach with both hands. From what I can see, Bonnie is as small if not smaller than she was before the twins – I don't know what she's talking about! Diet?!

"They aren't bad." Katherine answers, "And really neither are Bloody Mary's" Taking a seat in front of me, she taps her fingernail against my wine glass. "But there are as many calories in a glass of wine as in a soda."

I'm suddenly self-conscious; my confidence fading away as I do some quick math and realize I've drank in nearly 500 calories… not counting the amazing breakfast Stefan made or the take-out lunch. I know it's all mental, but I think I actually feel my shorts fitting more snug around my growing waist line.

Damon and Klaus come in through the door and I cross my arms over my belly – belly, that's the appropriate word, not stomach or tummy… I have a belly.

With Klaus back, I expect Katherine to close up again, but she continues. "Stick with clear liquors, Elena. It'll help you save on the calories – get you back down to your old weight."

Bonnie interjects, "She looks amazing, Katherine – what are you talking about?"

Katherine's response happens to match my thoughts exactly, "You're just saying that because you're her friend. You expect me to be honest with you, right Elena?" I nod. Sure. Why not? Tell me I'm fat… no one knows what my body should look like more than my doppelganger. "You've still got ten or fifteen pounds to go."

Damon, Bonnie, and even Klaus all scoff aloud at the same time. Like it's ridiculous! It's not… she's right. I push my half full glass of wine away a bit, feel my belly growing even as I sink smaller and smaller in the room.

"No way, Kat." Bonnie frowns, looking me over like I'm a piece of wall art she's considering. "You two are the same size!"

I half expect Katherine to look offended about that, but she just purses her lips together and frowns at me – shaking her head no in an apologetic way.

I can't stand to be in this room any longer – I can feel the heat radiating from my reddened face, a full on flush turning my cheeks red. Starting out to the deck to find Stefan, Damon tells me he's in the garage and I have to stop in stride, turn around, and my exit becomes a big ordeal.

I can feel everyone's eyes on me – watching my extra ten to fifteen pounds wiggle as I walk. You have no idea how happy I am to finally get to the kitchen – out of their sight – I beeline through the laundry room, and force a smile to my face as I open the door to the garage.

My heart hits the floor. I think I hear it actually *thunk* against it…

Stefan is leaning back against his SUV, his hands holding Caroline's face in the gentle way that he does, their foreheads pressed against one another… but what makes their intimate embrace and close stance seem wrong, ominous, is the quick break away when they hear me open the door. The high pitched _Elena_ that slips from Caroline's mouth as she straightens up her teeny-tiny shirt around her waist.

I want to scream. I want to throw something at them. I want to cry and accuse and ask what in the hell is going on here…

Instead. I smile. "Um, Klaus is looking for you two." I say through gritted teeth, then quickly shut the door and leave my husband to return to his embrace with Caroline… his beautiful, sunny, optimistic ex-girlfriend.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – The Reaping

-Stefan-

I'm bent at the waist with my weight pushing through my extended arms – hands flat against the fender of my truck when Caroline's voice catches me off guard, a quiet "Hey" – I wasn't expecting anyone to follow me into the garage through the bay door as last headcount, everyone was in the house minus Damon. He knows me well enough to leave me alone for a bit – after his comment about being available for Elena should she be bored with me, I need a minute.

I know he's just jabbing at me because he's my older brother and because he knows how to push my buttons, just as he knows when he's treading on crossing the line and turning a bit of heckling into something real. Something that he and I can only settle with a few punches and a little Salvatore blood shed.

Caroline stops just inside the garage and asks, "Hiding out?"

Standing straight, I turn to her – a smile on my face just from having her around. Caroline and I began our friendship soon after Katherine turned her, but she became my best friend the instant she gave up the love of her life to save Elena, the love of mine. In the four years that Elena and I were apart, Caroline kept me going. She held me to the line and she pushed me to stay the course, helped me when I fell off my diet, and never… not once, did she ridicule me for holding on to what I had with Elena.

There are many things about Caroline that make me care for her like she's my sister; she's easy to be happy around, she lets me be pissed off when I want to be, knows how to keep me from going off the rails when I'm getting close to losing it – but most of all, Caroline understands what it feels like to love someone the way I love Elena.

I've said it to Elena before, but I don't think even _she_ knows what it's like to be devoted to someone no matter what – with them, without them, whether the love is returned or not. It's a never-ending, unbreakable piety that I have for Elena. It's more than love – I can't explain it. There is nothing she could do, or say, and nothing that the universe could inflict upon me to make me give up on us. You can't love someone the way I do Elena and not have that love invaded into your bone marrow.

There aren't words to describe it… but Caroline understands because she's got a similar type of connection with Klaus.

We stand that way for a long moment – just smiling at one another. I'm replaying some of the worst times that we had during our four years, banished from this world, these people. I remember her crying, missing her mother. I see her sick with grief over Klaus – literally unable to stand, doubled over on the floor of her bedroom on the year anniversary of the night we took him down.

Caroline's smile turns into a slight grimace, her eyes wet with tears and she takes two quick steps into the garage and into my embrace, whimpering out, "I'm so sorry, Stefan." as her face lays against my shoulder. I'm about to ask her what she's talking about – why she's apologizing, but she continues before I speak, "Because of me you almost didn't have any of this. You almost lost Elena and Allie! You would have never of had Grayson! I was so selfish – making that deal with Elijah. I nearly ruined yours and Elena's lives!"

I don't say anything in response – just hug her tightly, my arms snuggly around hers, her hands on my sides. She's apologized before, many times. I don't know why she feels the need to apologize again as I've told her over and over that it doesn't matter – she did nothing wrong. Caroline didn't mean for me to get harmed – how could she have known that Lindsey and Gia, the witches that helped me take down Klaus had set up a fail proof plan of turning me human? By the time I made my situation known to Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie, she'd already agreed to the deal with The Originals. It didn't matter then, it doesn't matter now.

I've spent a lot of time in the last few years thinking – when I run, I think. When I'm nearly asleep, I think. Rocking Grayson or sitting up with a feverish Allie dozing in my arms – I drift off into my own mind and spend a lot of that time reflecting on how everything went so wrong, so quickly. From the beginning… the tomb vampires, Katherine, Elijah, Klaus, the Originals' after revenge; for years we were under constant attack from every angle and nearly every time our _big plan_ was a huge failure.

What I've come to find, after all of my reflection and inspection of the play-by-play in the 20/20 point of view one has once everything is said and done, is that we failed time and time again because we each had a pawn in the game – someone to keep safe, somehow believing that our loved ones would make it out of our mess unharmed if only we could keep them in the dark. We worked together in a marginal sense, all the while keeping our own agenda in the forefront. It's how Vicki Donovan, Lexi, Jenna, and Matt all ended up dead. It's why Caroline was turned and how I found myself human and asphyxiating in my own blood in Rome. What happened to me, to Elena, as a result of Caroline working with The Original's, it was just collateral damage. How could I hold it against Caroline when I've got a multitude of unintended victims of my own?

Stepping back just a bit, Caroline wipes at her teary face and gives me a roll of her eyes, saying in a laugh, "Oh gosh will you look at me! Bawling!"

I laugh with her, put my hand to the side of her face. "It's kind of overwhelming, isn't it?"

Nodding her head, a few more tears pool in her smiling eyes, now tears of happiness I imagine. "I'm probably over-emotional." Caroline moves against me again, her head on my shoulder. "I just keep thinking of those times when we'd get drunk and try to figure out what everyone was doing with us away, remember?"

I do. I remember that. Our game of making up scenarios of their lives – always Elena for me, sometimes Damon and Katherine. Caroline would go into these crazy stories involving everyone she was missing – Elena, Bonnie, her mother, Matt, Jeremy, and Tyler… some others from high school that I'd never met or couldn't remember well enough to picture. We spend hours drinking whatever alcohol was around, listening to music, and daydreaming about the life we'd never be a part of. It was a way for us to get through the deep desolation of our lonely lives.

Comfortable hugging her, my best friend, I'm sending a silent thank you into the universe for allowing us to find our way back to this world, for letting Caroline and Klaus have a real chance, and for every single moment that I get with Elena and our children, when Caroline moves back to look at me and says. "I think all the emotions will get easier in the second trimester."

The words move into my ears and I'm smiling like an idiot – huge and wide – before my mind can form a response, before I can really grasp what she's telling me.

"I'm going to need you guys to move back to the states, Stef." Caroline grins, her voice cheery and excited though she playing it off the best she can, her hands pressing against her flat stomach. "We have no idea how to raise a kid and Klaus is so nervous – he's already read like ten books about pregnancy and nutrition and what to expect."

"What?" It's all I can get out, smiling, laughing – just so authentically happy for her and imagining Elena's reaction when she finds out – I can't wait to see that bright, beautiful smile on her face.

"Nine weeks." She sighs, the tears threatening to start again and making it difficult for her to speak. "I – I just never thought this could happen. I almost can't believe it. I'm so happy and terrified at the same time." I think she's about to cry again, a wave of fear passes through her eyes, and I take hold of her face to make her look at me. "I'm going to be a terrible mother, aren't I?"

It's probably not the best time, but I chuckle – Caroline a terrible mother sounds like a joke to me! She's sweet and she's caring and she's loyal to a fault. "You're kidding right?" She starts to look away again – telling me she's not kidding and I need to cut out the laughing – so I press my lips together to straighten up my face and bring her frustrated eyes back to mine. "Caroline, out of every woman in the world fit to be a mother, you're one of the top two." Rolling her eyes again, this time more of an _oh shucks_ kind of way. "You have nothing to worry about – You - are going to be an _amazing_ mother, okay?" She nods, rests her forehead against mine.

Then the door opens and I feel that vibration from Elena that I always get when she's near – but right now it's heavy and sharp, and honestly, a little painful – almost as painful as the look in her eyes that I see when I drop my hands from Caroline's face and turn to my wife.

"Elena!" Caroline says in a quick, surprised, could-be-confused-for-guilt pitch as she jumps away from me.

"Um," Elena's eyes burn into me and I know what she's thinking, what she _thinks_ she's seeing. When she gets upset like this, angry with me or suspicious, it's like her body is sending out hundreds of invisible, pin-prickling needles against my skin – I can actually _feel_ her hostility. "Klaus is looking for you two." She says, shutting the door before she even finishes the last word of her sentence.

I can't look away from the shut door, my mind trying to assess the wreckage, imagine what that must have looked like from Elena's view, and figuring out a plan of damage control at the same time. Caroline presses a heavy sigh through tight lips, puffing out her cheeks and looking at me with a fearful apology on her face.

-Elena-

I make it to my bedroom without making eye-contact with anyone. Purposely moving in the sort of speed that says _this is casual, I just need to go to my room for a moment, no one think anything of it – everything is fine_. I even force a smile towards them as I look their way but not at anyone really, my line of sight staying just above their heads – all of their eyes on me. Damon was leaning against the open window frame, drinking as usual. Klaus stopped mid-motion, thumbing on his Ipad – reading I assume. Bonnie is still at the table with the twins, and Jeremy was holding Grayson while talking with Katherine… everyone frozen, looking at me like they were waiting for me to break out into song and dance.

Surely what I saw was innocent – right? Stefan and his gentle hands with those faded scars on the knuckles and callused fingers; He'd never…

She'd never. Caroline wouldn't cross me. She wouldn't cross Klaus!

But the embrace in the garage paired with Caroline's greeting to Stefan this morning – the hopping on his back and leaving kisses all over his face – I'm doing all I can to remember that they love each other like siblings. The way I love Jeremy. If I hadn't seen him in years, I'd probably do the same thing to my brother… but why sneak off into the garage to have a private conversation and stand much too close and hold each other much too softly?

_No, Elena_ I tell myself. _This is your own insecurities and nothing more._

Ten to fifteen pounds of insecurities.

After making it into my room, closing the door behind me, I'm standing motionless in the walk-in closet as it's the only place I can actually get some privacy. Unless it's storming, Stefan likes to have every window in the house open – all the exterior walls are French doors with split-top, barn style windows leading out to the wrap around porch that sold the house when he was looking for my dream home in preparation of the unlikely event of me making it through the ritual to wake Klaus. It's a big change from when he was a vampire – how he'd keep himself closed up, often preferring to be alone, or with just me at least. Human Stefan, much like he was during the four months after Naples, he's so much lighter… he smiles easier, sleeps deeper. He holds nothing back. When he wants to laugh, he laughs. When he wants to kiss me, he kisses me… when I would let him, at least.

Now it's me, hunkered down and hiding a part of myself. I know. I really do know that I'm making more out of this, my body insecurities, than I should be. Sometimes, I'll look at myself in the mirror and think, _hey, that's not so bad. I recognize that girl._ But times like now, looking at my reflection staring back at me from the full length mirror, I'm just disgusted.

Ten to fifteen pounds… I have to know if that's right. Hell, it could be more, I don't know. I've never been one to obsess about my weight or my body, so long as I felt good, felt comfortable in my own skin. I honestly don't really know how much my _goal_ weight should be! That's what they talk about on the 'lose the pregnancy weight' – 'get back to your pre-mommy body' websites - you're goal weight.

I take a quick look at the scale that Stefan bought when I got pregnant with Grayson to make sure I was gaining enough weight – can you believe that, he was afraid I'd not gain enough! Well, I showed him, huh? I think I went more than a month right in the middle of my pregnancy where all I wanted to eat was Stefan's chicken parm and Ben-n-Jerry's Chocolate Cheesecake Brownie!

I'm trying to remember the last time I weighed before Grayson and honestly cannot come up with anything. But I need a baseline and decide to grab my journal from last year and look for my first OB appointment – I know I wrote my stats in there.

I don't sit, just open the leather-bound book on top of Stefan's desk and quickly flip through to summer, last year – near the end of July. I was already six weeks pregnant, but it's the best I can do.

_July 21__st__ – 6wks & 3 days approx.  
Dr. Nguyen says everything looks good. C-section with Allie looks to be totally healed up and he doesn't expect any problems. We got to see #2, that's what we're calling the baby until we learn the sex. The ultrasound was just a bunch of grey and white and black swooshes and a teeny-tiny lima-bean of a baby, but there it was, #2. I don't know if Stefan knew what we were looking at, seeing as how this was his first ultrasound, but the heartbeat of #2 pounded out into the room like a marching band and Stefan's green eyes lit up like a spring leaf – full of life, glittering with tears, a huge, proud smile on his face. _

_I'm tempted to continue to grow our family – maybe ten kids! - just to get to see that adoring look on Stefan's face!_

_Anyway, I got the same ol' speech – lay off the coffee (booh), five or six small meals a day to help with the morning sickness, continue to stay active, of course no alcohol or sushi. I'm 123.5 pounds –_

That's all I read. Closing the book, but leaving it on the desk, I bee-line back to the closet and pull out the ol' dusty scale that I haven't used since the night before I went in to have Grayson – me, five foot-five at 154lbs and my nine pound baby Salvatore that happens to look just like a Gilbert, less the big hands. My dad, Grayson, Jeremy… my father, John – they had medium hands. Stefan has big hands. Hands that hold my small ones like a blanket, protective, soft, enveloping it whole. Hands with talent beyond belief – he can write, he can build, he can take things apart and put them back in better shape and without missing a single thing… hands that hold the face of his best friend in the garage. UGH

Giving my head a quick shake to rid myself of my nonsense thoughts about Stefan and Caroline – it was innocent. It was innocent. It was innocent. – I do a quick calculation, a guess-timation really. I'm able to wear pretty much everything in my closet, less one very sexy, snug, silk wrap dress that I've been too scared to try on since it's Stefan's favorite and I don't want to look like a busted can of biscuits in it. But I'm not quite as toned in my thighs and my tummy still seems too loose, my rear end a bit thicker than I like – and then with Katherine's prediction of ten to fifteen pounds, I figure I'm probably 133. 133 is less than her estimate and sounds like an okay number for a twenty-six year old mother of two… a quiet voice in the back of my mind whispers _unless you happen to be married to a Greek God – _Which I am, by the way. Stefan's body hasn't changed a bit.

Scratch that, yes it has.

The deep V of his torso has grown more pronounced as his shoulder muscles have grown bigger. The shadowy tones down his back are even sexier as he's kept up his daily running and workout even though he has no more cravings to burn off. Stefan, as we all know, has an addictive personality and he's a creature of habit. If he works out a couple of times in a week, he'll probably be doing the same thing, but in greater difficulty as he does love a challenge, in a month. Once he commits to doing something, he does it. He's dedicated like that.

So yea. 133 will be okay. I can do 133... but maybe I'll start running with Stefan in the mornings – I used to run, right? Way back when Alaric was helping me train in order to protect myself from Klaus, and Stefan too, I guess, I ran. And maybe I'll stop drinking. Stefan has maybe a beer or two in a week – I think Bonnie, Caroline, and I have killed at least six bottles of wine today alone and it's not yet dusk!

Stepping onto the scale, I smirk and say outloud, "Stick to the clear liquors, Elena" in a mocking, whiney tone as I hear Katherine's voice in my head, tapping my wine glass with her black polished nails.

…waiting…

*knock-knock-knock* "Elena'r"

Klaus.

That's how he says my name when he's _not_ about to kill me - with an 'er' sound added to the end – otherwise he drags out the syllables in a playful, breathy tone like if you were antagonizing a sandwich you were about to eat – _hellooo ham-burrr-ger._

I almost freak out – my heart begins to beat too hard, I feel my palms sweat a bit – but then I look down between my newly manicured toes and see the block numbers that make me grin. 125.0 lbs

"Elena'r, may I speak with you a moment?" Klaus calls through the door, rapping lightly against it a few more times.

Suddenly calm, suddenly feeling quite confident, I say "Sure, come in" – those are the first words I've said to Klaus since we partied in Naples like friends, all the while knowing he was going to die.

We both step into the bedroom at the same time, and if I'm reading him right, he looks nervous.

When someone spends a lot of time hunting you, you begin to pay attention to the small inflections of their voice, the way they stand, how they hold their mouth, what makes them look away and break eye contact – I'd say I know Klaus about as well as anyone other than Caroline could. The line between being in love with someone and being terrified by them is so very, very thin. Sometimes the two even touch, overlap – like when Stefan wasn't the Stefan I knew and I feared him, I still loved him… maybe I even grew to love him more.

"I hope I'm not bothering you." Klaus begins, his hands deep in the pockets of his shorts, eyes never finding my face as he pretends to look over the bedroom. "I've been meaning to tell you, you and Stefan have a beautiful home and Caroline and I," he pauses, glances at my face, "especially me – we feel quite blessed to have been invited."

I smile a nervous, tight jaw smile. "Thank you."

We stand that way a bit, both of us uneasy, I think. Finally, after a long moment of silence, Klaus gives a light sigh, "I may as well get on with it, I imagine, no use in dawdling." He steps towards me – Its instinctual for me to step back from Klaus when he advances. He notices, frowns at my response. "I want to apologize to you, Elena'r. I've apologized to Stefan – when we retrieved lunch. But he made it clear that his forgiveness lies with you. I had figured that already, with just how crazy my old friend is about you, but I'd planned on expressing my regret to you, either way – as you are the one who lost the most by my moody behavior."

"Moody?" I ask, almost in a sarcastic chuckle, pulling my hair back into a high ponytail in a way to keep my nervous hands busy.

It's another thing Stefan and Klaus have in common, the way they use words to flip a situation in their favor – their talented vocabulary.

Klaus smiles at my amusement and I remember something Caroline had told me in Wilmington about his smile. At the time it made no sense seeing as how my memories of Klaus, the man in love with Caroline, were erased and all I could remember was Klaus, the big-bad – but here, with all of my brain intact and Klaus doing his best to apologize to me for something that cannot be apologized for, I see what she means… Klaus does have a charming smile. "Moody, appalling, shameful. Pick the adjective of condemnation and it will fit." He says lightly through that smile. "It was difficult to be alone. For eternity. An abomination like no other. It does not make right any of the things that I've done, but looking back on it, I now wish that I would've chosen differently. On many occasions. I deserved my bit of detention – a little solitude to reconsider my actions, however, I want you to know that I would not've allowed Kol to -"

This time I look away. Sometimes I can see Kol's light-less eyes and hear the jingling of his belt and I wake up barely able to breathe and searching for Stefan to save me. Those nights I can only find rest when nearly every inch of my body is against him like a security blanket… Even my toes have to be on his skin.

" – such actions, they are deserving of death, Elena'r."

That is the best apology one can expect from Klaus. There will be no groveling, no tears, and definitely no actual mentions of the things that he did to me and my family and friends – but because I now have all of my memories, and because of the stories Stefan has told me about the Klaus he befriended in the 20's, I'm well-aware of how difficult this apology must be for him and I accept with a gentle nod.

Lowering his gaze like a child, Klaus returns my nod and goes to leave, nearly to the door when he stops and faces me again. "May I offer you a bit of advice?"

Wearily, I say, "Sure."

"You are a beautiful woman, Elena'r." Usually confident, I'm surprised by the uneasiness in his voice – the tables have surely turned if I now make Klaus nervous. "But we all have weaknesses, no matter how ludicrous they may be – but, you should be careful with who you share your weaknesses with. Some people," Katherine, I assume. "They just cannot wait to use them against you." Much later on in the evening it hits me that he may be speaking about Stefan using his family as ransom so many years ago..

I don't have time to respond, as Bonnie and Caroline slip past him – Bonnie giving me a big-eyed _what's he doing in here_ look and Caroline nuzzling into his embrace with a concerned expression on her face.

"Hey you," Bonnie's voice is too light – obviously she thinks she's helping me to get out of an awkward situation. Taking a seat on my unmade bed, she asks, "Did you ever find those pictures of us from grade school that I asked about? I've got to start on that family tree project when I get back home."

Dang it. I'd totally forgot that I was supposed to go through my moms things for her – with Abby disappearing and her father never remarrying, Bonnie doesn't have a whole lot of childhood pictures. My mom, on the other hand, may as well have been a freelance photographer, the way she was constantly snapping pictures of us. "Sorry." I say through a half frown, half forgive-me-smile as Klaus kisses Caroline's forehead and leaves with a, 'I'll let you girls be' whisper against her ear.

"Elena!" Bonnie groans, laying back on my bed – her hair fanning out onto Stefan's side.

"I know. I know!" I laugh, pulling of the blue chiffon top that was doing a great job covering me up and making me itch at the same time. I'm basically the same weight I was when I got pregnant – when I felt like a goddess and Stefan, my Roman sculpture of a husband, couldn't keep his hands off of me. I can be that way again… he hasn't changed, the way he wants me, the way he looks at me like I'm causing his heartrate to go into overdrive. It's been me and my body-issues, my low self-esteem that's been holding us up. In every other aspect, our relationship has never been better! I can fix this and I will, starting now. "Let's go to the attic and we can go through my mom's boxes."

Bonnie hops off of the bed, trailing behind me after I grab a very thin, tight, almost transparent grey cotton tank-top that stops just above my navel – I remember Stefan's eyes glued to my body when I wore it, his fingers always finding their way to grazing against my bare midriff.

I've slipped it on, stepped out into the hallway, and see Stefan on his cell when I notice Caroline is still in my room – unsure if she's invited, unsure if I'm angry. Talking and pacing like he does when he's on the phone, Stefan stops in mid-stride, mid-sentence even, "Yea, Pepper, that's gr-", when our eyes meet and I smile confidently, standing straight with a slight curve to my back so that my rear end sticks out a bit. He looks me over quickly. I can still feel his emerald eyes on me – like a tangible force, even after all of these years together – and when he gives me his hungry, the-things-I-could-do-to-you half smile, I toss my hair over my shoulders as I fight off a shudder from the gravity that's edging up its intensity and call to Caroline. "Come on, you can help us go through the boxes, Car."

Of course the garage thing was innocent…

-Stefan-

I forget what Pepper was saying, nearly hang up the phone and go to Elena without even telling one of our dearest friends, and Elena's boss's wife, goodbye – but Bonnie and Caroline follow her out of our bedroom and to the garage as I watch her walk by and feel like some rabid animal in heat, my chest tightening by the gravity between us and a playful look at me over her shoulder as she walks out of my sight.

She turns it on and off like a switch, the sexiness – but even when she's just being cute Elena, I want to touch her and kiss her and hold her against me. Still, I have to say, the mischievous look in her eyes and the way she moved her hips as she paraded by me with her friends in tow – damn, that was nice to see again. I've missed her confidence – seeing her unsure about her body reminds me too much of when she was compelled and unsure about me, us…

Finally, Pepper finishes up what she was saying – something about a book, I think – and I give her my best, ask her to tell Robert hello for me, then we finally hang up. Like most of the day, Klaus is close by, waiting on me.

"Where are they going?"

He shrugs, nursing at a bottle of beer, "Look through some boxes for pictures of the witch, I believe."

"Bonnie." I correct him, grasping his shoulder. "Her name is Bonnie."

The house is basically empty, but I can see Lola's wild curls sitting on the deck next to Grayson in his bouncy-seat, Liam playing with a hot wheel next to them, and Jeremy standing just almost out of view, laughing. Allie's little voice is easy for me to pick up even though I can't see her – awake from her nap and now playing with Damon in the back –she's squealing and giggling and he's making Godzilla sounds.

In order to segway into a lighter topic – Klaus carries a little animosity towards Bonnie, towards all witches, actually – I release my hold on him and go the pantry, saying, "that's one thing Allie never gets tired of, being chased." as I retrieve the clams.

"And she never will, she is a woman after all." Klaus laughs, sitting at one of the barstools. "Coy little things." I don't really like to agree with Klaus – especially when it comes to our views on women – so I just nod, filling the sink with cool water to let the clams breathe out the salt water and sand. After a moment, Klaus' tone is more serious when he says, "I spoke with Elena."

I know. I was headed in to try and explain Caroline and me in the garage when my phone rang and Klaus walked into our bedroom. I stayed close. I know it's ridiculous… but it's become habit. Keeping Elena safe. Watching out for Klaus' next attack.

My neck is starting to tense from the thoughts of Klaus and the Originals, the times I've failed at protecting my wife, so I respond in monotone. "And I spoke with Caroline."

Without looking at him I feel Klaus swell up – prideful the way a man gets when the word begins to spread to the masses of his great fortune, fulfilling the only real requirement of being a man – create life. My dad's voice hits me like a ton of bricks. I can almost feel the warmth of the fireplace in his office, smell the whiskey in the air… _Find a woman, boys. Love her until you can love no more. Never stray, keep true to your vows, and most of all, create a family. Create life to bring joy into the world and carry on our name, my sons._

My father wasn't always a bigot. At one time he was just a kid, in love with my mother and the father of two boys who looked up at him like he was their hero. Then my mom died, and Damon chose a rebellious road, the war came to our doorstep, and vampires broke us into irreparable pieces. With his teachings of music, great literature, history… he taught me to be the man I am, while Lexi taught me to be the vampire I was always trying to be.

Thinking about him, thinking about Lexi, my mother – it causes my empty stomach to seize and my throat is flushed with acid.

"And?" Klaus' voice breaks my train of thought, thankfully, and I look up to find him staring back at me, his chin up in a way that reminds me of people who have always got what they wanted. "Shouldn't I get a congratulations or a cigar? Surely you have some thought on the matter, with your relationship with Caroline, and all."

I stop my face from showing how I feel, just short of my eyes squinting a bit – _your relationship with Caroline –_ those words held quite a bit more meaning than I think he meant to let show. Cool, confident, Iet-by-gones-be-by-gones Klaus has just slipped on his game.

I remind myself to be more careful regarding my comfort with Caroline for Elena AND Klaus' sake.

"Well," I lean back against the counter, getting enough space between us so I can read him better. "I can't imagine Rebekah is too happy about this."

"Yes. We should probably discuss that, Stefan." Klaus' voice is as calm and easy as ever, but there's something about him that's giving me a bad feeling. "My siblings."

"I need to talk with him first." Katherine saunters into the kitchen, her body swaying with each step, wearing a bikini top and frayed jean shorts.

I'm pretty attentive to detail, but I look away so quickly that I honestly could not tell you what color her top is. I may have got _mistakenly_ caught up in a strange situation with Caroline, but I'm not dumb enough to make that mistake twice in one day.

"Mmm, Katerina." If Klaus could've turned into a snake at that moment, it would have better fit the way he hisses out his greeting to her. I watch his eyes instead of watching her and I'm not sure if he's appreciating her looks or sizing her up.

Ignoring him, Katherine comes to stand next to me – she's been out in the sun and now her warm skin is radiating heat against me. "Can I speak with you," shooting a glare at Klaus, she adds, "in private?"

I must look at Klaus with a pleading face, because he gives me a big grin as he stands, tossing a, "You're on your own, Stefan." as he exits the kitchen.

"What?" I ask quickly, immediately – moving away because of her warmth and the smell of lavender and lemon that I've associated with her for nearly 160 years – grabbing at the red potatoes and white onions that need chopped.

Katherine notices me move away from her and smiles, like she enjoys playing her head games. "Are you ignoring Damon?"

I stop, knife in hand – a quick image of stabbing her passing through my mind before I remember that we can't do that kind of stuff anymore… _humans don't heal_. "What? No. Why?" Back to the onions, I slice one in half and inhale the sting of it to drown out her lavender.

She leans onto her elbows, resting on top of the counter across from me, knowing that if I look up from the chopping board I'll have a perfect view down her chest. "You haven't spent much time with him."

I chop a bit faster, my mind fleeting through a million images that all contain Katherine. My sight intensely focused on the chopping. "We've talked, but he's been attached to you."

Katherine reaches across the counter towards me, picking up a potato and grazing the back of her hand against the back of mine. Her voice playfully light, a nostalgic version of flirting when she says, "I can remember a time when that wasn't such a bad thing. Damon in the morning, Stefan in the night."

Three sentences in and I've already had my fill of her.

I notice that my grip on the knife is growing a bit tighter – my fingertips pressing harshly against the palm of my hand. When I look up at her, I move my gaze so quickly that my eyes never catch sight of anything below her nose… it's just a blur, a lavender and lemon scented, warm, blur.

In a quiet, angry whisper, I speak quickly through a tight, forced smile. "Is this what you want to talk about, really? Something that happened more than a century ago? You don't have anything else going on in your life… nothing more exciting has happened since 1864?" I have to sit the knife down. It makes a loud clattering sound against the granite, "It's not going to happen, Katherine."

Katherine rolls her eyes, pushes herself into a straight stance, returning my angry glare. "Damon needs money." I frown, confused. How could he need money? "He owes taxes on the Salvatore house, can barely afford to pay for his books for school… He's even got his car up for sale." I guess I'm still frowning at her as I try to make sense of what she's saying – Damon has always been loaded. It's like she's read my mind when she adds, "When we turned human, we lost all of our compulsion… so Damon's imaginary money disappeared. Poor little bank teller probably got fired, if not arrested for embezzlement."

Okay. That makes sense. I'd never really thought it through, how Damon had money. I don't know, I guess I'd figured he'd won it playing a compelled game of poker or some other form of gambling. "How much?"

"A lot." She forms the word with her tongue pink tongue flicking from her perfect, white teeth; cherry red lips in the shape of an O – I look away, start chopping again, faster and not as precise as before.

She starts in on how much books cost, $50 for each application to law school, the price of gas, but all I'm thinking is that if I can't get my mind under control, keep my eyes from wandering, I'll stab myself in the hand. That'll do it. Like an electric shock to train an animal – looking at Katherine results in pain. Always has.

She's found her way against me again, picks up a piece of potato that I've chopped, and I hear her bite into it. Katherine stays close while I finish chopping – wordless, warmth, lavender. Finally done, I exhale loudly when I move away, bend at the waist and retrieve a large stock pot from the cabinet. When I stand again, my eyes catch sight of her body, stretched out and inviting – sunkissed skin, curved in the right places. This time I catch sight of her top – it's stripped, red and white.

I ignore her knowing smile and scoop the vegetables into the pot – reaching further than necessary in an obvious attempt at staying as far away from her as possible.

"Stefan?" Her voice is soft, sweet – fingertips moving up my arm, barely touching me but radiating through my muscles.

"I'll talk to him." When she starts to trail her fingertips down my arm, moving her teasing touch back down the way it had traveled, I turn to her – angry with her mind games – "Katherine, I said I'll talk to him."

She's looking up at me through her eyelashes, smiling the way she always does when she wants something – her weapon against me. "Thank you." I think she's finished with her little show as she starts to turn away, but just as I begin to relax Katherine stops and moves back to me – closer than before, just as warm, curls framing her face. When her hand touches my stomach, just above the waist of my jeans, my abdominal muscles tighten to a painful degree and I flinch a bit. "So you don't ever think about us? About the nights we spent together?" Leaning into my chest, I feel her lips against my collar bone when she says, "How wet you'd get me?"

Then I push her.

Hard.

Her little, human body slams up against the wall and for the life of me she looks turned-on, thrilled by my advance when I loom over her and beg myself not to kill her for trying to ruin me and Elena. She gives a giggle, a soft sigh of my name, looking up at me with those same mischievous eyes.

I lick my lips, almost surprised when I don't feel sharp fangs protruded from my top teeth, "I never. think of us, Katherine. But I think of you." One of her curls is hanging down into her face, so I take it between my thumb and forefinger, gently set it back in place. "I think about the many times I should have killed you, and how you've never paid for what you did to Damon and me." Her eyes are losing that playful look, her head turning to the side a bit. "Do yourself a favor, Katherine, and leave me alone before I make good on all the shit you've put me through."

Swallowing hard, she attempts to push me away, forgetting she's just a little human girl with little human strength… she's no more powerful than Elena, and though I've never tested it, I know I am much stronger than her, than both of them. Trying to sound confident, her tone comes off a little scared when she says, "You won't hurt me, Stefan."

I step back, nodding, kneading my fingers together - a little shocked by the truth that comes out of my mouth when I say, "No, I wouldn't hurt you, Katherine. I would kill you."

When her eyes widen and she stands straight, I know Katherine understands. I'm not bluffing. I'd love to tell you that the desire to annihilate, to murder, that it was all part of me becoming a vampire. My life would be much easier if that were the case… I probably could've enjoyed the years I spent as a vampire if I wouldn't have relished in the killing so much –If I wouldn't have known that deep down, beneath the morality my mother taught me and the sense of right and wrong that I learned from my father, was a desire to truly punish those who'd done me wrong. I can remember the fleeting thought of beating Thomas Sellers, a boy in the class below Damon, to a bloody pulp when he stole Damon's girlfriend while Damon was in training for the Army. Katherine takes off in quick, wide strides, her bare feet pounding against the floor while my minds eye pictures when I nearly drew a rifle on a banker sent out to collect a debt from my father after a particularly rough winter that had slowed the logging.

I've always had this temper… a sudden urge to destroy. Being a vampire just gave me an excuse to enjoy it.

I hear Klaus' amused chuckle though I'm standing with my eyes on the floor and head down, a bit ashamed by my outburst, a bit frightened by it, and very angry with Katherine. I'm trying to get myself under control when I feel him slap me on the back, grabbing my shoulder like he does when he's proud of me, or feels particularly close to me at the moment. "Nice job. Passing _that_ up takes some kind of a man." I give a half laugh, shaking my head in frustration just as I hear Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie coming in from the garage.

****MORE TO COME****

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	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – The Reaping**

-Elena-

Just like me, my mom started writing when she was a girl. I've meant to go through her journal to learn about her as a teenager and a young woman, but I've just not found the time… or maybe I'm afraid it'll make me miss her even worse than I do.

Caroline is using her Iphone to take pictures of the pictures that we've found so far, while Bonnie and I flip through the journals. I like how my mom stashed related photographs in with her journal entries – it makes her memories seem so real, easily imagined, like I'm living them with her.

"Awe, listen to this!" Bonnie sighs through a smile, "Elena came home from school this afternoon with a chip on her shoulder for Caroline. It appears as though the two of them had a falling out over who was going to marry Matt Donovan." Caroline and I laugh at the same time, remembering our big blow up in third grade.

"Didn't we stake it all on who he sat by during lunch that day?" Caroline asks

I nod, still laughing. "And I still say you only won because you're mom packed you a rice krispy treat and all I had was a PB&J."

"You know what they say," Caroline's voice is light as she reaches for another journal from the box, "the way to a mans heart is through his stomach."

"Look at how cute he was!" Bonnie shows me a pic of nine year old Matt Donovan – his pee-wee league football picture – before handing it over to Caroline to capture with her phone.

"We should take all of this downstairs and go through it." Caroline suggests, "This one is from her senior year in high school!"

My mom at eighteen – I bet she was handling the movement into adulthood a lot better than I did. By that time I was heartbroken, playing both sides with the Salvatore brothers, and still a little unsure about whether or not I should keep fighting at all. The idea of giving myself over to Klaus seemed so much easier than to keep fighting – I'd lost so many people by then… but looking at us now, my two best friends laughing about another picture they'd found of us on our way to our first co-ed dance in middle school, I'm so glad that I pushed on. I kept fighting, just like Stefan asked me to when we spent that weekend at the lakehouse – at the time I thought he was being ridiculous, suggesting we might actually make it out.

"Come on." Bonnie's voice pulls me from my thoughts of how we had nearly lost each other, all of us, so many times. "Grab that box."

Shaking my head to get my mind refocused, I smile and do as she says though I'm still quiet by the time we make it back into the kitchen. It's a good thing though, other wise I wouldn't have picked up on Klaus' near-whisper to Stefan as Katherine walked away.

"You're an oak, my friend." That's what Klaus said to him – a wicked smile on his face, watching the three of us pass and giving a quick raise of his eyebrows when he spotted Caroline.

Something is wrong – Stefan's upset, angry maybe? I could feel it radiating between us the moment I stepped into the house – the pushing against my lungs doubled when I locked eyes with Stefan, making my way to the living room with the boxes.

XXXXXXX

_You're an oak._ What does that mean? An oak… Strong? Sturdy?

I've been trying to figure out the relevance of that statement for more than an hour now. I wasn't able to check in with Stefan as Caroline and Bonnie quickly started in on the journals and he and Klaus headed out to check on the fire for the clambake. I'll forget about it, reading through my mom's journals or while laughing at some silly picture of one of us, but then just like a tidal wave I remember the jumping on the back, the kisses to his face, the close stance, the sweet embrace – all set to a soundtrack of Klaus' voice saying _You're an oak, my friend._

"Mommy, look, it's Uncle Jeremy!" Allie giggles. She loves to look at family pictures and she's weaved her way into the girls group pretty easily. "He looks like Grayson!"

"No kidding!" Caroline agrees, showing Allie another picture of Jer. They're sitting cross-legged in the floor while Bonnie is on the couch with a sleeping Liam to one side of her and a drowsy Lola on the other.

"Did you know your parents broke up right before college?" Bonnie asks in a quiet, easy tone as not to rouse the twins. I shake my head no, prompting her to tell me more. Reading directly from one of the journals, Bonnie says, "Grayson broke up with me – or maybe I broke up with him for being so insecure. Either way, Grayson is being ridiculous, I've told him over and over that there is nothing between _him _and I, but he's jealous none-the-less and we really had it out this morning.  
Grayson has to report for practice on Monday, so he's leaving for Charlottesville tonight instead of going with the rest of us on the fifteenth – apparently an extra six days of practice will make a difference (whatever you say, Coach!). I guess Lee told him about seeing me with _him _last night and Grayson acted like I'd done something wrong by playing a game of pool! I mean sure, he's got that bad boy way about him – very Patrick Swayze (Roadhouse, not Dirty Dancing)… but it doesn't mean anything. I LOVE GRAYSON. It doesn't matter how blue _his _eyes are or how persistent _he _is. "

"Ohhhh, Mrs. Miranda had a secret admirer!" Caroline teases as she puts Allie's hair in pigtails.

"I had no idea!" I smile, intrigued by the idea that my parents who had always appeared to have it all together, all the time – solid as a rock – had their own little triangle to deal with.

Bonnie has flipped a few pages forward and starts to read again as Stefan and Jeremy move past us and into the kitchen. I smile up at him when he runs his hand against my shoulder and leaves a kiss on my hair – a sweet, passing gesture to let me know he's happy that I'm happy.

"They meet up again?" Caroline asks in a restrained gasp, trying not to disturb the twins.

I guess I missed something while I was watching Stefan in the kitchen – sad that I was missing our 'couple time' while he cooks. Usually, I'd be in there helping… we'll I'd be in there assisting if necessary – I'm no good in the kitchen! I am having a great time with Bonnie and Caroline, but my time with Stefan still feels precious, even after being together for as long as we have. Maybe I'm gun-shy, like some kind of post-traumatic stress, but sometimes in the back of my mind it feels like the time Stefan and I have together is limited – like at any moment the other shoe could drop and our peaceful life here in Thailand will all be shattered.

"What? Read that again." I ask over Jeremy's voice telling us to come on out – "everything's nearly ready, no thanks to you all." Jeremy teases, tossing a hand towel at Bonnie before following Stefan out with the cooler of drinks, adding "That's okay, Stefan's a great housewife!"

"The next night, you're mom met _him_" Caroline says 'him' like it's a plague, "at The Grille and they went to a party together!"

I'm shocked – like really surprised and I want to know more about this mystery guy and how long my parents stayed broken up, but Bonnie needs me to carry Lola to their bedroom while she carries Liam, and Caroline starts out to the beach with Allie.

-Stefan-

So I've loosened up a bit, thanks to the Thai-basil Sangrias that Caroline put together – mine is less mixed drink, more straight brandy, but it's doing the job. I know I'd planned not to drink, but after Katherine pulled her little stunt I needed to calm down.

_Just try to have a good time, for me._ That's what Elena said yesterday in the market when we were still alone in our secluded life and had a few more hours before anyone invaded it. Invaded is a harsh word, but that's how it feels to me.

The clambake went down pretty well, actually. The fire pit is burning down to small, harmless flames and embering logs, the seaweed folded to side, dehydrated. I don't know how long we've been sitting out here, but we started just as the afternoon was turning to evening and now there is just a cuticle of purple left on the black-ocean horizon. I'm at the end of the table and count four, no six, magnum-size bottles of Pinot Noir, many bottles of Singha beer, what's left of the large glass pitcher of sangria, two empty bottles of whiskey shared by Damon, Jeremy, and Klaus, and the brandy – half full – next to me. Needless to say, the lot of us are drunk, less me and Caroline, and Elena hasn't had but a couple classes of the sangria.

She's sitting at the opposite end of the table with Allie nearly asleep in her lap, still picking at her food, every few minutes sending a sweet, soothing look down my way. I know I've said this before, but she is truly beautiful. The ease in which she smiles, the way she giggled with glittering tears in her eyes at Caroline's announcement, now holding our sleepy little girl in her lap and gently rocking her as she listens to Jeremy and Bonnie giving tips to the expecting parents – Elena is simply, the most stunning woman I've ever seen.

"Oh gosh, I can't wait to get Grayson out of diapers!" Elena comments after Jeremy tells Klaus about the less glamorous side of being a father.

"Ten times? Really?" Klaus' eyes are wide, a disbelieving smile on his face. "In a single day?"

"Yes." Bonnie gives him a serious, _get ready for it_ look, "sometimes more."

Damon takes a swig of brandy or whiskey maybe, I'm not sure which he's drinking now that we're running low, then gives a near slur when he says, "Maybe you'll get lucky and get a stay at home wife like Stefan over here."

Again with the stay at home wife jokes…

Like I said, pretty much everyone is drunk and of course, they find that hilarious, but it's getting just a little old. It began just as soon as I started cooking. _You're a stay at home Dad? _I still don't know why Jeremy would say that like I'd just admitted to being a cross-dresser. Yes. I'm a stay at home dad – Elena wants to work, she can work. I've had nearly two hundred years to live – I get to experience the only thing I'd missed out on, while Elena is able to have her dream job. _So what, do you wear an apron and those little dishwashing gloves? Stefan Salvatore, the French maid! _Yes Damon. That's exactly what I do.

I guess I'm not laughing like the rest of the group – not as drunk and never being too good at being the butt of the joke. Damon notices and quips, "Oh come on now brother, no need to get all broody on us." Another drink of whatever amber alcohol he's working on, "Is it that time? Are you menstrual?"

Roaring laughter. It goes on a bit… Jeremy is nearly out of breath. It's that funny, I guess.

I give Caroline a quick look, accidentally. She can't help me with this. Klaus is in on it too and its not a good idea for her to move against him.

"I've never understood your quick change, Stefan." Klaus chuckles, his hand high on Caroline's thigh, the other grabbing my shoulder and giving me a shake as I tear my eyes off of my brothers face in order to look at Klaus. "One day you're ripping it up in Chicago with my sister and the next you're basically Elena's lapdog."

More laughter… less enthusiastic than before - the mentioning of me 'ripping' and Klaus' sister, Rebekah, must be a little sobering.

Elena stands up, adjusting Allie, now asleep, on her shoulder.

"I can take her." I offer, starting to stand – I'm more than happy to leave this conversation – but Elena just shakes her head no and starts towards the house. My eyes follow her as far as I can without actually getting up from the seat – longing to go with her and lock all the doors once we're inside, alone.

"I've wondered that myself." Katherine sighs, leaned back in her chair, watching her bare feet making circles in the sand. I think she's still pissed off at Klaus and Jeremy for telling Allie to call her great-grandma Kathy.

I try really hard to hear if maybe Grayson is crying – consider lying and saying I need to use the restroom. I'd start picking up the plates and cleaning up, but that would ensue another laugh riot. Through a fake smile – the same smile I've had for most of the dinner – I say, "I don't guess I know what you're asking, why did I stop killing people?"

"Stefan." Damon should probably be cut off, but Katherine is refilling their tumblers as he leans over to me. "They want to know how you became Elena's little bitch?"

That fake smile, it's slipped away and I'm glaring at Damon and considering throwing him out of the chair he's in, but Bonnie tosses an empty clam shell at him – scolding him in that tone of hers that has always had a way of making me feel like my teacher had just gotten on to me. Damon just laughs it off, rubbing his forehead where the shell hit him.

"You are kind of whipped, Stefan." Jeremy adds, playfully cringing away from Bonnie. "She's my sister, and I love her, ya know, but you let her push you around."

"Elena doesn't push me around." My voice is flat, a false-calm tone as I stack a couple of the empty dishes up and remember Elena's request that I try to have a good time… for her.

Katherine gives a fake gasp, "Realize he didn't deny letting her boss him. He just clarified that she doesn't abuse him."

I don't respond, just give her a quick, warning glance. She's pretty liquored up and much more courageous than earlier – instead of backing down, she cuts a look right back at me.

"That's why Elena and I could'a never'ah worked." Damon tells the group, leaning onto the table and giving a serious face like he's discussing facts, one hand wrapped around his new full tumbler while the other bobs up and down while he speaks. "Elena likes to be the boss. She likes her man to wimp out and bow down and let her do whatevvvver she wants."

"Oh shut up, Damon." Caroline finally speaks up – cutting her eyes to me for a moment and I shake my head 'no' lightly, letting her know _this isn't a big deal. I'm fine. Don't get yourself into hot water with Klaus over me_. Still she continues, "You and Elena didn't work out because you're an ass."

When the laughing kicks up, I actually join in on it this time. They aren't going to understand and that's okay – they can cut into me if they want, but this is what works for Elena and I. I've been able to provide to her all that she's asked – from the house to the cars, a perfect little family and the ability to continue to work… I'm not at all uncomfortable in my role.

It's hard to explain, but I can feel Elena coming back from the house even before I notice Bonnie and Damon looking over my shoulder.

Going back to her seat at the opposite end and sipping from her glass, Elena says in a half laugh, "What did I miss?" like when you're coming in at the tail-end of a joke but don't want to be the only person who doesn't get it.

"Oh we've covered a lot, Sweetheart." Klaus laughs. "I fear you've missed far too much."

She looks at me with her nose wrinkled up – just adorable – while our drunk guests proceed to laugh a bit more.

-Elena-

I'm regretting hanging around in the house for so long – I put Allie to bed, checked in on Grayson and the twins, gathered up my mothers things and put them in our bedroom, then started back out, but my curiosity got the best of me and I sat down with the journal Bonnie had read out of. I read a few more entries and it looks like my mother actually had a full on romance with some guy while my dad was off at spring training before the football season started up! I mean, it only lasted a couple of days – my mom's freshman year started and she had to leave 'him'. Apparently, she had a pretty tearful goodbye with him the night before she left for school! The last line of that day's entry was "I may never see sapphire eyes like his again, but I have to let him go. For a thousand reasons, he's wrong for me. It's hard to love two guys when one is all right and the other is all wrong, but your heart can't bare the weight of hurting either of them."

Until I spotted Stefan and saw his tense body and felt that odd discomfort that I get when he's bothered or frustrated, I was thinking of how nice it would have been to have my mom around when I was going through my very own love-triangle with a guy that was all right and another that was all wrong – I bet she would have had the perfect advice to give me…

"What'd I miss?" I ask, hoping I don't sound as nervous as I feel – maybe Im just anxious for the night to be over so I can go and read more of my mothers journals, but I feel like something may have gone wrong while I was inside. Even through Stefan's faux-smile, I know he's feeling a bit peeved – from the looks of Damon's glassy, intoxicated eyes, I can guess who the instigator is.

Klaus answers me – says something to brush me off and calls me sweetheart in the sickeningly sweet tone that he uses when he's feeling macho – but I'm not really listening. Stefan's looking at me like he does… that way. The way that makes me forget what's going on around me. The way that gives a burn to his eyes that I can feel against my skin – In an effort to keep my witts about me, I give him a goofy look; scrunching up my nose and furrowing my brow a bit.

"We were talking about babies." Bonnie smiles, standing to gather some of the empty dishes.

Stefan, always the gentleman, immediately interjects – "Bonnie, sit. I've got all this." He says with that smile of his – the one that could put Prince Charming to shame – beginning to gather up a couple of the plates around him. His dark green eyes quickly meet my brown and I wonder if he can feel how proud of him I am – my magnificently sexy husband.

"Yea Bon-bon," Damon's voice is wobbly and I consider telling him to go easy on his drink when he tosses the rest of it back, "that's woman's work…" Turning to Stefan, he sits his glass down hard on top of the stack in Stefan's hands. "Here ya go, little lady."

His name comes from my lips the same way I've said Allie's name a thousand times before when she's being disorderly. "Damon!"

I'm surprised that she hears me through Klaus, Jeremy, and Damon's cackling laughter, but Katherine quickly puts me in my place. "Oh leave him alone, Elena. You're not his _mommy_."

Before I can respond, Jeremy leans towards me and speaks too loudly – a sign that he's drunk, "We're trying to figure out when Stefan lost his mancard."

Lost his mancard? Stefan Salvatore?

"Sorry?" I force out a chuckle so that I don't sound quite as pissed.

"Oh come on, sit down." Damon frowns at Stefan and they have a short-lived stare down before he adds something about him ruining the night by trying to leave and Stefan reluctantly takes his seat.

"How has he lost his mancard?" I ask again, this time louder and through a frown that I'm trying to pass off as a smile. Stefan can tell I'm not particularly happy with the topic and says my name softly with a shake of his head.

As if he's trying to block me from seeing Stefan, Damon leans far onto the table and says to me, "Don't be stupid, Elena." I shrug as if to say, _what?!_ "You've done nothing but boss him around since the day you met him."

"And how's that?" I ask, not really all that concerned with my tone any more. Honestly I'm not all that bothered by them calling me bossy, but it's ridiculous to think that Stefan is somehow emasculated because he doesn't force me into doing what he thinks I should.

Klaus gives a laugh, "Well for one, the poor bloke wasn't even allowed to nourish himself properly."

I look at him like he's just told me the world is flat. Stefan must be able to tell that it's getting to me, as I hear him say "They're drunk, let it go." And Caroline adds, "Let's change the subject."

Damon ignores the suggestion, "And all the stupid decisions that you made him go along with. Remember before the ritual with Klaus, you were going to drink that thousand year old holy water or whatever – the stuff Elijah gave you. Remember that? Stefan's all," Damon changes his slurry voice into a whining, high pitched tone, "whatever Elena wants even if it kills her or kills me or if the whole damn town gets turned into a cemetery, so long as Elena doesn't get mad at me"

"Yea, if it weren't for Bonnie you'd of woken up a vampire!" Jeremy laughs like this is a joke. Damon and Klaus and him talking to Stefan like he's beneath them because he treats me with respect.

"You're right, Jeremy." I turn to my brother, "Stefan should have let Damon finish feeding me his blood and break my neck before Bonnie even had a chance to do the spell with John."

"That's not what I mean." Jeremy tries to correct himself, no longer laughing now that he realizes what he was saying was ignorant. Stefan let me decide what to do about the Sun and the Moon Ritual because I had two options – die or be a vampire, and it takes a strong man to let the woman they love choose death… unlike Damon.

Damon rolls his eyes and sits back in his chair, "Even in Wilmington he was a being pussy!"

"Watch your mouth, Damon." Stefan glares at his brother, speaking in a low, too-calm-to-be-good voice.

I get a good look at Stefan and know he's having trouble staying in his seat. From the flexed neck to the lowered brow and lips pursed to a straight line, Stefan hasn't been this angry in… well, since the last time we were with our friends, I guess.

Before Damon can say anything else, I stand up in an effort to break their building tension - the last thing I want is a Salvatore brother fight, no matter if its tradition or not. "You think he was being weak? By letting me do what I felt was best?" How can they not realize the strength it took for Stefan to trust me? "Nearly every time, Stefan knew he was going to get hurt if I was wrong, but he still trusted me and you think that was weak?"

Damon does his raised eyebrows, big blue eyes thing that he does when he's being crude – "All I'm saying is, if you would'a been my girl, none of that shit would have happened at all."

"Oh, and how's that?" Caroline asks, sounding just as angry as me.

I notice that all the laughing has stopped – our fun clambake where the kids played in the sand and Stefan and a-still-sober-Damon sat around the bonfire drinking and joking is over - three hours later the real topics have suddenly come to the surface.

"I would have turned her." He snaps his fingers, "and like that, Klaus would'a been out of the picture."

The push/pull thing that Stefan and I share, it's so strong right now – literally tugging at me and I start moving towards him without realizing it.

-Caroline-

"You still don't get it, do you, Damon?" Elena asks him without taking her eyes off of Stefan – they've got these matching smiles like they're the only ones in on the joke, like they share a huge secret.

You know what it's like when you're watching a romantic movie and the big scene is coming up – where the lead finally fesses up to loving their best friend or their co-worker or their sworn enemy or whatever? That feeling in the air that makes you want to love on the person next to you or really squeeze into your pillow, longing for your own real-life romantic comedy? With Elena standing next to Stefan, leaning against him with her hand on the back of his head and his arm loosely around her hips, his thumb grazing up and down on the bare skin above the waist of her shorts, I lean into Klaus without thinking about it – I don't know if Klaus realizes it, but he's resting his head on mine as we watch Elena and Stefan, our very own romantic comedy, looking at each other like they just might catch fire from the invisible heat between them.

"Besides the fact that he's gorgeous," Elena laughs, tossing her hair back as the cool wind blows in on us. The smile on Stefan's face widens as he looks up at her – I swear, that guy knows how to look at a girl and make her knees weak. I've never been on the receiving end of it, even when he and I 'dated', but anyone can see the effect he has on Elena. "Stefan has a brilliant mind," She runs her other hand through the short hair above his ear, then holds his face in her hands. "He's an amazing father, my very best friend - _amazing_ in bed." She teases and Stefan sweeps her onto his lap. They laugh like the six of us aren't even here – like this candle lit table is set for two instead of eight. I'm beginning to wonder if Elena's speech is for Damon or if it's some sort of foreplay. Sliding her hands down his shoulders, gently squeezing his biceps, Elena says "And he's the strongest man I've ever known. Even though he knew he might lose me, he gave me the only thing I needed to make it through those years…" With the way she keeps looking at his mouth and the hungry look on his face, I almost turn away. I mean, it's getting way intense between them. For God's sake, I'm starting to want to kiss them! "Stefan gave me control of my life when everyone else was stealing it away." Stefan moves like he's about to kiss her, his hand cupping the back of her head, fingers weaved into her hair, but he stops himself just short. "I belong to Stefan."

I can't take it anymore – my eyes move away from them and over the table to find Damon and Katherine glaring at them, Bonnie and Jeremy cuddling and smiling with that same romantic-comedy-movie happiness on their faces. When they both look away simultaneously, I know that Stefan and Elena must be finally making out… Elena's back of the throat, half-sigh, half-moan tells me I'm right.

-Stefan-

I know you probably think I'm being melodramatic when I say that the second she smiled at me, whatever frustration I was feeling with the line of conversation regarding my choice to let Elena live her own life disappeared, but it's true. It's the effect she has on me – or maybe it's that frequency that we share. Something about the way it reverberates into my muscles calms me down when I'm angry and, when she kisses me like she just did, it ramps me up to a tightly wound, overzealous state of desire.

I want her. Badly. Maybe worse than I ever have and that's saying a lot.

Damon might have been getting a little out of hand, but it started off light. They were just screwing with me the way guys do – it's part of being a guy and having a bunch of guys knowing too much of your business. I could have put a stop to it at any time, but I was trying to go with Elena's request for me to have a good time… she bites my bottom lip when I pull away from our kiss and I have to say, I'm glad that I let their heckling continue!

That kiss and her sweet, soul-crushing moan into mouth, it could've been the start of something incredible. I'm tempted to pick her up and toss her over my shoulder, caveman-like, but I remind myself that this is her night with her brother and her girlfriends. I keep my eyes closed for a long moment, forcing my longing for her back into that tight pit in my stomach, but when I open them I find Elena's dark, endless eyes looking into mine with a sexy, mischievous sparkle about them. Teasing, she leans into to kiss me again – I think she's checking to see if I'd let her and I don't move a muscle, fully willing to continue on – but Elena presses her teeth into the soft, ruby flesh of her bottom lip and stands up from my lap.

The table has started up a conversation, but Bonnie calls to Elena when she trails her fingers down my arm and leaves me tense and turned on and watching my body's only relief walking back towards the house.

-Bonnie-

"Where are you going?" I have to speak loudly as Jeremy and Damon are debating football versus rugby with Klaus, while Caroline plays on her phone and Stefan watches Elena walking away like she's just taken all the oxygen out of his lungs.

The way they are around each other makes me smile, so happy that Elena made it to the life that she deserves. I've always liked Stefan – even when he was a vampire – but human Stefan is so easy to be around and I love how he adores my best friend.

Not stopping, but turning around and walking backwards, Elena giggles and responds to me while looking at Stefan, "I'm going to take a shower." Then crosses her arms over her stomach and in a quick motion pulls off her top, revealing her apple green bikini top and the body she's always had – toned and curvy and not a sign of two pregnancies on her flat stomach. In a very flirty tone, she gives Stefan a playful challenge when she says, "First one to the bathroom wins?"

Stefan stands up and nods at us with an excited look on his face, his voice a little scratchy when he says, "You guys know your way out, right?" then takes off in a full sprint, kicking sand up behind his long strides chasing after a giggling, tipsy Elena.

"GO ELENA!" Caroline yells with her hands cupped around her mouth, Klaus cheering on Stefan and the rest of us just laughing at the ridiculousness of them.

I'm pretty sure she lets herself get caught; Elena doesn't even get to the steps of the deck before Stefan catches her and she's squealing like a teenager when he tosses her over his shoulder like she's weightless and gives her bottom a playful swat.

Caroline, Klaus, Jeremy, and I are still laughing when they disappear into the house and Katherine says in an annoyed tone, "Well. That was adoreable."

Poor Katherine. Poor Damon. I think sometimes Stefan and Elena forget that they aren't the only ones who've had a rough go, ya know. They've been through just as much, but have much less support! Not to mention they're both kind of damaged. Caroline starts in on Katherine and how she shouldn't be so rude, but I know the truth behind Katherine's irritation and put my arm around her shoulders, rest my head against hers to let her know I care.

She's been so worried about coming for this trip – _It's hard to ignore something is wrong when you're looking at a perfect version of what you should be, Bonnie._ She and Damon are struggling as is and even though I thought she was absurd for thinking being here would make their problems seem magnified, I now see what she means. Especially about the kids…

-Elena-

"The windows." I say. I think I say it. I don't know if he can understand me – with his mouth sucking at the skin just below my ear and those rough hands of his grabbing at me, pulling my leg up around his waist – the weight of him pressing against me – I'm much too vocal and much too lost in the million sensations I'm experiencing to be sure if the words are actually audible.

Stefan sits back on his calves and pulls of his shirt – that Greek God body of his stuns my lungs in place as my eyes trail down him like I've never seen him before. "Leave it." He says in a rough whisper, sliding his arm beneath me and pulling me onto his lap, my legs straddling him, and his mouth finding mine in hard, hungry kisses that set me on fire, tensing the muscles in the lowest low of my torso.

"Stefan." I say his name in between kisses, fearful that I'm about to be had by Stefan Salvatore like never before with an audience to witness me coming undone.

"Hmm?" It's not really a verbal response, just a deep vibration from his mouth and into my body as he kisses and licks and sucks down my neck, my chest, between my breasts – all the while I'm fighting to stay conscious to reality. It's so hard not to get lost in him and the way he makes lose control.

With his callused hand against my back, my body uncontrollably arches into his when he unties my bikini top and I've almost forgot what I'm trying to say – that we need to shut the windows and turn off the light if we don't want an audience. Laying us back onto the bed, I've got his earlobe between my teeth and his solid body pressing hard against my most sensitive areas when I hear Caroline or Bonnie give a loud belly laugh from afar.

"Wait, Stefan." It's a moan, I know, but what can I do? We've barely got started and I'm already breathless and overheating.

He stops – basically freezing in place – he heard the laugh too and now gets what I was saying about the windows. In a quick, fluid motion, Stefan pushes himself off of me and off of our bed – a determined look on his smiling face when he holds his hand out to me and says, "You, do not move."

Covering my giggle with my fingers, I watch my shirtless, Roman sculpture moving quickly to get back to me – to make love to me the way only he can. The entire exterior wall of our large bedroom is made up of four wide windows and I get to watch the muscles of his back and shoulders role beneath his warm, olive skin, his cut arms flexing with each movement – each passing second building the anticipation in my body.

When he closes up the last one and turns to find me on the bed, eagerly waiting for him on my knees, he gives me his beautiful champion smile when he looks me over, saying, "Didn't I tell you not to move?"

I laugh, anxious. Dying to have him! For him to have me! He knows what he's doing to me – now moving slowly towards the bed with his emerald eyes burning into me, making me shiver from the heat of his gaze.

Climbing onto the bed in the same position as me – both of us topless, on our knees – just a couple of feet between us and being squeezed by the gravity we share, Stefan's voice sounds so soothing, so warm when he says, "I love you," those burning eyes of his trailing down me, then back to meet my brown. "So much."

I'm kind of caught off guard – he's gone from a very playful, Naughty Stefan to an incredibly sweet, romantic version in less than a second. I'm about to respond, tell him that I love him too and that I feel so lucky to be his wife, but he's switched back to Naughty Stefan and grabs the backs of my thighs with his hands, pulling my legs out from under me and I fall onto my back as a loud, unexpected laugh comes from my mouth instead.

Moments later, my fingers are fisting in his hair and breathy, begging sounds are escaping my lips from the pure ecstasy of his hot mouth on my inner thighs when Grayson's cry breaks our reverie.

I don't know why – frustrated with our luck of being interrupted I guess – but I laugh, both of my hands on my face and Stefan nearly collapsed on my stomach.

"You've got to be kidding me." He groans, his scratchy, unshaven face against my bare skin feels amazing… not that it matters now.

"He's gonna wake up the twins…" I warn. Stefan looks up at me and I see him put together what I'm saying – if Grayson wakes up the twins, then there's no way we'll be able to pick this back up anytime soon – and he hops off the bed, fastening his shorts and moving towards the door.

"I'll go." I offer, rolling onto my stomach.

"Nope. You stay there." He smiles, leaning onto the bed and kissing my lips slowly once, then a second kiss a bit quicker before moving away. "This. is. happening."

Laughing, I say, "Yes sir." Then he exhales a frustrated sigh before leaving me in waiting.

I don't know how long I lay there listening to the laughing and inaudible tones of the voices of my family still having drinks on the beach, but I start to get sleepy, my eyelids feeling quite heavy and my body relaxing nearly to the point of sleep. Deciding to close them for just a moment – just to rest for a second – I see Stefan's disappointed face in my minds eye and decide I need to stay awake. Hopping back onto my knees, my eyes land on my mothers journal and once again, curiosity takes over.

By the time Stefan makes it back from putting Grayson back to sleep, I'm wearing his shirt and sitting in the armchair by his desk, curled into a tight ball and reading about this 'timeless romance' my mother had during a six day break up with my father.

"Oh no." Stefan groans, his face lax, aggravated. When I start reading a book or a manuscript for work, it's very difficult for me to stop until I'm finished… him finding me with a book in my hands is not a good sign as far as he's concerned.

I smile at him apologetically. "It's my mother's journal. I've only got a few more pages." Furrowing his brow, Stefan runs his hand through his hair, then rests his hands on his waist. "I swear, just five minutes."

Pressing a heavy exhale through his nose, he says, "Five minutes?" I nod, smiling – seriously, he's adorable – "I'm going to shower, then you and me," he motions with his hand between us, "this is happening. I swear to God, Elena, I'm going to burst into flames if I have to have you any longer."

He's joking, I know – but still, he's kinda not. I've been kind of a prude lately, so I'm sure my flirty behavior last night, then just a bit early, is really causing him some _pressure._

"Yes. Shower, then we'll reconvene." I laugh as he kicks off his shorts and heads into the bathroom, "Wouldn't want you to spontaneously combust." Then turn back to my mom's journal entries to try and learn more about her mystery man… She's yet to say his name and I don't know why I need to know who it is so badly, but I'm determined to figure it out.

_We met at his house. I know. What am I doing? Why am I still spending time with him? My parents would kill me if they knew what I was doing with this him – the way he touches me, how he talks to me - it's like no other boy ever has. But then again, he's not a boy is he? I think it's his confidence that does it, that makes me want to learn everything there is to know about him – his brother, his ex-girlfriend, his shady past. It doesn't hurt that he's so good looking - beautiful like no other man… but then again…_

_Miranda, what has gotten into you? There's no future here. Your future is with Grayson – that's what I keep telling myself. Over and over, chanting it in my mind on my way down hwy 177 to go to his house. Parking my car. Walking up to his door. Ringing the brass bell at the entry way. But then there he his, smiling at me like he does, looking at me like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world – raised eyebrows and sapphire eyes. Then the next thing I know, he's asking me if I'd like to stay the night, kissing me goodbye when I resist, and I'm worn out from making love writing in my journal about a tenuous romance that is destined to end badly._

I hear Stefan step out of the shower, the water now off, as I turn the page, a loose piece of off-white paper falling to my lap. It's a poem…

_The reaping of a soul, it is a harvest you know,  
Bringing up your past for what's due.  
A smile or a tear, of all that you fear,  
It's the choices you've made come through._

_What you sew to the soil, a seed left to grow,  
will one day find its way to the light.  
What you've done in the past will soon find its way,  
Bad deeds breaking through the night._

_Be careful, my dear, we all pay for our sins,  
a choice holds a rippling effect.  
The reaping of a soul, it is a harvest you know,  
And it will soon be time to collect._

_I'm going to hell. I'm cheating on my fiancé and going against everything I've ever been taught – going against my parents only wishes! You can't do bad things to be people and expect your life to turn out blessed and fine, like the universe will somehow forget about your sins. So I'm either going to hell or I'm going to pay greatly for all the lying and sneaking around to see him._

_It's his eyes… I can't leave him because of his eyes. So blue. So cold. So surprisingly earth-shattering when he wants me._

Wow. My mom had a full on affair…

The door to the bathroom opens and for a moment, I fear I'm going to let him down, but when Stefan steps into the bedroom in a pair of black boxer-briefs, his hair a wet, sexy mess, and his impeccable body still damp, each muscle highlighted by the reflection of the light on his wet skin, I close the journal, tossing it onto the bedside table, then meet his hungry smile with one of my own.

My husband is simply gorgeous – perfectly built the way a man should be.

When I stand up to go to him, he looks me over and gives me a shiver through all the way down to my toes when he says, "You have no idea how hot you look in my shirt."

I walk directly into him, pressing my body against his the moment he pulls his teeshirt over my head. This time our kissing is deeper, hotter, more focused – I feel the bed against the back of my legs first, then my back when he lays us down it.

With his mouth on neck again, his rough hands on my breast, I turn my head to the side so he can full access to do what he does – drive me crazy, set me on fire, steal away all of my senses. He's pressing against me hard, my hips coming up to meet his when he grinds against me and I let out a loud plead, my eyes rolling back a bit.

Usually, he stretches it out – the foreplay – makes me wait for him until I think my body may turn into a puddle of liquid, but he lifts himself off of me, kicking off his boxers then pulling off my panties before returning to me. I want him to continue with the kissing on my neck, so I turn away again and he understands, sucking hard on the most sensitive area of my neck. My eyes open wide and I inhale sharply - surprised, and thoroughly enjoying, the force he's using.

Stefan is never overly eager – I don't know how he keeps the control he has, but he stays at it until my hand is fisting into the covers beneath us and the other is digging into his flexed shoulder. There's nothing but him and me – just his breathing in my ear, his warm body against all of mine, the frequency between us nearly sparking like static electricity from the friction. Even my vision is unfocused, but I catch the corner of a picture that's nearly fallen out of my mother's journal and for a moment I try to see who it is.

But then he moves into me and I cry out and arch against him and I think I say his name just before he's kissing my lips again and our tongues are moving together in the same bump and glide, sliding friction as our bodies.

-Stefan-

It's ridiculous, I know, but you'd think this time was the first time with Elena by the way my body is having trouble staying in control. I guess it's because how long I've waited to be with her like this, but where I'm usually able to sustain quite awhile, I can feel myself coming way too close to the edge.

I stop, try to get my senses toned down a bit, but Elena is bringing her hips up to meet mine and I swear to God I'm about to die.

"Ahh, Elena." My voice is so rough, gravel-like, when I say her groan out her name – I'm trying to tell her to wait, but she pulls my face mouth back to her neck and I'm unable to resist.

I'm half sucking, half biting her like she likes, moving fast and hard and her hoarse cries have nearly got me there – I mean I can hardly breathe she feels so good, squeezing me, holding onto me and meeting my movements.

I say her name again, right into her ear – I need her know that I'm about to lose it, I'm nearly finished; I just can't take how good this is. But when I say it once, I say it again as I get closer. Words cannot express how much I love her, how beautiful she is, what she does to me. Even her name feels good.

Elena's breathing starts to get that rhythm-less pace, her body tenses, and I know she's nearing the edge as well – then she opens her mouth and says in her sexy, raspy cry, "Damon."

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – The Reaping**

-Elena-

Stefan Salvatore is a God.

Have you ever had a man whisper against your ear, his lips grazing your skin, releasing your name in an uninhibited, prayerful way? It's sensual, tantalizing… godly even.

I'm already tensing from the heat of our bodies moving together; his forceful thrusts and the ceaseless friction of his callused hands on my over-sensitive skin – one guiding my hips up to meet his, the other now cupping the side of my face as he destroys my every nerve with his hot mouth on my neck. But then he pulls back ever so slightly, slows his pace and inhales sharply through his teeth – right against my ear he says my name in that graveled voice of his – sensuous, nearly indecent - and I know I'm done with

I'm unraveling beneath him with the begging way he says my name.

I'm so very close to losing control – my mind fading in and out of rational thought - and he says it again, just like before but more groan, his hand roughly gripping low on my hip. Uncontrollably, my legs flex and my calves press against his backside, pushing the length of him into me again just as his teeth scrape against the nape of my neck and my eyes flutter back into my head. If I had any oxygen I know I'd be moaning and begging him to continue, but I'm barely able to breathe at all as Stefan's rhythm turns to an assaulting pace and I feel myself coming undone.

My mind is literally useless right about now, I'm just a bundle of nerves and liquid and heat, but when I open my eyes, my blurred vision somehow lands on that picture peeking out of my mother's journal on the bedside table – cold, _sapphire_ blue eyes looking back at me.

Then I'm still – Stefan's body rigid on top of me, motionless. Maybe I'm imagining it, but I swear to you his skin is suddenly scorching hot.

Extending his arms, locked at the elbows with his hands pressing into the mattress on each side of my shoulders, he's looking down at me like he doesn't recognize me – his lips, red and swollen from the friction of our kisses, are parted as he inhales deeply, out of breath. Because it seems so out of place, it takes me a long second to see the anger in his eyes… anger like molten lava, anger like I haven't witnessed in his leaf-green eyes since Wilmington. Anger like I've never seen focused on me…

I smile up at him, nervous I guess, and it seems to flare the rage smoldering in his darkening eyes.

Then I figure it out – my thoughts coming back into place, no longer lost in him - when I saw the picture, and recognized the blue eyes looking back at me… I said Damon.

"Oh my God, no" I start, speaking in a panicked, quick way – reaching up to hold him, my arms beneath his, hands splayed flat on his scalding hot back and pulling at his shoulders as if I somehow now what's coming next and my grip may keep him in place.

It doesn't.

Stefan is off of the bed in a split-second, jerking his body away from me.

"Stefan." I sit up, terrified, not sure what to do as I watch him moving quickly into our closet, calling after him, "Stefan, no. I –"

In barely any time at all, he's stepping out of the closet and pulling on a white tee-shirt, a pair of dark blue jeans zipped, but unfastened at his waist.

"Stefan. Stefan please, I –" I'm begging him but cannot seem to get past saying his name – all the words are stuck in my throat. Half turned away from me, he runs both of his hands through his hair, lacing his fingers behind his head and inhaling deeply through his nose – a momentary meditation – jaw clenched tightly, eyes shut, brow deeply knitted.

"Stefan, I-"

He cuts me off, suddenly glaring at me, his hands fisted at his sides. There is a mixture of hate and hurt in his eyes and actual pain searing through me in place of our gravity when he says, "You were thinking of him?!" Spitting out the words like they leave a bad taste in his mouth, like he's disgusted by the thought, by me. I shake my head, my vocal chords paralyzed by the rush of emotions – sorrow, regret, fear, shame, love… always, no matter what, there is love for Stefan.

I start to go to him, my legs wobbly from our phenomenal love making and the fear now flowing through me, but he lifts his hand up to me, palm open, fingers spread, and shakes his head – eyes focused on something in front of him.

His telling me to stop, to not come to him; it _really_ hurts me. I know I sound like a sorrowful child when I say, "Stefan?"

Biting into his bottom lip like he does when he's upset, he lowers his hand and crosses his arms over his chest for a moment, then rests his hands on his waist and asks through gritted teeth, "Did he hit on you?"

"What? No!" The tone of my voice sounds shocked, like that would never happen – but we both know it could, and we both know it has in the past, and what's worse, we both know how I reacted to Damon's advances. It's been more than seven years and still, I'm as guilty and shameful about what I did to Stefan by being with his brother as I was the day I came home from Spain and confessed my offenses. Time has done nothing to ease the ache of the sins I committed against Stefan, my soul mate.

Now slipping on his boots, I feel helpless, watching him getting ready to leave - to get away from me.

In a soft tone, I try and explain, "Stefan, I wasn't thinking about Da… about him." When I started to say Damon's name for a second time since we left our friends on the beach, I saw Stefan's back expand with his quick inhale, bowing up, nearly exploding. So I referred to Damon as _him_… just like my mother did in her journals. "I – I was –"

He cuts me off again, speaking loudly, nearly yelling at me, "You said his name, Elena!" Finally turning to face me, his burning stare burrows into my face. I know I look surprised even as I turn slightly away from his glare; my eyes are wide and round as I'm not used to seeing him like this – my cool, calm, Stefan is lost for the moment. As if he's explaining the obvious, Stefan gives me this grimace of a smile, points at me as he says, "We're having sex and you say your ex-boyfriends name…" Pressing his fingers harshly against his chest, his voice is raw, "_my brothers name_," Turning, he starts a small, pacing half-circle from the closet to the exit. It takes three or four laps for him to gather his thoughts. His body is giving off a raging heat that seems to have increased the temperature of our bedroom while I stand naked at the end of our bed and try to think of some way to stop the unraveling before me. In a disbelieving, yet condemning tone, shaking his head with those telling-eyes of his focused at some invisible spot near my toes, he asks, "and I'm supposed to believe you weren't thinking about him!?"

"Stefa-" My voice is drowned out by the sound of his fist slamming into the sheetrock wall – once, twice, three times – then opening our bedroom door and leaving a fourth hole in the wall with the force he used to swing it open.

-Bonnie-

I should've just went on to bed when I heard Stefan start yelling. With Jeremy in the shower, I was in the kitchen getting a drink of water when I first caught his angry voice and the oddness of it kept me in place. I've been through a lot with Stefan, and I think this might be the first time I've ever heard him yell in anger like this – I guess that's what held my attention as I tried to hear what he was saying. Then when the loud booms were followed by that unmistakable sound of a door being slammed against the wall, it was too late for me to escape back to the extra bedroom.

He looked to be more than angry… livid, maybe – walking quickly into the kitchen and taking his wallet and a set of keys from the isle – his eyes looking at me just long enough to make me want to shrink back against the kitchen counter – then he was out the door, slamming it so hard that a picture hanging on a nearby wall fell to the floor and the glass front shattered.

I'm stunned, I guess, still standing in the same place, holding my empty glass, when Elena comes hurriedly into the kitchen.

"Did he leave?" She asks, looking as shocked as I know I do. I just nod, trying to figure out how Elena and Stefan went from a very public bit of foreplay to Stefan losing his cool and heading out into the night at just after midnight. "Did he say where he was going?"

"What happened?" I ask, shaking my head no.

Reluctantly, Elena tells me everything – by the time she's finished, I know all about Damon and Mrs. Miranda, about Elena's poor timing when she figured out who her mom was sleeping with, as well as Stefan's misunderstanding as to why she said Damon's name in the heat of the moment.

Call me a pessimist, but I'm not surprised – Damon is a dog. A very handsome, smooth talking, experienced heartbreaker that most, if not all girls, would have a hard time resisting.

"Call him, explain. Text if you have to." I say, holding the picture of Damon and a young Miranda Sommers in my hands gingerly, like I'm holding the evidence that will break some legal case wide open. I guess that's exactly what it is… without this picture its going to be really difficult to convince Stefan that Elena's saying Damon's name was innocent – a moment of clarity during that few seconds right before you come crashing down.

Frustrated, worried about Stefan and rightfully angry with Damon, Elena rests her face in her hands, leaning onto the dining table, "He didn't take his cell phone. I don't know if he even took the time to put on a pair of boxers… he wanted to get away from me so badly." Looking up at me with wide eyes, Elena sounds like a scared little girl when she says, "What if he doesn't come back, Bonnie?"

It's so strange how Elena still doesn't understand how unique her relationship is with Stefan… everyone else can see it's unbreakable, why can't she? I guess I'm looking at her like she's insane, because she continues without me saying anything.

"You're right. He'd never leave Allie and Grayson, no matter what I'd done."

Smiling, I take her hand and talk to her the way I do my students when they are feeling blue, left out, or just lonely, "Don't be silly, Elena. Stefan would _never_ leave _you._" It takes a second, but I see the shadow of doubt in Elena's eyes fade away. She gives me a nod, returning my smile. We sit there for a bit, silent, in the quiet house, listening to the sound of the tide coming in through the open windows. When she checks the clock on the microwave, I see she's starting to worry about Stefan again – he's been gone for more than an hour – so I change the subject. "So, are you going to confront Damon?"

It worked. Almost immediately I see a flare in Elena's eyes. "Yes. Absolutely. How could he not tell me?" I almost say _you know, Damon, _but Elena continues, "But I've got to find out if that was the last of it. I can't expect him to tell me the truth."

"How far did you read?" I ask, a shiver passing through me as the cool air blows in.

Standing, Elena answers me as she heads into the kitchen, "Just until she left for college." Starting a pot of coffee, she says over her shoulder. "I need to read the rest of her journals before I confront him."

I don't know why – I mean this is a really weird situation, Damon sleeping with her mom – but I smile wide from my memories of us in college, pulling all-nighters around a table with a couple pots of coffee and bags of pita chips and cheap, greasy pizza's from the Student Center. "I'll get the boxes."

-Elena-

…_Abby's engaged! I'm happy for her. I am. But as much as I love Abby, I know that she's 'in love' with the idea of being in love and not with James. You can't tell Abby anything – when she sets her mind to something, it's as good as set in stone…_

…_John and Isobel are much too young to raise a child. She's still in high school for God's sake! I shouldn't have budded in, but I just couldn't help it. Here was my brother in law, just a baby himself, telling Grayson that he was in big trouble because he'd got his girlfriend pregnant and, of course, they had no money, no jobs, she had no health insurance, and he had to beg her not to go to one of those strip-mall clinics to abort their child. Abort their child? Grayson and I have been trying to conceive for years… YEARS! We started during my last semester of college and 39 ovulation cycles later I'm still not pregnant. Carol is pregnant. Abby is pregnant. Hell, Kelly is pregnant AGAIN. So I said it. I put it out there. Three words – we can help…_

…_I wasn't sure until I saw her. For months I've been doing all I could to be involved with Isobel – strange girl, that one – I've read all the books and taken her shopping. Its become a weekly appointment to take Isobel out to lunch, into town for a visit with Grayson, then trail behind her at the mall while she unenthusiastically handles the cutest, tiniest little onsies and blankets like they're dishrags. Isobel doesn't know how lucky she is to be able to experience pregnancy… Anyway, as I've said I've read fifty books or more, atleast ten of those baby-name books, and I had a list of possibilities – Gracie, after Grayson, Noelle, just because I like it, and Mary Hannah after our mothers. But the instant I saw her dark, Gilbert-brown eyes, shining up at me, _my daughter_ gazing up me, _her mother_, I said outloud, "Hello, Elena."…_

I blink away tears in my eyes, imagining what my mom must have felt when she wrote about holding me for the first time and wishing that she could've known Allie and Grayson. Thankfully, Bonnie starts in on an entry from a few years later.

"Listen to this, Elena. _Mayor Lockwood called to speak with Grayson this afternoon. I could tell something was wrong, something serious – in my mind I worried that I'd been found out. My secret week with the vampire had come back to haunt me – but after a bit of pressing, Richard told me of something much worse. It's like something out of a science fiction novel – curses and van helsing, doppelgangers and witchcraft – all of it coming to a head around my beautiful Elena." _Looking up at me, Bonnie asks, "Van Helsing?"

"It's from Bram Stoker's Dracula." I take the final drink of my second cup of coffee. "He was a hunter, hired to kill Count Dracula."

We share a small moment of silence, looking at one another and coming to the same conclusion, speaking simultaneously, "Mikael."

Bonnie turns her attention back to the diary in her hands and I start on another one – 2005 – pouring another cup of coffee.

The night goes on like this for quite a while. Most of the time we're quiet, reading to ourselves, but then one of us will speak unexpectedly and share a funny or sad bit of one of mom's entries. There's a lot of laughing and a lot of tears, both of us getting an inside view of our mothers and our childhoods. I feel so bad for Bonnie, for my mom, when Bonnie reads:

_Elena asked me if I'd have 'the talk' with Bonnie… said that with her mother gone, Bonnie was terrified of starting her period. Of course I agreed, how could I not? If it weren't for me and Grayson pleading with Abby to spell the hunter, Abby would still be with her beautiful little girl. The morning that James called, looking for Abby, frantic with worry, I knew what had happened – and from that very moment I've sworn to take care of Bonnie like she is my own child. I'm doing what I can; taking her with Elena and I for our girls night, porting them to and from school and cheerleading practice, and I'll find a way to have the birds and bee's talk with her – but I'm no replacement for Abby. Her leaving Bonnie is yet another deed I'll have to answer for one day._

I'm about to apologize – my ruining of Bonnie's life started much earlier than I had realized – but Bonnie speaks before I can, "Why would she blame herself for Abby running off? She left us because she wanted to start over… nothing could've been done to change that." Sliding her hair behind her ears, I'm filled with a sad sense of joy when Bonnie sighs, "I wish I could tell her that I don't blame her… not at all."

We go through the rest pretty smoothly – other than the to-be-expected troubles of a upper-middle class woman and her two children, there's not any drama to speak of, though mom mentions researching a K. Pierce from Georgia, as well as some detailed information about the councils vast knowledge of the towns bloody history. The burning of the witches when the town had not even been settled yet, the vampires wrangled up and killed in 1864, even the Samantha Gilbert murders. I guess it's because none of this comes to me as news – I mean, my life was drowning in all of those details not so long ago – but by the time I finish up with 2008, I'm exhausted and Bonnie is nearly asleep with her head on the table. I push away the reminders coursing through my mind about Stefan… still not home.

"How many more?" She asks, her voice muffled as she speaks into the bend of her elbow.

Through I yawn, I say, "Two." Both of giving a sigh of relief that the end is near. We started this just after midnight and, from the pitch black of the western sky outside of the open windows and the weight of my eyelids, I know it must be getting very, very close to dawn. Determined to finish and hoping to stay awake for when Stefan finally makes it back, I take the last two journals from the now empty box and place the gray and yellow fabric covered one in front of Bonnie, then lean back in my chair to start on the red leather book I remember sitting on the dresser the morning of the day she died – her last diary.

The spine hasn't even bent when Allie's hand on my shoulder nearly startles me into a heart attack.

"Mommy." I'm out of my seat, adrenaline coursing through my tired muscles and Bonnie giggling at my reaction. "Mommy, I saw a scorpio." Clinging to my leg, her head resting on my hip, Allie's still half asleep, her green eyes – Stefan's eyes – look up at me like she's looking through me.

Bonnie asks the question that is sitting at the tip of my tongue, looking at Allie with a concerned, yet fascinated expression. "Is she sleep walking?"

"No." My voice is high pitched and I don't know why… there are a few things about Allie that are, well, let's say unique. I'd never noticed it, probably because I'd been with her since the moment she was conceived, but Stefan caught it and when he pointed it out to me – how Allie seems to answer questions you haven't spoken yet, the way she picks up languages… have I mentioned that at six years old she speaks fluent Thai and Italian? Stefan and I have agreed to never mention it to her – we don't want Allie to feel like she's odd or different. Being a kid is hard enough without all of the possible supernatural variables Stefan and I may or may not have put into play. I don't want to talk about the possible sleep walking as it may lead to other topics, so I give up on my hope of waiting for Stefan and finishing the journals. Picking her up, Allie is fully asleep the moment her head rests against my shoulder, so I whisper. "I think I'm going to go on to bed."

The moment I step into my bedroom and spot the large holes in the wall, I reminded of our argument. I remember his face, looking down at me – me still foggy from being so close to an explosive orgasm and ignorant to what I'd done. I can almost feel the raging heat of his skin against my fingertips. All of these thoughts, a million different scenarios as to how things will play out between us once he finally comes home, and a deep, deep fear that he may not come home at all makes sleep difficult to find. I don't know how long I lay there with Allie attached to my body – sporadically waking up just enough to tell me about the imaginary scorpion that she's scared of, her monster under the bed, I guess. But, after a long while of mentally tossing and turning, but actually staying very still as not to wake Allie, I finally fall asleep.

It's sleep - the restless, struggle to find peace, can't get comfortable kind of sleep that I used to feel was a gift – back when I was compelled and grieving for Stefan without knowing what I was longing for. Those days when any kind of sleep at all was a blessing – and then I found him and my heart healed and I was whole, since then sleep has been easy and warm, safe. Safe with his arms around me. I'm in a half-nightmare, half-dream state of mind, picturing Stefan in so many scenes – a mixture of memories and fears – that I barely wake at all, hardly register the gravity caress through me.

When Allie wakes me just an hour or so later and he's already gone again, that's when I realize that I wasn't dreaming of inhaling his warm, clean scent. I didn't imagine seeing him change into his running clothes – he really did brush Allie's hair out of her face. I'm almost 100% sure that he even touched my hip gently, softly… can a touch be sad?

-Stefan-  
I wouldn't use the word 'miss', as I don't long for it, or even remember my time as a vampire fondly – most of the time, I'd look down and find my hands in tight fists at my side – but, it was easier to stay up all night, then go for a five mile run to burn off my craving, or too much alcohol, or anger…

My every muscle is screaming at me – sending an aching reprimand through my nerve endings, punishing me for putting them through this God awful night. In the dark, still really, really pissed off and incredibly dejected about our argument, pounding out a few miles seemed like a good idea. Two miles in, still dark – the horizon just barely lighter than black, purple like a deep bruise, it still felt good so I took my long loop instead of cutting back through the docks. Now morning light is waking up the day and everything I did last night seems wrong. All of it – the yelling, the rage, slamming my fist through the wall, leaving, running with no rest and this pressure inside of me that is honestly becoming painful – it was all a bad, horrible decision.

Chilled from the morning breeze hitting my sweaty body, but still burning hot internally from the rage I've felt since the instant she said his name, I pop my neck and pull off my soaked shirt, then lean back onto the Adirondack to let the breeze slip over my entire body. Reaching over my head and gripping the planks of the chair with both hands, I shiver from the quick cooling of my skin – close my eyes and wonder if I'll get used to things like this again – the tiny chill-bumps on my forearms, my throbbing headache, and sore muscles – human things that most find undesirable, but I cherish.

When I get the strength back in my legs, I'll go in and take a shower – maybe some Tylenol.

When I get the strength back in my ego, I'll apologize to my wife for acting like a lunatic and storming off.

I just drove around. I didn't go anywhere really. To be honest I wanted to come home, but how can I storm out one minute and come back the next? Kind of loses it's emphasis if you can't even commit to it for at least a couple of hours.

So I drove up and down the coast line a few times, through the rice fields on the outskirts of the village. Finally, I just parked. I sat there for a good two hours, laying on the hood of my truck and trying to find some reasoning as to why what happened, happened – something to explain away this feeling of rejection, of inadequacy. A missed piece of information that could quiet the voice in my head that keeps telling me that still, after all these years, I'm not enough.

At one time, the outdoors was my escape, a place to hunt, a place to hide. I guess that's something that hasn't changed. Come to think of it, it was the same when I was a boy. One of the last memories I have of my mother is her scolding me, really laying into me when she found me asleep on the front porch in the middle of the night. At the time, I thought she was over-reacting. _I'd done it a hundred times. I was six. Nearly a man –_ ha! Now that I'm a parent, I figure she must have been worried out of her mind when I wasn't in my bed.

Anyway, once I'd calmed down and compartmentalized everything, I got back in my SUV and came home. When I saw Elena I instantly wanted her – that's when I decided to run. Running used to help me burn off cravings; surely it would help me with wanting my wife who wants my brother. I couldn't find my phone so I took Elena's for the music. I'm so tired – physically and mentally – that my normal playlist of Bon Jovi, Guns N Roses, and the Foo Fighters is just causing my headache to throb like a heart, right behind my eyes, so I'm listening to Elena's Itunes. She's more of a Taylor Swift, Ron Pope, Lily Allen kind of girl, but her 'I Love Stefan' playlist has some songs that I like. I felt a bit cynical – seeing those words, I Love Stefan – with my mind replaying her voice, that way, saying his name.

– Elena has feelings for Damon? Okay. I knew that already, right? Yes. That, I will not forget. Ever.

- My wife was imagining my brother while we were making love – that's the part that took hours to work through.

To be honest, I can't say I've actually processed it, but I'm dealing with it. Just recanting it for sake of reminding myself why I went for a run at all is bubbling the venom-like acid inside of me and I'm considering doing another mile when I feel that pull – our gravity – always pulling me to her.

Keeping my eyes closed, my fingers gripping the wood of the chair tightly, I can feel the muscles in my chest and torso reacting to the frequency between us – the closer she gets, the stronger the sensation grows, and the calmer I feel.

I'm still angry. I'm still hurt, but because of my love for her, just her presence is soothing my temper. I feel my too fast heart rate slow immediately from her fingertips against my face. When she sits on my lap, one foot on each side of the low sitting chair, my head ache disappears. Elena takes the earbud from my right ear then she's pressing her chest against mine, her cheek against my neck, and her hands on my shoulder blades – hugging me, holding me tightly while we listen to Ryan Adam's singing into our ears.

I love her.

I don't want to want to hug her back… but it's too hard to fight and I don't even hesitate returning her embrace, turning my face into hers, my chapped lips find her soft, smooth cheek.

"Stefan." She says in a whisper as the lyrics of the chorus begin. She waits for the line to finish – _I promise you that I will keep you safe from harm – love you all the rest of my days._ "I love _you_."

I don't reply. Not verbally. Instead, I slip my hand beneath the oversized, knitted sweatshirt she's wearing and graze my thumb up and down the small of her back. It's not that I don't believe her; I know that Elena loves me – but I also know that if we were to scale it, our relationship would be heavily weighted to one side. Years ago, back when Katherine came to Mystic Falls and Damon focused his bruised ego on Elena, that's how early on I realized that I love Elena much, much more than she loves me.

Last night's setback was just a reminder of a fact I already knew.

"I was so afraid you weren't going to come back." See. I love her much more than she can even understand if she actually thought, even for a second, that I wouldn't return. There is nothing – nothing – that can change my devotion for her.

In the past, I've attributed her fear of me leaving to the fact that she's lost so many people – her entire family, taken away from her without notice in horrible, tragic ways… me included. Twice. So when I start to feel a little aggravated as I'm reminded by the gaping difference in the way we love each other, I remind myself that Elena is still that seventeen year old girl who's world was stolen away from her that night on Wickery Bridge.

I tell her what I know she wants to hear – needs to hear. "Where would I go without you, Elena? You own me." It's true. I'm only me when I am with her. My heart resides in her chest. My soul, held by her body.

Alone, I'm empty.

I feel her smile against my shoulder as she somehow manages to move even closer against me; that frequency we share is so warm and sweet, tingling between us and into my fibers.

Sometimes, Elena just needs to be reminded that I am hers.

_Let it go, when I met you. All the clouds parted and your light came shining through._

"I'm sorry." I kiss her hair; inhale the scent of her into me. "I shouldn't have reacted like that. It's normal…" Even as I'm saying it I don't know if I believe my own words. "for you to have some residual feelings for Damon. And with him here -" Maybe I am as whipped as Damon says.

She speaks over me, just a bit louder than my quiet voice, "I wasn't thinking of him." I almost call her out on lying to me – there's no reason. I'll live with it. Just be honest… that's all I want from her. If she still has feelings for Damon – love, lust, whatever – just don't lie. "I swear to you, Stefan. I _never_ think of Damon. Not like that…" She sits back, low on my waist and that pressure I mentioned – nearly painful. Well, now it actually hurts. My wife is beautiful – uncombed, dark as night hair gently blowing over her shoulders, a few wild strands flying over her face. The sweater she's wearing is too big, hanging off of one shoulder – her tanned skin looks like caramel and I consider leaning up to taste it. "Not anymore." Elena's clear eyes have that look in them – like she loves me as much as I love her. "It was. God, Stefan that was the most horrible timing, I know. But you have to be believe me when I tell you I was not thinking of anyone but you. I love you."

I don't. I don't believe her.

"My mom's journals; she knew Damon." Just by the way she says the word _knew_, I already get what that means and it makes the flare of anger in Elena's eyes seem very fitting. I don't say anything – no comments at all – I just let Elena talk. Vent. By the time she finishes telling me about her and Bonnie staying up all night with the journals, she's much less angry.

"Are you going to confront him?" I ask – silently hoping she does. Maybe I'm biased when I say this, but sometimes it feels like she lets him get away with a lot more than she would allow from anyone else.

"Yes. I am. That's why we stayed up. I wanted to be sure that they hadn't met up again… later on, ya know."

The wind gusts against us, pushing her long hair into her face, the ends tickling my neck and shoulders, so I use my hands to gather the length of it at – cupping her hypnotizingly beautiful face in a bonnet of dark strands. When she gives me that smile of hers, the one that crinkles up her nose just a bit she's adorable… really, _the_ sweetest smile, I forget that I was mad at all and I just want to kiss her.

So I do.

I love her. The taste of her. The feeling of her hands on my chest, her breath on my skin.

That painful pressure, it's nearly debilitating.

"Elena!" Bonnie's voice has always had that cold-shower effect on me and I break away from the deepening kiss the instant it hits my eardrums. "Elena, come here!" She calls from the deck. With her forehead against mine, Elena gives a little laugh at the frustration on my face… I don't mean to but I roll my eyes, something like a sullen teenager, giving a loud sigh as she stands, leaving me with a quick kiss in my hair. "I found something!"

-Elena-

Trotting up the stairs, I have a huge smile on my face – so happy that Stefan came home to me. That we cleared everything up… just like before, after Denver, he didn't even question me. I could have showed him the picture of Damon with his arm hanging around my mom's shoulders, the journal entries, but Stefan didn't even ask for proof. My husband loves me unconditionally, doesn't he?

I run my fingers through Liam's soft curls, sitting in the high chair next to Bonnie at the outdoor table as he eats his honey-nut cheerios and Allie says close – fascinated by babies. "Ready for our girl's day out?" I ask, turning to my best friend, still wearing my Stefan-induced grin.

But the look on Bonnie's face instantly steals away my smile. Holding the red leather journal of my mother's to her chest, she says, "I found something."

_I knew I'd pay for what I did so many years ago. I've never told a soul about the week I spent playing pretend with him… as far as Grayson knows, he's the only man I've even been with. I've let him believe that lie for more than two decades! How could I expect to live a lie, to go on without ever paying for what I'd done?  
At 43, I've had a blessed life. I have two wonderful children, a husband who adores me - our marriage isn't perfect, but we've got a strong relationship – we love each other the same as we always have. I've got lots of great friends and a home in the town that I love so very much. Jeremy is quickly growing into a handsome young man, and I can already see that he's found a great love of art. Though his drawings may still be a bit juvenile, there is a lot of potential there. My beautiful boy is kind and sensitive – a blessing to call my son.  
Elena will be seventeen in a few months (we've started shopping for her Miss Mystic Falls pageant dress), like me, she's very involved in the community and has roots deeply wound in our home town. She's simply beautiful – intelligent, thoughtful, caring – I couldn't have designed a better daughter if I'd been given the chance. I truly have a great life.  
So why I had the fleeting thought of giving it all up, of leaving everything and everyone behind, the instant I saw those sapphire eyes, I'll never understand. Even though I know that it was just a passing fantasy, my conscience flying back to that week where I loved him and he loved me and leaving everything was something I was actually considering, I'm still deeply ashamed to admit that I felt a tremor of excitement course through me with the idea of running away with him.  
I felt the same attraction – raw, erotic, deeply-engrained – just like when I met him 24 years ago. But things are different now. Besides my blessed life and my beautiful marriage and family, I now understand what he is… mixed in with all those carnal desires was also an overwhelming sense of fear. I know what those blue eyes would look like if he saw my daughter. I know what his perfectly shaped teeth would morph into should he decide to be done with me. Even though I was aware of his condition back then, now I know what he truly is… Like Mikael, he's a monster, they all are. And like Mikael, I know he must have been here to find the doppelganger.  
I tried to leave and act like I didn't recognize him – but before I could get away from the bar and out of the swinging doors of The Grille, he'd made his way to me and I couldn't escape. My fear of him seemed to shock him and thrill him all the same… he used it to try and press me about Katherine and a grimoire, some stone or jewel. He even mocked me by asking if I'd consider going to the upcoming Founder's Party with him! He knew I was lying when I told him I didn't know anything that could help him. My heart rate must have given me away if not my shifting eyes and shaking hands.  
Finally letting me leave, I know he meant his words when he said, "Now don't go running home to that husband of yours and confessing all of our sins – I'm not quite ready for the town to know they've got a vampire problem and I'd hate to kill the prettiest cougar in Virginia."  
I didn't listen to him. I should have, but I didn't, and I called Jenna to come and stay with Jeremy while Grayson and I attend a quickly put together council meeting. I need to get my mind wrapped around what is happening… happening all over again! Abby, the only person I know who could possibly help Grayson and I protect Elena from being used as a doppelganger is no where to be found, and I'm going to have to explain to Grayson how I know a vampire at all!  
I just wish Elena would come on home – she was supposed to have been here more than an hour ago to 'spend some family time together', but she's not made it back from cheerleading practice and isn't answering her phone. The thought that he's found her already is keeping me from being able to concentrate… that's why I'm writing now, to try and focus my thoughts.  
I guess if we must, Grayson and I will pick up our family and run – of all the fates in the world, the last thing I ever want my daughter to know is the destruction that comes along with those monsters._

_Elena called. She went to some party just outside of town and needs a ride – Thank goodness nothing has happened to her. Grayson is on the phone with Zach Salvatore regarding getting us a shipment of some herb the mayor suggested we use, then we're going to get Elena… the plan is, we'll tell her about the vampires and her value to them.  
I'm terrified. I just have the worst feeling about tonight._

_****MORE TO COME****_

_**Follow me on Twitter IChooseStefan & please leave a comment/review.**_

_**THANKS SO MUCH FOR READING – HOPE YOU ENJOYED **___


	7. Chapter 7 - Adult Content

Chapter 7 – The Reaping

-Elena-

Despite how my morning started off, it's been a really great day. The March weather is warm and sunny, just like the majority of the year here, and I'm really excited about spending some time with Stefan tonight.

Now grabbing a quick lunch before we begin our shopping endeavor, Bonnie, Caroline, and I have laughed for basically 2 hours straight. The entire drive to Phuket was spent much like our high school days – a little gossip from Bonnie to catch Caroline and I up on the happenings of Mystic Falls, a lot of discussion about celebrities and fashion, and some venting about our boyfriends, only now they are our husbands – all set to a soundtrack of some of our favorite songs.

"Ok," Caroline says, hiding her mouth with her hands as she finishes chewing a large bite of salad, "so let's get a game plan together."

I sip my bottle of water and lean back into the wrought iron patio seat. Relaxing in the warm sun and the presence of my very best friends, I explain that the mall, though not very grand, has some really nice shops with original, hand-made items, and it's only about ten minutes away. "Then we'll meet up with the boys in Songkhla" It's my first night away from the kids with Stefan… let me tell you that I am counting the seconds. I love my babies. I love them so so much! But the idea of having Stefan alone and to myself for a few hours sounds like heaven to me!

Frowning at me like I should've read her mind, Caroline says, "No, I mean a time-line for when you guys are moving home!"

Home… I do want to move back home. But Stefan loves it here…

Taking a crouton from Caroline's plate, Bonnie asks, "Have you heard anything about that job in Roanoke?"

Roanoke? Virginia? I had no idea that Caroline and Klaus were planning to move back to Virginia… another reminder of how out of the loop I am.

"I did that phone interview, ya know." Caroline says to us both and, no I don't know, but I think I remember Stefan saying something about Caroline doing really well on an interview so I just smile like _of course, right._ "Everyone is on vacation for spring break, but I'm thinking I should hear from them by the time we get back to Texas."

"How exciting!" Bonnie squeals, hunching her shoulders and golf-clapping her hands. "Caroline Forbes, Channel twelve anchor!"

I'm still smiling, even though I'm feeling a little blue. My mild-sadness about not being in 'the-circle' increases ten-fold when Bonnie adds, "Kat and I are in Roanoke all the time! They have a Pink Berry and an Off 5th Avenue. It's going to be so fun, meeting up for dinner and drinks!"

They spend a bit of time agreeing about how fun their girls nights will be before realizing I'm not really able to take part in this conversation. Trying to pull me back into the loop, Caroline asks, "So, what do you think? November would be great! That gives you seven months." She's practically glowing when she says, "By that time little baby Klaus or Caroline will be here and you guys won't have to make the trip for our wedding or the holidays."

I nod. Wondering what Stefan will say about my desperate want to move back home to the states, Mystic Falls even, and I don't realize that Caroline is actually waiting on me to give her an answer – an actual month to expect us back.

Thankfully, Bonnie gets me off the hook without realizing it. "I'm really surprised Klaus is cool with the move."

"What? No! He's going to love it." I can't help but laugh at her honesty when Caroline sighs, "If there is anything Klaus enjoys, it's being the biggest fish in a small pond." She may love Klaus, but she's not at all jaded by it. "Though he's not crazy about being so close to Katherine and Damon."

Ugh. Damon. I'd actually forgotten about him – with all the laughing and the girl-time – but the instant I hear his name I'm angry all over again. I sat in the living room and waited for him to show up this morning. Fuming. Boiling. Holding that picture of my mom and a very Miami Vice-esque Damon Salvatore between my fingers like it was a grenade… ready to pull the pin and shove it down his lying throat the moment he came in the house.

Grayson woke up. Then Jeremy with Lola. Klaus and Caroline showed up with a huge platter of fresh fruit for breakfast. We ate. Then the twins were ready for a morning nap. Allie and I were playing Dance, Dance, Revolution – competing against Bonnie and Caroline with Klaus and Stefan surfing when FINALLY the front door opened and in came Katherine.

Mouth pressed into a straight line, arms crossed over her chest, wearing a tiny little, itsy bitsy, might-as-well-not-even-call-it-a-dress-because-its-basically-a-sort-of-long-shirt dress. She comes into the living room, pouting, brooding and says, "Where's Stefan?"

Jeremy hops up from the floor where he'd been playing with Grayson and Liam, seemingly concerned about Katherine's emotional state. I had to remind myself that not only is Bonnie friends with Katherine, but so is Jeremy – it was just so weird to see them interacting. Almost like an out of body experience.

Come to find out, their hotel room is infested with roaches.

I love Thailand. I do. For the most part, it's paradise. But it's a third-world country and if you don't have the ability to stay in a nice hotel, you had better be prepared for some not-so-grand conditions. I don't know where they are staying or why they didn't get a room at the B&B that we'd suggested like Caroline and Klaus did, but I do know that roaches in Thailand are about the size of a bird!

After quite a bit of coaxing from Jeremy being very brotherly with her, we finally got it out of her that she and Damon were in an argument and he'd gone to find them a better hotel because, "there is no way I am sleeping in that rats nest!"

I'm lost in my replay of the morning and my disappointment of not being able to confront Damon when Bonnie finishes explaining how Katherine _isn't so bad._ Not buying it, Caroline shrugs, "I don't know – you could be right, but I don't trust her." Looking at me, she adds, "And neither does Stefan."

So now I've got a choice to make – with Bonnie and Caroline both waiting on me to take their respective sides, I consider how I should respond. My first thoughts are of the weekend we spent together while we acclimated to being alive, being human, and words flow from my mouth. "She's changed, Caroline." Caroline's big eyed, wiggle-neck motion says _What?!_, silently. "Katherine had a really rough life. Things that none of us know about. Way before Stefan and Damon came into play." I think of the morning that she told me about Viktor, of her father beating her nearly to death, of him stealing away her daughter – my family. "Just like the rest of us, I think she deserves a second chance too."

"But, Elena!" Caroline whines, "She's so unfriendly and slutty!"

I laugh a little, obviously Caroline noticed her much-too-sexy clothing choices.

"Give her a break, Car." Bonnie frowns, her voice taking that tone she has – the better than thou one. The same one she used to use when she'd tell me I shouldn't be with Stefan because it was too dangerous… how I shouldn't let him into Allie's life. "She and Damon are really trying."

Ugh. Damon.

"Then why does she not want to hang out with us? Why does she seem to be keeping a secret? I mean, come on, Bonnie." Turning to me, she tries, "Elena, even you have to admit she's been acting strange. Distant. Right?" I don't want to answer. I don't want to turn against her. Katherine helped me work through the whole triangle thing. She came to find me after the ritual to wake Klaus. She helped me find Stefan and Allie. I wait too long to respond, so Caroline adds. "You know she's back at your house, wearing that ultra mini dress with her boobs all out and playing it up in front of Stefan and Klaus!"

Hmm. I hadn't thought of that…

"She's with Damon!" Bonnie says loudly, breaking a fry in half and dipping it into a vat of Ranch dressing. "And you're right. She is asking weird, Caroline." Looking at me, "and there are a lot of things that we don't know – that you guys don't know. So don't judge her. In her eyes, you two have perfect lives and absolutely no problems."

Caroline and I share a look – I'm not sure if it's surprise that Bonnie is taking up for Katherine or a look that says _yea, we kind of do._

I'm not pretending to be concerned about her when I ask, "What's going on with her, Bonnie? What's wrong?"

Pressing her lips into that sideways line of hers, I see Bonnie considering if she should tell us or not – weighing her loyalty to Katherine against her loyalty with us. Caroline sees it to and as always, is brutally honest when she smirks, "What? You can't tell _us_? Your best friends"

Exhaling through her nose, Bonnie takes a long beat – maybe to collect her thoughts, maybe to convince herself that she can trust us. "This has to be between us." She stares at us sternly, brow low. "Well, they are broke for starters, but Damon and Katherine want to have a baby." I smile. Damon and Katherine having a baby means an even bigger family for Stefan and I to merge ours with. In a fraction of a second, images of Christmas morning get-togethers, play-dates for the cousins, huge Thanksgiving dinners, all the kids trick or treating, and adults only nights out pass through my minds eye. "But they've been trying for more than two years and…" She shrugs, my happy images disappear.

-Stefan-

It's supposed to be a guys day. I tried to tell Elena that guys don't have guys days, but she and Caroline insisted so I gave up. I don't know what they expected we'd do, but we're in the same places we were when they left this morning. Klaus is reading something or surfing the net on his Ipad on the deck. Jeremy hung out with Katherine until she went to take a nap in the room the twins were set up in, now he's watching The Italian Job and I've been on my laptop trying to find another hotel option for tonight.

Elena, Caroline, Bonnie and the kids had barely been gone ten minutes, I bet they hadn't even dropped them off at Mae's house when Hotel Charmous called Klaus to cancel our reservations – a water pipe broke and the only decent hotel in Songhkla is out of service. Determined not to let our first night without Allie and Grayson go to waste, I've been scowering to find a suitable replacement for the last few hours.

I've got a pretty decent lead on a place called Suites La Songhkla, but they don't have a website and I can't find my phone. That fact alone – the no internet reservations thing, it says a lot, but this night is happening and, really, you can't go wrong with a suite, right?

Jeremy and Klaus don't even look at me, too focused or maybe half-dozing, as I search to find my Iphone. Before they left, Allie was playing some Finger Painting game on it. This happens a lot – Elena says I should stop giving Allie my phone – but usually it's no big deal and I find it when I find it. But today, I'm aching with that unreleased pressure and clouded with thoughts of hotel rooms and my wifes body, so if I have to turn this whole place upside down, I will find my phone.

I've gone through the kitchen, looked beneath the dining table, made a quick lap around the house, searched the deck, and now I'm on my hands and knees to look beneath the living room furniture when Jeremy finally seems to notice I'm in the room. "What are you doing, man?" He asks, his voice slurred a bit, telling me he's more dozed and already a little drunk, rather than focused.

No luck – I hop up to my feet, regretting it the instant that sharp, stomach churning pain jerks through my abdomen. I've never in my entire life had this problem… so much pressure that moving quickly actually hurts. Through a grimace that I pray he doesn't ask about, I say, "My phone. Allie had it."

"Oh, dude. I think it's in there next to the porta-cribs." Through a yawn, he adds, " I saw it when I was helping Bonnie pack the twins' overnight bags."

I'm already halfway down the hall by the time he finishes – going to get my phone, I'll call that hotel, and the second I get Elena alone, I'm taking care of this ache.

The door is cracked open just the slightest, reminding me that Katherine is napping. I stop for a moment and actually consider waiting until she wakes up – trying to be courteous. But then I remember that stunt she pulled in the kitchen and decide I don't care if she doesn't get rested.

Opening the door quietly, I step into the dimly lit room just as one of the chase scenes from The Italian Job gets started. It's loud and the surround sound is easily heard – screeching tires and sirens – so I push the door almost shut then pivot in place.

I regret my decision of not waiting until Katherine woke up the instant I see her – laying on top of the aqua blue comforter, one leg straight, one leg bent with her knee up and that very short dress hiked up. My eyes are frozen. Stuck on the lace of her panties curved around her flat, slightly concaved pelvis – my mind replays her words… how wet I made her.

I swallow hard. Close my eyes. Fist my hands at my sides.

Take a few deep breaths to clear my mind of her words and her mouth and memories of her – warm, lavender, wet.

I think I'm okay – set back on my path of finding my phone – so I open my eyes again and take another step or two towards the porta cribs on the other side of the bed, but the she sighs and rustles a bit. I force my eyes to stay on the painting hanging next to the closet door, but I can see her in my peripheral vision – bending her other leg, now both knees are up.

I wait. Afraid she's about to wake and find me in here… but she stays still.

Silently, I release the breath I was holding. Looking to the floor, I spot my white Iphone and quickly move to grab it – ignoring the pressure against the fabric of my jeans when I bend to get it.

I'm almost out of the room – escaped. Guilt-free. Innocent. At the foot of the bed, a yard away from the door. Then she says my name and I think she's awake and saying my name, but I look to her, ready to explain why I'm in here – she's still asleep.

I feel my eyebrows knit together… maybe she didn't say my name. Maybe I imagined it.

"Steeefaan" Katherine sighs, scraping her teeth against her full, ruby red bottom lip with the f sound of my name.

She's dreaming of me…

Katherine is dreaming about me. I look at her face for a long moment – relaxed, beautiful as she's always been. Then the curling of her fingers against the bare skin on her curved waist steals my attention. I watch her fingers curl in, the out – flat on her stomach. In. Out. Flat.

I don't think I blink at all as her wrist starts to bend, dragging the tips of her fingers across her skin, over the lace of her panties, then beneath them.

"Steff…" She arches her back just so, her fingers moving lower.

My conscience is screaming at the top of its lungs – GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS ROOM, STEFAN! But I can barely hear it over the sound of my heart pounding.

"Mmm, Stefan." I watch her. I'm not breathing. Silently standing as still as a statue – just as hard.

I watch Katherine's fingers moving beneath her lacy red panties and I want so badly to climb onto the bed, right between her feet, and get a better look. "Stefan." She sighs my name again, her fingers moving quicker, her back arching higher. I can't think straight… everything feels so wrong, but good. I step forward, my hands gripping the wooden footboard so tightly that my knuckles crack.

I'm talking to myself in my head – debating.

_Just touch her leg. It'll be fine. No one will know._

_Turn around. Two wide strides and you'll be out the door._

_Maybe you could just move that lacy bit of fabric out of the way… _

_Close your eyes. Back out of the room. Elena… Elena. _

_She looks like Elena. Maybe it is Elena. That could be your excuse if you get caught._

_Elena. You're wife. Elena. Elena. Elena._

I turn away, just half way and she moans, "Fuck me, Stefan." And I turn back to her.

_Just ease the curiosity. Touch her. Slip your fingers under her panties and feel for yourself how wet she is… go on._

_Elena. _

"Stefan." Katherine says my name again, my eyes still intensely watching her hand… it stops. When she says my name again, it's in that evil giggle… "Stefan."

Snapping me back to reality, I look up at her face and find her mischievous, shining eyes looking right at me, a playful smile on her face. I wish I looked more angry – more pissed off… less hungry. Less aroused. "Come here, Stefan." Removing her hand from beneath the lace, she looks down my body, her smile widening when she sees that her little show has had the desired effect… I'm about to break.

My whole body is hurting, every muscle flexed – my teeth clenched so tight that I fear my jaw may be hinged.

Holding her hand up to me, she wiggles her wet, shiny fingers at me and says, "Taste what you do to me."

I don't know how, but I leave her and her body and her wet fingers on the bed and finally breathe once I'm in my bedroom – drained. Much much too pressurized.

I'll just do it myself. Normally, I'm not too keen on jerking off but I'm seriously about to crack – in more ways than one. I close my eyes and picture Elena's face… or maybe it's Katherine's face. Shaking my head, I try again… picturing Elena's mouth, her perfect lips… could be Katherine's mouth. I want to be angry at Katherine for her little show and her damn mind games, but I can't get past wanting her right now.

"Fuck." I say outloud to no one. This won't work. I can't picture another girl. I can't imagine Katherine… My only other option is harsh, but it will work – and in a matter of just a few seconds, I'm completely naked and stepping into the tiled shower – turning on the cold water and nearly convulsing when it flows over my overheated body.

-Caroline-

Stefan sent me and Elena a text message with our new hotel rooms and to be honest, their pretty disgusting. We're going to meet the boys at some karaoke bar in just over an hour, so we came back here to change into the clothes we bought, and I cant help but wonder if Stefan randomly picked this place. It's old. It's gross… it's outdated and dilapidated.

"It's fine, Car." Elena smiles, glancing at me through the mirror as she checks out her reflection. She looks amazing in the little black dress she bought. She keeps pulling at the hem of the skirt, a tell-tale sign that it's shorter than she's used to.

"Yea," Bonnie sighs, laying on the bed to fasten her very tight button fly jeans. "It's no Chateau Marmont, but you can slum it for a night, can't you Mrs. Mikaelson?"

I laugh, checking my phone as a text comes in. It's Klaus.

Klaus: We're about 20 m out. FYI Stefan is moody, Jeremy is drunk. Katerina is in a pretty good mood while Damon is MIA.

"Damon is still not back." I tell Elena – I know she's looking to ask him about his relationship with her mom, but I'm glad he's not with the guys because I don't want our last night to be ruined.

"Good." Bonnie sighs, "I didn't really want to deal with him."

Deal with him- that means she didn't want to do what Elena asked of her. She said it's been years since she's done any magic at all, but I don't know if I believe her. Why would you let that kind of power go to waste? Besides, this is for a good cause – forcing Damon to be honest for the first time in his life will be a nice change!

"Tomorrow, then? Please, Bonnie?" Elena asks, straightening her hair with my flat iron.

Bonnie hesitates for a moment, then finally nods – agreeing.

"Oh, and Klaus says Stefan is in a bad mood and Jeremy is already drunk."

Simultaneously, their relaxed, happy expressions turn sour at the state of their husbands.

-Stefan-

I guess she knows me better than I realized, because I'm not even parked yet and she's texting me.

Elena: We're on our way. Please try and have a good time tonight. Loosen up. For me?

I've got Damon run off to BFE, leaving me with his psycho girlfriend who's fucking with my mind at every chance she gets and I'm supposed to loosen up? Trying to ready myself, I sit in the driver's seat while Klaus and Jeremy get out, Katherine grazing her nails across the back of my neck as she exits the back seat.

Loosen up. Have a good time.

I follow Klaus to the bar; some song by Madonna blaring into the karaoke bar makes me cringe when the singer tries a high note.

"Beer?" Klaus asks, removing a few bills from his leather wallet.

_Loosen up. Have a good time. For me. Damon…_ I know she had an explanation, but still. _Damon. Katherine. _

If I'm going to do as Elena asks and loosen up, for her, I'm going to need a little assistance. "Everclear."

Ten minutes later, Klaus and I are playing quarters while Katherine and Jeremy are dancing. At one time, I was pretty sure I was the champion of this game, but I'm losing by a pretty large margin, tossing back my third shot of this round when Elena's hands slide down my shoulders and onto my chest, leaving a kiss on the side of my face.

Klaus makes yet another toss, not at all unfocused by Caroline now sitting in his lap, and I'm pouring my fourth when I realize I didn't feel Elena… the frequency. Holding the bottle upright, I see it's nearly 2/3 gone and at 151 proof. I don't know why that makes me smile, but I actually lose some of the liquor down my chin when I throw the fourth shot back because I can't stop smiling. It's good timing though, because as I'm wiping the liquid off of my smiling mouth with the back of my hand, Elena looks at me from the bar, smiling because I'm smiling, and it tightens the muscles in my chest… ok. I'm not that drunk.

"Stefan, my friend," Klaus laughs as I stand, wobble on my sea legs. "I was just getting in the zone." I'm just drunk enough that I feel amazing. That slack joint, loose muscle point of intoxication that people drink to be able to feel.

I just wave my hand at him and start off towards Elena and that very sexy black dress she's wearing. Though she's talking with Bonnie, leaned back against the bar, she watches me coming to her – smiling. Have I mentioned how much I adore this woman? How much I love her smile?

"Hey." I cup her face, kiss her forehead as she wraps her arms around my waist. "How was your girls day?"

Leaving a soft kiss on my lips, "Good. How was the guys day?" I shrug. She already knows I was pissy… somehow.

"You look really…" I'm too drunk to think of a good adjective, but I've got to tell her how nice she looks. "You're very pretty, Elena."

-Elena-

I'm exhausted, but unlike my life-of-the-party husband, I am not drunk.

From the Bon Jovi duets with Caroline, to dancing with Bonnie and the drinking games with Klaus and Jeremy, Stefan really loosened up tonight. I was having fun too, until the Caroline and Stefan reunion show started and they spent a good hour telling _back in the day_ stories. Everyone, including me. laughed and listened as they recanted their times together –bantering back and forth like two old friends - but in the back of my mind I had to keep reminding myself that if Stefan can let me saying Damon's name slide, then I can let this go too… this and the garage face-holding, standing too close, thing.

OH! And the hoping on his back and kissing his face… yea. I'm going to let those things go.

Not that I listen to a lot of Neil Diamond, but I may never listen to 'Sweet Caroline' ever again… I can guarantee you, the instant I hear the opening bars, I'll forever hear "OH MY GOD, STEF." Yea, Caroline called my husband 'Stef'. "This is our song, remember! Back in the day!"

Then next thing I know, they're singing to each other from across the table – her swaying back and forth, Stefan conducting some imaginary musician with his glass of vodka. High fives and goofy faces, loud 'bum bum bummmm's while Klaus and I watched from the side. It seemed like that song went on forever, but the whole time they just laughed and sang and pointed at each other like _Hey, this part, remember!_ But it did come to an end… where I learned that _back in the day_, she changed Stefan's ring tone to that song for her incoming calls and texts. Wonderful. You have no idea how I love hearing about their cute-sie memories… ugh.

Just before we split up – Bonnie, Jeremy, Caroline and Klaus in their room, Stefan and I to ours – Bonnie hugged me and said "Stefan was so fun tonight!"

Yea. He was. My Stefan has always been fun… I'll never admit it, but I've learned a huge lesson tonight. I do not like sharing my Fun Stefan with anyone.

Maybe I'm tipsy, buzzing - that's what Jeremy calls it, but Stefan is flat out intoxicated. Falling back into a worn out blue and green plaid,_ understuffed_ armchair, the only seat in our 'suite'. Stefan is checking out the room. It's very small, the bed takes up most of the floor space and the entire place seems to be frozen in the late 50's. I'm not sure what he's looking for exactly, I guess he's making sure the place isn't as low-grade as it appears to be, but he's checked the window locks, the shower, in the little closet, looked in all the drawers of the rickety chest, and now he's attempting to peek under the orange satin comforter; wobbling on his usually ultra-balanced legs, and hitting his knees instead of just bending at the waist to see under the bed. He gives an _oops, I'm drunk_ chuckle from a prone position, his fingers pressing into the beat down, but oddly enough, clean tan carpet.

I have to say something… I was going to let it go, his Caroline and Stefan reunion party – but this is the last straw.

Trying to look nonchalant, I begin unstrapping my heels and say, "So…" Isn't that how all naggy-wife comments start? With a too cool, too easy, high pitched, _so_? "You and Caroline…" The thought that he was putting on a show to get back at me for my wrong-name mishap is fueling me to say these things, even though I know I'm wrong. "You guys must have had a lot of fun _back in the day._"

Stefan catches the way I say 'back in the day', stealing their phrase. _Back in the day we used to do this, remember, Stefan, back in the day. Caroline, remember when, back in the day._

Still on the floor, he sits back on his calves and gives me a half smile – condescending maybe. He doesn't say anything, just a slight, sideways nod. I'm having trouble with the ankle strap, so I cross my legs – nearly kicking Stefan in the process as there's very little space - and lean onto my knees in order to reach it better. Stefan's cloudy gaze seems to get stuck on my cleavage for a long moment before he realizes he's staring – his smile widens, raising his line of sight to my eyes. Not the least bit ashamed of being caught looking at me like that.

"Well," I decide I'd better try and deflect – obviously he's caught onto my forced cool-girl tone. "You should maybe be careful with how you are around her. Klaus may get jealous."

Pushing my hand away from my ankle, Stefan gives a huff of a laugh "_Klaus_ may get jealous?" – easily unfastening the ankle strap and removing my shoe. His voice is light, telling me that I'm not as good of an actress as I'd thought I was, and thankfully, my jealous streak will not be starting an argument tonight.

Caught red-handed, I lean back into the chair as Stefan sits my shoeless foot on the floor and picks up the other to unfasten it.

Exhaling loudly, I almost sound apologetic when I say, "It just drives me crazy to think of you and… well anyone." Come to think of it, I am apologizing. I asked him to loosen up and have a good time and he did just that. Then I get that jealous knot in my stomach and it is me who was too uptight.

Now barefoot, my heels on the floor beside Stefan's knees, I close my eyes when his thumbs begin to massage the soles of my feet – resting my head back against the chair, tension pouring out of my muscles with each firm press into my skin.

"It shouldn't." Stefan's voice is warm – that sexy rasp he gets when he's way past tired.

"Oh?" I half laugh, his hands squeezing the back of my calf, deep caresses into my ankle and heel. "and why not?"

He doesn't miss a beat, like he doesn't even have to think of a response. "Because you know you own me, Elena." I exhale a near-silent moan, but I don't know if it's from his deft hands working at my leg or hearing that he's mine. I love knowing that Stefan Salvatore belongs to me. I own him. "You aren't even really suspicious; you just like to hear me say it."

I don't know why I'm surprised that he knows my secret – how I fill with pride each and everytime he says those three words. I guess I'm just caught off guard by hearing him call me out on it - opening my eyes, I find him taking in the length of my legs – his warm, green gaze moving up to my thighs… all the way up, then back down, before meeting my eyes.

I swallow hard.

I know that look.

He keeps eye contact with me, leaning over a bit and kissing just inside of my knee.

Just to make him say it again, I lie – "I don't own you, Stefan." My hand lifts automatically as his trail of kisses moves further up my thigh, my fingers in his hair, the other hand gripping onto the arm of the chair like I may fly away.

He kisses on my left thigh, just below the hem of my dress, "Yes, Elena," turning his head between my legs, the barely-there stubble on his chin scrapes against my skin, then he sucks on my opposite thigh for a moment – his hands running up the sides of my hips, beneath my skirt, scooping beneath my ass and pulling my body forward a bit when he says, "you own me."

I feel his fingers, callused, rough… so talented, hook onto my panties, pulling them down and lifting my thighs a bit at the same time – all the while, his hot mouth is sucking and biting and licking, moving higher and higher. My lungs are fighting to find enough air as I try to focus, my teeth holding onto my bottom lip.

Suddenly shy, I don't know… but I push my knees together – forcing him to bring his face back a bit and keeping him from removing my lacy, black underwear. Stefan's eyes are green like an emerald, shiny, focused, sharp – so beautiful looking up at me in that way, the way that makes me nervous and excited and empowered all at the same time.

I feel like we look at each other for a long time – him looking up at me through his eye lashes, his tongue licks his bottom lip into his mouth. Me gazing down at him as if I'm trying to read his mind. Finally, he smiles. It's a wicked, dangerous grin that gives him an ominous look… hungry, maybe – and I know what he's wanting to do… to me.

I want this. Oh my God how badly I want this… but I'm nervous! Terrified! It's been… it's been so long I can't remember the last time I let him do this to me, but I remember coming so hard that I thought my body was going to break in half and leaving scratches on the back of his neck. And that was after he promised he'd go easy on me – from the look in his burning green eyes and that sexy, liquefying grin, I know that is not the plan. I may actually fracture if I let him.

Swallowing hard, again, I nearly choke on the air shaking out of my lungs as I say the only thing I can think of. I hope I don't sound as overzealous as I sound, adding a laugh as I say, "I need a shower."

His eyes move to my mouth, my breasts, down my stomach, between my thighs, then back up in the same order – before he finally says, "I like the way you taste." And his finger has slid inside of me, my body jerking in place and gasping out his name as my panties fall to the floor. He watches my face; the prideful half-smile of his is enough incentive to keep me from looking away as my lips begin to shake and my eyelids flutter. Stefan enjoys watching me – taking in my reaction to him, to what he does to me.

"Stefan." I say it again, "Stefan", this time more of a breathy whisper- a shiver going through me when he pushes into me again – two fingers now, stretching me in the most splendid way. Warm and wet, his mouth is working at my thigh once more, just the fingertips of his free hand gliding against my thigh, down my calf. He cups my right foot – kisses moving down my thigh. A sharp, shiver inducing bite near the curve of my ass as he places the arch of my foot on his shoulder. In this position, I'm completely at his mercy.

The thought alone nearly makes me come for him – just knowing what Stefan can do to me, will do to me, and I'm dripping.

Hesitating, drawing out my ache for him, he's so close that I feel him exhale against my hot, wet skin. My heart rate spikes, my blood rushing through my body, electrified by our frequency. I think I'm going to tell him to stop, but what comes out of my mouth just eggs him on, "I don't own you."

Kiss, "I'm." Lick, "Yours." Using his free hand, he pushes my left leg – moving it all the way against the arm of the chair so he can get even further up my thigh. I feel his lips against my lips when he says, "You own me" and his deep voice reverberates inside of my clinching muscles – then his tongue is slipping beneath my clit, swirling around it in slow, gentle circles and my head is back against the chair and his fingers are going in and out of me slowly... I feel every inch pushing in, every inch coming out.

"You love me?" Somehow it becomes a game. A game led by me. I just keep egging him on, making him tell me, show me he's mine. His answers are inaudible, a groan against me or a nod of his head that trails his tongue up and down, licking me.

I moan out, "I love you. I love you. Stefan. I love you." each time he sucks my flesh into his mouth. "Stefan. Please." I'm begging him to stop as I can't catch my breath, to keep going, to love me, to never leave me. All the while my hands are making a mess of his hair – now just a sexy mess between my fingers.

Removing his fingers, he presses his mouth against me, - slurping my wetness, licking and sucking all at once, forcing me to cry out in a raw moan, "You're mine. You're mine."

His answer vibrates through me, just a deep groan into my most sensitive area – like a long, hard, vibrating bass drop directly into my body.

"Don't love anyone else." I'm pleading. Breathless, senseless. There are literally tears in my eyes, it feels that good. I can't close my mouth! Every time my lips nearly meet, he presses his face into me further, moving his tongue inside of me – slippery and smooth, flicking, then sucking again. In between uncontrollable, inaudible whimpers and cries, I'm saying things like, "Please, Stefan. Don't leave me." It seems like I'm whispering, "I'd die. I love you", but I know that's not right – my moaning is increasing in volume as he picks up speed and force – truly devouring me. "I. I. Mmm. I can't take it." I try to shift away, afraid of how rigid my body is, but Stefan's hands wrap around my thighs and I can't move. From the deep frown on my face to the flexing of my feet, I'm tensed… nearly ready, nearly there. I lose all sense of control, my hands fisting in his hair, pressing his tongue deeper in to me, crying out his name, grinding my hips against him.

I may shatter.

-Damon-

She's drunk and sexy as hell, while I'm tired and burnt out from spending the day studying and giving her the cold shoulder. I just get so fucking sick of her bullshit sometimes – like I can help that we don't have millions of dollars like Klaus, or that we haven't banged out a couple of kids, yet. Fucking-A, we're working on it. Give me a damn break. In another couple of years, I'll be an attorney and then I'll give her everything she can possibly ask for… but until then, she's just going to have to manage.

She was waiting for me in the lobby and the instant I saw her, I knew she was still mad at me for dropping her at Stefan and Elena's this morning. Thankfully, when Katherine is pissed AND drunk, she's usually horny and I spotted that sparkle in her eyes pretty quickly.

My one claim of success is that Katherine swears I'm the best she's ever had. Of course I am. With her, I fuck like my life depends on it. I guess it does, I mean, I can't give her anything else… and really, who else would put up with me?

"Go." Caroline pushes Klaus through the door and into the hallway as Katherine and I pass, heading to our room. The walls of this cheap, dirty hotel are about as insulated as a paper cup and Elena's voice is carrying. "Go back to the bar." She's smiling, laughing even, but I think it's more of a nervous thing.

Bonnie adds, "We'll call you when they fin– I mean, when it's over."

Giving a fake look of shock, Klaus laughs, "And why do you get to stay and have a listen?"

It seems like a really long ways from the room Caroline and Bonnie are sharing, past Stefan and Elena's room, finally to our door. I hear Caroline say, "It's not a gift, Klaus!" and punctuating the sentence with the quick closing of the door just as Bonnie says with a loud laugh, "What in God's name is he doing to her?"

At first, it was quiet – like maybe they were arguing, or Elena might have been talking to him from the bathroom or something, but then there comes a point where that sound is unmistakable. We passed Jeremy on the stairs, us going up, him going down, and his nauseated expression now makes a lot of sense. I think he might have figured it out before the rest of us – the noises bleeding through the walls were coming from his sister and orchestrated by his brother-in-law.

"Maybe we should go." Katherine says through her fingers, now covering her smile – her black lined, nearly black eyes are glittering with naughty thoughts as I unlock the door to our hotel room.

Stepping aside and holding the heavy door, I watch her saunter by me – I've been hot for her perfect little body since 1864 and if anything, my want for Katherine only increases. "Or, we can stay."

It doesn't matter that I haven't seen her since I dropped her off at Stefan and Elena's this morning or that we spent the majority of last night fighting like dogs – she gives me a sexy, challenging look over her shoulder and I know she's game.

Katherine and I are just dysfunctional enough that we function on the same level – we argue, fight, hell she even slaps and hits me when I really set her off. Her petite little hands hitting me with all the strength she can muster stings rather than hurts – I like it, to tell you the truth. I get off on how fucking crazy she is.

"Think you can get me to sound like that?" She challenges; unzipping her skirt as I watch her sweet, sexy little wrist slide down her perfect ass. Elena's moans setting the tone. I'll be honest with you. Hearing her, or any other woman, it's fucking sexy.

In just a couple of steps, I'm behind her, pressing myself against her, my hands gripping her hips and she's removing her top. "I think we can do better than that." I tease, cupping her breast.

I'm kissing her neck, her jawline, wanting her – willing her to bend over the bed so we can get this started – when Katherine sighs, "We could have all of that, you know?"

I don't know. "Hmm?" I ask, pushing her hair off of her back and kissing between her shoulder blades.

"They look like us, too" She breathes into my ear, leaning back into me and using her hand to guide my mouth to hers.

I break away from our kiss when her hand slips beneath the waist of my pants, fingers wrapping around me – tugging. It takes a few moments for me to remember what she said. "Who?" I ask, my hand holding her hip, the other fisting in the back of her hair and forcing her to bend.

Swirling her ass against me, I'm unzipping when she throws a bucket of cold water over me with the names, "Allie, Grayson."

Like I've been electrocuted, I jump away from her body – atleast five feet of distance in a fraction of a second.

As if she's said nothing out of the ordinary, Katherine comes to me, presses her bare skin against my body and begins kissing my neck, "We could take them." Kissing some more and I'm having strange convulsions in my stomach – like my body doesn't know if I should still be hard or if I want to throw up. "We could run away with them, have a family."

"No." I've never said my brothers name with a woman's hand caressing my groin and her tongue on my nipple… "Stefan." I mean, _what about Stefan? You don't think he'd come after us? You think he'd be okay with you and I kidnapping his children?_ But it just his name comes out.

It's even more weird that Elena is saying it from the room next to ours at the same time.

"I want you. And I want babies." Katherine moves back to look into my eyes when she insults me, "but I can't have both, can I?"

Then she's walking away from me and I want to fucking scream at her… but she's right. I denied it as long as I could, even convinced myself that it was probably Katherine who was falling-short on the whole conceiving thing – told myself that it had something to do with the fact that she gave birth back when the medical field consisted of wheat grass and dirty water. But, I can't deny that I'm the broken piece after that fuck of a doctor looked us right in the face and left no doubt – _I'm sorry, Mr. Salvatore, but after our testing, it was found that your sperm count is low. Very low, in fact._

I must look disappointed – I don't know, but Katherine gives an evil laugh as she looks me over, still up against the wall where she left me, Elena getting even louder.

I stew in it for a moment – Katherine's cruel words and Elena's orgasm - a reminder of how much of a failure I am.

When Elena starts to giggle, the bed squeaking, calling out my brothers name in a playful voice, I slam my fist against the wall a few times – the echoing booms silence her. Dead silence. Embarrassed, blushing face, silence.

Then a proud, laughing, "Sorry" from Stefan.

From the bathroom, Katherine reminds me that we only have sex on schedule now, "I'm not ovulating for another 24 hours, Damon." Until I can get her pregnant, I'm pretty much a useless to her.

I guess my interrupting Stefan and Elena put a stop their party for two, as it's been quiet for the last half hour or so. I'm ignoring Katherine again, she's acting like nothing happened – she'd didn't verbally castrate me or suggest kidnapping my niece and nephew…

Nearly asleep, a smile threatens to curl onto my face when I feel Katherine move against me, slipping beneath the blanket and clinging to my side. Late at night like this, we seem like a normal couple with normal issues and not the two most fucked up people in the world. I let myself imagine what life could've been like back in 1864 if Katherine would have actually been who she said she was and Stefan would have stayed out of the picture all together, when Katherine's sexy whisper floats into my ear, "I love you, Damon. But I will have a baby." I open my eyes, the sound of her words are ten times more threatening when she's speaking quietly, "No matter what."

****MORE TO COME****

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – THE REAPING**

-Stefan-

I read her text from the driver's seat, leaning against the door with my head resting on my fist, then cut my eyes over to see her repressing a smile.

Elena: I'm still mad at you.

Elena is attentively looking at the line of parked cars in front of us as if it's incredibly interesting – like we haven't been sitting in this traffic jam for more than twenty minutes. I can't help but smile too. I mean, first of all, my wife is gorgeous in any light, but there's something about sunlight and the color of Elena's hair and skin that makes her look… well, unreal I guess. Elena is stunningly beautiful. The first time I really saw her, I mean truly got to look into her eyes and the first time I felt the frequency we share was in sunlight like this – the kind that reflects in the chestnut brown of her eyes and catches the auburn streaks in her hair. Just thinking about running into her in that graveyard makes me want to lean over and kiss her.

I woke up smiling – holding my wife against me. We went to breakfast with her friends and family, holding hands - we talked quietly with one another while the group was loud and, if you asked me, a bit annoying. I've not stopped grinning since I woke up this morning – it's been more than three hours, an hour of which I've spent driving and listening to her and Caroline hash out the wedding in November. Klaus adds his opinion here and there, but I've been mostly quiet, holding Elena's hand and just being happy.

If you know me at all, you understand how peculiar that is – being happy… smiling. Come to think of it, I've been smiling for two years now.

I'm just about to text back and tell her that the only reason everyone gave her such a hard time about her 'vocal abilities' as Bonnie called it, is because they're jealous that she's so hot, but she sends me a second, less flirty text before I can respond.

Elena: We don't have a song.

We've been over this already once today – when I argued that we do, she was somehow able to convince me that we indeed do not have a song. That Matt Nathanson song from the founders party – it was our first dance together. Elena said it didn't count because we ended up arguing about me being too secretive before the song was over. Fair point. So I bring up the first decade dance and a handful of songs from the 50's that we danced to – _Someone was trying to kill me. Like every other dance we went to. So that cancels them all out._ Again, I couldn't really disagree – Klaus was after her at her junior year dance, then Ester at the 20's era.

The Original's ball? Nope, we weren't even together. _You were pretending to hate me, remember? _True. But I was doing a terrible job… I can't tell you how badly I wanted to graze my fingertips against the side of her face, down the skin of her bare shoulders. It was such a strong desire I had to keep my hands shoved deep in my pockets for most of the night… my only relief came at the hand of a well-timed partner exchange during the waltz.

When Klaus brought her to Naples? Again, no. It was _pretend_ and _too sad knowing that the perfect weekend would be over way too soon._

It would've been horrible if she'd agreed, but I even brought up some of those disco songs we danced to in Charlottesville – luckily, Elena shot them down. _We were sneaking around, Stefan…_

That Ed Sheeran song from the music festival in Dallas? Elena said she wasn't herself. How can I disagree? Half of her memories had been stolen away… so okay, we don't have a song.

This morning, still half-asleep, she brought up the Neil Diamond song that Caroline likes so much. The instant Caroline said, "Remember this song, Stefan? It's our song!" I knew I was going to have trouble with Elena but that Everclear had me way too off kilter to properly react. Truth is, it's not _our _song. Like I told Elena this morning, it became _our _song by accident. Caroline and I were still in Italy and there was a relentless guy who wanted to date her. By relentless, I mean he just did not understand the word no, in any language. But he owned the only decent bar in the town we were staying in and since we didn't have any other options for alcohol - we were pretty much living off of liquor at that time, with both of us going through our own nightmare in relation to Elena and Klaus - we kept going to his place. One night when we showed up, the regular patrons that we were, the guy started playing this song over the surround sound and Caroline says, _Oh thanks, that's mine and Stefan's song. _

And that's it. That's the big story of how 'Sweet Caroline' became _our song. _Really, it's how we started pretend dating… then really dating. Ok. So maybe it is our song. But it's not a romantic thing in anyway – if anything, it's hilarious to think of that poor, middle-aged man trying so hard to get with a vampire who was so uninterested in him that she wouldn't even feed on him.

"Elena, tell Klaus that it's tradition that the groom not see the bride." Caroline is set on this… they've been bickering about it for a long while now. It's a good thing she didn't ask me because I happen to agree with Klaus – they're already married. What's the point? Elena seems to think it's a good tradition to follow and is explaining to Klaus as I text her back.

Stefan: We have a thousand songs. Every song, ever written.

I read it twice before sending.

It sounds like a line – maybe a bit too romantic for a playful texting session while waiting in traffic with a semi-argument going on in the backseat – but it's the truth. What we have is incredibly unique… it's what everyone dreams of having, what poets and song writers are hoping for. It sometimes bothers me that Elena doesn't seem to understand that, but I have to remind myself that this is all she's ever known… she was only seventeen when we met. Other than me, she's only had a couple other relationships. Elena doesn't have much to compare to. Just her high school boyfriend, Matt, and Damon.

"Klaus. Seriously." Caroline groans – I feel the SUV rock a bit and imagine she's most likely frustrated and turned away from him, pouting I'm sure. "This is non-negotiable."

"Everything is negotiable." Klaus responds, sounding just as peeved but speaking through a forced chuckle. "Do I even need to be there or are you planning on an understudy?"

In order to intervene, Elena has turned around in her seat, now facing Caroline and Klaus, but I feel her eyes graze over me when she reads my message. Despite the warmth of the frequency we share, I keep my eyes ahead of me.

"If you don't want to be there, I'm sure I could find someone else to wear the suit. He'd be as into the wedding as you are!"

Interrupting, Elena offers, "What if Stefan takes you out for a bachelor party, Klaus?", her hand finding its way to my shoulder – a silent apology for committing me to something she knows I will hate. "The ladies can have our night of spa treatments and wine while you guys go and do… guy things."

The farm truck in front of me starts to move, so I turn on the engine in hopes that we're actually going to get going and the radio starts up again.

Caroline is being extra crass, stopping her rant about Klaus not being _invested in the wedding_ to complain about the music. "Ugh, Stefan. What is it with you and this old music?"

"It's the only English radio station out here, Car." Elena explains, now back in her seat and texting. "The Golden Oldies are our only choice until we get closer to town."

We don't move more than fifteen feet before we're completely stopped once again.

"Well it's horrible. I hate The Beatles."

Klaus gasps. Literally gasps – a big, unplanned, inhale of air – then a loud "What?!"

I can't help but laugh, though I try to cover my face with my hand like I'm frustrated with the traffic as the argument begins to pick up in the backseat – now they're discussing Paul McCartney and John Lennon. Caroline has no music history knowledge whatsoever. At one time, I had to explain to her that her favorite song was actually done by Dolly Parton before Whitney Houston was even old enough to drive… but she's pushing back at Klaus like she actually has an opinion on The Beatles.

Elena: I'm serious. I want to be able to say 'hey, that's our song.'

Klaus offers up a bargain – he'll agree to the night apart if he can pick the music for the reception. Of course, he says he wants The Beatles. "Paul McCartney sounds like a goat!" Caroline half yells, getting a quick response from Klaus.

"A goat? You've lost your mind!"

But she continues to speak over him. "I don't want a goat singing at our wedding!"

From the drivers side mirror, I catch Damon getting out of the SUV that Jeremy, Bonnie, he and Katherine are in, so I open my door as well – thankful for the escape. I've met him in the middle of the distance between our two parked trucks when I get another message from Elena.

Elena: Leaving me to deal with them? U owe me… ;)

I turn to see her looking at me through the open car windows with that smile on her face, the one that wrinkles up her nose a bit, and I can't wait to 'repay' her. I'm still not sure who to be pissed at, Damon or Klaus, but after one of them interrupted us last night, I had to go to sleep with that aching pressure while Elena slept like a rock. You'd think that there's some guy-code about that – beating on the wall and interfering.

"We're literally in the middle of nowhere and you find a traffic jam?" Damon asks, holding his hands up and shrugging. "We're going to miss our flights out of here, you know that right?"

I know. Trust me. I've been looking forward to everyone leaving this afternoon, but we got out of bed late, took way too much time during breakfast, and if this traffic doesn't start moving very soon, I'm going to be putting up with everyone for another night.

Still, I'm hopeful, and message Elena,

Stefan: After last night, I think you're in debt to me. When can I expect you to pay up?

"I'm not sure what's going on." I slip my phone back in my pocket and try rubbernecking a bit, hoping to catch some sort of sign of what's causing the hold up. "This is the only road up and down the coast, but it's not very well taken care of, so who knows what's causing the back up."

"And why is it you live here, again?" Damon sighs, leaning back against the fender of the SUV just as a man calls to us from a windowless box truck.

He's got the look of a farm hand – over worked, leathered skin, and dirty, permanently stained clothes, so I'm surprised by his decent English. "Is cows." Speaking loudly, the man points down the road ahead of us. "Cows. They break out. Cows everywhere."

Damon and I both nod, I wave a thank you. After a silent moment or two, I head back to let everyone know what's going on, with Damon in tow, groaning, "Cattle in the street? We might as well be back in 1864!"

The instant Damon and I step into Elena's view, her face turns to stone when she spots him and I'm reminded that she's planning on asking him about her mother soon. I guess the delay in everyone leaving is a good thing as far as that is concerned.

With Caroline and Klaus still bickering, and Elena giving Damon the cold-shoulder, my update about the traffic jam is quick and I get very little response – just a 'that's fine' from Elena before I turn around to face Damon.

He gives me a shrug, gesturing towards Elena, but I'm not touching that subject – not here at least, so I just shake my head like I don't know why she's acting cold towards him. We stand there quietly for a bit, listening to Klaus trying to barter with Caroline and the last bit of Stormy Weather by Etta James. After checking his phone, flipping through some app, Damon starts to go back to his SUV. I don't know why I pick now to talk to him about his money problems, but I haven't been able to get him alone so I figure I may as well take advantage of the opportunity.

"Hey, um," I don't usually 'um', but this is going to be an odd conversation and I'm not totally sure how to go about it. "How are things?" Nervous, I look down at my phone, then my shoes.

Damon must be able to feel the awkwardness too, but he's always been better at putting on and hardly reacts – just shifts his weight from one leg to the other and raises his eyebrows as he asks in a snarky tone, "How are… things?"

"How are you doing in school? And how are things at home?" I hate lying, but it comes out of my mouth before I can stop it, "You and Katherine seem to be doing well."

Shifting his weight again, Damon snarls at me, huffing loudly to let me know I'm annoying him. "What? Are you worried that we've turned your bedroom into a Red Room of Pain?" I give him a laugh on that one… of course, if Damon's ever going to read a book it would be Fifty Shades of Grey. Grabbing my shoulder, he says in a joking tone, "Don't worry, Stefan. You can always come home."

"Thanks, Damon. Really." I laugh, shrugging to get his hand off of me.

We're awkwardly silent for a long moment – at first I think it's because of my terrible segway, but then Damon says, "You know, it wouldn't be horrible… you moving back to Mystic Falls." He's staring over my shoulder out towards the ocean in the far distance, speaking in a somewhat odd octave. "I'd like to be able to see my niece and nephew more often, and having you around gives me a boost of confidence –my runt little brother is a constant reminder than I got the looks and the brains in the family."

It's really strange, Damon and I having _a moment, _as they've been very few and far between for close to two centuries now and I have to look down at the ground. It probably sounds like he's being a dick, but I know my brother and I get the very truthful tone of his statement, even if he did tie it in with a joking insult. Damon misses me.

Crossing my arms, I sniff harshly and scrunch up my face to wash away any sign of the extreme amount of joy his words give me before I look at him and tell him I miss him too, but in a way that only he would understand, "I know."

Damon does his own version of forcing a straight face – nodding, knitting his brow, slightly turning his head to the side.

Believe it or not, Damon and I have just had a very meaningful conversation in a language that only siblings, maybe only brothers, can.

After some time passes, enough that I feel like I can be straight-forward with him, I say, "But I mean, do you need anything? I know you weren't… prepared for this."

When he glares at me, I look down at my phone and read Elena's text – uncomfortable under his scrutinizing stare.

Elena: Gasp! I owe u? I think we need to compare notes. Last I remember, u turned me down this am.

I smile at Elena's flirty message and remember how I had to tear myself out of that squeaky bed this morning – she woke me up kissing my chest and her nails scrapping low on my stomach. It quickly turned into a pretty heated makeout session, but I heard the shower running in Klaus and Caroline's room and remembered the thin walls, and couldn't keep my mind in the game. Last thing I want to do is give Damon, or really any other guy within ear shot, any more reasons to want Elena.

"Are you asking me if I need money?" Damon frowns. "Because I don't need your money, baby bro."

Ah… baby bro. He only calls me that when he's getting pissed, which tells me that yes, he does need the money. "No. Of course not. I mean, um" I roll my eyes at the 'um'. "I mean, if you needed money I can give you money."

"Oh I know, Stefan. You've got _plenty_ of money." Damon snaps sarcastically.

"Look, Katherine said" I'm about to tell him about what Katherine had told me about his books and the property taxes on the Salvatore house, but the crunching of gravel catches our attention and we both turn to see Bonnie making her way to us. Instead, I cut it short, "If you do… just tell me."

"Did that guy say there were cows loose?"

"Yep." Damon glares at me for a moment longer, then finally turns to Bonnie. "Are they still cackling?"

Bonnie rolls her eyes and crosses her arms, "Yes. I get Jeremy liking Adam Sandler, but I never would have expected Katherine."

I half listen to Bonnie and Damon complaining about Jeremy and Katherine, and Caroline and Klaus still squabbling as I text Elena back.

Stefan: You're right. How about I get back in the truck and we settle up? ;)

I give it a moment to make it to her phone, then lean over and peek in the window at her – she's giggling when she catches me watching her read the suggestive text. I nod, give her a _how about it? _shrug, but she just covers her laugh with her fingers and rolls her eyes at me before Caroline drags her back into the wedding debate and Klaus get out of the truck, slamming the door for good measure.

Some of the other people have gotten out of their cars – it's probably in the mid 80's, but there's a decent breeze so it's cooler to get out. Plus there's no sign of us moving any time soon. There's a couple of elderly folks sitting on the tailgate of an old rusted out Toyota pick-up, a few kids playing near these red flowered trees that line most of the eastern side of the road, and a handful of farm hands that appear to be trying to catch a nap in the back of the covered truck their riding in.

"Are they arguing?" Bonnie whispers to me.

I'm about to tell her no, not really, when Damon says, "Rich people problems."

And they both laugh – Bonnie even leans over and nudges Damon with her elbow – and that's when I realize, Damon and Bonnie have an inside joke. Given their history, that's even more odd that Katherine and Jeremy bonding over Adam Sandler.

I'm watching my brother joking with Elena's best friend, paying close attention to the way he lets his hand linger on her skin as he swipes a lady-bug off of her shoulder, when I get Elena's texts.

Elena: You're so bad! Or, iniquitous, right? :P

Elena: Lets pick a song… everything I can think of is tied to some sad memory.

-Elena-

Caroline is venting about Klaus even though he's standing right outside of her door and the window is down – it's funny how he's acting like he doesn't hear her. She's doing the same. Just completely ignoring him complaining about her and her control issues as if there is a sound proof wall between them.

I've been so sad thinking about everyone leaving this afternoon, but now that it looks like they're going to be staying for atleast another night, I'm kind of disappointed. Weird, huh?

It's just that I was looking forward to getting back to my regular life – my day to day with Stefan and the kids – and then with my big plans of getting some Stefan and Elena alone time shot all the hell with too much Everclear and too much 80's karaoke, I'm kind of feigning for his attention.

I'm like a child with candy, I know – I just can't get enough of him. The instant I met Stefan, or ran into him I guess, I knew he was something more. Different. And I don't mean vampire. It was just this feeling… it swelled up inside of me and, after just a few hours of getting to know him, I loved Stefan. Not like I'd ever loved anything before in my entire life… love that rooted itself into my soul. I guess that's why I am the way I am with him.

"Elena." Caroline says my name in way that tells me she's said it more than once before I caught it. "Are you even listening to me?"

To be honest, I've been text-flirting with my gorgeous husband for most of the time, and I'm more than a little distracted by the very sexy look he gave me after I read his last message. He's wearing this white, button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the collar open and, wow… seriously, he's just so incredibly hot with his muscular chest and those damn eyes of his. Ugh! Anyway, I'm about to say that I was listening to the radio, but I stop myself – it would be an obvious lie because it's on a commercial break and it's all in Thai. Trying to think of something to say, I start to turn around in my seat when Stefan opens the driver door.

"Come on, get out." He smiles, dropping his phone on the seat.

There's a mischievous look in his eyes, that grin of his is a bit coy, so I ask, "Why? What are you up to?"

Shutting the door, he says again, "Get out." through the open window.

Caroline interjects in a pouty tone, "Stefan, we're having girl talk here." But neither of us look back at her. I'm too caught up by his leaf-green eyes and he's trying to will me to exit the vehicle.

After a long moment of looking at one another, smiling, he shrugs, "Fine, I'll come get you then." and is quickly coming around to my side of the car and opening the door. "Come on, get out."

I laugh and roll my eyes at him, "Why?"

"You want a song? Okay. Let's have a song." Extending his left hand to me, Stefan speaks in a silly, proper tone of voice, "Elena Salvatore, please, may I have this dance?" bowing just a bit for good measure.

Through a giggle I say, "First of all, Stefan Salvatore does not dance unless absolutely begged to do so, and second, there's no music." Even as I'm partially denying him, I'm turning in my seat and my feet are moving to the ground.

Leaning into the car, Stefan turns up the commercial very loud – Caroline gives a _Jeez, Stefan_ before quickly exiting. "Oh I dance." He laughs, "That was just my way of getting you to ask me. Don't you know how adorable you are when you beg?" Kissing my forehead he adds, "and there is no music now, but there will be."

-Bonnie-

"What's going on?" Klaus asks, but Caroline doesn't seem to know either, so we're all watching Stefan and Elena – moving to the front of truck with a very loud, high pitched voice speaking in what I assume is Thai blaring through the radio.

"Stefan, what are you doing?" Elena giggles that same giggle she's always had - putty in his hands, or maybe the other way around. He stands in front of her, his hands finding hers, bringing one up to his smiling mouth and kissing her fingers.

I don't know why, but I look up at Damon and at the same time, he looks down at me.

"We'll leave it up to the radio Gods." Stefan laughs, looking up to the blue sky like that's an actual deity. "Whatever comes on is our song. We'll even have a story to tell about a bunch of cows!"

"Yea, Stefan asked me to dance with him in the middle of a traffic jam when any other time I'd have to beg him." Elena says, pressing her body up against his and punctuating her sentence with a kiss on his lips. Again, Damon looks down at me, but I keep my eyes on Elena and Stefan.

A few notes start and I'm sorry I have just got to laugh – I mean I nearly double over, instead I lean my head over on Damon's arm and hold his shoulder.

"This is perfect." Stefan laughs, "Perfect song." Slipping his arm around her waist, they actually start dancing in the middle of the road, with everyone watching.

Stefan even sings the first line to her "I been really tryin' baby…" as they sway back forth in a very Dirty Dancing-esque way.

Caroline and Klaus, Damon and I stand there a bit and watch them, dancing much too close for two sober people in the early afternoon, but they're laughing and being goofy, and it's almost contagious.

"You and I are going to have to step up our game if we continue to hang around him." Klaus says to Damon, gesturing to Stefan. Then in some silent communication between the two of them, Caroline and Klaus are holding hands and going to dance next to Elena and Stefan – their argument overwith, totally forgotten.

I swear to you I don't know why we keep doing this, but I look up and Damon and he looks down at me. Thing is, now that we've been widdled down to the two of us being alone, it suddenly feels… strange. It takes a second, but eventually I look away from Damon's really really blue eyes and I'm pretending to watch a third couple – two elderly people – coming to the mock dance floor.

"Come on, witch," Damon says, taking my hand just as the last 'Let's Get It On' of the chorus is sang and Stefan dips a laughing Elena back. "You and I are the only people in a twenty mile radius with any rhythm."

-Stefan-

When I pull up and see Bonnie and Klaus waiting to help with the kids, for some reason I get the urge to just carry both of mine myself. I mean, I know Bonnie will get one of the twins, so that leaves either Lola or Liam or Grayson or Allie for Klaus. I'm sure it's ridiculous – but the way he dismissed Grayson the other day is still not sitting well with me, especially now that I know Klaus is going to be a father.

I throw the transmission in park and do everything but run to get Grayson, whispering loudly to wake up Allie just as Bonnie comes to her side of the car. Allie is a champion sleeper, get her in the car and she's out like a light, but this way she can walk and I'll carry Grayson and Klaus won't need to handle either of my children.

Old habits die hard… and I guess, same goes with grudges.

"Daddy, I need to take a minute." Allie yawns, slowly moving out of her carseat with Bonnie's assistance. Much like my brother, my daughter is a natural comedian - something about the way she phrases things and the timing of the words she uses is just hilarious when coming out of her adolescent mouth. I guess I'm more used to it than Bonnie and Klaus because they both nearly crack up but restrain because Lola and Grayson are still sleeping.

Adjusting my son on my shoulder, I take Allie's hand as she rubs her eyes with the other. "Come on, we'll go lay your brother down then tuck you in for a nap, okay?"

She doesn't respond, still groggy I guess. Instead she looks up at me and nods, as we start into the house. We're both quiet while putting Grayson to bed. As we are going into her room, Klaus and Bonnie pass - going back into the living room after dropping the twins in their cribs. When she finally does talk again, I'm confused and almost pass it off as just sleepy mumbling – but she asks the same question again when I'm on my way out of her room.

"What color is your flower, Daddy?" She's curled up on her side, hugging an old American Girl doll that I'd bought her years ago when we were in Wilmington. Without being able to see my green eyes on her face, she's an exact replica of the little girl I used to imagine – back when I believed I'd lost Elena to Damon.

"What do you mean?" I ask in a low whisper, not sure if she's even still awake.

Through an adorable, Elena-like yawn that wrinkles up her nose, she adds "On your arm…"

"Oh, my tattoo?" My left hand grabs my right shoulder without me even thinking about it. I've had this rose on my shoulder for going on sixty years now – honestly, I hardly even remember it's there. "It's black, er –" remembering the way the ink has faded into a less bold color, I correct myself, "more green now, I guess."

Allie doesn't move, doesn't respond at all, and I assume she's asleep though I stay and watch her for a bit longer – those memories of how gutted I was when Elena wasn't mine and my mind was filled with images of a little girl I thought I'd never have are tugging at my heart.

I stand there a long while - long enough that my legs actually feel a little tired as I turn and leave. Just before the door shuts behind me Allie mumbles, "That's the same as the scorpio, Daddy." And I chuckle at my daughter's fear of an imaginary scorpion, before I tense from a touch much too high up on my leg.

Katherine.

I turn to face her – she's so close I have to look all the down – her hands finding their way to my sides, just at the waist of my jeans, thumbs slipping under my belt.

"Just stop, Katherine." I frown, speaking quietly and taking her by the wrists, removing her touch.

Smirking as if she likes that I've forcefully grabbed her, she whispers, "Come on, Stefan, you enjoyed that little show yesterday and you know it." Leaning in against me, she adds in a cute tone of voice, "Stood around much too long to deny it."

Guilt is tightening my throat, so when I swallow, it's hard and I pray she didn't catch the sound of it – "That was nothing, Katherine." I try, but even I'm not convinced…

"Haven't seen a man look that hungry since Klaus made you binge on blood bags. Is the doppelganger not cutting it? Guess she missed out on the Petrova spirit… those Gilberts are quite boring in bed."

I pause for a moment – lost in a million thoughts of blood, the way it would coat my burning throat as I sucked it into my mouth. I only have register that she's just told me she slept with one of the Gilbert founders back in 1864 – I'm not surprised.

Strangely thirsty, my voice is more raw than I'd hoped, "I was hungry then and I was horny yesterday – don't flatter yourself, Katherine." Taking her by her small shoulders, I move her back a few inches as I say, "You look just like Elena… there's nothing more to it."

"Hmph," Katherine rolls her eyes – very bratty. "She. Looks like me."

"Oh so you're going on a technicality of who I met first?" Her hand is moving towards my chest, but I move back. "Now you're just grasping at straws."

When she steps forward I think she's moving with me, but luckily Katherine keeps going, running her hand slowly down my arm and tossing over her shoulder, "I always get what I want, Stefan… no matter what." as she leaves me in the hallway.

Angry, I stand there for a long while before deciding I need to talk to Elena, tell her about my brief-pause when I was in the extra-bedroom with Katherine. Walking to the master bedroom, Elena and I catch eyes for a moment and her smile resonates in me, but she's talking with Bonnie and Caroline so I don't interrupt. Caroline was holding that red journal so I figure they must be discussing confronting Damon.

Entering the living room, Klaus and Damon are in the kitchen working on a some cheap bottle of Gin that Damon picked up in town, and for a second I think Katherine is looking at me when she glances back before going out to the deck – she's doing that head down, looking through her lashes, siren-like allure look that she gives when she knows she's got you wrapped around her finger and it really pisses me off… but then I realize she's not looking at me.

Following her gaze, she was looking at Jeremy.

While I'm watching my brother-in-law nod at Katherine's very sexy gaze, my mind is off the rails… I'm still trying to process when Jeremy looks over at me. The wide grin that he had, the kind that a man gets when he feels indestructible, it quickly falls from his mouth and an expression I know much too well takes it's place.

It's guilt. From the slightly raised, pursed eye brows to the way his shoulders tense – I recognize the look of contrite.

All weekend they've been talking, laughing… now that I think of it, they've been standing much too closely, spending a lot of time alone on the deck, dancing together at that karaoke bar… Katherine and Adam Sandler? No. That doesn't fit her personality, at all… it's suddenly very clear to me that Katherine was not talking about a Gilbert in 1864.

Before I can stop myself I'm charging at Jeremy and he's backing up just as quickly. I see him open his mouth to say something so I take a wide stride and grab the back of his head with one hand and press tightly over his mouth with the other – If I've figured this out, Klaus and Damon can't be too far behind. The last thing he needs is to draw attention to this confrontation.

I keep my grip on him very tight until we've walked through the open French doors, turned, and I'm holding him against the wall of the house – now with my forearm pressed against his throat.

"What are you doing?!" I hiss. Hell I'm probably spitting on him. "She's dangerous, Jeremy! You're married!" He tries to turn his face, but I hold him in place with my hand still on his mouth, shoving my arm into his neck a bit harder. "Tell me I'm wrong about this, Jeremy! Tell me I'm wrong!" I'm about to ask him why he's not answering me when I realize he can't speak – he can barely breath with my arm pressing his windpipe and my hand over his mouth – so I back up and tell myself not to punch him for being such a dumbass. He's doubled over, catching his breath, and I want to hit him so badly that I have to put both of my hands behind my head, lacing my fingers together as I pace in a short half circle – keeping an eye out for anyone who may be within earshot.

Through a cough, Jeremy croaks, "It's not what you think."

"It's not? So you aren't cheating on Bonnie with my brother's girlfriend?" My phrasing surprises me… I hadn't realized that not only am I worried for Jeremy's safety and his marriage, I'm also pretty pissed off that he's messing with Damon's girl. I think, more than anything, that's why I want to punch him.

Instead of saying something – denying it – Jeremy just looks up at me with that guilty look and I shove him back against the wall, gritting my teeth as I say, "She looks just like your sister!"

Jeremy is bigger than me – let's face it, on a scale he probably outweighs me by atleast twenty pounds – and I think that he's confusing our size difference for him having an upper hand. Not happy with how I'm handling him, Jeremy moves to hit me – yea, he throws a punch at me! – but I've been fighting for as long as I can remember and I'm much more fit than he is. I think he's surprised when I block his fist and grab his throat in a motion just shy of being too quick for him to follow. I'm not a vampire and it's been a few years, but if there is one thing being Damon's little brother has taught me, it's how to put a fight when you're on the wrong end of a size difference - always go for the throat.

"Calm down." I growl at him, my mouth right against his ear. He struggles a bit, but losing oxygen is usually a pretty quick way of getting someone to conform – after a few seconds he's still, grabbing my wrist with both of his hands. "I'm going to let go… but I swear Jeremy, if you try that again."

I don't know what… if he tries to hit me, I don't know what I'll do… let's just hope it doesn't get to that point. I'll never admit it, but I like to fight. And worse, I like to win.

Stepping away, I let him catch his breath – waiting with my hands on my waist, still trying to keep myself from punching him.

"You…" Jeremy sighs, standing straight, "of all people," he rubs his throat, his voice scratchy and still short of breath, "should know that after you get past there looks… Elena and Katherine… are nothing alike."

Okay, True.

"You're married, Jeremy!" I shake my hands in front of him. "Katherine is dangerous, don't you get that?"

He shakes his head no, like I'm wrong, like I haven't spent nearly a century paying for the nights she spent in my bed. "But-"

I interrupt, "What? But what? You _love_ her?" I'm give a crazy sounding laugh, take his head in my hands the way Damon has done to me. Holding it hard and making him look at me. "OK, so she's tricked you into believing she's something that she's not. But you can atleast agree that Damon will kill you, right? Jeremy, you've got to end this – now, today. If Damon finds out about this, you're dead."

"You act like you're all still vampires and like killing is just something you do!"

"It is!" I say through a tight jaw. "Once you kill – after that first time, the second time, the third time, the hundredth time… it's easy! There's nothing to it!" I step back, realizing how true those words are not just for Katherine and Damon, but for me too. "It changes you… and no matter what, nothing can reverse it."

Jeremy starts to say something, but the gravity that I have with Elena it's suddenly different – sharp, almost cold… it's hard to explain, but I know something is wrong and leave Jeremy for later.

-Bonnie-

With Jeremy trying to rework our flights, I've spent the last few minutes trying to talk Elena out of this… they don't know how hard things have been for Damon and Katherine. She and Stefan have been tucked away in a little paradise while the rest of us have had to live real life, with bills and mortgages and health problems, and credit scores, and I don't know when it happened… or how, but Damon and Katherine are my friends.

I'm sitting at the desk in Elena's bedroom, trying to think of another angle when I catch Elena giving a smile to the door behind me. I don't need to turn around, I know it's Stefan… she doesn't smile like that for anyone but him. Her fairytale knight in shining armor… ugh.

"You two." Caroline giggles, standing from the end of the bed and stretching. "I should be really pissed about you keeping me up last night."

I roll my eyes – again with the teasing. Yes, we get it, Stefan and Elena have great, mind blowing sex – shut up about it already.

Elena blushes, pushing her hair behind her ears and giving a light-hearted, giggling, "Stop it, Caroline."

"Never ever, will I let you live that down. _Oh Stefan, I love you. OH God, yes Stefan." _She mocks Elena, who playfully tosses a blanket at Caroline to shut up her.

I laugh when Elena quips, "If you want, I'll have Stefan give Klaus a 101 so you don't have to be so jealous."

Caroline hugs Elena from the side, laying her head on her shoulder, Elena resting her head on Caroline's. "Seriously, I am so happy that you and Stefan are together… you're so great together. I mean, who would have thought that you and I would end up married to best friends?"

_Best Friends? _Stefan and Klaus? Uh… no. Surely, Caroline is joking.

Elena and I share a quick, knowing look regarding Caroline's odd observation of Stefan and Klaus. When no one makes a comment to agree, Caroline continues, "but you've got to tell me what Stefan did?"

Laughing, shocked, Elena says, "What?"

Caroline has always been a bit nosey, but even I'm surprised by her question. We aren't kids anymore – they weren't just _hooking up._ Why in the world does she think Elena would give her details?

"Oh gawd, no!" Caroline giggles, releasing Elena and moving to the mirror, adjusting her ponytail. "I mean, what did he do wrong?"

Caroline turns to us and I think Elena and I are both looking at her with confused expressions as she gives us a big eyed look of annoyance before continuing in a sly tone, "From one girl married to an ex-vamp to another, it's one of the many pluses of being with a guy who has an eternally guilty conscience… they live to please."

I'm still lost – trying to figure out if Caroline is actually trying to tell us that Klaus has any sense of remorse in his body, but I lose my train of disbelieving thoughts when I see the way Elena's shoulder fall a bit. I know Caroline thinks she and Elena are 'besties' – but, let's be honest here… Elena and I have always been closer and I know Elena better than anyone. I can see the weight of that sentence has hit Elena like a ton of bricks; her already low-self esteem is probably turning that _guilty conscience_ comment into something way bigger than it should be.

In an effort to get her mind on something else and tired of delaying the inevitable, I say, "Come on, let's go deal with Damon."

-Damon-

"Hey, evil genius?" I guess it should worry me that I'm already slurring. It's going on three in the afternoon and I'm basically wasted. But what the hell – I'm on vacation at my girlfriends expense. Woo. Fucking. Who. When he doesn't answer me, flipping through something on his Ipad, I thump the glass of gin in front of him and call him Nikki. Katherine has told me about the time she spent with _Lord Niklaus._ His staff would call him Nikki behind his back just because they hated him. I feel the same about the dick that I always have, but if we've got to mingle, then so be it – besides, Stefan is back to being _good _and I don't have anyone else to drink with.

Finally he looks up at me, "Hm, sorry mate." Klaus gives a quick look around the room, then says, "I thought you were speaking to your wife – er, girlfriend." Adding with a coy smile, "I can't quite figure out what you two are. Lovers? Pals? Roommates?"

Ouch. See. He's a dick.

But I guess I deserved that – I respond with the only thing I have to hold over his head, raising my eyebrows and lifting my glass to my mouth as I say, "You know, the only _lover _I've had in Thailand happens to be your bride-to-be, so…" After a long drawl of gin, I look right in his face and get the impression that this is news to him. That smile has been replaced by a grimace, a shocked look in his beady eyes. "Guess you, didn't know about that?" I laugh.

He starts to bow up and for a moment – maybe a half of a second – I'm a little worried. But then I remember that he's human. No special strength, no powers of compulsion. The realization makes me stand straighter and I have to hold back my excitement when I think of how badly I want to fight Klaus.

I think he's about to say something, or maybe lunge over the bar at me, but Elena and Bonnie come into the kitchen and after a moment longer of staring one another down, we both look to them. Caroline is a bit further behind and I immediately regret selling her out to Klaus like that – but whatever, can't change it now. They're too fucking happy and too fucking rich – a little bit of drama will be good for them. Get a feeling of how the rest of us live.

"Can I talk with you?" Elena asks me as she watches Bonnie walk past Klaus and I.

I follow Bonnie with my eyes until she's behind me – I hear a cabinet door open, then the tap water as I nod, yes.

Kneading her fingers into a red notebook in her hand, Elena gestures with her head for me to come with her and I toss back the rest of my gin before going with her. I don't know where I thought she was leading us, but we stop just outside of the kitchen, half in the dining area and half in the empty living room.

I'll remind you that I'm drunk… you should remember that because I start off with a really terrible joke. "Here, Elena?" I ask, leaning over to her a bit, "I knew we'd sneak off together at some point," I make a crude head nod at Caroline who is leaning against the wide doorframe, "but I thought we'd atleast get a little privacy."

Like she doesn't register, Elena starts in, "I need to ask you something, Damon. And I need you to be honest with me…"

She's looking up at me like she does – huge, round, brown eyes that radiate innocence. It's pretty fucking obvious that my brother got the best of the doppelgangers.

I'm mentally reminding myself that I shouldn't have been such a dick my 180 some odd years and maybe thing would have panned out a bit better for me when Elena rests her hand against my forearm. "Please, Damon?"

I look down at her small hand on my arm, slowly trail up her body, enjoying the way she looks in a pair of worn out blue jeans and what I guess is my brothers button down shirt – collar open, sleeves rolled up. Finally reaching her face, I nod.

"Tell me about my mother."

The way she says it, very flat and emotionless, I immediately think she's talking about Isobel and roll my eyes at the thought of that bitch. "Isobel was a lunatic, Elena. What is there to say?"

She looks down, blinks slowly, then looks back into my eyes and I know what she's asking… I see something in her eyes change. It's been so many years, but that teenager who was drowning in grief at the loss of her parents is still very close to the surface. "Not Isobel, Damon." Holding the notebook out to me, Elena says, "my mother."

Like so many times in my life, I'm filled with regret for something I've done in the past. At the time, it seemed like it was nothing, my little fling with a teenaged Miranda Sommers, but looking at Elena as she looks up at me, I wish I could take it all back… all of it.

It's a natural reaction for me to go into a defensive mode and I regret my words as they come out of my mouth, "Oh, Miranda." I give a huff, like this is no big deal and she's over reacting. Raising my eyebrows, I try to joke, "Look, Elena, what I know about her, you probably don't want to know."

She purses her lips at me, narrowing her eyes a bit and swallowing hard. I realize now that she's stepped back, removed the gentle resting of her hand on my arm – both of her hands now at her sides. "You slept with my mom, Damon."

Her accusing tone irritates me – or makes me feel worse, maybe. "Both of your mom's, Elena." I laugh, "Both."

"Oh I haven't forgot, Damon." She says my name like it's a curse word. She's speaking louder now, Klaus and Bonnie come to the door frame next to Caroline to watch. "But I'm not surprised you'd sleep with a lunatic, given that you're not exactly hard to get."

"Oh, so now _I'm the loose one?"_ I flinch when she slaps me – it's harder than I remember her slaps to be and my eye stings terribly, but I play it off the best I can, giving her a snarl of a grin. "What do you want me to say, Elena? That I fucked your mom? Yea okay. I did it. She loved it!"

Seething now, Elena's voice is even and firm when she asks, "No, Damon. I want you to tell me what happened when you met her at The Grille the day she died."

I should have taken that fucking book. If I would have taken the journal and atleast looked through it, I wouldn't be standing her surprised. Totally caught off guard. I should have known Miranda kept a damn journal…

"What's going on?" Katherine's voice tingles through me and I'm actually glad she's made her way back into the house. She's the only other person in the world that knows about that day… that night, and I may need her to help me think of a way around telling Elena about it.

"Just a lil history lesson is all, Katerina." Klaus' voice is beaming with excitement and I glare at him, pissed that he's enjoying my public hanging. "Now let's not interfere."

I finally think of a response, moving my eyes back to Elena who's still staring at me – her eyes much less innocent, full of anger. "Tell me what you know, and I'll fill in the missing pieces. Minus the good stuff, of course." I tease and wish I could just be serious for one fucking second. Making light, trying to put the other person on the defensive, it's just how I react when I'm guilty. Stefan broods and cries and begs and acts like a starved puppy while I turn into a full throttle ass.

"Damon." She says my name and it's a question and a statement in one.

Rolling my eyes, I take a step away from her, back towards the kitchen. "What Elena? I was at the bar, she was there to pick up something for that God awful comet thing." I'm scrounging for a lie and give more detail than I should. "Candles or something, hell, I don't know."

"And?"

"And nothing. I saw her, we said hello… I wanted to talk to her about the grimoire and Emily's necklace." I step back again, doing my best to appear nonchalant. "But you're Gilbert daddy had turned her into a vampire hater and she wouldn't say anything – she was scared of me then. And ya know what, it kinda hurt."

Like she's contemplating my words, Elena looks down at the closed journal in her hands and I imagine she's comparing my side of the story to what she's read. It's basically the truth… basically.

"You threatened her." I'm not sure if it's a question or if she knows that I did and is pointing it out, so just to be safe, I don't deny it.

"Um, yea I did." I laugh, kind of like, _of course I threatened her._ "She was married to Gilbert, on the council! Look, all I wanted was to get Katherine out of the tomb and-"

Standing next to me, Klaus interrupts, "Which she conveniently was not in."

I glare at over at him, then continue with my suedo-truth. "and leave. I didn't want any trouble Elena…"

Everyone is quiet for a long while – I think I hear Stefan talking but it's quiet so I can't make it out, but get the feeling he's pissed. I guess I'm paying attention to my brothers angry tone instead of my surroundings and before I know it, Klaus as made a quick step behind me and has looped his arms through mine, restraining me.

I look to Katherine – my only ally – and she's moving quick to come to me, but Caroline steps in front of her, blocking my view of her, and gives a whispered threat, "Leave it, Katherine."

"What the fuck, Klaus?" I struggle, but his clasp fists are pressing into my back and bowing my chest out, bending my shoulders backwards to an almost painful degree. "Elena!?"

"You're lying, Damon… something isn't right…" She sighs, then nods to Bonnie.

-Elena-

Damon is staring at me with a look of disbelief on his face, anger maybe. Fine. I'm angry too…

It only takes a few seconds for Bonnie to do her spell – a gentle touch of her finger tips to each of his temples, a couple of sentences spoken in the deep, monotone Latin, and she's done – stepping back from him.

I swear I hear her whisper an apology to him as Klaus releases his restrained arms, but I ignore it and ignore Katherine telling me to leave him alone.

"Why did you threaten my mother, Damon? Where you looking for me? The doppelganger?" It's all I want to know. Was all of the time I spent with him a lie? It makes sense, right? Damon wanted Katherine back – he didn't want her to have to run anymore. If he knew my mother, he might have also known about me and my connection to Katherine and the curse… it's been eating me alive, thinking that all of the hell I put Stefan through when I thought I had feelings for Damon may be been just a big con on his side. When Katherine wasn't in the tomb, he was enraged – keeping me safe from Klaus was a way to ensure Katherine would always have to run from Klaus… a great way to pay someone back for breaking your heart.

"What?!" Damon basically yells at me, shoving Klaus away from him. "No!"

In her slow, cruel tone, Katherine tosses in, "You think you're so superior, don't you Elena?" I turn to her, just as I sense Stefan entering the living room. "You're so quick to condemn him, but you give Stefan a free-pass when he's the worst of us all…"

I turn to Stefan, reach out for him. Without hesitation, Stefan continues across the room and takes my hand, a guilty look in his beautiful, telling green eyes. I know her words hurt him, I know how he feels about his past. I give him my best smile and hope he can feel that I love him, then turn back to Katherine and say, "All thanks to you."

Damon starts again, stepping up to me in an almost threatening stance – I'm not frightened by him, but Stefan, quickly moves between us, placing a hand flat on Damon's chest. They glare at each other for a long while, long enough for Damon to lose a bit of his aggression. Finally, he says, "I swear Elena, I had no idea."

There's no way he could lie… Bonnie's spell made it so he had to be truthful. I exhale, relieved, I guess. I don't know what I was thinking. Damon is a lot of things, but I know he cares for me. I know that he really believed he loved me back then. But still, something feels wrong – I don't feel like I've got the information I'm wanting

I haven't moved – I'm still processing everything I've learned from my mother's journals versus what Damon has just said.

Bonnie touches Damon's shoulder as she heads out to the deck, taking Katherine by the hand and pulling her along. Caroline moves closer to Klaus now that she's not acting as guard against Katherine, and Stefan slips his hand down my hair and pulls me into a hug – kissing my forehead softly as I nuzzle against him.

When he starts out to the deck with Katherine and Bonnie, Damon gives a quick look and I feel terrible for confronting him like that – for suspecting that he may have done something to my mother, or conned Stefan and I. There's a sadness in his eyes that I've seen before… years and years ago, the first time I crossed him. Pulling away from Stefan, I call out to him, and he stops, pivoting towards me with his brow low and lips pursed.

"What?" He asks, feigning irritation to cover his hurt.

What can I say? How can I apologize? I hate it, but there is still a shadow of doubt in my mind and I know that if he'll just say it, I'll be able to let my fears go.

"In her journals, she talked about how sweet and kind you were to her." Stefan releases me from his arms and I step towards Damon. "And I'm sorry that I had to ask you that, but I just needed to know that all of the darkness that followed me for so long had nothing to do with my parents dying. I've ruined so many lives, Damon, I can't be responsible for theirs too."

Pursing his lips together, he nods, then looks at Stefan, then to me. Damon starts to walk off, but I grab his hand in both of mine. Giving a sad, sorrowful smile, I add, "It was wrong of me to even suspect you, but, Damon, I just need to you hear you say it." For a second, I think I've imagined it – the sudden tension in Damon's neck, the shift of his eyes. "For me, for my peace of mind, just tell me you had nothing to do with her death."

But when he turns his head to the side and opens his mouth to speak, he's silent.

****MORE TO COME****

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	9. Chapter 9 - Adult Content

CHAPTER 9 – THE REAPING_ (adult content)_

-Elena-

He closes his mouth tightly; pressing his lips together with such pressure they lose their normal shade of pink and fade away. I feel like I spend a long time inspecting the contradicting colors that make up this face that I know so well – from the shaggy, shapeless black hair hanging on his forehead, to the pale skin of his well-defined chin. Damon's cobalt blue eyes that give nothing away are staring right back into mine. All the while, the hold I have on his hand is loosening as his fingers are tightening against mine.

"Damon, please," I give a nervous smile, shaking my head as I speak, "stop trying to be funny and just tell me, okay?"

I hear Stefan telling Jeremy to go back outside, but I just can't tear myself away from Damon… from the way his jaw is flexed and his lips are pursed, as if he's trying to keep something from escaping his mouth.

"You're scaring me, Damon." I try again. Wishing he'd stop this and just tell me that he had nothing to do with my parents death. "I'm not mad, I just want to hear you say it, please." With each passing second my heart beat is getting harder, pounding in my chest – the rhythm of my speech growing more frantic. "Really, stop acting like that, okay?"

Releasing his hold on my fingers, Damon rubs both of his hands roughly up and down his face, bends at the waist and grunts loudly through those strained lips. The grunts begin to sound more painful, more like deep cries from the lowest part of his gut and Damon appears to be having trouble standing – using a hand against the wall to balance himself as his knees begin to buckle.

I'm stone still, watching Damon's act, so confused as to why he's putting on. I've almost convinced myself that he's doing this, carrying on with such drama as a way to punish me for even asking –he'll soon get his fill of scaring me and he'll stand up and raise his eyebrows and smirk. He'll tell me he was nowhere around Wickery Bridge that night… just as soon as he finishes getting his retaliation out on me and my now trembling nerves.

Slipping his fingers down my back as he passes me, Stefan goes to him; placing his hands on Damon's shoulders as if to support some of his weight. I've opened my mouth to tell Stefan that Damon is pretending - that this is all just a one-man show – but Damon falls the to the floor, pressing his face against the hardwood, his hand still covering his mouth.

"Damon!" Moving to one knee, looking him over for some kind of an injury, Stefan says his brother's name in such a way that it hurts me, seeing him worried for his brother. Moments later, Katherine and Bonnie are standing off to our right and Jeremy is to our left. It's unbelieveable… I never knew Damon was such an actor. My God he should get some kind of an award for this… he's even sweating!

After a particularly gut-wrenching moan from Damon, Bonnie calls out,"What's wrong with him?", through her fingers, shaking and covering her mouth.

"Stop it, Damon!" I yell, stepping up to him, "Stop!" and before I can reconsider I push at his side, knocking him off balance and onto his side as I feel Stefan's stare burning against my skin. I turn to look at him, confusion furrowing his beautiful face into a fearful grimace as his brother writhes on the floor a moment longer then finally speaks.

"I didn't mean it!" It's a loud, groaned murmur, escaping Damon's mouth as he gasps for oxygen with his chest heaving and the tension in his muscles suddenly gone. "I was just going to scare her."

"What?" Stefan asks quietly, almost to himself.

"I was in the road, Elena." When I look down at Damon's sweat covered face, I feel like I might pass out as I register his quickly released words and connect all the pieces in my mind. "I was in the road and the car was coming and he should have just stopped like everyone else. Miranda was going to tell the council. After we talked at the bar, I followed her home and listened as she called your dad and my cover was going to be blown. I didn't mean to kill them, I swear! He should have just stopped. But he didn't stop! He swerved way too far and then over-corrected and the next thing I knew the car was going through the guard rails and I could hear them screaming… I could hear you scream."

"Stop." My voice is barely there. To be honest, I'm not sure I actually said it or just mouthed the word silently, unable to use my vocal chords.

"I wish I would have ran down to the water! I should have went to save them. Her. You."

Stefan stands, steps away from Damon and towards me but I can't look at him, I can't move my eyes away from Damon and the truth rattling out of his mouth.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU?!" Jeremy screams at him from somewhere behind me. An angry, powerful burst of sound that rattles through the heavy silence and matches the fury that radiating through me.

Hearing yet another damning question seems to be physically painful for Damon as he sits up, resting his weight back on his hands and still looking at me with those cold, unfeeling eyes. In less than sixty seconds every decent thought I've ever had about Damon Salvatore has been demolished, destroyed, dissolved – the truth has changed everything.

In a frustrated tone, Damon seems to give up trying to fight from answering and says in the most unattached tone you can imagine, "Because I didn't care if she died."

-Stefan-

I guess I wasn't expecting it – the instant I realize what was happening I moved to stop her, but Elena's fist made pretty decent contact with Damon's face before I was able to grab her.

I've got my arms around her small frame, holding her completely off the ground and heading towards our room as she screams somewhat incoherently through tears and what I image is probably pain like never before. I've not even got us to the bedroom door before I hear the unmistakable sound of breaking bone through the "I HATE YOU!" coming from Elena's mouth and directly against my ringing ear drum.

Taking a quick look over my shoulder, I see Jeremy lay a second punch into Damon's face – hear that bone crunch that I used to enjoy so much – and let a now silent Elena slide out of my arms.

She starts to come with me, but we share a quick look – a silent conversation in a fraction of a second like only two people that know each other through and through can have – and she goes to our bedroom and I move to stop Jeremy.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Jeremy bellows at me, shoving me back with twice as much force as I used to remove him from Damon.

I'm about to try and talk some sense into him, calm my brother-in-law down, but Damon is on his feet and charges Jeremy – shattering the glass in one of the French windows and then simultaneously falling to the deck, blindly throwing punches and kicks and grunted insults.

By the time I actually separate them, Damon had landed the majority of the punches and to be honest, Jeremy looks like he's just been in his very first bar fight. His brow is busted, his left eye already turning colors and a large hemorrhage filling the white of his eye with a bright, crimson red. Also bruised, Damon is still raring to go, pushing my arms away from his chest, glaring and boiling with the rage that we Salvatore's seem to have been born with – but when I look back to Jeremy, I'm just a little bit worried that he might be about to cry.

He's been screwing my brothers girlfriend, he's attempted to stake me with a wooden crossbow bolt, and he and Bonnie spent a good four years turning Elena's last remaining memories of me into a soured version that they'd made up, but there is nothing worse than crying infront of a bunch of guys that you want to look tough in front of. Seriously, it's a mutilation of a man's confidence like no other. I shouldn't care – like I said, Jeremy isn't exactly on my list of friends, not that I have any other than Elena, Damon, and Caroline, but Elena loves her brother more than anyone else in this world less Allie and Grayson, so I have to help him.

Giving Damon one last shove, using as much strength as I can muster, he stumbles back on fatigued legs and finally gives up. I don't know why the broken door pisses me off so badly, but I'm raging – I can feel myself bowing up as I look from my older brother who's just admitted to killing my in-laws, to the broken glass of the French Doors Elena and I ordered when we remodeled, then finally to Jeremy's very young, very bruised face.

"We're leaving!" Jeremy groans, wiping a mixture of spit and blood from his mouth and slinging it on the deck, my rage increasing.

"Good, get the fuck out of here!" Damon cuts back, standing straight now and beginning to move closer to Jeremy until Katherine steps around me and goes to Damon like she gives a damn about him – I turn away when she gently touches his swelling cheekbone.

I turns my stomach to see her pretending to care about him.

I stand there a bit longer, trying to ignore the make-shift boxers and their female counterparts as I look out at the approaching grey wall clouds and wonder how in the hell a weekend that started out with such promise turned into this…

Then I hear glass break.

-Caroline-

Klaus is standing at the sink and turning an empty tumbler around in his hand the same way a quarterback player might toss a football. I guess I'm lost in my own thoughts about the pointless Elena/Damon showdown – I mean, hello? We all knew he was a male-slut! – but I don't realize that Klaus is staring at me for a long while. I've started unpeeling a banana out of the wooden bowl of fruit Elena keeps on the isle and flipping through my Twitter list before I feel the tension in the room,

Surprised, I look up to find Klaus' bleached blue eyes on my face… but not really my eyes, and what's worse, he's doing that half-puckered lip thing that he does when he's pissed.

"What's the matter?" Surely he's not that disappointed that Damon didn't kill Elena's parents!

"You know, love," Klaus smiles. I swallow hard. This smile, it's a threat. "might we use the witch for a little truth telling of our own?"

Nervous, I guess, I smile back and shrug, "What do you mean?"

Very cool. Very calm – too calm, Klaus turns the glass again, his eyes cutting from me to the tumbler and back again. "All of this time I've thought that out of every person in the world in more than a thousand years, it was only you I could trust."

This tension, I just cant stand it! In an effort to ease my nerves and hopefully calm him, I go to hug him – it's been so long since he's acted unsure about my love for him… probably all the way back to Naples… I have no clue what he's talking about or why he'd suddenly not trust me! My only guess is my friendship with Stefan, but I've more than explained how I feel for Stefan and I thought Klaus understood that there was zero threat there – none.

My fingers have barely made it to his shoulder before he bows up, grabbing my wrists and stepping towards me with his eyes burning into my face.

"Klaus!" It's a quiet whisper in a scratchy voice that has to match the fear on my face. "What? What did I do?"

"Is it even my child, Caroline? Hm?" I think I hear Elena screaming, but Klaus keeps moving forward and I stumble back trying to match his steps until my body is against the cold, stainless steel refrigerator door. In a seething tone, he asks, "Are you lying about that too?"

"Klaus, what are you talk-"

"I'm talking about Damon Salvatore!" I tremble from the sound of his voice alone – he's the love of my life, my soulmate, but Klaus has a hatred that courses through him and transforms into a monster of unbelievable darkness. "I'm talking about how you've humiliated me by sleeping with that disgusting excuse for a man!"

I shake my head – totally confused, terrified.

-Elena-

I was sitting on my bed, bawling into my hands as I listened to the sound of my baby brother fighting the man that killed our parents and hearing his confession looping over and over in my head when the door broke. But it's been a few minutes since Stefan ended the fight and the glass breaking seemed to have come from inside, so I've quickly wiped my face and blew my nose and I'm heading into the kitchen when my over-zealous emotions fly from raging anger to raging jealousy.

There he is again – my Greek God of a husband with his big hands cradling Caroline's face and those green eyes of his looking softly into hers.

Thankfully, I don't scream at him, or throw the second punch of my entire life – as I get closer I hear Caroline's gasping breath and cries and feel the frequency with Stefan… he's angry. Like, Mystic Falls angry. Like violent angry – what's wrong with me that this feeling is comforting? Furious Stefan feels warm to me. Stefan off the rails feels safe, like nothing bad will happen… atleast, not to me. My very own white knight, my soldier.

"Is he always like this?" Stefan asks, searching Caroline's face. "Answer me!"

"Stefan?" I say his name in such a way that I'm asking a hundred questions at once.

Answering one –Do you know I don't like you holding her face so intimately? – Stefan steps back, clenching his jaw and running both of his hands through his hair, and leaving Caroline leaning against the table.

Answering another – Why are you so angry? – his voice is the closest thing to a growl that I've heard come from his beautiful mouth since the night he killed Kol, "Klaus hit her."

"No!" Caroline whines, wiping her wet cheeks – I notice she's not looking at me, my eyes dancing between Stefan and Caroline's blonde hair. "It was an accident!"

Possessed with some untitled emotion that is an equal mixture of fear and anger and worry and shock, I take wide strides into the kitchen and move in front of her, taking Caroline's face in my hands – a mirror image of Stefan's hold – and lift her face to mine.

"It's just little!" Caroline's eyes are wide, wet with tears, her lips trembling and a small gash just in front of her earlobe is dripping a bit of blood down her cheek. "Some of the broken glass hit me! Not Klaus!"

"I'm going to fu—" Stefan's sentence turns into a grunt, slamming his fist into the cabinet door, leaving speck of blood from what I assume is a busted knuckle on the white wood.

"What happened?" I'm trying to keep my voice calm, my hands steady, but honestly… I kind of want Stefan to kill him.

Caroline opens her mouth to speak, but Klaus' voice carries in from the garage and Stefan bolts out of the door with his hands in tight fists.

"Stefan! NO!" Caroline tries to reach him, but I manage to stay just enough in her way that she misses grabbing his arm and I don't look too obvious.

Just before slams the door, he looks back at me and I don't know if I'm telling him Im okay, he and I can talk later, or giving him permission to handle Klaus – but I'm fine with any way that he takes the very small nod I give him before returning my attention to Caroline.

-Stefan-

He's standing at the end of my SUV, leaning against the bumper and talking on his phone. I'm sure he knows I'm out here. He has to know that I know he hit Caroline, but he doesn't even acknowledge my presence – continuing to talk about flights back to the States as I pick up flat head screw driver from the Craftsman toolchest that sits just to the left of the door.

I've slipped the handle up my sleeve just enough that the metal is hidden by my forearm and wrist – the sharp end resting in my curled fingers and palm.

"Hang up."

Turning his head to me slowly, Klaus has that sly smile on his face that he uses to try and disarm you… trying too hard to play it cool.

Holding his finger up to me, he asks the person on the phone about a flight tonight and the fact that he's putting me on hold just goes all over me, so with my free hand, I grab the phone from his ear.

Letting his cool demeanor slip, Klaus bows up at me and I have a quick set of flashback of the many times I've gone up against him… finally, we're equals. The thought makes me tingle, dropping the screwdriver through my finger and letting the handle slip into my wrist.

Klaus catches it just about the same time I feel a small smile play at my lips – My words to Jeremy were truer than even I knew. Killing is easy. Killing is rewarding – I had to admit it, but it's not the killing that hard to do, it's living with it afterwards. Oddly enough, I don't think I'm going to feel regret about what will hopefully be my final kill.

"Oh, so this is where we are now, brother?" Klaus almost coos his words to me – I swear he's not even a little threatened by me. Surely he realizes that as human, it's all a level playing field now.

Turning my head to the side a bit, popping my neck as my finger tighten around the screwdriver, the other hand at my side, fingers waggling with anticipation, I correct him. "I am not your brother, Klaus."

Cocky, Klaus nods an agreeance. "True. I'm not qualified to be, I guess, with my vast amount of morals and high-standards and good deeds in comparison to that miscreant you happen to share blood with." Even though I realize nothing he's said is untrue, it just turns up my anger a notch when Klaus talks about Damon. "But, rest assured, Stefan – Damon has probably not had the time to move in on your wife as he's been sleeping with mine."

_Damnit, Caroline._ My grip on the screwdriver relaxes a bit. I'm trying piece that together – when would they have had a chance to meet up? Maybe while Damon had abandoned Katherine and Elena, Caroline, and Bonnie had gone into town – and I don't see Klaus make a much-too-quick move, taking his phone and the screwdriver from my hands.

Literally, I don't see him – he's that fast.

I step back – suddenly on the defensive. "Klaus?"

He gets my question – I mean, I'm probably looking at him like he's on fire so the question can't be too hard to pick up.

"No." He laughs, slipping his phone back into his pocket, then inspecting the flat head metal. "Not a vampire, my friend."

I watch the long piece of steel as he steps closer to me and I take an equal stride backwards and consider all of my defense plans… I'm backed into a garage with a wall to my right and the SUV to my left… I have no options. If he comes at me, I'm done for. I decide to keep him talking – Klaus likes to talk, especially about himself.

"How? How'd you do that?"

There's that smile again – the one that doesn't quite reach his eyes and seems to be a bit wider than his natural grin. I feel the back of my shoe hit the concrete wall and I know I can't go back any further just as Klaus lifts the screwdriver towards me – pressing the flat steel point against my chest.

I've never been good at reading him – I've known Klaus for a total of probably ten years now, and honestly I've never known anyone as hard to figure out as he is. So when he stops the pressure of the metal against my chest bone just short of being painful and gives a chuckle, I have no idea what he's planning on next.

"That spell broke the vampire curse, but I was blessed with two curses, remember?"

Like I said, I can't read him, but I'm almost sure that his light tone is covering a bit of anger, resentment maybe…

"You're still a werewolf."

Dropping the screwdriver from my chest, he tosses in the air, quickly flipping it around and catching the handle in his palm with the metal pointed towards him – gesturing for me to take it – responding in a solemn tone, "In the flesh."

He gives me a few minutes to process as he activates his phone again and taps through a few screens, raising his eyes to me only when I go to put the screwdriver back in the drawer. I can feel the beginnings of a major headache coming on – there's been far too much drama for one day – when Klaus says, "I love being rich! While you're pitiful excuse for family have to stay with you another night, Caroline and I will be leaving in only a few hours – first class, leather seats, full service, champagne – all the works."

"So what now? You're going back to Virginia to be with Elijah and Rebekah?" I ask, figuring out how I'm going to tell him Caroline won't be making the flight. "How do they feel about you being the only supernatural in the family?"

Like he's telling me the most useless bit of information, Klaus sighs, "They don't. I killed them." My wide eyes and slightly gaping mouth must tell him I need more information as he continues without me asking, speaking as he types out a text, "You saw what they did to Caroline – burning her, stabbing her. No one will hurt my wife and live to see the morning." I hate when I agree with Klaus, but I know that feeling all the way down to my bones. After a few seconds of silence, letting that settle in I guess, he looks up and me, giving a friendly smile when he says,"We're going to need to get on the road."

I'm basically signing my death sentence, I know, but that's not going to happen – he's not going anywhere with Caroline. "No. Caroline can stay here."

Klaus rolls his eyes and gives a much too loud hmph, "I didn't mean to cut her! Are you serious! Have you seen that perfect face of hers?" I don't budge, my arms crossed tight over my chest and my eyes locked with his. "Stefan! I got angry – you know how I can be when I lose my temper!" When I continue to hold my ground, Klaus adds, "I've never hit her. I _will_ never hit her. But she is my wife and she will be going on that plane with me."

Swallowing hard, I clench my jaw and nod a simple 'no'.

I can almost see anger flowing up Klaus' neck, flushing his face – I'm about to stand, ready to put up a fight, when the door from the laundry room opens and Caroline comes out… walking straight into Klaus arms.

-Elena-

_I can't look at Damon. I just. I can't. So until he and Katherine can either get a hotel room or find a flight, I'm staying in my room. _

_I heard him say he didn't mean to kill them – but what weight does that hold when he could have saved them! Stefan was hunting near-by when he heard the tires screech and the crashing through the guard rails – and by near-by, I mean about a mile away. Damon was already there! Damon was right there and he could have saved my father… maybe even my mother! So maybe he didn't mean for the car to wreck, but he just as much killed them as if he would have ripped out their throats…_

_And now this thing with Caroline and Klaus! _

_I know she swears he didn't do it on purpose and that he's never done it before, but let's be honest here! That's not exactly out of the realm of possibilities for Klaus! I knew that something about him was off – almost too good to be true. Now I can't stop all the terrible thoughts in my mind from wondering just how much of him was false to cover up the Klaus that we are all used to. When Stefan came in to check on me, he told me that Klaus admitted to killing his siblings! He said that Klaus is still a werewolf. Before Caroline and he left, I'd tried to pull her aside and ask if she thought about what that meant for her unborn child, but she seemed so protective of Klaus. She wouldn't leave his side… well, other than during the long, sobbing hug she gave to Stefan, that is._

_Seriously, I've got to get a hold on this jealousy. Like now. Today. _

_Klaus shook my hand, kissing the top of it and making me want to puke, then gave Stefan this big bromance hug that I could tell made Stefan almost as nauseous as the hand kiss made me. Then Caroline hugged Stefan – no big thing, just a hug – then moved to me and squeezed me really tight and was almost crying. She asked me to move back for the hundredth time, reminded me about getting pre-fitted for my maiden of honor dress, hugged again, then went to get in the car. With Allie at my side, Stefan and I wave by as they start to back out of the driveway… I'm thinking, okay, there's 1/3 of the problem gone, 2 more to go, when the rental car stops and out comes a bawling Caroline! She's running back up the driveway to hug me again – half smiling cause she knows she's silly like this sometimes and half heartbroken about leaving me. So I let go of Allie's hand and start to hold my arms out to her when I notice that her line of projection is just a bit off if she's coming to hug me…_

_She slams into Stefan. Arms around his neck, his around her waist. I don't know if he said it back as she was literally sobbing by now, but she dropped an "I love you!" in the middle of her bawling into the curve of his neck. So I stand there, feeling like a fool, watching my best friend clung to my husband and his hand rubbing across her shoulder blades._

_So after what seemed like an eternity, she finally steps back and blows Allie a kiss, leaving me with a 'Bye, Elena.' – so I guess I know the pecking order now. Caroline is Stefan's friend, then mine. Got it._

_I've offered to take Bonnie and Jeremy to Bangkok tomorrow since Damon and Katherine haven't found a flight out yet, but until then I'm holed up in my bedroom with Bonnie and Katherine playing with Grayson, Lola, and Liam, and Allie laying next to me 'writing' in her journal. I know, I know, I'm her mother so I'm crazy biased, but she's just so stinking cute! When she was younger, we'd get up in the morning and have coffee together – black for me, and plain old chocolate milk for her – now that Stefan's with us, I get to sleep late and the dawn-bonding has become their thing while she and I have started journaling. _

_Usually, I help her – ask her questions like how was your day, what did you learn in school, who did you play with, what was the best part of your day, the worst part – then help her with any spelling or writing (Side note – she hardly has any, my little Salvatore genius!). I'm just to wound up and stretched tonight though, so she's doodling really. Looks like she's working on her cursive capital M's. Pretty sure she's practicing M because of this sweet little dark haired boy in her class named Moosa that she has a crush on. It's driving Stefan crazy – all the Moosa talk, but I get along with his mom pretty well and they have fun playdates, so I just laugh at Stefan and his over-protectiveness. _

_I hope he laughs at my over-jealousness…_

Liam has been really fussy, getting worse by the minute, and when Bonnie gets up from the floor with him cradled and throwing a fit, I already know before she says, "I think it's time for Mr. Crabby to get some sleep!" What I don't know is who she's speaking to – me or Katherine – when she adds, "Will you watch Lola for a minute?"

It's very odd-awkward when we both say, "Sure" in the exact same voice coming from photo-copied mouths.

Katherine frowns at me and I just shrug – whatever.

I think Katherine has been waiting for a minute alone with me, because the instant the door shuts, she starts in, "You've got to give him a break, Elena."

I'm still not used to having a twin – it kind of feels like I'm having a heated discussion with my reflection in a mirror. Even the way we move our eyebrows when we speak is the same. "Why? Why should I? He's had years to tell me the truth, Katherine!"

"And give up the only person that has ever believed he was good?" Katherine argues, nodding her head to make a point… just like I do. "Yea, that was going to happen."

I roll my eyes… just like she does – then decide Allie doesn't need to hear our much too adult conversation. "Hey babe, why don't you go see if Daddy will light the fire pit and you make us some marshmellows?"

Allie's nearly bounces off the bed with excitement, leaving her journal _and_ Stefan's phone where she'd been sitting. "Okay!"

I stop her by pinching her yellow tee-shirt in the back and she giggles when she falls back on the bed. "How many times have I asked you to not run off with Daddy's phone?"

Still giggling and looking up at me with Stefan-green eyes, I brush back her Stefan-waved hair as she says, "A lot of times, Mommy."

Sitting his Iphone in her hand, I give my best _I'm serious_ look even though I'm kinda finding her too cute to do the mommy-look properly, saying "Take him his phone and do. not. run off with it again, okay?"

Allie nods, then turns to Katherine, "I know how to play some of the games and I like to listen to Daddy's music and look at the pictures he takes of Mommy and me and baby Grayson." Then trots out of the room, leaving Katherine with a furrowed brow.

I'm about to start in on the Damon-topic again, but Grayson vomits right on Katherine's lavender lacey top and black skirt – It's so much that I immediately think he must be ill, but he sits back and gives a grimacing Katherine and huge smile and coo.

"That's dis-gusting!" She cries, holding up her hands like she's covered in maggots. _So dramatic._

"It's fine. Really. It comes right out." Off the bed and scooping up Grayson, I get a better look now that I'm standing over her and Grayson really got her good. I don't know why I want to giggle about it. I mean, we're friends now, but at one point Katherine was my biggest enemy. "You should probably soak it though. If you wanna go get changed, I'll toss it in the wash."

As if she's about to puke, Katherine gives a silent convulsion, her body rolling up and her lips parting, hands still up in the air. "It's just. Oh my God, Elena. It smells so bad!"

Ok, I can't help it, Iaugh. When I laugh, Lola laughs and poor Katherine is left sitting in the floor with vomit all over her. "I know, I'm sorry. It just happens."

As if it's a chore, Katherine finally forces herself to look at her clothing and gives a huge, _dramatic_, sigh. "I don't have anything else! We were supposed to leave tonight, remember!"

Okay – makes sense as to why she's sorta dressed up. I've been wearing Stefan's button up over my bikini top and a pair of holey jeans while Katherine traiped around in a snug skirt and tank – one frumpy Doppelganger, one hot Doppelganger. "Just take something of mine." I motion to the closet.

"Will anything you have fit me?" She asks, moving to her feet.

I guess hitting Damon this afternoon as really opened up my violent streak because I'm tempted to push her down.

"I wear the same size I've worn forever, _Katerina."_ Holding Grayson, about the best I can do is call her by her given name – which she hates to hear, by the way. My reflection smirks a bit, looks me up and down with eyes that look just like mine, as if she just can't believe it, so I add. "Seriously. Other than one dress, I'm back in all of my clothes."

"Should I take that dress then?" She asks, stripping off the tank top and revealing a very taute version of my stomach… minus a c-section scare and faded stretch-marks. UGH.

Tearing my eyes away, I shake my head no. "It's actually Ste- my favorite dress, so no." I'm not sure why I caught myself from saying Stefan, but I'm glad I did. "It's my goal dress, I guess. But anything else is fine."

Kicking off the skirt, Katherine leaves her dirty clothes in the floor by my bed like I'm supposed to clean up after her. I turn to give her a glare as she's walking into the closet and I immediately regret it – she's perfect. Her body is flawless. The bitch is even wearing a thong. I'm wearing a pair of panties I've had for like three years… bending to pick up her clothes, I decide I have got to step up my game.

And stop with the carbs. And wine.

UGH.

-Stefan-

"No scorpio's tonight?" I ask, leaning over to kiss Allie's forehead.

We've read through the last two chapters of The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, and I have to say, I'm pretty impressed with this book. Allie really liked it, mainly because of all the silly characters, but I try to get her to see the meanings behind the stories – when I asked her what she thought this books lesson was, she basically read my mind. _The point of life is to love, not to be loved. _

So either she's just really bright, or that's yet another mark on the list of things to be concerned about regarding Allie's oddities.

"I hope not." She yawns, wiggling down deeper beneath her pink and green comforter. "I have got to get some rest. I'm going to get wrinkles."

Laughing, I brush her hair back and kiss her wrinkle-less forehead again. "You know what, I think I see one right there." I tease, tickling behind her ear. She hunches her shoulders, giggling and turning away from my hand. "And there!" I squeeze her sweet little nose before she covers her head with her blanket, muffling her laughter.

You know how I feel about Elena's laugh, right? Multiply that by… oh, maybe a thousand, and you'll get a sense of how the sound of my daughters laugh fills my heart to the brim.

"Shh, you're Mom is going to yell at us if we wake up any of the babies!" I try to quiet her, half-serious.

Nearly to the door, Allie asks, "When is Aunt Kathy going home?"

"Soon." Odd question… why not Bonnie or Jeremy or Damon? "Tomorrow, probably. Why?"

Elena has told me that I have telling eyes – I don't know if I do, honestly I think I'm pretty decent and keeping a neutral face, but sometimes I think I might know what she's talking about when I see Allie feeling conflicted. It's hard to explain, but there is a slight change on her face – maybe her eyebrows or her lashes, I don't know, but I can see she's wondering if she should say anything.

Going back to her bed, I squat down so I can look her in the eyes, whispering, "You can tell me anything. Even if you think I'm going to be mad… there is nothing you can say that would ever make me upset with you, Allie. You know that right?"

She nods, her eyes losing that odd emotion. After a moment or two more, she finally says, "Well, It's just that… I don't like that she looks like Mommy."

_Yea, me neither._

-Elena-

I've just gotten out of the shower, my hair is soaking wet and bleeding water into the white teeshirt of Stefan's that I'm wearing, when he comes into the bedroom. I see him through the mirror, kicking off his shoes, socks. Removing his shirt – unveiling that Greek God body of his, with its rolling muscles and shadowed crevices. I should probably be embarrassed when he catches me watching his deft fingers unfasten his belt, but I'm not – my hand hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts… If I want to eyeball my husband's spectacular body, I will.

I watch the muscles of his torso flex and roll, flex and roll, flex and roll, with each step as he comes to the open door of the bathroom – I feel his eyes on my barelegs.

"Where is everyone?" I ask, my gaze trailing up his to his chest.

"Bonnie and Jeremy are in bed. Katherine and Damon went for a walk." We're alone. The frequency between us revs a bit.

And just like gravity, Stefan is pulled to me and I lean back against him, finally able to relax now that I'm wrapped in his arms. He kisses my cheek, below my ear – just small, tender kisses.

"You smell so good." I sigh, turning my face against his hair, raising my hand to run my fingers through it. The moment my hand touches his head, a sharp jolt of pains shoots up my arm and I flinch.

Now concerned about my hand, our push/pull feeling falls back a bit as I turn to face him and Stefan inspects my bruised and swollen hand. Gently, he uses his thumb and forefinger to move each of my fingers up, down – sliding his touch down to the sensitive tips then moving to the next. He looks up once, finds me staring at his perfect lips like a starved animal, and gives a soft, sexy, half-smile before continuing to examine my hand. After gently pressing on the two middle knuckles and only getting a small wince out of me, I guess he's happy with the condition of my punching-Damon-in-the-face hand, because he lifts it to his lips and kisses the top of my hand.

I know. I know I shouldn't react to my husband of six years with such fever, but my mouth is actually watering as I watch his mouth form words.

"And though she be but little," turning my hand over, he kisses my palm, "she is fierce."

Locking his emerald eyes with my brown, punctuating his sentence with that hungry grin of is, I release a shaky exhale in pure awe of this man.

He places my hand against his chest, then slips his fingers into my hair, cradling my head as I turn into his touch and kiss his inner wrist. "What was that?" I ask in a whisper, just as Stefan's mouth moves against the curve of my neck.

The gentle grazing of his lips against my skin sends tremors all the way through my body, tingling my toes, "Shakespeare."

My gorgeous husband, and his big hands, and his deep voice, and his beautiful mind uses Shakespeare quotes to turn me to a shivering, burning hot, bundle of nerve-endings.

"I love you." I sigh – sometimes those words just come out of my mouth without my brain ever telling me to. My body loves Stefan. My soul loves Stefan. My skin, my lungs, my ears, my eyes… every single piece of me loves this man.

Usually, my saying I love you sets him on fire… but right now, he's still – his fingers in my hair, his other hand beneath my shirt gripping at my hip, and his lips against my shoulder.

I nearly fall down when he says, "We need to talk."

My whole body turns into this foreign substance – I can't explain it, but it's like I'm made out of jello. Like my nerves are actual shaking with fear as to what _we need to talk_ actually means.

Moving back to look at me, he cups my face with his hands and the second I see his eyes… his very telling grass-green eyes, I know I'm about to cry. Whatever he's going to say – what we need to talk about, it's going to hurt.

"I love. You. Elena." He nods. "There will never be anyone else that I could love the way I love you. Okay?" Oh my God, I'm going to pass out… or maybe I'm about to have a heart attack. I can't breathe. "You know that. You know I belong to you. You own me. I am yours. Okay?"

So many scenarios are moving at lightning speed through my mind's eye – everything from him having some terminal form of cancer to him telling me he's leaving me – but what jumps through my filters and out of my mouth is. "But, you slept with Caroline?"

"What?" Stefan's gentle hands feel a bit less gentle, his face frowning at me with deep creases in his forehead. "No? God, why would you think that?"

"Then what?" I ask, sounding more frantic than I hoped but less than I actually feel. I push his hands from my face… I need to walk or I may have a stroke. "What happened? You kissed her? You've realized you're in love with her?"

Stefan turns in place and watches me walk out of the bathroom, pivot and come right back – I just can't stand still. "What are you talking about? No, of course not, Elena."

"But the way you are with her – something is up!" I nearly shout, heading back out of the bathroom.

This time Stefan follows me – by the looks of it, he's getting frustrated. His brow is low, he keeps looking away from me, pursing his lips. But he doesn't get angry until I say, "I knew it. I knew this was going to happen. Remember? I said it when we were fooling around in the kitchen just before Bonnie and Jeremy showed up! Just tell me, Stefan. Don't drag it out… what did you do?"

Now everything is making sense – Caroline's statement about an eternally guilty conscience. All the face holding, the way too long hugs, the much too close standing! That amazing thing he did to me in the hotel room! I'm lost in my own thoughts for a long while, but when I finally look at Stefan he's glaring at me – seething on the inside, calm on his exterior, but he can't hide what his eyes are giving away.

"You know what I did, Elena… I looked at Katherine." He nods. _He looked at Katherine? _Speaking in a quicker pace than usual, Stefan's voice has a flare of anger in it that both concerns me and turns me on at the same time. "I couldn't find my cell phone, so I went into the extra bedroom where Allie was playing with it earlier in the day and Katherine was taking a nap. I wasn't thinking and when I saw her, she was on top of the cover and her dress was pulled up and I saw her legs and her stomach and her underwear."

"You didn't sleep with Caroline?" What in the hell is wrong with me? Why did I just say that?

Inhaling deeply, raising his chest then exhaling loudly through his nose he shakes his head. "You actually think I'd cheat on you?"

No. I don't think that. But that doesn't take away the huge fear that he's going to figure out one day that I'm pretty much just an ordinary girl and he could have anyone that he wanted… but instead of saying that, I shrug.

He shrugs too, mimicking me. "What's that?" He does it again. "You don't know if I would cheat on you?"

"Stefan. I just. I worry." Somehow this has got turned around on me. "So you looked at Katherine. Okay. Is that it?"

Frowning, he sits on the bed and tilts his head from side to side – a motion that tells me he's getting pretty pissed off and his neck is starting to get tense. "Is what it?"

"So you saw her legs and her stomach and her panties. I mean, why do the whole _we need to talk_ thing if that was all?"

"So now you're asking me if I slept with Katherine?" Stefan groans, shaking his head in disbelief and picking his shirt up off the ground.

He's wadding it into a tight ball when I say, "I have no idea. You tell me!"

"Elena." He sighs my name, turning his head to look at me standing at the foot of the bed. "I will never cheat on you. Never. What we have, our family – your respect… it means way too much to me to ever give up." I step closer to him, his hand taking mine the moment I'm within reach. He's looking at my fingers when he says, "I just don't understand why you don't think better of me."

Ouch. That is not it at. all.

I do my best to explain that its not him – I trust him. I trust him with my life. I know he's too good of a man to cheat, but I get so scared that I'm not going to be enough for him. That I'm going to one day wake up and be less than what he thought I was… I almost start in on how knowing that he is mine was the only thing that got me out of bed most days when I was losing a friend or a family member ever other day and constantly in danger, but I pause too long after my long spill about my own insecurities and he says, "I need to tell you what happened, Elena. But you've _got to_ understand it meant nothing."

I sit next to him and nonchalantely take my hand from his – using pushing my hair behind my ears as the reason – "Okay" I say, all the while the voice in my head is saying, _isn't that what all cheaters say?_

"I get my phone out of the floor by the desk and I'm on my way out when she says my name. I thought she was awake so I turn back to her." He presses his lips together, frowns deeply and looks away from me. "She was still asleep and she says my name again… in, that way." Katherine was having a sex dream about Stefan… okay, now I'm going to have a stroke. "I don't know why or how I got caught up in that but she started… uhm…" Flashing his green eyes at me quickly, he looks at his fingers tightly laced together, fisted between his knees, then over to my feet. "She was… touching herself."

I stand up like a lightning bolt. "WHAT!?"

"I know. I'm sorry." Stefan tries, but I don't really want to hear it right now.

"So she's _touching _herself and saying _your name_ and you what?!" I feel like I'm about to explode but honestly I don't know if I'm more angry with him or her. That's a lie… I'm most angry with Stefan. "You do what!?" I yell

"I.. I, I watched her."

It's funny how I can go from a rabid feeling of rage to this dead calm-water numbness… "you watched her?"

He nods. "For maybe 10 seconds."

"So…" Ten seconds! "You wanted her?"

Shaking his head no but still not making eye contact with me, Stefan says, "She looks like you Elena."

I'm just completely confused – he's watching Katherine masturbate and he's thinking of me? Yea. I doubt it. "What does that mean?"

Finally, his eyes leave the floor and find mine. "It means that I love you. That I wanted you and when I saw her, looking like you, I made a mistake! I shouldn't have gone in there, I shouldn't have looked at her, I shouldn't have stayed in the room!" I'm about to scream at him – not sure what I'm going to scream, but I know I'm going to say something really loudly, but he adds, "I hate her, Elena. I despise the woman, I want nothing to do with her… you have to know I'm telling you the truth about that."

I do. I know that. I can feel it. I can see it in his eyes. Still, I stand there staring at him and him staring back at me for a long while – just the whirl of the ceiling fan above our bed and the sound of the tide coming in before I hear Damon's voice.

"Let's go to bed." I say lazily, feeling like I've just been drug through a boxing match.

I climb straight into bed and let Stefan close the windows to keep the potential rain from getting in, take a shower, and turn the house down. By the time he makes it to bed, I'm doing a great job of pretending to be asleep and in the dark, when he kisses my shoulder and tells me he loves me, it's the first time that I've not said it back.

Taking Bonnie and Jeremy to Bangkok will serve two purposes – keeping me away from both Salvatore's until I get my feet back on the ground. If I plan it right, I can get out of here before Stefan gets back from his run…

-Stefan-

Sometimes I wish I would listen to my conscience more often – it seems like the one time I ignore that whispering warning in my head, that's when I pay the price.

I knew I shouldn't have gone running this morning. I woke up at 4:40 like always, my body set to an internal clock that never fails, and I just got up and followed the motions and went running. When I got back from the short loop and found Allie playing with Damon outside and Elena, Grayson, Bonnie, Jeremy and the Twins gone, I broke a little.

She left without saying goodbye. She spent a few hours pretending sleep and planning out her escape…

I knew Elena was going to be upset – who wouldn't be? However I didn't see her skipping town for 15 hours.

It feels strange being here alone – er, with just Allie. Damon and Katherine found a flight that leaves in two hours and the airport is a 45m drive, so after a quick breakfast with Allie and me, they left.

I left Allie with them to distract them while I tucked $3500 into Damon's Kenneth Cole bag. I didn't want him to have to go through his little brother giving him money, so I wrapped it up in a drawing Allie did of Sir Damon and put a note in from me:

_Damon,  
I know you specifically told me you didn't need money, but you also mentioned that I had plenty so STFU and take it. Use it for school or whatever – maybe finally go get a decent hair cut? HA!  
Seriously though, brother, I'm really proud of you for working through school. It was hard as a vampire, so I can't imagine how bad it must be when human.  
Take care and I hope to see you soon – clean out my room for me as I have a strong suspicion Elena will be wanting to move back to VA soon.  
The Better Looking Salvatore,  
Stefan_

I'm sure when he finds it he'll call and gripe me out about it, but by that time we'll be in different timezones and he'll have to do it via voicemail.

You wouldn't believe how torn up our house is after just a couple of days – one of the handrails on the deck is cracked, that French door needs replacing, there are three holes in the wall of the master bedroom, blood on the kitchen cabinet, and last night's storm took off some shingles – so my day is full.

I'm sitting up the ladder to the roof when Allie comes out of the house wearing a pair of cowboy boots, blue jeans, a long-sleeved plaid shirt, and a Bob the Builder tool belt and says, "Ok Daddy, put me to work!"

-Elena-

I've sent Stefan about fifteen text messages and he hasn't responded at all – it's not like him, so once we finally got through the horrible traffic and made it to the airport, I tried calling a few times but it went straight to voicemail. My only other option is Damon, but I hate him right now so Bonnie is giving me Katherine's number.

It took a good ten hours to make the seven hour drive, so we're going to get a hotel room and wait for the next flight. I could leave them here, but they don't know their way around and they've got such small babies, I just feel like I should help.

Plus, I've got to figure out a way to make up my huge, overdone blow up to Stefan. I was way too closed off during the drive and the second Jeremy started snoring from the backseat, Bonnie dug in. I told her everything and, like Bonnie always does, she gave me the worst advice. I know, I know – it's hilarious, but as much as I love Bonnie like my sister, I also know her like one and she's the single worst advice giver, ever.

So when she said I should be really angry – I decided maybe I shouldn't be.

When she said I should maybe ask him for some time alone – I knew I had better get home and make it right.

And when Bonnie said that No, she did not think I over reacted – that's when I knew that I had. I mean, come on, he could've never of said anything to me about it at all and I never would have known. Stefan could have just kept it to himself and kept us out of an argument, but he's too good – too moral. Okay, so he spent ten seconds watching Katherine… ugh… do that. Hours earlier I'd called him his brother's name and just like that, he'd forgiven me.

So yea, when Bonnie says right, always go left.

Elena: Hey, it's Elena. Does Stefan have his phone?

Bonnie and Jeremy are somewhere in the airport trying to get the next flight out, so I'm dealing with three babies who are all getting very close to snack time. By the time Katherine messages back, I've got Lola and Liam eating animal crackers and working on a bottle for Grayson.

Katherine: Can't find it. Do you want me to give him a msg?

Elena: Yes, pls! The storm caused a lot of traffic and we missed the flight. We're going to stay the night, but I'll be home most likely by tmoro PM.

Katherine: Ok, we'll be gone by then. Sorry we didn't get to say goodbye this AM

Elena: Stefan and I got into a tiff. Nothing major… stupid stuff, ya know.

It's like the karma Gods are watching me lie and the instant I hit send, it starts raining in heavy sheets, beating on the glass of the SUV so loudly that it frightens Grayson.

Katherine: I understand – boys… he wants to know about what time to expect you.

I type out – _I'm guessing around 3p. _– but erase it and decide it might be more fun to surprise him. I could buy him a little 'I'm sorry' gift and maybe find a lingerie store…

Elena: Probably 7ish.

Katherine: Ok, I'll tell him.

-Stefan-

I'm exhausted, maybe a little sunburned, and the minute I got Allie into bed, I decided to finish up that cheap Gin that Damon bought so I'm also pretty wasted. Something about doing manual labor in the heat makes me want to drink, but with my helper being barely 6 six years old, I had to hold off.

She did a good job – I guess Bob the Builder taught her somethings because when I needed a bolt to replace the broken hand rail, Allie handed me a bolt. Or when I was taking the door down, I turn around to find Allie standing there with a hammer for me to use to knock the hinges out with. She wanted to get on the roof so badly, but I pulled the Daddy card and made her stay on the deck while I pulled up the eleven destroyed shingles and replaced them while it rained on me. Now that the storm is really going good, the lights have flickered a few times and I'm about to just give up on finishing with the holes in the walls.

I've got the two smaller ones repaired less the paint, but the first one I made is pretty big and the plaster and dry wall patch isn't really working the way I'd hoped. The gummy shit is dried all over my fingers and up my arm a bit – I kind of felt cliché' when I took off my shirt, but why ruin a good piece of clothing? Now that I'm laying on the floor, sipping on the Gin that gets better the further into the bottle I get, I'm happy with the decision as the floor is cold against my hot, sunned skin.

I'm almost asleep, just really close when the lights finally go out and the complete and total darkness and deafening silence brings me out of my near- slumber. If I had my phone I could call in the outage… I could listen to music… I could call Elena and beg her to forgive me for my lapse in judgment. But – a few hours after Damon and Katherine left, I found my phone in the toilet! It was killing me to not know if she made it safely to Bangkok or when she's going to be on her way back – but Damon emailed me to let me know everything was okay with them and that she'd contacted them when she couldn't get ahold of me.

So that's a good sign – atleast she's still talking to me, er updating me.

Did I sleep with Caroline? Seriously? See – that's what I'm saying, Elena has no idea how much I love her or she'd know it's not even an option. A few times throughout my very strenuous day, I found myself wondering if she's forgot that she cheated on me? That's shitty of me, right? So I'd push the thought away and go back to mindlessly working and/or playing with Allie – whichever I happened to be doing during the multiple times that thought creeped its way into my head.

When I lift the glass bottle up for another drink and miss my mouth, I decide I've had enough, laughing to myself as I sit up and consider going to take a shower in the dark. While I'm thinking it over, I take a few more drinks of the gin and before I know it, the bottle is empty.

My mind has found its way back to the whole Elena/Damon story and to be honest, I think I sit here too long thinking about it – remembering her with him, remembering him with her, watching them dancing together at the Original's ball, Damon's detailed story about Spain… and I'm tense and angry and hot and drunk off my ass when Elena's voice tremors through my muscles.

"Hey."

I'm holding the empty bottle of gin with my elbows on my knees and my head hanging between my arms, but when she speaks I look up - for the life of me I cannot explain to you how happy I am to see Elena.

My inebriated eye sight moves slower than I mean, trailing up her bare legs, across that satin dress that I love so much, hugging her body in a way that makes me jealous of a piece of clothing, finally making it to her soft, sweet lips.

"Hey" My voice is rough as I haven't spoken in hours and the gin has burnt my throat. "I missed you."

Giving me that sexy, almost shy smile, my body begins to ache for her. "I'm sorry, Stefan." Elena rests against the door frame, pushing her hip out the side in a way that curves her body to my near breaking point. I wish I could control my eyes better because she's trying to make things right and I'm having a very difficult time paying attention. "I was being immature and… silly, I guess. I don't know why I get like that sometimes."

I shake my head, swallow hard and lick my lips, wondering what her skin tastes like – "No, it was my fault, Elena. I should have never…"

"Don't." She smiles. "Let's just let it go, okay?"

God I love her… so much.

"You look exhausted." Laughing, she comes to me and runs her fingers through my hair – I cant control my head, leaning back into the sensation of her touch, my hand slipping around her knee.

When I open my eyes, I'm looking right into hers and I'm just in complete awe of her beauty – she's perfection. "You look beautiful."

Her smiles – there's thousands of them – each one with a different effect on me, but this one makes me want her so badly. It's been awhile since I've seen her smile like this – confidently, like she knows exactly how badly I need her. I watch her lips as she bends at the waist and my hand moves up her leg and I think she's going to kiss me but stops just short - slipping her hand beneath my chin she pushes me onto my back.

"Do you like this dress?" Her voice has got that rasp in it and I swear just hearing her speak is doing things to my mind that no other woman can do.

Without thinking, I give her the most honest response I have, "You're body looks amazing in that dress."

Then she giggles, stepping over me, straddling me – I have to remind myself that I cant just pull her down to the floor and have my way with her.

Lifting the hem of her dress up, slowly revealing her svelte, warm, perfect legs and curved hips, I can't take my eyes off of her as she says, "So you like my body, Stefan?" My heart starts pounding a bit harder in my tight chest.

"So much" I say through gritted teeth, my palms are tingling – I have to touch her.

Elena drops the dress beside me just about the time my fingers wrap around her ankles and my eyes are captivated by the lacy black see-thru bra and panties.

I watch her hands move down the curve of her waist, over those hips that mesmerize me, down to her legs. She's caressing her skin and making me jealous of her own touch when she asks, "Do you like my thighs, Stefan?"

I bite into my bottom lip hard, nodding and raging to touch her, taste her.

Moving her hands in an achingly slow cadence, she slips her fingers beneath the panty line, touching and teasing and I'm dying – so hard I'm hurting.

"And my hips?"

"Their perfect." I say in an exhale.

When she moves one hand over her flat, soft stomach, she releases this whispered moan, tilting her head back and her long hair falling to one side and I just cant take it anymore. In a quick motion, I sit up and pull at the back of her knee to make her sit, catching her with the other arm and rolling to her back.

"Stefan!" She laughs, I'm kissing her neck and working my way with her bra. "Wait, slow down!"

"I'm going to combust if I don't have you right now." I say through kisses and licks and bites down her chest, tugging the strap of her bra down and pulling her hard nipple into my mouth – grunting when her body reacts and rolls against me.

"Okay" She moans, her hand in my hair and her hips pushing herself against me.

When I reach to unfasten my pants, Elena somehow manages to roll us over and honestly I'm pretty surprised, but distracted by her pressure against me and her tongue in my mouth. Its almost embarrassing to admit that when she reaches between her legs and finishes unbuttoning my jeans, her touch is so unexpected that I grunt through my teeth. She's kissing me and sucking my tongue and stroking me and it feels so good that its painful. I let her run her hand up and down me for as long as I can take – I am not going to waist this on a hand job – then grab her hips and sit up, holding her in my lap.

I need just a minute – I'm too close already, so I work at her neck with my teeth and my tongue, sucking her skin harder than usual and she's giving me that sexy, raspy moan that I like – but its when she starts talking that I think I may break.

"Do you want inside of me Stefan?" She asks as she rocks up against me.

"Yes." I think it's audible. Its more of a growl than anything, but I feel her smile when she kisses my neck – and I've rolled us back to me on top – kicking of my jeans and boxers, quickly stripping off her panties

I kiss her stomach, run my hands over her smooth warm skin, graze my teeth over her nipples as I suck them into my mouth and that moaning is getting loud and so fucking sexy that I cant wait any longer. When I grab her thigh, pulling her leg up around my waist and I can feel how wet she is against me, she whispers, "Stop."

I almost curse.

I know I'm a bastard, but seriously… I hope I don't look at her with as much aggravation as I feel.

She's breathing hard and her lips have that redness to them and her eyes are so bright and wicked – I lose all my frustration when she says in a breathless voice, "I want on top."

Fine. Yes. Okay. That sounds amazing!

My hand finds the small of her back and in a quick fluid motion, I push her body against mine and I'm against the cold floor and her wet, slick, warmth slides down me in a slow, cautious way. The lower she gets the further in I am and the higher-pitched her wimpers are – her nails cutting into my chest as she braces herself against me.

"Fuck." It just comes out of my mouth. She's so wet and tight and when she rocks back her body sucks onto me and I just can't hold it in.

Seeing her body like this, her perfectly curved, soft, sensual body rocking back and forth, back and forth, and feeling her muscles squeezing down on me… its just too much.

"Stefan." Then she starts calling my name and moving faster and my hands are holding those perfect hips of hers. "You feel so good in me, Stefan."

I feel everything – her body, her wet, tight, heat, her hands on my chest, her flesh between my fingers, but I have to tell you her voice is pushing me over the edge.

"Elena." I roll my head back against the floor, bite my lip, forcing myself to hold on as I feel her getting tighter and tighter. "Elena, wait."

Leaning against me, she's rolling her hips and I'm thrusting to meet her and now she moaning right into my ear telling me I'm so deep inside of her and that she loves me and she wants me and just as I feel her body really beginning to clinch down, she gives a whispered cry, "I want.. you. Stefan, please. Please cum inside of me."

And I can't handle it any more.

I'm stronger and I'm bigger and I hate how hard she hits the floor but she doesn't seem to be bothered by it at all – her little giggle might even mean she liked being handled a little rougher than usual – but now I'm on top and she's got her legs wrapped around me and one hand on my chest and the other caressing her breasts and I don't know if I've ever fucked her this hard.

I'm watching her face and listening to her voice and feeling her wrapped around me – I love this woman to no end

"Fuck me, Stefan, please yes!" When she peaks its like her muscles are sucking it out of me and I unload. Weeks and weeks worth of want for her and unbelievable pressure finally released and I don't realize til later that I grunt and groan and moan out her name as I finish.

And it doesn't stop. I lay over on my back – spent.

Worn to the core, but I'm so lost in the after-sex haze that I don't even realize whats happening until I feel her mouth sucking me.

I slip my hand into her hair and close my eyes, feel the pressure building back up and my eyes rolling back and my muscles getting tense again.

Slurping when she removes me from her mouth, I laugh when she says, "Again… but on the bed."

I don't know if I should blame the Gin or the mind-blowing orgasm I just experienced, but I barely have enough balance to stand up, wobbling a bit as I follow her to the bed.

I freeze in place – rigid from head to toe, burning for her all over again, when she climbs onto all fours, tosses her long, silky hair over to one shoulder and looks back at me with that smile… "You're gonna be the death of me, Elena."

I haven't opened my eyes yet, but I already feel strange. Maybe I'm dehydrated after working all day yesterday and then the marathon with Elena last night… but something feels odd.

Rolling over to hold her, I wrap my arm around my wife and pull her still naked body back against mine, kissing her shoulder as she adjusts in her sleep. As long as I've known Elena, she's been a late sleeper and to be honest, I'm fine with that – sometimes I like to lay here and hold her while she dreams. This particular morning, I consider going back to sleep as I'm still really tired, and I dunno, maybe I'm catching a cold or something.

When I check the clock, I figure I've got another half hour before Allie gets up and Grayson usually sleeps pretty late like Elena, so I push Elena's hair out of the way a bit and lay my head on my arm – deciding to take advantage of my extra bit of time.

With my eyes closed, I do my best to fall asleep but I just can't relax – I know my body pretty well and something is off and there's no way I can sleep feeling somewhat tense, or empty maybe. It's hard to explain. Anyway, since I know sleeping is not an option, I open my eyes and look at the hole in the wall.

It's been a few minutes and I've planned out how I'm going to fix the hole when Elena adjust again, stretching her arm above her head then laying half on her stomach, her face turned away from me.

My wife is incredibly beautiful – she's just stunning. I could look at her all day, even the back of her head. I have the sudden strong urge to kiss her back as it looks warm and soft in the easy morning sunlight, so I push her hair away and graze my lips against her skin…

There's a tangled up hair at the nape of her neck that is throwing of this beautiful image, as it's not laying flat and straight like the others, so I take it between my thumb and forefinger and pull it out, laying in the same swipe of hair with the others.

The instant I release it, it bounces back.

I give a half-chuckle, then try again, only this time I take a bigger amount of hair and pull the whole thing up and over…

Is that a tattoo? Just below her hair line on the back of her neck, I swear I saw…

Not really being very gentle, I grab the majority of her hair in my hand and pull it up and away from her back, revealing a blackish-green M with a pointy tail.

"Did you get a tattoo?" I ask in my normal tone of voice. A strange feeling smile on my face. "Elena?" I call her name to wake her up as inspect the strange tattoo. "Hey, wake up."

"Hmmm?" She groans, turning over to her back, her hair falling from my hand.

"Elena. Wake up."

"What?" She blinks a few times, but I realize why I feel strange… empty… the very second I look into Katherine's eyes.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	10. Chapter 10

**CHAPTER 10 – THE REAPING**

-Stefan-

She's giggling… my mind is going through everything that happened last night – what I did to her, what I let her do to me – when I believed that the woman I spent hours touching and kissing and making love to was my wife… and Katherine's giggling her victorious giggle.

"Mmm, Good morning." Katherine arches her back, stretching and smiling up at me, the sheets covering her body slipping down her unclothed skin as she moves. "I wasn't planning on staying the night," She adds, reaching to me and running her fingertips down my stomach. Her voice is playfully sweet, sickening, when she says. "But you wore me out! Now I remember why I couldn't leave you alone back in 1864."

I hear my teeth grinding. I hear the blood rushing through my veins. My ears pop from the pressure of my clenched jaw. I'm trying so hard to hold it in – this rage – but when my entire arm begins to tingle and the squeeze of my fist is shooting pain up my wrist, I know I can't stop it.

The wrapping of my fingers around her neck shocks her - caught off guard by my quick reaction. Katherine's sultry brown eyes are instantly wider and rounder and filled with fear, grasping at my forearm as I push her body into the mattress and squeeze her slender throat.

She's choking and scratching my skin, but I like it – I love it. Seeing her eyes filled with tears and so pressured from my grip that they're bulging from her face… I can't explain to you how amazing it feels.

As a matter of fact, I'm enjoying seeing her in pain so much that I move to my knees and add a second hand – squeezing so hard that my arms are flexed to the point that they're trembling. The satisfaction that flows through me increases tenfold when she tries to reach up to my face, but my arms are fully extended and longer than hers, so her hands just grasp at air as I feel a smile playing on my lips.

It's got to be a muscle memory, the strange desire to rip through her throat with my teeth – to taste her blood filling my mouth – but the want is so strong that my mouth is watering as I breathe through my clenched teeth and begin to sweat a bit from the force I'm using on her neck. Beginning to flail now, kicking her legs and twisting her body, Katherine's mouth is gaping wide and searching for oxygen. I watch her tongue convulsing in her open mouth for a moment, wish I could rip it from her body, but move my eyes back to hers before I decide giving it a try.

She manages to knee me in the stomach a few times, her thighs pushing against mine as she kicks, the heels of her feet making hard contact with my calves – but I don't feel it - I only hear that unique flesh against flesh sound and commit to strangling her. If I were paying more attention, I would have noticed one of her hands leaving my forearm… the crashing of the wooden picture frame stabbing into the skin just below my eye knocks me out of my reverie I'd found when killing Katherine and I grunt through my teeth when I fall to my forearms and wipe at the blood coming from my face.

Coughing, Katherine pushes me to my side and hits my ribs a few times with her small, insignificant fists before I grab her by her wrists and pin her back down on the bed.

"Stefan! Stop it!" She yells at me, struggling to move but she's just a girl and I'm a guy twice her size and much stronger – her attempts are futile. "You're hurting me!"

My face is so close to hers that I feel the air moving in and out of her mouth – she's breathing hard, large, short inhales that tell me I was seconds away from ending her before she hit me with the frame. My gums hurt –I can't explain to you why… but it's the same familiar ache I remember from my years as a vampire that is pulsating above my teeth when I say, "I'm hurting you? I'm going to fucking murder you, Katherine."

I don't know if it's the calmness of my voice or the vicious glare in my eyes, but the increase in her attempt to get away tells me that she knows I'm not bluffing – I'm not just angry, I'm finished with her. Let's be honest, I've wanted to kill Katherine ever since the memories of her compelling me to accept her back in 1864 found their way back into my mind – after I'd become a vampire from her blood and her deceiving and her malicious plans.

"And Elena!?" Her voice is so telling – high pitched and carrying that wavering sound that one gets when they're near tears - she's struggling to find a way out of this corner she's put herself in. Using my wife is a good tactic, but the instant I realized it was Katherine laying next to me I knew I'd lost Elena, so it's not going to work as it normally would. Her chest is heaving as she finally stops with the squirming, hoping she found a way to talk her way out, breathlessly asking, "How are you going to explain a dead body in her bed?"

"I'm not." I chuckle, sliding her wrists up above her head in order to hold them with one hand. "You think she's going to give a damn about you or what I do after she finds out about last night?"

"Stefan." Katherine turns to watch me grip her wrists, her eyes big and scared while I smile down at her. "Stefan, no one has to know. I wasn't going to tell anyone!"

My right hand begins to tingle again, ready to finish the job it had started – crushing her windpipe, ending her miserable, destructive life. My chest tightens, a sense of pleasure that only a monster like me can feel rolls through me when I see the bruises forming on her neck where my fingers had been.

"What about Allie?" I look back at Katherine's eyes – at first I'm just angry that she's spoken my daughter's name, but then I understand what she's trying… a new angle.

I sit back on my calves, releasing her…

XXXX

How could I have not known? Why didn't I notice that _feeling_ was gone? Missing!

Katherine is getting dressed, showering in our shower… and I'm in the kitchen, doing my best to make sense of these last few hours. Looking down at my hands, I consider blaming my lack of observation on the dried sheetrock still on my fingers and hands, now scratched and even bleeding in some places from Katherine's fight. Maybe it kept me from being able to feel that electricity that pulsates from Elena's skin when I touch her… I go through a handful of possibilities as I try to find an explanation, but I know better, it wasn't the sheetrock… I can't blame the fact that I was exhausted and drunk, desensitized by the gin and the anger. I just, I don't know, I just wasn't expecting this to even be a possibility. The timing was right… Damon and Katherine left hours earlier and Elena should've been home sometime in the night.

I can't shake the feeling that she's done something to Elena. My mind is filled with a million different scenarios, each worse the one before it, and I'm struggling to keep it together when Katherine saunters into the dining room wearing another set of Elena's clothes – other than the lack of our gravity, the only difference between her and my wife are the still damp curls hanging heavy down her back.

"I swear, Stefan," Straightening the white, sequenced tank top over the short black, cuffed shorts that belong to my wife but are on my _mistress'_body… I feel sick, truly like I may vomit as that word weaves its way through my mind. "Elena has the _worst _taste in clothes." In the kitchen now, she moves slowly around me leaning against the counter and drags her hand over my flexed back as she moves to the sink. "But I have to give her credit in her taste in men."

I turn to her, but just cannot bring myself to look at her face when I ask, "Where's Elena?" My voice is raw, my entire body hurts – a dull ache all the way through me.

Pausing, Katherine looks puzzled for a moment, then as if she's remembered an important piece of information, she raises her eyebrows and says in a cheerful tone, "Oh, that's right, I bet you're worried, huh? She's fine? Should be home by seven."

I wish I can tell you I feel relief - and I am relieved! God, you have no idea… but honestly, I'm so enamored with shame it's only the ache that I feel.

As if she belongs in my house, in my kitchen, she takes a glass from the cabinet and fills it with water from my sink and doesn't seem bothered in slightest when I ask, "Why are you doing this, Katherine?"

She takes a long sip of the water and I can sense her looking at me as I stare at an imaginary spot on the floor – I imagine she's probably smiling when she coos, "I told you, I always get what I want."

Of course. She always gets what she wants – always has, for over three hundred years. She got me and she got my brother and she destroyed our lives and probably countless others before us and a hundred after us and still, Katherine manages to always, without fail, come out on top. "And what about Damon?"

Ignoring my question, she sits the glass down and steps in front of me, ever so gently tracing my jawline with her fingers – I don't mean to, as I want to appear as if I'm not repulsed by all of this, like I'm not at my wits end – but I visibly cringe when she touches me.

"Oh come on now, Stefan." She frowns at me, looking up at me through her lashes – my eyes still down. "We both know that was amazing… you and I, we're perfectly matched for nights like that. We always have been. So don't act like you didn't enjoy it." I shake my head, swallow hard – stomach bile burning my throat. Seeming to get frustrated with me, Katherine steps back and puts her hands on her hips. "You know what, you should be thanking me."

At that, I look up at her. "Are you kidding me? You've ruined my life – again!"

"You wouldn't even have _this_ life it weren't for me! You would have never have even met Elena and you wouldn't have your pretty little house on your perfect beach." She's really getting aggravated now, her head bobbing from side to side as she half-way yells at me. "You'd never of met _E-ley-nah_. So you wouldn't have Allie and Grayson."

I stand straight, putting my weight on my feet and fisting my hands at my sides. "You want me to thank you for turning me into a monster? You want me to _thank you?" _A laugh escapes my mouth and I don't know if it's a sarcastic chuckle or if I'm actually about to lose my mind. "You come into my house and pretend to be my wife – you _trick _me into having sex with you, you've destroyed my marriage and I am supposed to _thank you!"_

Even with the bruises from my hands around her neck still fresh on her skin, Katherine is feeling indestructible now that she's found my weakness – my children – and she steps up to meet my stance, pressing her body against mine and running her lips up my neck with her hands low on my torso.

I feel her forming the words as she speaks in a slow, sensual whisper, "I won't tell anyone." Kissing my jawline, "It's our little secret."

That ache is starting to dull – quickly being replaced by a hot, tar-like darkness that I've managed to keep repressed for the last few years… but this woman, she has a way of provoking me, bringing out the darkest parts of myself that I try so hard to contain.

Shoving Katherine back a bit, I turn away from her in order to try and shove my rage back into my gut as it's beginning to weave into my muscles, attempting to take me over. My chest is heaving as I breathe in through my nose and grip the edge of the counter top.

Opening the refrigerator, Katherine moves a couple of things around as she looks for something to eat and begins to ramble, or brag maybe – I get the feeling that she's quite proud of herself for pulling this off. "I hope Allie didn't get into too much trouble about your phone. I mean, I knew you would blame her once I heard Elena giving her a bit of a work down about running off with your phone all the time, so as a little apology for the sure to come punishment, I gave her a pack of gum I'd bought on the way back to town." I have my head down and my eyes closed, literally seeing red, remembering how upset Allie was when I got onto her about it. I thought she was trying to avoid getting in trouble when she promised she didn't do it – I even put her in time out for lying. "Then Elena and her _poor me, I'm so fat_ issues." Katherine laughs as she drops a bagel into the toaster. "Really. The girl doesn't have an extra pound on her body! But it was so easy to press her about it. Can you believe she basically told me that the silk dress was your favorite?" Going through the pantry now, she's still talking and I'm just getting more and more tense by her invasion. "Though I have to give it to her, she stopped just short – but you know, I'm no idiot."

No, Katherine may be the most clever, back-stabbing, con-artist I have ever known. Since the day I met her, her mind has always been five-steps ahead of mine. Her thoughts must fly through the coils in her mind at a pace ten times quicker than anyone else.

"I'm thinking I'm going to have maybe an hour or so, but then Elena sends me a text message to give to you about staying in Bangkok for the night and I remember that she had no idea that Damon and I found a flight out!" She giggles and my knuckles crack from the pressure just about the time the toaster finishes. "So I start an argument with Damon and storm out like I'm known to do, change my clothes and make it over here just before the storm knocked out the electricity. I was going to leave and let you figure it out on your own… If I could've just resisted you and left after once, or twice even." Again, she giggles, "But what can I say. You've always been my best counterpart. So I indulge and nearly pass out afterwards and my damn Scorpio tattoo gives me away… Does that happen often?" I'm confused, I guess – did she say Scorpio? I don't know, but I don't realize she's asked me a question as I'm putting together all the information she's just given me. "Stefan?"

"What?" I ask, my jaw locked.

"I asked if the electricity goes out a lot here?"

In a matter of hours, Elena is going to pack up and take my children and leave me and Katherine is asking me about the condition of the electric grid in Thailand – I know it must seem insignificant to you, but it's the last I can take. Literally, I'm half a day away from losing everything and her indifferent attitude has just pushed me too far.

Now facing her, she's turned away, spreading peanut butter on the bagel when I say, "You need to go."

I see her shoulders slump a bit, dramatically releasing a sigh, "Stefan… look, I know your mad and I know you think I'm going to brag to Elena about it," Sitting the butter knife down, she turns to face me and bites into the bagel – chewing a moment then speaking with her mouth full. "I'm not." She chews and I stare at her and she looks back and me and I consider what she saying.

Katherine is probably lying, that's usually the safest thing to assume about anything she says, but it doesn't matter –I love Elena too much to deceive her. "I'm going to tell her."

Giving a huff before sipping the water again, she leans back against the counter across from me, crossing her legs at the ankle as if she has no plans on leaving. "You're morality is going to suffocate you, Stefan."

"You're suffocating me, Katherine. You. This. What you did." I shake my hands at her, consider putting my fingers back where those bruises are forming into a dull green. "You are killing me."

"I'm not telling Damon, you do what you want." Dropping the half-eaten bagel on the counter, she swipes her open hands together, dusting off the crumbs from her fingers or maybe telling me she's done with this. "But if Elena runs her little mouth and it gets back to him, I swear to God she'll regret it." I only kind of hear the easy threat as I'm playing through my mind how Elena is going to react… how it's almost certain she's going to go back to Virginia… to Damon, as Katherine moves past me. She's nearly by the isle I'm standing next when her slow, too confident voice flows into my ears, "I may not be a vampire but it doesn't take fangs to rip the breaks out of someone's car." And I lose it.

Before I can stop, before I can even consider NOT doing it, I feel her wet hair in the fist of my left hand and the cold steel of the carving knife in my right, slipping it from the wooden block as a throw her backwards. The sound of her body hitting the tile floor sets me on fire and I'm not sure, but I think I'm grinning as she tries to scurry away from me – one thing I'm certain of, Katherine is no longer smiling.

"Stefan. Stefan stop!" She's hurt, something is wrong with her leg as she's having trouble pulling herself off of the floor, her small arms having to handle the majority of her weight as she leans against the counter for support. I let her stand – if I'm going to kill her, I'm going to enjoy it and I like a little fight. "Stefan…" She's hurt pretty badly, not able to put any weight on her left leg as she scoots down the counter, those once-confident eyes searching for an escape. "Think of Allie!" I chuckle at the thought that the only way out is past me – and that is not going to happen. "You don't want to be this kind of a man, Stefan." She's trying so hard to play it cool, but her Elena-like lips are trembling and her Elena-like eyes are wide and round and she can't stop glancing at the knife in my hand.

I stay silent – I've never liked to talk when I'm feeling like this – alert to the quickened breathing and trembling nerves of my victim, somewhat anxious to get started, but pleased by the way it feels to be so close to attacking, all of those emotions wrapped in a thick, overwhelming rage. I'm going to lose Allie and Grayson and Elena. I'm going to lose this life I've made as Katherine has stolen away the man I'd become, the man I was proud to be… what's one more washing of blood on my hands now?

I wonder if she thinks she's got me muddled in my thoughts – I'm not, I'm more aware of how badly I want to feel this blade slip into her skin, through her organs. I want to touch her blood seeping out of her disgusting body. She's reading me wrong, my silence and the long stare into her eyes, and when Katherine tries her escape, bolting towards me to try and get by, I grab face hard and turn us both – her back against the wall and my body against hers.

I inhale.

My heartbeat slows.

My shoulder rolls back.

My bicep flexes and I shove the knife forward just as Katherine cries, "I'M OVULATING!" but I can't stop it, there's too much force and my arm is moving too quickly even as I register what she's telling me – in a split second I've gone from wanting nothing more than to watch her bleed out on the floor to being terrified by how badly I'm about to hurt her.

The pain flows into her face first – the scrunching of her eyes and the pulling back of her lips, a deep grimace as I feel her skin giving to the blade, splitting open.

She's breathing hard and trembling and tears are streaking her makeup down her cheeks and I am hysterical, too scared to look down at the wound. I was going for her stomach – I didn't one this one wound to kill her. I wanted to prolong it a bit – but I did what I could to miss her all together, flinching my wrist and pulling my elbow. It was a long shot, I knew, and there's no mistaking the unique feeling of blade into body… I just don't know how bad it is.

"Oh my God." Katherine swallows, I feel it against my palm as my left hand is still holding her against the wall. Her voice is strained and she's crying and out of breath, gasping and speaking in a choppy tone, "Oh God! Stefan… you missed me. You missed."

It can't be. I wish that were the case, but I know I got her.

Finally, I move back cautiously as I'm scared to move the knife even the slightest, and I immediately spot blood on Elena's white shirt.

Just a small, dime-sized bit of blood on my wife's cloud-white top.

Releasing my grip on both the knife and Katherine's jaw, I'm pulling up the fabric as the metal clanks loudly against the tile, my eyes searching for a stab wound as Katherine nearly collapses to the floor.

Just below her ribs, on the very furthest part of her stomach, is a slight, straight cut that's bleeding no more than a scratch.

Pulled out of my dark, rage-induced haze and back to this new reality where I've had sex with an ovulating Katherine, I'm truly lost – backing up, fisting my hands in my hair, looking at Katherine sliding down the wall as she holds her small cut in her hand and cries like I've never seen her cry before.

"You were going to do it." She sobs – this woman that I hate. The very woman that may be carrying my child. "You were going to kill me, Stefan."

Yes. I was. Without a doubt. I cannot deny it. I was going to finally give Katherine what she deserves.

What do I say? She's crying so hard and I'm delirious. All I can think of is Elena – the way she's going to look at me when I tell her what I've done. I close my eyes to try and get myself together, but etched in the back of my eyelids is Elena's face and my gut tightens with fear and guilt to the point that I bend at the waste and nearly throw up.

"I just wanted a baby, Stefan. I just want a family. I want to give Damon a child." Katherine is still crying and talking at a rattling pace and I dry heave at the word 'baby'. "I want us to have a family." She's crying so hard that when she inhales it's broken into shivering pieces. "So I've been sleeping with Jeremy for past few months because the baby would look like me atleast…" I'm on all fours now – sweating. "Then we got here and I saw Allie and she looks so much like you're mother –" I don't know if it's the mentioning of my perfect daughter that I'm hours away from losing or my mother who would be so incredibly ashamed of the man I've turned out to be that brings tears to my squeezed-shut eyes. "And I thought, Stefan. I can sleep with Stefan and I can have a baby that looks like a Salvatore and Damon will never know. He'll never know it's not his. He'd be so happy, Stefan. I love him and he deserves to be happy… I can give Damon a Salvatore baby and we can finally be okay."

-Elena-

Grayson is asleep in his carseat, so after putting him in his room to finish up his afternoon nap, I come back into the repaired and once again perfect living room and wonder where in the world Allie and Stefan are. His truck was in the garage and there is something in the oven, so I'm sure they haven't gone too far when I hear Allie's laugh from the deck.

"That's silly, Daddy!" She giggles as I walk quietly to the door and spot him laid back on one of the loungers, his hands behind his head with Allie sitting cross-legged on his stomach holding a book in her hands.

"It's true, I swear it." Stefan says, turning to look at me just about the time that frequency swirls around me in the same way a warm breeze slips around your skin. I always forget how wonderful this feeling is until I've spent some time away from it, away from him, from our gravity.

I smile when his eyes find mine, Allie releasing a squealed "Mommy!" as she climbs off of him and starts towards me in a run, but my smile seems to bother him – and instead of returning a smile to me, Stefan turns his head away and rubs both of his hands on his face, laying his head back against the chair. Still angry with me I guess…

Allie leads me into the kitchen and tells me all about her day fixing the house with Stefan, "We bought a saw and wood and shindels to put on the roof." I'm listening to my daughters sweet little voice and pouring a cup of coffee and wondering about Stefan, correcting her without thinking about it.

"Shingles."

But she doesn't miss a beat, "Daddy says we're going to move back to Virginia and live next to Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Jeremy and Sir Damon and that I'll get to go to school where Aunt Bonnie works and that Sir Damon will take me out to lunch." Her voice falls when she asks, "Do you think Aunt Katherine will come too?"

I laugh despite the fact that I kind of like Katherine – I get her, ya know… she's just trying to be a regular girl after having her life taken from her hundreds of years ago. In a way, I totally understand that.

-Stefan-

I spent as much of the evening outside or busy or playing with Grayson and Allie or doing anything other than being alone with Elena. I just. I can't.

I know what Katherine wants me to do, but I will not lie to Elena. I even left that satin dress on the floor of our bedroom and the bed unmade because I can't stand the thought of it looking like I'm trying to cover something up.

She's asked me a few times if I'm feeling well – I either nod or shrug or give a one word answer. I can't talk to her… until I can tell her what I've done I can't. I feel like my confession is stuck in my throat and seconds away from spilling out of my mouth and every time I have to speak I'm terrified it's going to force its way out.

Before she got home I put up the For Sale signs I bought at the hardware store yesterday. There's no need for us to talk about it any further, I know what she wants and she's right, Allie and Grayson need to be near their extended family – this place has been another dimension to me. A place that I could ignore the darkness inside of me and the painful memories that lay waiting for us in Mystic Falls, but even before Katherine destroyed this place I was ready to give it up for Elena.

I've just finished telling Allie goodnight – tonight will be my last night with them, I'm sure of it, so I spent as much time with her and Grayson as I could, imprinting their every expression, every sound into my mind - when I hear music softly playing from the master bedroom and I get sick with the thought that Elena may be laying on the bed, with those sheets…

I come into the room in a half run and release a heavy sigh when I hear the shower start. The covers haven't moved, but her dress is laying on the foot of the bed and my eyes burn with the threat of tears as I come to the realization that I'm going to lose her. In a few moments, she's going to come into this bedroom that we've shared for more than two years and I'm going to tell her the only thing I know she can't forgive me for and I'm going to lose Elena.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11 – THE REAPING

-Elena-

Something feels strange in this house.

It's hard to put my finger on it really, even more difficult to try and explain, but with Stefan being so distant with me since I got home and this oddness making me feel on edge, I almost gave up on my _Sorry I'm such an insecure B* sometimes_ plan.

I was dedicated – I was going to push through with it because I know Stefan… just ignore the smile on my face when I think of the fact that it doesn't take much on my part to move him from terribly angry to kissing and holding me, but after carefully shaving my legs and applying the Ralph Lauren Romance lotion that he loves, flat-brush drying my hair, and applying just the slightest bit of mascara, I opened the bathroom door to find him sitting in the leather arm chair by the window with his head down.

Wearing the softest, sheerest, off-white Le Peril lingerie that I've ever purchased -with navy blue lace in just the right places to keep me from basically being naked - I was playing it cool as I came out of the bathroom and gave my best _I'm confident _walk to the closet to put my satin dress that Allie must have gotten down and Stefan doesn't even look up.

A little frustrated, a little fuming, I stayed in the closet for a long moment before deciding to come into the kitchen and regroup.

It's more than just Stefan deciding to hold onto his frustration with me longer than he usually would – I mean, I did leave town for more than a full day without even telling him bye – but it's something else... maybe going from a much-too-full house to back to us is what's making everything seem odd.

He's got a scratch on his face and his arms look like he had a difficult time with the repairs, but I get the sense that he was pretty angry with me skipping out when I spot the picture frame that held Allie & Grayson's photo from the Cherry Blossom festival in pieces in the kitchen trash can. He can get a bit of a temper sometimes... many'a cell phones have seen their last moments in the strong hands of Stefan Salvatore. Ha!

Damon has called a few times, but I can't talk to him – I won't. Bonnie and Jeremy are still in the air, I imagine, but Caroline called to let us know that she and Klaus made it home safely. A sign that Stefan's pretty pissed off – she asked so speak with him and he just shook his head at me and went into the garage. I can't think of a single time in the past two years where he's not spoke with Caroline when she's called. He's been like that all day – one word answers or nodding his head instead of speaking, staying busy as to keep some distance between us - so I know I've got some work to do.

After drinking a glass of water and daydreaming for a bit about his wonderful, talented hands, I've recommitted myself to the plan – after all, I am the one who lost my cool and _I'm_ the one who disappeared for an overnight trip – so I start out to the laundry room to get the silly gift I had made for him when I notice a gash in the wall to the right of the refrigerator. It's not huge, maybe an inch wide and thin, but sure enough… there's yet another hole in the wall and I'm reminded of Caroline's cut on her face and Klaus' blow up.

I never would have thought it possible, but in just three days our dream home was nearly destroyed.

-Damon-

It's more of a sigh tied with a whine when I say into the receiver, "Would you just call me back, Katherine? I'm not going to keep up with this, so call me, okay?"

God, I sound like such a pussy-whipped bitch, don't I? I've been calling Katherine to apologize for an argument that I can't even remember what it was about. And I've been calling Elena to apologize for something I did like ten years ago and can't really remember why I did it at all.

Stefan seems to think Elena will come around, but who gets over knowing someone left their parents to die? I guess if there is anyone who could possibly be good enough to do something like that, it would be Elena.

She's not really my problem right now though – by now, I'm sure she and Stefan are back to living their lives while I'm stuck in this rat-hole hotel. Katherine just kept dragging her fucking feet yesterday – I think we stopped for the restroom maybe seven times in a ninety minute trip. When we missed our flight, yea I was pretty pissed – maybe I laid into her about it a bit hard, but she and I have gone rounds against each other much worse and that lasted much longer and she didn't storm off for going on twelve hours!

I'm actually just about to hit the 'dial' button on my phone to call the lobby and find out how to contact the local police when I hear the hotel key slip into the lock. In a split second, now that I know she's okay, I go from nervously shaking my leg and tapping my thumb against the bedside table to cold as stone.

Katherine walks in without even looking at me, her hair all around her face blocking my view as she walks directly into the bathroom.

It pisses me off even worse – coming in here like she doesn't owe me any kind of an apology at all after leaving me stranded in this piece of shit town in this piece of shit country and she just walks in and goes to take a shower. Fuck no.

I'm going to confront her about it! I'm up and at the bathroom door in less than a second, but when I go to pull it open, the fucking thing is locked.

"Open the door, Katherine." I groan, pounding my fist on it a few times.

I hear the shower curtain move on the metal rod, then her annoyed tone, "I'll be out in a minute, Damon!"

"Where were you!?" I sound more worried than I'd hoped, but figure the noise of the water and the door separating us probably helped cover my concern. Katherine and I aren't the kind of couple that gets worried about one another or does a lot of public affection… hell, if you didn't know that she and I were together, we'd probably look like a couple of pissed off people that just happen to be sitting at the same table or watching the same movie.

After a long, drawn out, dramatic sigh, she gives her best _leave me the fuck alone_ voice when she says in a sarcastic coo – "I said, I'll be out in a minute darling!"

_Thirty_ _minutes_ later, I'm sitting on the edge of the bed and facing away from the bathroom, seething and ready to fight with her when I hear the door open - seconds later I feel her hands sliding down my chest and her breasts pressing against my back and her lips against my neck. "I like it when you worry about me." She teases me and as much as I want to be pissed, I'm weak against her.

Really, I'd half expected her to call me and tell me she'd kidnapped Allie and G' and we were going to run away with them – so her showing up half a day later and spending a long while in the shower isn't that bad…

I turn to meet her lips with mine, kiss her once, twice, then pull away.

"I wasn't worried." I lie.

Katherine inspects my face for a moment, giving me that beautiful smile that tells me she knows I'm full of shit, then kisses me again before saying right against my lips, "I'm ovulating for a few more hours." In the same way someone might say something naughty or perfectly indecent.

The sexiest woman in the world – literally the most alluring girl I've ever met and this is what she and I have become… I guess I shouldn't have been too worried. She's ovulating. Of course she'd be back before we missed yet another chance to have some disconnected sex and fail at conceiving.

Still, I don't balk and before she has a chance to change her mind, I lay back and she – completely naked, mind you… the same goddess body that I spent a century craving – climbs over me, flinging her long, wet hair to the side as she leans over to kiss me again.

At first I think it's a shadow, this strange color on her neck – blotchy and a deep shade of purple and red. My hands grab her face too hard and too quickly and she winces from my touch.

"What the fuck, Katherine?" I ask, turning her head to the side as I examine the bruises. I feel an overwhelming rush of adrenaline go through me; anger and rage – a impulse to destroy something, anything, whatever did this to her.

"It's nothing." She sighs first, but I turn her head to the other side and I swear to God I see the shape of hand in the welts. I'm burning, furious, but Katherine jerks her head away from me and gives a much more stern, "It's nothing, Damon."

"Nothing!? It looks like someone fucking strangled you!" I sit up, forcing her to move back a bit, now on my lap and rolling her eyes at me like I'm an idiot.

"It's an allergic reaction."

"To someone's fucking hands around your throat?" I snap. Try as I might to look at her face, my eyes are unable to leave her neck – something about that purple-red rimmed in green is keeping me from being able to look away.

"I had some kind of mushroom soup for lunch and like two hours later, I look like this." Katherine drags her hair to one side, leaning her head back a bit so I can see better. "That's where I've been… at the emergency room."

I've strangled a few people in my life… Why would she lie? If someone really did try to hurt her, she'd tell me because she's vengeful and she knows I'd kill them or die trying… still, those bruises… it's just too familiar.

"Damon, come on." Taking my face in her hands, she gives me a deep, yet somehow still sexy frown, "We've only got a few more hours to try and make this month _the_ month."

I guess I feel sorry for her looking like she's been nearly killed, so I don't let my thoughts escape my mouth like I normally would – I can't help but think how useless this is, our _trying. _But Katherine looks hopeful and, honestly, I wouldn't turn her down for any reason. Like she sees me give in, Katherine smiles and kisses me once, sweetly, before kissing me again and we give this month a good ol' useless fucking try.

-Elena-

"I got you something." I say through a nervous smile – even the frequency we share feels dreary as I walk back into the bedroom and find him now standing with his arms crossed, leaning against the door frame that leads out to the deck.

The breeze brings that unique Stefan scent to me as I breathe… calming me a bit.

Stefan doesn't turn to face me, but I see his back expand with a heavy inhale and I imagine he must be giving a sigh at my feeble attempt at making things right. Still, I unfold the light blue 'Virginia is for Lovers' tee shirt – a pun on both where we met and where we're moving – and say, "It's kind of cheesy, but if anyone can make this shirt look hot, it's my husband."

I hold it up for what seems like a good half of a minute while he stares out to the ocean and I stare at the back of his head. Finally, I huff and wad the shirt up a bit. I say his name through a frown and it comes out even whinier than I'd hoped. To try and off-set my tone, I say in a half-beg, "Please, I don't want you to be mad at me."

Turning his head towards me first, his body slowly following, I get my first good look at his face since I got out of the shower and I know something is terribly wrong. Without looking up at me, his eyes somewhere near my feet, he presses his lips together tightly, swallows hard – I notice his lips tremble a bit when he opens his mouth to speak.

"Elena…" My name nearly gets stuck in his throat and my knees feel like they're about to give. This Stefan is the most terrifying of them all – I've seen him at his darkest, lost in a haze of blood. But even then he was strong and controlled and solid. I have a sudden fear that my world is about to crumble just by how his brow is furrowed up and those perfect lips on his face shine a bright red from the way he bites at them when he's upset. I go through a quick inventory in my mind – like lightening I check off all of my loved ones whereabouts, starting with Allie and Grayson and ending with Pepper, Robert, and Jennifer.

I want to ask him _what_? I want him to stop looking like that and uncross his arms and wipe the wetness from his beautiful green eyes and I want him to come and pull me against his body – where I'm safe – I want to ask him _what is the matter_, but all I can manage is a nearly silent, "Stefan?"

If I had the ability to break out of this paralysis I'm in I'd go to him and I'd hold his face and pull his bottom lip from his teeth. I'd kiss his mouth and hold him until his chin stopped that barely-there shaking – but I can't move… I'm barely breathing at all when Stefan's dark, shining-wet eyes finally find mine.

I think, this must be what he looked like as a child, just a boy, frightened and shamed when he says, "You're going to leave me."

No. Nothing could make me leave you, Stefan. I love you.

That's what I want to come out of my mouth… my half open, dry-throat mouth. But there's no sound escaping my lips because I'm not breathing and I know he's not finished.

"Katherine," Clenching his jaw, Stefan rubs his forehead roughly with his hand, runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head, "She was… I." I watch my good, moral, unbreakable husband tighten his arms over his chest like he does when he feels vulnerable… or guilty. I see heavy tears fall from his jawline and fade into his light brown shirt.

"You what, Stefan?" My voice comes loud from my throat and I feel my hands begin to shake with a strange mixture of fear and anger. The longer he stands there shaking his head the worse it gets and before I know it I've crossed the distance between us and I feel my hands pushing at him. I push him so hard, it feels like I've used every ounce of strength in my body but he only takes a step back onto the deck and steadies himself. I think I hear him apologizing to me in this long run-on sentence as he cries – _Elena, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. I'm sorry, please Elena _–but I'm confused and don't know what he's talking about or I know and just need to hear it from his mouth that has never lied to me. "What! What did you do, Stefan!" I growl through gritted teeth as salty tears roll over my shaking lips and into my mouth. "What did you do!?"

"I-" He starts to speak again, but I need to see his eyes.

Interrupting him, I'm still nearly yelling, "Look at me!"

My beautiful Stefan, with his Roman face and honest, emerald eyes looks right into my narrowed brown, that voice that I've loved since I was just a teenager – from the moment it floated into my ears sounds deeper and rougher and more raw that I can ever remember as he destroys us. "I slept with Katherine."

I hit him. I hit him right in the face with my open hand against his tear-stained skin… so hard that my hand stings like it's on fire and the sound echoes off of the opened windows and Stefan stands there with tears running down his face and absorbs it like I'm nothing… I am nothing.

So many questions and curse words and insults crowd from my mind into my throat and I feel like I'm chocking on them – stepping away from him until I feel the rail of the deck against my back and the further away I get the more my husband looks like a stranger.

Ok, so I've been insecure and _scared _that Stefan would grow tired of my average body and my average looks and my average intelligence and my average everything, but did I _really_ think that Stefan Salvatore would ever cheat? _On anyone_? No. He's the most moral man I've ever known – that's ever been. No. No. No. "No."

"Elena, I'm so sorry. I don't know how it happened." Again, I cut him off. I can't stand the sound of his voice that I once believed was the only truthful thing in the world.

"Shut up." I'm trying to sound tough, but I'm sobbing and the words are just a hissed whisper.

Biting at his lips, Stefan does as he always has and listens to my words like their biblical – "How could you?" I start crying harder and my voice is quivering and I swear I wish I could fall into that ocean behind me and drown. "How could you do this to us?"

I close my eyes to try and get myself together but I'm flooded with images of Katherine and Stefan – Stefan's hands on her body and her mouth on his mouth and her lips saying his name and his tongue licking her neck and her legs around his body and his chest against her chest and his eyes looking into her eyes and I'm so dizzy and nauseated that I feel myself nearly fall down. I open my eyes to find Stefan moving to help steady me and it angers me even more – this stranger that looks so much like the man I've loved through _everything_ and who's loved me like I never knew was even possible and I want to hurt him. I want to hurt this man and I want to scream at him and I guess I've lost all self-control because I slap him once and then hit his chest with the other hand and before I know it I'm hitting and punching and slapping and again he's absorbing it and I'm screaming at him and then I'm so tired that I fall to my knees and cry into my hands at the feet of this repulsive man that I love so badly it's physically painful as it's ripped away from me.

"Elena, I'm so-" I feel his hand touch my back and our frequency flow through me and I hate him for what he's done to us and to our family and I hate this Goddamn gravity for invading me right now.

Moving away from him, I slap his arm away from me and look right up into his face as I scream at him, "Get away from me! Don't touch me!"

Stefan looks shocked or scared, maybe, I'm not sure as I don't know him anymore and honestly I don't _want_ to care about how he feels as I watch him back away from me. I keep my eyes on him until he's a good fifteen feet away, heading down the stairs of the dock. I hear him when he apologizes again, tells me he's _sorry _and he _doesn't know how it happened, _but I just want him to leave me alone so I don't respond and the moment he's far enough away for that damn gravity to ease off of me I fold over onto my knees and cry into my hands like a child… loud sobs, mourning my perfect family and my perfect marriage and grieving for the love of my life.

I can't tell you how long I spend like that – Mentally suspended in this web of clarity and confusion, on my knees, gently swaying back and forth as the breeze cut through my thin cotton gown and the temperature fell as the night passed. I _almost_ believed that I was _almost_ enough for him. Such a fool… so stupid of me to believe that just a girl from Virginia would be able to hold his attention for a lifetime. So stupid of me to believe that his love for me isn't intertwined with his love for Katherine…

At some point I stopped crying – out of tears, I guess – and I just sat there missing the Stefan that I knew before I left for Bangkok. I want that Stefan to come and rescue me from this nightmare… I want my Stefan who would never hurt me and who had given his life for me on more than one occasion, the Stefan that whispered lyrics into my ear as he held me in the dark and the Stefan that I could feel looking at me from across a crowded room like I was the most stunning woman he'd ever laid eyes on.

I miss him, and I miss my mom, and I need someone to talk to but already know what Bonnie would say if I called her… egging me on to leave him, pack up and come back to Mystic Falls. It's what I should do, right? It's what any woman with even an ounce of self-respect would do… right? Just the thought makes me tremble… like someone is threatening to pull my soul from my body.

And I know what I'd get from Caroline… biased as she is.

So when I go into the kitchen and grab my phone, I stare at it for a long while as I try my best to get my thoughts in line, then call the only person I know I can trust to listen to me without judgment or advice.

The phone begins to ring and I don't bother with finding an actual seat, sliding down the wall and collapsing right in the cold tiled floor when she answers – her voice is light and confident, warm like a blanket to my very shaken nerves.

"Pepper?" I sniffle – trying my best to not sound like I've just lost my… ? My… my everything.

Her laugh is wonderful and it makes me smile, but that tiny bit of emotion escaping opens me up again and I'm crying before I can even attempt holding it back.

-Stefan-

I wish I could disappear – vanish into thin air – burn in this fire.

I wish I wouldn't have drank that gin.

I wish I wouldn't have let Elena pretend to sleep instead of going through the motions of the ridiculous argument we had the night before she left to take Bonnie and Jeremy to the airport.

I've been sitting out here for God knows how long - regretting so many choices I've made. I built a fire because I can't imagine Elena letting me back in the house and it's getting cooler with each passing hour. I've gone through six pieces of wood and lost my sense of time, regretting everything from agreeing to have that 'reunion' of Elena's friends, to the very first time I left Elena… just a couple weeks after we'd met when I was trying to keep from turning this sweet, innocent, beautiful girl into nothing more than rubble in the destruction that followed me… follows me.

I kept it away from her, for the most part, for eight years… I managed my blood lust, my anger, fought to my death for her, loved her for years even when I'd been compelled away from her… and one night, with one mistake, all of that is worthless.

I can't get her face out of my head – the way she looked at me, just pure betrayal. How many times have I swore to her that I'd never hurt her? How many times have I lied? All this time I'm thinking I'm some good guy just with a bad string of luck and dark aggression, when the truth is I'm sickening. I'm disgusting. I'm vile… I cheated on my wife.

I'd decided before Katherine even left that I was not going to try and swing this in my preference – I had sex with Katherine. _I_ made the mistake of letting my guard down. _I_ didn't pay enough attention to what _I_ was doing to miss the lack of that feeling I share with Elena… so I was not going to try and make this seem like less of a crime by starting with _I thought it was you._ I did. I swear on my life I thought she was Elena, but looking back at it now, I should've picked up on the fifty+ signs that could've clued me in to the ruse.

I just… I wanted it to be Elena. I wanted her to come home. I wanted her to be standing in the doorway. I wanted Elena to forgive me for my pause with Katherine and I wanted her to let that stupid argument go. Honestly, it's churning my stomach to think of what I missed – the aggression from Katherine, the way she moved, the way she kissed. What's worse, the longer I spend thinking about it the worse I feel because I was enjoying it… a lot.

Trying to get her out of my head, I lay back on the lounger and press my palms into my eyes until it's painful enough to clear my brain – holding the pressure for a long moment, letting this loathsome feeling really settle into my bones before I move my hands and I'm hit with that chest pressure push/pull.

I don't dare move. I know she hates me. But I love Elena and even with the fact that she's no longer mine running through me like poison, I'm so happy to _feel _her.

The fire light catches her skin and she's just, she's so stunningly beautiful – moving past me without looking at me and sitting in the lounger to my left. She's wrapped up in a blanket and sitting near the fire but still, she shivers.

It's the wrong time, I know, but I love her.

I watch her for a long while, caught up in the beauty of her hair gently moving with the wind and her red rimmed eyes still shining from the tears that wet her dark lashes. I should say something. I _want _to say something to make this right, to make it all go away… but there's nothing.

"I want to –" Swallowing hard, she adjusts inside of her blanket and sits Grayson's monitor in the sand beside her feet, her dark eyes reflecting the fire and staying far away from me. "I need to know what happened."

I nod. I don't want to relive this – for so many reasons, reasons that I'm sure you can guess and reasons that I'm ashamed of – but I'll do anything for her no matter the cost to me.

Elena pauses for a moment, then speaks as if she's reading the questions from an invisible list – very removed from the words. "How many times?" As I register her question I can't help but dread how long the list might be.

I'm not going to lie to her. I'll tell her anything she wants to know, but I'm not sure how to answer this. When the words come to my mouth I feel like I'm going to vomit, "Just last night… I don't know how many times."

Like I've just told her the most sickening thing you can imagine, Elena's face turns sour and I see her eyes attempt to cut over to me before she catches them – that feeling we share is as cold as ice, sharp and intense as it presses against my muscles.

"Where?" Again, Elena sounds detached from the words coming out of her chapped lips.

I lower my head as I troll through the memories, so incredibly ashamed. "In our bedroom. On the floor, in the bed." Those images are coming back and making me feel a thousand different things and I hate myself for how Elena's eyes have slowly closed and tears trail across her slightly-pouting lips. "Elena…"

"Why, Stefan?" The anger that I heard in her voice while in the house is gone. When she turns to look at me, her wet cheeks and wet lips and wet eyes still so incredibly beautiful, I want to die for what I've done to her. "Why would you do this to me? To our family?" Her voice breaks into me, resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands, I have to cover my face while I cry – I don't want her to feel concern for me. Elena is the most warm and compassionate soul I have ever known and I do not deserve her kindness. "This is all we've ever dreamt of. Being together, having a family…" She's crying hard now and I'm aching to go to her, but I'm the culprit, I'm the cause of her tears. "Why?"

Gutted by the sight of her crying, "I love you." I open my mouth that's what comes out. "Elena, I love you so much." I think I hear her huff at my confession and I think I should just stay quiet, but I keep talking. Rambling, spilling out everything that happened in a mess of unstructured and unintentional sentences. "I should have known. I should have felt what was missing but there you were and wearing that dress and telling me you wanted to forget about our argument. And Elena, I was so tired and I was drunk and I missed you all day. I was mad at you and I missed you and I wanted you to come home…" Trying to stop myself, I rub my hands over my face roughly, inhale deeply in hopes that the small pause will shut me up, but the moment my lungs are full I start up again. "Then there you were. I should have felt the difference, I know. I know I should've _known_, Elena. I always know the difference between you and her, but the timing made sense and she knew about our argument and she was in your clothes and I just let myself believe it was you."

"What?"

"I know. Elena, God…" I'm filled with some sudden adrenaline rush, a seething mix of reality setting in and the heaviness of the truth, the darkest place I've ever been. The flood of emotion brings me to my feet and I start to pace without realizing it, talking with my hands and my entire body tensed, ready to run or ready to break – I don't know. Like it's always been with Elena, once I start talking, opening up, I can't stop – it flows out of me and there's nothing I can do to fight it. "You have no idea how I hate myself for what I've done. I should have known it wasn't you. I don't want to be this man… And now I've lost you, I've lost everything. I've hurt you and I've lost you and Elena… Elena, I am so, so sorry."

When I turn back, crossing my half circle path for the third, maybe fourth time, Elena is standing now, looking at me like I've just lied to her – wide eyes, furrowed brow. Of course she doesn't believe me – how could she?

"…You should have known it wasn't me…" Her voice is small, her lips moving just enough to form the words.

"I know! This," I gesture between us , our frequency, the gravity of her that I could never resist. "what we have… the moment I woke up- I mean, Elena I hadn't even opened my eyes and I knew something was wrong… I felt it, I felt it missing and I saw this curl in her hair and…" Somehow, I've let myself forget that I nearly killed Katherine – twice! "Elena, oh God, it get's worse…"

"She was in my dress?"

"I lost it. I lost it, Elena, and I grabbed her by her throat and I wanted to kill her. I wanted her to die…" I can't stop talking and I can't get enough air and there's Elena looking at me like she can actually see me falling into pieces at her feet – confessing to her the truth of who I am. Violent and dark and completely nothing without her. "…and I would have, I would have done it if she wouldn't have hit me. I knew I'd lost you and I wanted her to die for ending us!"

Growing angry at what I've done and the trick Katherine pulled and the reality of all of this my voice is getting rougher and my fists are hurting as I want to destroy something – but at least I've stopped crying. "Then she starting bragging. Bragging to me about toying with you and ruining my phone and she threatened you." I'm shaking I'm so angry – ten times as angry as when I woke up with Katherine in my bed and yet, I feel Elena's hands take hold of mine, my eyes finding hers as I say, "She threatened you and I just… I…I tried to stab her. I _did stab her!_ But right in the middle of me shoving the knife into her she tells me she might be pregnant so I stopped the best I could… I'd already cheated on you and I'd already nearly killed her, the least I could do is keep you from having to divorce a man who killed a pregnant woman… " Elena is shaking her head, her thumbs kneading into the tops of my hands. I look down at her hands holding my hands, then at her bottom lip captured between her teeth, finding those soft, endless eyes looking up at me like she's… happy? "What? What are you doing?' I ask, confused… the thought flies through my mind that this woman in front of me might be Katherine – with her half smile and that beautiful look in her eyes that does not fit this funeral of our relationship – but our gravity is huge like a wave, crashing down and overwhelming me, pulling me out of the haze of anger as Elena wraps her arms around me and turns her face into my neck, enveloping us in her blanket and the smell of her and the gravity.

"You thought she was me." She sighs right against my neck and my body reacts to her warm breath in that same sweet relief that her touch has always given me – clarity, release, contentment.

I know I shouldn't – of course I shouldn't touch her! – but my hands find her waist and I can't keep myself from pulling her against me, my fingers pressing against her skin and absorbing that electricity that I should've notice was missing when I touched Katherine.

-Elena-

The fire is nearly burned out, only a few flickering flames and the ember-orange glow of the remaining logs, but there is just enough light coming from it to reflect off of Stefan's golden wheat hair as my fingers trail through it rhythmically. My husband is beautiful when he sleeps... when Stefan's face is relaxed, his lips parted in this way, he's almost too beautiful for my heart to conceive. After talking through the entire situation, we found ourselves sitting next to the fire – his head laying low on my stomach and hand resting just inside of his button down shirt.

I can feel his heart beating against my fingertips, the warmth of his chest beneath my open hand. Stefan has been asleep for more than twenty minutes – I know by the gentle rhythm of his breath, shallow and slow like the efficient machine that is his body – but even in deep slumber he's holding tight to my hand as if he's afraid I won't be here when he wakes up. I told him over and over_ we're going to be okay, Stefan. I'm not leaving. I love you. It's not your fault._ But, if you know my husband in the slightest bit, then you know how he absorbs blame almost by default. I've done my best to convince him that he has nothing to apologize for, as well as convince myself that this is not going to haunt me for the rest of my life… knowing he was with her in the same way he is with me. Katherine experienced _my Stefan._

Don't get me wrong – I'm mad. I'm furious… I'm sickened by the thought of her touching him, of Katherine being in my bed and my husband making love to her, but how can I be mad at him? If it had been the other way around; me, somehow tricked into sleeping with… I guess, Damon is my equivalent of his Katherine – if the tables had been turned and it was me that was fooled into sleeping with someone else, it would be called rape. I'm not as noble as Stefan – if it were me in his shoes I'd be crying and upset, yes, but honestly, the thought of Stefan leaving me for it wouldn't have even crossed my mind. He'd be holding me and telling me I'd be okay and he'd help me through it… I'm too wracked by the very emotional night we've had to think too much about it, but the simple fact that Stefan truly thought I'd leave him tells me a great deal about how confident he is in my love for him.

I know he said that he didn't tell me that he thought Katherine was me when she showed up in my dress last night because he didn't want to try and 'avoid blame', but I wish he would have told me sooner atleast. _Avoid blame_ – that's what he said… I don't know what she's up to and I know Stefan is having a hard time agreeing that he's a victim in this situation too, but she has once again violated him for her own gain. Just the thought of the pain she's caused him makes my stomach ache with a hatred that I have _never_ felt before and I have to force myself to remain still as Stefan's head is in my lap and he needs rest. He needs to sleep. He needs to wake up in the morning and look at me and know that I meant what I said – I am not leaving him, I will never leave him.

I should have known better than to believe Stefan would cheat on me – just openly have a one night stand with her, or anyone for that matter. It was like coming up from drowning when I registered him saying he should have known it wasn't me, that she was in my dress, that he should have realized that our gravity was absent – and maybe he's right. Maybe he should have been paying more attention to those things, but why would he have been? We've spent the last two years without any guard up whatsoever… no threats in anyway. Being constantly on the defense is no longer our normal state. And on top of that, we've been living with our frequency for long that it's the gravity between us that has become normal – it's no longer shocking and sobering as it once had been. When being together was sparse and dangerous and never lasted for much longer than a night or two. Sometimes I forget that this feeling isn't commonplace because it's there when I wake up and it's there when I go to sleep and I feel Stefan every minute of every day… the thought makes me want to kiss his lips, perfectly shaped and rounded to fit against mine like a puzzle piece. Just hours ago, standing on the deck I'd seen the man that I know through and through fade away and turn into debris of what I believed he was. Then in just a few sentences, Stefan came back together. The man that loves me to no end, the man that can only sleep when he's touching me, the man that I've found looking at our children like any other man might look at diamonds or gold… My Stefan.

Can you imagine how differently this night might of turned out had I not called Pepper? I know she loves Stefan – of course she does, he saved her life when she was dying with cancer – but, in this entire world she's the closest thing that I have to a mother and the instant I started crying she acted the part with perfection.

I told her that he'd slept with Katherine – she knows all about their history, our history, everything. I told her that I wanted to leave, that I wanted to get away from him but I didn't know how or if I could even manage without him. I just wanted to go lay down in my bed and cry, but even my bed had been transformed into something disgusting. Pepper listened to me cry and complain and tell her that I wanted to run away… _Then do that. Go to bed. Sleep in the extra bedroom and stay in there all night long. But when the sun rises you get out of that bed and you put on your clothes and you stand up straight and you move on. You keep going, Elena. Deciding what you want to do about this tonight is a bad idea as no decisions made out of anger or hurt ever turn out the way you hope – so you wallow it in tonight but when morning comes, you've got to be a mother. You've got to keep Allie and Grayson from all of this the best that you can until you decide what you need to do._

Morning – just hours away, I couldn't imagine even looking at him as my mind was running wild with so many questions, and images of Stefan's body and her body and that voice in my head telling me that of course I wasn't enough for him – of course he wanted Katherine. _I can't, Pepper. I can't. I can't be in the same room with him knowing what I know._

_And what do you know, Elena?_ She asked. _From what you've told me, it sounds like you need to talk to him and get the full story. You're married, Elena – you have a family. Deciding to end a family is a much bigger decision than deciding to break up with your boyfriend._

So, that's why I came out to the fire with him… for Allie and Grayson. For my family.

Had I not called Pepper and had she not given me such perfect advice, I think I'd have packed up the kids and we'd be half way to Bangkok's Thai Airways International. I would have left him… I would have left my husband with a broken heart and more guilt than I think he could handle.

"Elena?" Stefan's voice breaks me out of my daze, my eyes unfocused but still on his beautiful Roman face lit by the glowing fire. Despite the disparaging thoughts running through my mind, I smile at the sound of his voice just barely louder that the water lapping against the sand. "I'm so sorry."

Grazing my fingertips through the short hair over his ears, I hope he feels the frequency between us – it's warm and smooth like silk, yet intense, strong against my chest. "I love you." I look directly into his beautiful eyes – even in the darkest hours of the night with a grey, cloudy sky, Stefan's eyes are so honest, so incredibly green. "Go back to sleep." Unable to stand looking into his eyes any longer – so telling of the shame he's feeling, replete with love for me – I lean over a bit and kiss his forehead, letting my lips linger against his smooth skin for a long moment, his hand finding the back of my head. When I open my mouth, I know I'm breaking our unspoken rule, but the words skip through my filter and they're slipping past my lips before I can object, "I promise, Stefan, everything is going to be okay."

***MORE TO COME ***

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	12. Chapter 12

**CHAPTER 12 – THE REAPING**

-Caroline-

God what a day! If there is anything I hate more than covering the traffic – hello, it's rush hour, there's traffic… shocker! – it's bad weather.

I mean, don't get me wrong, the news room is all excited and we get loads of free coffee and the deli downstairs keeps us supplied in the best double dark fudge brownies that you've ever tasted, but it's like my day doesn't end until the very last bit of rain falls in our coverage area!

Because of our vacation I've been behind most of the week so I'd been coming in a bit early as well as staying late to try and catch up, but it's going on 8:40pm and I've been here since five this morning… so, I'm freaking tired. I almost don't answer my phone, but decide it might be Klaus wondering if I'm ever coming home, or maybe Stefan as I've called him a few times this week with no answer. Its funny – Stefan and I were together nearly every day for four years, then totally separated for two, but leaving him was so hard… he's truly the brother I never had or even knew I needed.

The moment I see that it's my mom I feel relief – a smile coming to my mouth even though it's full to the brim with my third brownie. Shut up, I'm pregnant, remember?

"Hey mom!" I say through the bulk of dessert, licking a bit off of my thumb as I lean back in my desk chair and kick off my heels. Let me be the first to tell you, after fifteen hours, even Louboutin's make your feet feel like they are bleeding.

"Hey sweetie, I wasn't sure if you'd answer." By her tone of voice, I can tell she's still at the station – until the past couple of years, I'd never realized how similar my mother and I are with our work ethic. I used to resent her for it, but now that I've moved up to the morning anchor with only two years under my belt, I know how much I owe her for instilling such commitment in me. "I heard on the scanner that Dallas was having some inclimate weather. Tornado's?"

Ugh – I do not want to talk about this _more!_ I've heard that word – inclimate- more times in the last five hours than my entire life combined! "Yea, rain, wind, hail, lightening… the works."

"And everything's okay?" She says to me, then speaking away from the receiver, she rattles off a few commands to one of the deputies. I'm barely paying any attention until I hear her say _CCIR_.

I wait for her to finish, then quickly ask, "CCIR? The Cold Case place?" I worked with them for months last fall when they were going through all of the files at the Dallas Crime Lab – as a matter of fact, my 'in-depth' coverage is what helped land me the anchor job.

"Yes." Mom sighs, I can hear the fatigue in her voice and wonder how many hours she's put in today. I can almost guarantee you that _if_ I am beating her, it's not by much. "Believe it or not, Mystic Falls had a high murder rate back in the seventies. That was before the Mayor sent out the _call it an animal attack_ directive to the medical director and police force."

I know it's terrible – I mean, people died. Real people at the hands of vampires… my friends, my husband, me… but still, I can't help but laugh at my mom's sarcastic tone. I can almost bet you that she and Mrs. Lockwood have been at each others throats today.

I'm about to crack a joke about her and Lady Mayor, when mom adds in a quiet, frustrated tone, "I swear, if Carol doesn't get out of my office I am going to hand over my badge!"

"Mom, she's just trying to be helpful." I lie through a laugh. Everyone in town knows she's a control-freak.

"You'd think she'd want to be at home, with Tyler back in town," Don't ever tell anyone, but at the drop of his name my heart skips a beat and I don't know if I'm happy to hear that he's in town or just shocked to hear his name. "but no, she's been riffling around with the interns going through all that old evidence!"

"Tyler's home?" I try in a cool, _hey whatever_ voice that sounds more like a little girl asking if she's getting a pony for her birthday. "Um, so like, how is he… and stuff?" I roll my eyes as the teenager inside of me takes over my vocal chords.

She doesn't answer me right away – talking to a deputy or an intern or maybe even Mrs. Lockwood while I'm left to try and push away images of a very fit, very brown skinned, very _tasty_ Tyler Lockwood. Finally she comes back to the phone and I've opened up my email for no other reason than to distract my thoughts, "He's fine. Brought a girl home that Carol doesn't care for… but that's not surprising. Listen, I need to go – they need me to show them how to use our database and then I'm heading home. I'll call you sometime tomorrow. Ok?"

I'm a little disappointed about her getting off the phone without giving me more details about him and about Tyler bringing home a girl – What the hell is wrong with me? – but I have a few emails to check so I tell her I love her and we hang up. I open up Elena's email and shove a huge bite of brownie into my mouth at the same time.

To: Bonnie Gilbert, Jeremy Gilbert, Caroline Mikaelson, Pepper McAfee, Jennifer Cotton, Kennedy Dexter, Damon Salvatore  
From: Elena Salvatore  
Subject: News!

Hello all – hope you're doing well! I know some of you have called in the last couple of days, but Stefan and I have been a little preoccupied and haven't been able to work out a suitable time to give you guys a call back… time zones and all.  
Anyway, I just wanted to give you all a heads up! Stefan and I have decided to sell our place here in Thailand and move back home! *YAY* We really want Allie and Grayson to know you all like family and we put the house up for sale on Monday as we saw no need to wait. Three days later and we have a wonderful offer from a developer who's most likely going to demolish the house and build a resort, but the offer is too good to turn down! So, Stefan just left to go meet with him and work out the deal… after their last discussion, he got the feeling that they'd want us out ASAP, therefore I'm thinking that we should be back in the states –for good- by the end of the month… three weeks at the latest!  
We haven't quite decided if we're moving back to Mystic Falls or Wilmington, as we love both cities so very much and have loved ones in both locations, but in the meantime, we're hoping to rent an apartment in Mystic Falls long enough to make that decision and get all of our stuff shipped over from Thailand.  
I'll contact you all just as soon as I have a more definite timeline/plan – but wanted to say hello and share our very exciting news!

Allie is thrilled to be moving home – and honestly, so am I

Bon/Jer – give Lola & Liam kisses from us.  
Caroline – hope you're doing well and not working too hard during your first trimester!  
Damon – We know you're still traveling, but if you get a chance, call Stefan on his cell. He needs to speak with you.

Love you all!  
Elena, Stefan, Allie, & Grayson

Half way through that email I was so excited that I actually clapped! When I see the second email… I don't know how to explain how thrilled I am… overjoyed even, my cheeks hurt from the huge grin on my face.

To: Caroline Mikaelson  
From: Tyra Hilton - HR, Roanoke CBS  
Subject: Congratulations!

I don't even finish reading the body of the email before I've got my phone to my face and Klaus' wonderfully sexy accent floating into my ear.

He sounds sleepy, but a little horny at the same time, "Caroline, darling, tell me you're on your way home."

I'm too excited about the job and Stefan and Elena moving home to counter his flirty tone. Instead, I give a quiet squeal into the receiver as I try and _not_ tell the entire office that I'm leaving for Virginia. "OMG! I got the job, babe!"

-Stefan-

I sit outside in my SUV for a long while – maybe half an hour, maybe more – I'm not sure. I just want to imprint the frame of the building and the color of the siding into my mind, secure the memories of playing hide and go seek with Allie and teaching her how to make smores. Every inch of this place holds huge, life-altering memories for me. I know, I'm being dramatic again in your eyes… but for me, this house, this life, my wife and my children, this was all impossible three years ago.

The window into the guest bedroom was broken by some fireworks that Elena had shipped in from the US so we could celebrate July 4th. I remember Allie thinking sparklers were the most magnificent things she'd ever seen – her round, green eyes wide and full of that child-like amazement that one seems to lose when they grow up.

The coconut tree in the front yard… it was the first time Elena ever had a fresh coconut. We were up late, just lounging on the couch together after Allie had gone to bed and we'd both had kind of rough days, watching that Tom Hanks film where he gets stuck on an island and lives off of coconuts for a while. When Elena said she'd never had a fresh coconut, I laughed – I don't know why it was funny, maybe because I knew how horrible they taste. But before I knew it, I was climbing the tree at a little after eleven PM and retrieving a coconut for her… waiting on the ground for me with her sexy giggle and growing pregnant belly.

We've made love on the front porch. Yea. The front porch… the deck in the back. The kitchen, the bathrooms, the laundry room, the garage… everywhere. Pretty sure Grayson was conceived in the back of her Land Rover during a lightning storm last summer.

I guess I hadn't realized how much this house meant to me until I signed it away and promised to vacate by next weekend.

Twelve days.

I'm replaying the meeting with the developer and counting the American dollar zero's on the check when my phone rings through the Bluetooth – Caroline.

Only because I've been avoiding her and really, everyone since they left, I answer.

"Hey." Immediately, I feel guilty for talking to her.

I don't know how she's done it, but Elena says she's forgiven me for sleeping with Katherine. Even says she didn't blame me at all once she learned that Katherine pretended to be her… I don't know, it's just not sitting right.

She doesn't want to talk about it… but I hear the cold underlying tone of her voice when she mentions Caroline's calls.

"Ok. I'm driving in like pouring rain so I can't talk long but Oh My GOD Stefan this is the best news ever! I am, like, thrilled! You're moving back and we're moving to Roanoke and the whole gang is going to be back together!" Despite my downward spiraling mood, Caroline's high-pitched rattle of happiness makes me feel better.

I lay my head back on the headrest and close my eyes – I haven't been able to sleep well in the last few days. I _do not_ want to talk about why… "So you got the job? That's great!"

I hear her hearing me – that's an odd sentence… what I mean is, I can hear Caroline getting either concerned or annoyed by my less-than-thrilled tone of voice.

"What?" Caroline has a very honest voice. Whatever she's feeling she just lets out… no tact, no discretion whatsoever. That _what_ is not a question really – more of a command to tell her what's wrong.

I lie. Immediately. I don't even think about it. "I'm sick, I think." I give a fake cough for good measure. "I think Allie picked something up at school."

And just as quickly as I lied, Caroline calls me out on it. "Oh okay. So now tell me what's really wrong."

I can't.

I can't tell Caroline that I had sex with Katherine… no way. I'm thinking up another lie or maybe some sort of details of having a cold, but I've not been sick even once since I turned human again and to be frank, I don't really know what all goes on with a common cold… that cough was my best put on.

Thankfully, my phone beeps an alert that I have a second call and I use that to get off the phone with Caroline, though she makes me swear I'll call her later and tell her what's going on.

I won't. But I say _yea, ok, sure._ Then switch over to Damon.

"Hey."

"Hey." Pause. Pause. "It's Damon."

I huff, "Yea, I know."

More pause. Finally, after a long enough silence for me to begin to feel awkward about holding the line, he says, "Elena emailed and said I'm supposed to call you. We're about to board our flight home, but I thought I'd check in real quick."

I'm confused for the slightest second, just long enough for me to put the pieces in place and for Elena to step out onto the porch with Grayson on her hip and a strange smile on her face… a somewhat victorious-Katherine like smile.

Before I left for the developer's office we had a serious argument about this… telling Damon. I'm guessing this is her final ploy at getting me to fill him in on what happened.

"Oh, yea." I'm grasping for anything to say, then remember the money. "Did you get the money?"

Damon releases a loud sigh right into the speaker, "Yea, got it. Spent it. Great strippers in Tokyo." I laugh, Damon is just so Damon and it's nice to hear as Elena has been very not-Elena and I've been feeling like a damaged piece of myself. First Caroline being cheerful, bossy Caroline and now my brother being as I always remember him being… it's comforting. "Really, Stefan. First class."

I feel like I'm glaring at Elena, but she's still smiling at me as I speak to Damon and get out of the truck. "Just making sure customs didn't run off with it or something."

"Sure, Stefan. I'm an idiot and left a couple thousand dollars wrapped up in a crayoned paper for a poor customs agent to steal…" Damon says something to _her_, then adds, "Give me some credit, brother."

"This coming from a man who spent three grand on hookers in Tokyo?" I joke, coming up to Elena and kissing Grayson's soft, fat cheek, then moving to take Elena's free hand in mine- I'm not one hundred percent sure, but when she brings her hand up to slide her hair behind her ear, it almost seems like she is avoiding my attempted touch.

"Strippers, baby bro."

"Not a lot of difference, I'd imagine." Elena's brow furrows, realizing we're not talking about Katherine I assume.

"Tell you what, little brother," I can almost see Damon's eyebrows moving all over his forehead, eyes widening the way he does when he's feeling ultra-sharp. "Once you and the old ball-and-chain get back to Mystic Falls, I'll take you out and show you the difference."

I'm still scrutinizing the timing with her moving her hand and can't invest a lot of thought into a witty comeback to Damon's joking, "I'll have to pass."

"Suit yourself." He sighs, sounding as if he's stretching and I wonder if his shoulder is still bothering him… our weakened, human bodies are beginning to pay for the rough lives we led as vampires. Damon has shoulder problems, I'm got an issue with my wrist and if I don't run regularly, I start to feel like my muscles are freeze drying. "Look I've got to go. Boarding."

As per usual, Damon and I don't really say goodbye, and I slip my phone into my pocket without any kind of salute to him.

Elena is still frowning at me – almost disappointed that I didn't get stuck in a situation in which I had to tell him about Katherine.

I was going to… just like I knew I would tell Elena, I planned on telling Damon, too.

But then Katherine told me about them trying to conceive for more than two years… it took me nearly killing her, missing her organs by less than an quarter inch for Katherine to drop the act she's used as a wall for more than 300 years. When she finished uncontrollably bawling on the floor, I got her a bandage for the cut on her side and she finally told me everything. I don't care about her or how badly she wants to have a family, but I care about Damon.

I care about my relationship with my brother and I'm very aware of the inferior thoughts he has of himself. It probably started with my parents, but Katherine's turning us both… toying with us both, and then Elena a hundred and fifty years later, Damon has convinced himself that I'm somehow better, more deserving. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Damon wants a family… a family with Katherine, so the last thing I'm going to do is _yet again_ step in and appear as though I'm the better Salvatore.

Aggravated by her attempted manipulation, I try to sound as level toned as I can when I say, "I'm not telling him, Elena."

Like she's been planning this response, she says, "You know, you're a lot of things Stefan, but I never thought selfish was one of them."

_I'm a lot of things?_

I follow her into the kitchen, choosing my words carefully… I mean, I am the one who got us into this situation – I may be getting a little frustrated with her insistence on me telling Damon, but I have zero right to get angry with her.

She's walking fast – mad at me – and we're in the living room by the time I say, "You think I want to be this guy? Like I want to hide this from him? I _want to _ tell Damon. I want to tell him what happened… he deserves to know, Elena, I get that." She sits Grayson in his bouncy seat and I have to speak a bit louder over the sound the toy jumping up and down and his coos. "But I have to wait it out and see exactly what it is I'm confessing."

I just cannot fathom the idea that Katherine may be pregnant with my child… it seems so unbelievably unrealistic, but I know that it's possible. I have to wait it out, a couple of months atleast. Hopefully, they will pass uneventfully and she won't be pregnant and I'll tell Damon what happened… If she is pregnant, then I'll decide what I'm going to do then – but the thought of emasculating my own brother, after everything we've been through… I just, I don't know.

Elena pivots in place, facing me with her arms crossed and face straight –too straight, a sign that she's very angry. "You aren't _confessing_, Stefan. You're telling him what Katherine did!"

Í can't figure out why Elena isn't understanding me, so as much as I do not want to actually SAY it again, I do. "And if Katherine is pregnant?"

"Then she'll be a single mom!" Elena shrugs. "Millions of people do it! Matt and I did. Damon can have the baby on weekends. Or he should get full custody, seeing as how she's a psycho!"

"Elena, he's not going to want anything to do with her, or the baby, or me for that matter." I sit back against the couch, turning my stiff neck to the side – the loud pop in my ears is somehow rewarding.

"Why would the fact that you… and…" It's like watching a building implode. That slow, methodical breakdown from the inside out. I've told Elena atleast three times now – Katherine said was ovulating – and I thought it was odd that she didn't seem to be bothered by it while I've been a little nauseated since the second the words came from Katherine's mouth. Now that I see her putting it together, I get the sense that Elena just wasn't hearing it when I'd tell her before – maybe there was too much going on, or maybe she'd blocked it for her own sake, but there's no denying it now.

"If she's pregnant, I cannot steal that away from him." I feel like I've been punched in the gut when I reach out for Elena, a tear streaming down her cheek, and she moves away from me. "Not until I know for sure that's it's not mine."

"That's great." Elena gives a sad laugh, wiping the tears from below her eyes and moving past me. I follow her into the kitchen. "That's just… that's great. Really. Katherine may be pregnant with your child… that's. Yea. That's great."

I can't stop myself from wanting to hold her – she's crying and shaking and I love her so much, I just want it to stop. But again, I reach out to take her hands and she snatches them away from me.

Trying not to look as rejected as I feel, I release a heavy sigh and shove my hands deep into my pockets as my eyes search for anything else to look at besides my very upset, crying wife who can't stand for me to touch her.

-Elena-

_I don't know if time is passing too quickly or too slowly, but all of the stress involved with moving tacked onto this whole Katherine thing, I feel like I'm always on the verge of tears, or screaming, or hitting Stefan. Or all three. I'm trying so hard to not be angry with him, but my mind is playing tricks on me and each day seems like it's harder than the one before._

_It's been a full six days since Stefan had sex with Katherine in our bed. _

_Seven since he and I have slept in the same room. _

_Other than passing Grayson back and forth, I've managed to keep him from touching me since the night we spent on the beach. I'm trying. I'm really, really trying to move past this, but every time I find him lost in his thoughts this whispered voice in the back of my mind bleeds into me the worst case scenario – Stefan's thinking of Katherine. He's thinking of what it was like being with her._

_When he's on his phone, I get this surge of panic that he's talking to her or texting her._

_Caroline called this morning – very early for us, late for them – she's just so excited that we're moving home, but yet, she doesn't call to speak with me… she calls Stefan. Asks him about Roanoke and the distance between there and Mystic Falls versus Wilmington. I know that it's plutonic – I swear to God I know, but when he laughs at something she says I dissect the tone of it, pick apart his voice and his response like I'm some investigator and he's a criminal._

_During dinner tonight – which by the way, we haven't had our mini-tradition of him cooking and us talking since the night Bonnie and Jeremy arrived. I find something else to do… seeing him in such a comfortable, warm context, it hurts me for some reason. Anyway, during dinner, I could barely eat anything and just got up and went to take a shower without telling him or the kids goodnight. _

_Since then I've been laying on the extra –bed for probably two hours trying to find something to take my mind off of him… him with her. I can't focus enough to read any of the manuscripts that I'm already behind on. Listening to music is a bust because really, EVERY song reminds me of him, us… or her. So, I spent a little while flipping through Pinterest on my phone before deciding I need to unload… that's where journaling came in._

_It's been more than three days since I figured out why Stefan was so dead-set on not telling Damon, and if I were being rational and not neurotic, I have to say I understand. He's trying to protect his brother. But what about me? I need Katherine to pay in some way! Something, anything! I don't know if she'd even care if Damon broke up with her, but that's about the most I can influence so that's what I want! Katherine's being possibly pregnant with my husband's child is too much for me to handle – I can't even conceive it._

_Did I say conceive WTH…_

"Elena?" Stefan's voice is quiet, but deep and robust as he opens the door without looking into the room. "May I come in?"

May my husband come in? How did we get to this place…

I want to say, _Sure, of course_. But what comes out is a curt, almost rude, "I guess." as I pull the comforter up and over my journal. I don't know why I do not want him to know that I'm writing, that I'm needing some kind of a release of all of these pent up emotions.

He steps into the room and the frequency between us feels so uncomfortable, awkward even. I can tell he's feeling the same by the way he stands at the foot of the bed, very stiff with his brow low and his face almost unreadable with his fingers pressed firmly against Allie's journal. "I was putting Allie to bed and noticed her diary," I'm half listening and half wishing that I looked as stone-faced as he does… I'm almost positive my eyes are red from a bit of crying I did a bit earlier. "Have you ever seen this?"

Extending his arm to me, I notice that he doesn't take a step towards me or even lean over to help get it closer, forcing me to move to my knees and take it from him. Annoyed, I nearly jerk it out of his hand as I roll my eyes about having to get out from under my warm covers that were protecting my not-as-hot-as-Katherine body from his very green eyes.

I barely look at the doodles before tossing it on the bed and scooting back to my original spot, still warm from my body heat. "Yea, so."

Stefan has this amazing poker face when he's not guilty or ashamed – any other emotion he is pretty great at hiding – but there are these tiny little give-aways that only someone well-versed in all things Stefan would pick up.

The slight adjusting of his chin.

The shadow on his jaw as he clenches his teeth.

And then there are those telling green eyes of his… he's getting irritated, annoyed by my moods.

I know how to push Stefan's buttons, in both good ways and bad… one thing that aggravates him quicker than almost anything else is this teenager like attitude that I'm actually pretty good at putting on even when what I really want to do is crawl over the bed and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Did you look at it?" He asks, adjusting his chin, one eyebrow raising for a fraction of a second before he regained his stone-faced disposition and take the notebook off of the bed, opening back up to the same page.

I huff, "Yes. I saw it when she did it. I don't see what's so important about her drawing a bunch of M's that you feel like you need to come in here in the middle of the night and wake me up!" I regret my shitty response before I even finish the sentence.

"Those aren't M's, Elena." Stefan's voice is getting that grit it in – the very same roughness that has always made my muscles begin to tighten… I hate how my lungs feel restricted as he continues to speak. "And it's not even nine o'clock, yet."

Because I have no other response to him disqualifying my complaint and because of how I'm reacting to his voice, as well as the per-usual desire to put an end to his being angry with me, I just roll my eyes then look down at my fingers in my lap.

"It's an astrological sign." My six year old daughter has no way of knowing an astrological sign – at the registering of his words, I look up to his eyes – looking at me in the same frustrated way I've seen him look at Damon when he's being especially uncouth. "Scorpio." I guess he can tell that I'm confused and concerned, as he begins to explain at the same time I move my feet for him to sit down. "October 23rd through November 21st. All this time she's been having nightmares about this sign, this M…" He swallows, licks his lips and does everything he can not to look away from me when he says, "Katherine has a tattoo on the back of her neck of this M."

"What?" I take the notebook and look over the many pointy tailed M's in different sizes scrolled randomly across the paper. "So she… Allie somehow knew Katherine was up to something?"

Nodding his head, Stefan releases a heavy sigh and put his hand on the inside of my calf – if I'd not had covers over me, separating his touch from being directly against my skin, I think this very innocent, unplanned touch might have actually sparked. Simultaneously, we both look down to where his hand is curved over the shape of my calf, then back to each other. "I think it's safe to say something is _different _about her… about us, even."

He's right. Our gravity, the way I react when he touches me, the connection that we've had since the very instant we looked into one another's eyes in the hall outside of the men's bathroom at school… it wasn't just me being a doppelganger and him being a vampire.

There's something more between us, something that can't be ignored or explained. Can't be destroyed.

And whatever it is, we've passed it down to our daughter.

I want to forgive him, I want to forget that it ever happened – but I just can't. Not right now. Not yet.

"We can't tell her, or anyone." I sigh, my eyes unfocused on the notebook in my lap as I run my fingers over the pencil marks and wish I could get enough nerve to run them across his clenched jaw.

"I know, but someday she's going to realize that she's different… that she has _abilities_." I can see the worry in his eyes, his love for our daughter is almost tangible. It's the one thing about Stefan that his misdeed with Katherine has not skewed in my eyes – he is an amazing father. "We'll have to tell her. Maybe we know something that can help her."

I nod, feeling a bit sad that my daughter is not just a normal girl, remembering how weighted Bonnie was with so many responsibilities from the moment she learned she had magical powers and the way I began to feel like a specimen as news of my existence spread throughout the supernatural world… I never wanted anything like that for Allie. I'm so emotional these last few days – way, way too easily brought to tears and almost immediately my eyes are pooled with wetness.

One escapes my lashes when I see Stefan's hand start to move – presumably to my face like he has always done when I cry – but he stops himself just short of actually moving more than just a barely-there twitch of his muscles. You have no idea how badly I wish I could let him touch me without my brain flying into comparisons of Katherine and me.

"It's going to be okay." Stefan says to me, his thumb grazing up and down the curve of my calf beneath the covers. I wipe my cheek and can't help but wonder if he's talking about Allie or us, or both. "I won't let anything happen to her. Ever." God his eyes are green. I mean, just a perfect emerald in this light and surrounded by the light sage walls of our extra bedroom. So green, so telling… truthful.

It's a very quiet whisper when I respond, "I know." And I hope he can tell that I understand what he's saying.

We spend a long moment like that – separated by the white down comforter, our eyes reading each other in a way that only we can, our frequency easing up and calming down, beginning to return to that mellow warmth that we've experienced for the majority of our two years here in Thailand. I want to tell him that I love him – that I meant what I said the other night, we'll get through this, we will make it – but I don't have the confidence at this moment to say it the way he needs to hear it.

Standing, I hear his elbow pop when his arm straightens and I want to remind him to put a pillow under it when he sleeps – something that only I would know he needs to do when the weather is starting to change and something that he always forgets unless I remind him – but I don't, I just watch him go to the door in this too slow gate as if he's hoping I'll stop him. Stefan is halfway into the hallway before I finally get my mind to work through the hurt I'm feeling and the fear of comparison.

"Goodnight." He says, pulling the door to.

"Stefan?" Lifting his head to look at me, I see hurt I his eyes, worry. "I –" My throat tightens and my heart pounds too hard and I almost chicken out, but I push through. I love him. I'm scared of him right now, and I'm hurt by what has happened to us, but I love Stefan. "This won't last forever, okay?" I try my best, hoping he knows that I'm referring to the strange distance between us. "I just, I need some time to grasp all of this."

He nods quickly, bites his lip like he does and my heart aches for him. "It's okay, Elena." Looking at me even with this distance, I can truly feel his gaze on me and for the first time in a week breathing feels a bit less strenuous when he says, "I'll wait."

***** More to come *****

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	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13 – THE REAPING

-Stefan-

Maybe I have the water too hot or my knees locked and my brain is not getting enough blood flow, but when I open my eyes, blinking through the shower water rolling down my face, I'm just slightly disoriented. Truth be told, for a long moment I'm not sure where I am or what time it is, much less what year is it or how I got to the shower. I guess I've been holding my breath too long, my face submerged by the steady stream of water, as I'm short of breath and it seems like I'm nearly drowning by the time I come to and lean a bit further into the wall – escaping the downpour of water just enough where I can gasp an inhale, both hands splaying flat onto the cool tile for support as the water streams down my back.

Just like every other minute of every other day, I'm flooded with thoughts of Elena – of that wounded look in her eyes, each and every time she's blatantly avoided my touch, the very distant and cold atmosphere between us for the past eleven days… I guess that's why I tense the instant I feel her hand slipping cool against the heated skin of my stomach – then her voice saying my name, right up against shoulder blade and I feel her body pressing against my body, both of her arms tightly around me.

Thankful that she's here, our gravity fizzing between our skin, I put my hands over hers and lace our fingers together as she whispers, "Stefan, I love you." I feel the tension in my body releasing, seeping from muscles and out of my skin, washed away with the water by her words. I love her.

It's been nearly two weeks since we've touched and my heart is pounding in my chest, the rest of my body reacting in line.

Turning to face her, I slip my fingers into her damp hair and wipe at a few beads of water on her cheeks – my eyes torn between looking into the deep, clear, endless brown of her eyes – I love her - or her parted, shiny wet lips – I want her. I barely notice that along with a dark purple tanktop, she's wearing that necklace I gave her back when we first met. I look down, wondering why she's wearing clothes in the shower, but my mind is caught up by the sight of her bra peeking out from the top of her shirt and the way the now heavy, wet fabric clings to her curved stomach.

Her fingers graze against my neck to my jawline and down to my chin, lifting my face to hers as she says, "Don't hide from me…"

Confused, I recognize that line from what feels like a thousand years ago – the first time we made love – and my want for her increases ten-fold. The frequency between us at an unimaginable level, pressing against my lungs and weaved tightly into my every muscle – it feels so good that I forget she's wearing clothes in the shower and forget that she's calling back to our first time; kissing her fingers as they graze across my lips.

I cannot not taste her… my lips are tingling and my body feels as if it's been starved for her! Very aware of the electricity between us, I stop the instant our lips touch – the hesitation sends fire coursing through my veins and that gravity forces me to move closer to her and pull her against me at the same time that I feel her slowly suck my bottom lip into her mouth and her hands cool hands glide across my heated skin to my neck.

…Then there are hands on my waist.

I kiss Elena harder, deeper, moving us against the shower wall with her hands in my hair and my body grinding against hers… hoping that I've imagined that second touch and not wanting to stop this completely unexpected reconciliation between my beautiful wife and I.

"Stefan." I feel her lips against my neck, saying my name in that sickeningly sweet voice of hers and that second pair of hands moving down my stomach while Elena's fingers fist in my hair and she moans into my mouth.

The shock of hearing Katherine's voice knocks me out of sync with Elena and I pull back, stunned maybe. Like she hasn't heard her, Elena kisses my jaw, then my neck, leaving kisses inbetween her words as her lips tease my every nerve ending, "I know who you really are." A long, hard suck beneath my ear, "better than anyone." As Elena's voice vibrates through my body and her kisses tingle against my skin, I find myself coming back to the moment – my mouth yearning to find hers once more… I'm forgetting about Katherine though her hands have moved to the lowest low of my torso and her touch is teasing around my groin.

"I checked in on you over the years." I'm trying to ignore Katherine's voice, the way it's floating into me – but with her hands moving against me and her body pressed against my back and my body flush against Elena's, the pleasure is immeasurable. I can feel Elena's breathing starting to pick up, the passion in her kisses flaming and her tongue slipping and bumping against my tongue - my body is not listening to any sort of directive from my brain.

Elena smiles up at me when I pull away again, a groan escaping my mouth as Katherine's hand pulls at me and Elena's beautifully playful eyes look into mine as she giggles, "Don't ruin the moment."

I shake my head to try and clear my thoughts and take a hand off of Elena's body to push at Katherine's unforgiving stroking by grabbing her wrist and flinging it away from me.

For a long moment it's just me and Elena and our gravity – I've got one hand in her hair and the other slipped under the cotton fabric of her panties, the flesh of her perfectly round ass in my hands as she moans into my ear and I work at her neck the way she likes… half-sucking, half-biting, with her body writhing against mine… but then Katherine starts speaking into my ear and kissing my back.

"…you were watching Bon Jovi and I was watching you." Her hand slips down me again, "I love you."

"We've got a few hours." Elena whispers against my skin, urging me to continue though I've stopped with my head on her shoulder – confused, out of breath, and relishing in both the gravity of Elena's body and the talented movements of Katherine's hands. "No one has to know. It can just be for us."

I swear I've heard her say that before.

When I move to look up at Elena, to ask her why she keeps repeating things she's said to me in the past, Katherine's hand grabs my face and pulls me to look at her over my shoulder.

She looks so much like Elena, like the real love of my life.

But where I see innocence and compassion and truth in Elena's eyes I only see darkness in Katherine's… a darkness that I know lives in me, as well. It's that darkness that will link me to Katherine, possibly forever.

I'm trying to turn my head away from her, but I can't move – Katherine's touch is light against my face but somehow it's overpowering. "I've done terrible things, I know that, but I do love you, Stefan." My eyes move from her sinister eyes to her painted red lips. Once again, I swear I've heard this exact line… word for word, in the same raspy voice that makes me want to taste her tongue.

Like she can read my mind or see my want for her on my face, Katherine whispers, "Nobody will ever know." just as her lips find mine and Elena's mouth sucks at my neck.

Katherine even tastes like the real thing, just like Elena.

I'm holding Elena and she's kissing and sucking at my chest and neck while I kiss Katherine hard and fast – hungry for her, biting her bottom lip hard enough that she presses her nails into my stomach. The contradiction of Katherine's rough, almost domineering touch and kisses combined with the frequency I have with Elena, her fingers in my hair and her mouth on my skin and those soft, throaty moans that she gives … I'm in this heady phase of lust and love and luscious pleasure… and guilty. I feel so ashamed for liking this as much as I do.

"Stefan…" Elena sighs, "I love you." and I turn back to her… my virtuous, perfect wife.

"Fuck me, Stefan" Katherine groans, taking my hand from Elena's face and placing it on her firm, curved hip – I can feel this internal tearing of what I want to be and what I know I am… dark versus light, good versus bad… unable to resist, I turn just slightly away from my wife, towards Katherine even though I know she's virulent and toxic. My gaze is locked on her cherry red lips as she whispers, "Taste what you do to me", kissing her is completely different than kissing Elena – it feels wrong, obscene… but at the same time I feel a part of me waking to her, that darkness in me that she gave life too so very long ago.

"Please Stefan," Elena's voice brings me back from the edge – I'm instantly sickened by the taste of Katherine and I move away from her. "Don't leave me." Elena says, taking my face in her hands… "I'd die. I love you." I nod as Elena begins to kiss my shoulder, her hand moving over my bare chest. "Stefan." I love her. I love Elena. With my every cell, I belong to her.

I despise Katherine… I do not want her touching me and I do not want to want to touch her, but I can't seem to escape her even as I focus on Elena's beautiful, loving eyes.

Katherine says my name in a moan, "Stefan." But I try to ignore her, burying my face into Elena's wet hair and pulling her body against mine.

"Stefan…" Elena sighs. "Stefan."

Then I open my eyes and Elena is standing next to me and I'm ten times more disoriented that I have ever been in my life, but she's scowling at me and holding out my new cell phone. "Stefan, wake up."

I sit up – probably too fast to look casual, but I'm terrified that I may be as turned on as I was in my dream and I cannot bear to have to explain to Elena what I was dreaming about… every night for eleven nights I've had a dream much like that one and it's the reason why I've been avoiding sleep in it's entirety. Putting the pieces together, realizing that I must have fallen asleep outside of Grayson's room when I sat down to see if he could put himself back to sleep, I'm rubbing my eyes and trying to breath as if I am not out of breath when Elena drops the phone on the floor beside me and says, "Katherine sent you a text message." as she walks away from me.

-Caroline-

I wake up to the sound of Klaus' voice, though he's speaking French and I have no idea what he's saying, it's so sexy to see him being very-business man in his unbuttoned pants and unbuttoned shirt, leaned against the wall and eyeing me still in the bed. After a long moment of him spouting off some foreign words and me looking my incredibly hot husband over, a full on fantasy going off in my head, Klaus continues his conversation but climbs onto the bed – on top of the comforter, on top of me, the covers pinning me down beneath his body weight as I give a feeble attempt at getting away and suppress my giggles.

"Cet après-midi," He's speaking into the phone and directly against my cheek, his scruffy beard and soft lips tickling my skin. ""Direct seulement… rien de connexion." He could be talking about cleaning toilets, I have no idea, but I'm melting with each word and each grazing of his lips. "Mmm, merci." He kisses my jaw, "merci, qui fera", then drops the phone and sucks onto my neck in just the right spot.

"Is there a problem…" Think Caroline! I tell myself as I begin to lose myself in his kisses, "With the…" I mean to ask if there is a problem with the house we purchased in France, but that's the best I can do as he adjusts his weight and my arms are free and I just want him – now.

"Yes, mon amour" Klaus stops kissing me and leans up a bit, looking down at me with those bleached blue eyes that I still find so compelling – bad word, I know… but there's no other word that fits. "You're my wife, you're carrying my child, and yet you are working much too hard."

I frown – this has been the topic of our last few arguments, me working instead of lounging around all day with him, or traveling and spending money and being nothing more than some wealthy gypsies. My argument is and will be, I have to work because I love to work… and we're having a child who needs a home, somewhere to plant roots and feel secure. When I open my mouth to start my side of this revolving door tiff we keep running into, Klaus plants a kiss directly on my sticky morning lips and I cringe at the thought.

"No." He smiles that Cheshire cat smile of his, "I'm taking you away for the weekend, and there is nothing that can be done to change my mind, darling." Klaus adds as he moves off of the bed, his hand grazing over my stomach, our growing baby, as his feet find the floor.

"But Kla-" I start to argue, tell him I can't go all the way to France right now. I'm still behind at work and I have an OB appointment early next week, not to mention all the planning that still needs to be done for our wedding in November!

Interrupting me, he sighs "Nothing." And buttons his pants. "But don't worry. I'll have you back by Monday afternoon." I must look as confused as I feel, trying to calculate the flight times and the time zones between Texas and France, because Klaus continues without me asking, "Besides, Stefan and crew will be landing a few hours after us and when someone moves, isn't it protocol for their best friends to offer a hand?"

I swear – I might burst with happiness, realizing where he's taking us for the weekend. "Klaus…" I smile, coming to my knees and slipping my arms around him, my wonderful husband who really has no idea how to be a friend to anyone but is trying so very hard. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

-Elena-

_Did you tell Elena? xo – miss u. ;)_

That bitch sent Stefan a message to see if he'd told me about what they'd done… she'd done, I mean.

I was so angry when I read the alert on his phone that I almost called her. I should have! I should have called her and told Katherine exactly what I think of her! The only thing that stopped me was that I was on the verge of tears after reading the message _– xo, miss u, _winky face! I know that if I would have called her I would have ended up crying into the phone while she reminded me exactly why Stefan should be with her instead of me. So after a moment of staring at the screen of his phone and wondering how he would respond to her, even considering just deleting it, I found Stefan asleep in the hallway and nearly kicked him in the stomach for being such a goddamn perfect father… Let's be honest here, he's even being the perfect after-the-fact-cheating husband!

Going on about our day and going out of his way to let me avoid him, to help me keep from touching him – he gets up in the morning and goes for his run, stretching it out so that he gets home with just enough time for me to get in the car and head to my rented office space. By the time I get home, he's got Allie finished with her homework, Grayson changed and usually bathed, and diner in the making. We eat without speaking to one another – Allie controls the topic of conversation most nights anyway – then once the kids are in bed we go our separate ways.

My marriage has gone from the tip of perfection to the depths of dysfunctional in eleven days.

I'm still steaming mad about the text message and the winky face and the miss u when Stefan comes into the now empty room that used to be our bedroom and says my name in this quiet, pleading way that he does when he knows I'm upset.

I answer with a sigh and the shaking my head, turning to face him with my arms tight around my stomach.

"I hate this." His beautiful eyes look so tired, his brow low and furrowed – the same way I remember him being for most of our relationship from before we came to Thailand. "I hate what I've done to us…"

My mind and my heart are contradicting each other – one saying _You didn't do anything wrong, Stefan._ And the other saying, _yea, you should… you should feel terrible about how you've ruined what we had._ I don't know which response belongs to my heart and which belongs to my mind, so instead of giving a verbal response, I just shrug and glare at him and wonder what he said back to Katherine.

Like he can read my mind, Stefan sits his phone on one of the already packed boxes and says, "I'm not going to message her, Elena. I want nothing to do with her."

"I know." I lie even though I can sense his honesty – Stefan has never lied to me, but the majority of my conscience feels as though there's atleast one thing he'd like from her, and probably on a regular basis. I can't handle the thought – I've been unable to eat much and thinking of him with her makes me feel nauseas, so I change the subject in this awkward, short pause, strange tone of voice, "We should get some sleep. The movers will be here early and we'll need to get on the road by nine."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Stefan takes a step towards me and I feel both happy by the shorter distance between us and aggravated that he's not respecting my wishes. "We could stay here…" I roll my eyes and huff at the thought - yea, I want to stay here in this house where Katherine finally got her way. "Or we could buy another place, go to Italy maybe?"

"I need my friends and family right now, Stefan." I frown and hate the way my voice sounds as if I'm talking down to him. "Running off to some unrealistic paradise isn't going to make me forget what you did."

I regret the words that I didn't filter the second I see his jaw clench down and his eyes move to the floor – I've shamed him.

Stefan has always been able to front with superb accuracy and it only takes a second for his eyes to find mine again, "Okay, whatever you want, I'm on board."

I roll my eyes at him, feeling like a petulant teenager who's parent is taking a gentle hand with them while they go through a difficult time – screw him and his perfect responses and understanding and over-all good guy-ness. I'm searching for something to complain about and all I can find is something that happened during dinner tonight. "You're going to have to stop with the whole speaking Italian, secret language thing you and Allie do." Before I know it, my hands are on my hips and I'm speaking louder than I mean to. "It's rude and it makes me like you're trying to talk about something without me knowing."

From the slight turn of his head and the way he raises his eyebrows a bit, I can see Stefan fighting off the urge to get an attitude right back at me, "We were." His tone is so calm and even, totally opposite of the fire I see in his gaze. Even from this distance – me by the window and him near where the bed once was, probably fifteen feet – Stefan's eyes are so easy for me to read. "She wanted to know if we were fighting."

It knocks the wind out of me – hearing that our precious, perfect little Allie that looks so much like the Stefan that I'll love for the rest of my life is aware of the rocky state of our marriage – still, I push on, owning my hurt and fear as anger. I do not want Stefan to know that I'm dying inside… from the news of Allie's observation, of the fact that she felt like she couldn't ask me, and the deep, strong desire that I have in my chest to cross this distance between us and fall into his arms.

Through a tight throat, my voice sounds bitter when I say, "And what did you tell her, Stefan?"

Even as I spit out his name like it's poison from my lips, Stefan stays cool – his body tense and neck flexed, "I asked her when she learned French." I'm confused, my brows knitted together. Stefan continues without me asking, "She wasn't speaking Italian at first. It was French. Old French, actually." He takes another step towards me and I look down at his clean, nice-looking barefeet, then back to his face when he says. "I asked her, in Italian, when she learned French and she said she heard Klaus speaking to himself."

"Speaking to himself?" I ask the question even though we both know the answer… a fear we've had for quite some time. "His thoughts?" Stefan nods, pressing his lips together tightly – another step – our gravity turning softer, easier, nicer. "And she was… fluent?"

Nodding again, yet another step, he does that sexy, slight turn of the head thing he does when his neck is tense, his voice quiet and deep, "Later on when I was reading to her before bed, I asked her what she'd said to me at the table and that's when she asked if we were fighting."

With our frequency easing up, or maybe getting stronger – I don't know – when I speak it's much less hateful than before when I ask again, "What did you tell her?"

Stefan has this way of looking at me… it's like he can see straight through me, like the moment our eyes connect he can feel me and I can feel him and it's both unnerving and soothing – evocative almost. "I told her I love you. That no matter what I'd go out of my way, do anything to make sure you're happy. That sometimes I mess up and I make you cry." I close my eyes to hide the tears beginning to pool at my lashes and to remove his beautiful face from my sight, but it's etched into my memory. "I told her that I know you love me too, and I'm going to do everything I can to make you smile again."

Swallowing hard, I cover my mouth with my fingers and _feel _Stefan coming closer – our gravity pushing me towards him. After a long moment of me trying to not cry even as a stray tear or two find their way down my cheek, Stefan's hand comes to the side of my face and I just crumble from his gentle touch and the love radiating through us.

I don't know how long I hold onto him, both of my arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders and my face buried in his neck – I inhale the scent of him, bathe in his warmth. It's this beautiful silence with nothing but his breathing and my breathing and the simple sincerity of his words still hanging in the air.

Hours later, we're on the floor of our bedroom where our bed once was – me laying flat on my stomach on a blanket he'd found in a not-yet-taped box, and Stefan on his back, laying perpendicular to me – our faces maybe a foot apart. Other than the very long hug earlier tonight, this is the closest we've been since the night we spent on the beach. He's fallen asleep after listening to me spew out all the vile, wretched thoughts I'd been containing for so long now – it's funny, I'd been nauseous since the moment he told me what happened, but now that I'm laying here and I've told my best friend everything that I was feeling, my stomach has stopped that relentless churning and I actually feel… I guess, almost okay.

We talked about my fear that he wants her – I know he's telling me the truth when he swears he doesn't, _not in any way, _but it's something I'm going to have to deal with on my own as it's been a shadow of doubt in the back of my mind for years… this has just pushed it to the light. I'm still not sure if I meant it when I asked him not to speak to Caroline anymore, but he agreed – without any hesitation at all really… he just let go of the person he's told me understand him second only to me. By the time he fell asleep we'd covered Allie's very odd abilities, the fact that Katherine is cheating on Damon with a second person, a couple of houses he found for sale in Wilmington (he's pulling for North Carolina over Virginia… me, not so much.), and what kind of vehicles we should buy once we get to the states. It was so nice to have a simple, easy conversation with Stefan that I was just about to take back what I'd asked regarding Caroline – I mean, I was just really close, but his beautiful green eyes were looking so sleepy and when I put my hand on his chest to wake him a bit, he took my hand in his and kissed my palm, then my inner-wrist and said, "You own me" in this soft, sweet voice that gave me butterflies and tightened my lungs to the point that I forgot what I was going to say. So now I'm laying here and watching him and I'm ready for us to get home and start our lives again… back where we started.

-Allie-

Grayson is having trouble with his seat, but Mommy and Daddy can't understand him like I do, so after he cries for a very long time and Mommy is nearly completely in the back seat, trying snacks and toys and songs and his bottle, I sit my book down and adjust the shoulder strap for him.

When he tells me thanks, I just smile back.

No one knows that Grayson can talk yet and I don't think Mommy and Daddy would like it if I told them that he only talks to me. He's still very little and doesn't know many words or how to use them like you are supposed to, but I've been listening to him since he was in Mommy's belly, so I have a way of understanding him.

Before Grayson woke up for his name, Mommy was doing that thing where she tries to ask me questions without saying them with her mouth. They've been trying to get me to answer them for as long as I can remember, but I know that no one else can hear what I hear and I know it's wrong, so I've done good at being able to ignore the silent questions and remember to answer the real ones. Daddy surprised me a minute ago, though. I could hear Mommy thinking about Daddy having more babies and I could hear Daddy thinking about how much he doesn't want to move to Mystic Falls and I was reading my favorite part of Where The Wild Things Are when I heard him say my name – just as I realized he hadn't SAID it, I looked up at him looking back at me through the mirror on the window.

I hope I don't get in trouble.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	14. Chapter 14

`**CHAPTER 14 -THE REAPING**

-ELENA-

I've got one of those headaches that is so deeply engrained that the pain throbs all the way down your neck and even resonates in your gums.

I didn't sleep much last night, then the movers show up an hour late and put us on the road later than we'd planned. Most of the seven hour drive was hurried and in heavy rain with Grayson's screaming and Allie's snarky attitude… you can imagine how the day has gone so far.

While I curled up in the passenger seat trying to ignore my crying children, Stefan's grip on the steering wheel grew tighter and tighter, his jaw sitting tense and an annoyed look on his face. Things between us have been pretty easy for the most part – not that we've really had any time together with the last minute packing and the getting the kids together this morning and now we've bee-lined it to our gate – barely making the flight… but where that odd coldness had been is now a polite distance.

Baby steps.

Slow improvements are lasting improvements… funny how quickly I can get angry with him again - not just angry, furious.

I had just got Grayson's travel seat snapped into the seat next to me while Stefan was wrangling Allie across the aisle, the flight attendant going through all the safety jargon and the last order for turning off our electronics hitting the full first class section with a heavy collective sigh.

"Do you have my phone?" Stefan asks, I can hear the frustration in his voice as Allie continues to wail about something or another. If we can just get the plane in the air, she'll pass out like she normally would have in the car if the storm hadn't been so terrible. I nod, slipping my now powered down Iphone into my purse and retrieving Stefan's.

"You've got a text." I tell him, holding his phone out to him from across the aisle.

Stefan doesn't even look over, shrugging as he falls back into his seat and rests his head against the back. "Who is it?"

And that's when I feel the coldness close back in on me… the instant I flip his screen with my thumb and read the text from Damon. It must be obvious on my face – my anger, my fear, the terror of what Damon could be referring to – as the frequency between Stefan and I reaches a painful degree of tension before I read the message aloud.

Damon: Call me. I have HUGE news!

-Stefan-

If it's possible for me to have heart attack then it's going to happen during this flight, today… any minute.

I've been strung at a high tension all day. Allie is finally quiet, watching Despicable Me on my IPad and Elena has just nursed a now sleeping Grayson, so at least they're calm, but Damon's text message has set Elena and I off once again.

The entire right side of my body, the side nearest Elena, is stinging from our frequency and those million tiny little needles that her anger is sending out. My heart is hitting the walls of my chest so hard that it's blurring my vision a bit with each beat. In just over two hours, since Damon's message of 'huge news', I've chugged three bottles of water and a glass of bourbon and yet my throat still feels like sandpaper.

I keep telling myself there is no way Katherine could be pregnant. No way.

But there is.

It's actually extremely possible if she was telling the truth about ovulating…

Since I can't force myself to believe the lie, I've gone off on other routes – other things that he may be talking about.

He got accepted into a law school? No, he just started applying – it takes months.

Maybe he won the lottery? Damon is more of the poker kind of guy versus Powerball.

But I keep coming back to the same answer – what else could it be?

"Elena?" I whisper her name and to most everyone else, it probably looks like she didn't hear me, but I've been captured by her beautiful face for so many years that I notice even the slightest changes - I catch the minor flutter of her lashes, the quick flinch of her eyes as she forces herself not to look at me – focusing on the manuscript laying on her lap. "Elena, it can't be…" I can't even bring myself to say it, so I just pause and swallow the lump of unspeakable words, "… it's only been twelve days."

That's my only hope. I honestly have zero scientific basis for my theory – twelve days cannot be enough time to know if you're pregnant. With Allie, Elena was three months along when Bonnie sensed the pregnancy. Grayson, though planned, I have no idea how far along we were when Elena remembered that she was 'late'. Back then we were still sharing a shower every night and making love with every chance we got. Maybe I'm grasping at straws here, but I can't lose that little bit of us that we got back last night. I can't.

Still not looking at me, Elena's eyebrows purse together, pucking the skin between them into a deep wrinkle as she rolls her eyes at me, at my feeble attempt at discrediting our fears. My worst nightmare come true. I know Elena wants to be the kind of woman that sticks it out and works through it, but the past week and a half have been exactly like what I'd expected – she didn't leave Thailand, but Elena had left me. As much as she wants to love me unconditionally, I think we both know that it's not real – not from her side at least.

"Those tests," I start again, whispering a bit louder and leaning into the aisle between us, my nerves flaring from the pain of those pin-prickling needles of our frequency. "they can't be used this early." A flight attendant passes, giving me a quick glare and I feel my skin heat from embarrassment, shame. Its like everyone that looks at me somehow knows what I've done – my crime. I clear my throat and try to shake the guilt from my voice before speaking again, "And even if she is… it's a small chance that-"

"Stefan." Elena cuts me off, her dark eyes filled with annoyance as she looks my way with raised eyebrows, gesturing towards Allie. She'd been so quiet, watching her movie, I'd almost forgot she was sitting there awake listening to our every word… every thought. "This is not the place to discuss this." She adds, each word formed to perfection the way she does when her anger is at a fevers pitch.

Elena's right – for so many reasons we cannot talk about this over an aisle with our kids at our sides.

As I'm unbuckling my lapbelt, I'm not lost to the irony of what I'm about to do… my minds eye sending crystal clear images of Elena and I through me and the urge to smile at the memory of our trip to Rome feels somewhat tasteless, but what can I do? Our situation is in such a state of reversal from that flight, but that memory, that trip, it's one of the greatest memories of my life.

"Allie," I swear to you, when my daughter looks up at me I can almost see it in her evergreen eyes – she already knows what I'm about to say. "Keep an eye on Grayson for a moment will you?" I hear Elena sigh, or inhale to object maybe, but I continue in order to keep her from putting a stop to my plan. "Mommy and I need to talk."

From the look on Elena's face when I turn to her and extend my hand, the thought crosses my mind that she may slap my hand away and simply refuse. After what seems like a very long moment of her looking at my open hand then my face intermittently, she gives another rolling of her eyes as she stands – stepping into the aisle without taking my hand for assistance.

I don't know if it's hurt or anger, but something flares up in my gut in response to her surly attitude. Reminding myself that I'm the bad guy in this situation, I swallow the insolent remark that tries to escape my mouth – instead, I gesture for her to go ahead of me.

Blame it on the memories of our trip to Rome and the last time we stood in an in-flight lavatory, but I'm having difficulty keeping a straight face and my eyes off of her body as I follow her. Luckily, the instant I shut the door behind me and turn to face Elena, I'm quickly shut down in that department when she says in a seething whisper, "How could you have not known?!"

How could I have not known? I've been asking myself that same question for days, but coming from Elena – with her raspy voice and accusing tone, flaming anger in her teary eyes, the question burns into me in the same way I remember vervain would sear my skin.

I open my mouth to respond, but I have nothing.

"This is not the way I wanted my life to be, Stefan." She continues as I stammer for a response. "Forever connected to Katherine – a step mother to her child! Your child!"

"I know, I'm sorry." I move to her – there is no more than eighteen inches between us but it feels like a cavern. I don't know why I feel shocked when Elena doesn't move away from me – half of me wonders if she's only allowing it because there's not enough space in this small bathroom to put up a fuss. Still, from reading her body language, I know she's angry, terribly upset, and I keep my touch innocent, holding her shoulders and forcing myself not to attempt hugging her.

Again, I'm taken aback when Elena steps into me, her arms slipping around my waist and holding me tightly. I'd prepared myself for an argument of massive proportion and feel my tension easing with each passing second that her body is against mine. I'm relishing in the comfort of her, of her embrace, of how much I love Elena – one hand on her lower back, the other in her hair – when Elena says in a soft sigh, "I love you, Stefan."

Sometimes, it feels like I forget that she loves me – I feel like a passing phase of her life, a season maybe – I guess that's why I was so sure that Elena would leave me after my night with Katherine. I'm thinking about how many times Elena has proven her love to me – in Dallas after Caroline's costume party, in Miami when she took off Damon's ring, in Naples when she begged me to turn her, the way she fought for me when I was with Klaus…

I feel my chest tighten with a million emotions for her, how much I adore her, how much I owe her – I inhale to tell her that I love her. That I swear I'll make things right, I'll fix this. We'll get through this, but Elena speaks first.

"but I can't live with this." Pulling back just enough to look up at me, her words crush me, "If Katherine is pregnant, Stefan, I'm sorry but I can't handle sharing my life with her…" She looks down at my chest as she delivers the final blow. "I can't be with you."

I know I'm the villain. It has not escaped me that I've cheated on my wife, among the hundred other crimes I've committed, but it's like my body revolts against all of that reprobate knowledge and I immediately step away from Elena – as far as I can get, my back pressed against the door as my skin begins to overheat and I feel that anger in me begin to boil.

She can't be with me.

I feel this explosion of words in my throat – accusations and negative truths and a list of times where I've swallowed my pride and stayed with her, loved her unconditionally – but somehow by my being tricked into sleeping with Katherine, Elena cannot be with me…

I've closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, holding my breath in an effort to keep from reminding Elena that she willingly fell into Damon's bed, that she has never denied _loving_ Damon, that she drug me to hell and back with her straddling the line between my brother and I… somehow Elena translates my appearance into sadness, maybe heartbreak, and she says, "I'm sorry, Stefan, I am."

She's sorry.

I exhale through my nose slowly, forcing the anger inside of me back into that hole in my gut. Back to that place where I store all things that I want to say, want to do, when I know I shouldn't. I move from one foot to the other as I struggle to keep my thoughts to myself. I often don't say things outloud – I contain and compartmentalize to a disturbing degree. In that hole, the basement of me – the darkest part of myself – are hundreds of thousands of bottles of rage and despair, fear and sinful desires. Sitting there, stored and ready to break free and slip from my grip and turn me into the monster I've fought for nearly two centuries.

I don't want to hurt her. Never. I just, I can't believe how she openly tells me she doesn't love me the way I love her. It's painful to actually hear her say it.

I don't know how long we stand there like that – me fighting my mind and her watching me like she's afraid I'm about to cry. I'm not. I'm not sad… I'm offended. After all this time, after ever way I've proven to her that I love her – ONLY HER – no matter what happens or what she does or who comes in-between us, I will always love her.

I hear my teeth begin to grind against each other just as Elena says, "Do you think of her? Of that night?"

I wish I could lie to her, but even when I'd let myself reside into that darkness I'd open my mouth to tell her something I knew was bullshit and the truth would come from my lips – her dark, endless eyes pulling it from the deadness inside of me, giving me a hint of life again.

"Yes." I shake my head as those dreams, nightmares, slip into my memory. "Everytime I sleep I have these… images of her and you." Even now, looking at my wife with her arms crossed and her brow furrowed and that blazing look in her eyes, I want her to love me like I love her. "Sometimes it's like she's trying to tear me away from you. Other times I can't tell you from her and it's terrifying."

For a split second it actually feels nice to have released that into the universe – how I've been haunted by Katherine every single time I've closed my eyes – but I soon regret saying anything at all, the moment I see Elena's eyes squint in the slightest and I feel those pin-prickling needles again.

"You're dreaming about her?" She asks, her voice louder than before and carrying that accusatory tone that slices into me. I look at her like I'm confused… I am confused. How could she have misunderstood? "Do you know how hearing that makes me feel, Stefan?"

I watch her uncross her arms, push her hair behind her ears and look me up and down. All the while I'm thinking, _no Elena, I have no idea what it would feel like to be cheated on. To be deduced to a choice._ _But of course, as always, let's discuss how this makes _you _feel._

"Do you find her attractive?" I hear her question and feel my eyes widen with surprise, pausing as I try to figure out what angle she's pulling. "Do you?" Elena prods, her hands on her hips.

"What am I supposed to say here, Elena?" I hear the strain in my voice and regret it even though it feels like I'm letting go of a weight I'd been toting around on my chest. "How am I supposed to answer that?"

"Truthfully." Elena says curtly.

"So I either incriminate myself or lie to you?" I huff. "She looks _just like you_, Elena."

Elena gives me this smile – it's very Katherine like, the way it doesn't touch her eyes and spreads across her face in a threatening way. "So that's a yes."

"How could I not be? But Elena, I love you. I love you. Do you not hear that?" She starts to turn away from me as my voice gets more rough, somewhat more forceful, but I take her by her upper arm and pull her back to me. "When I tell you I love you I'm not saying it out of habit or obligation." A knock at the door cuts me off and when her round, chocolate brown eyes move to my mouth, watching me speak, I know she can tell that I'm getting angry. For some reason, Elena has always been turned on by the angry-tension that squeezes us when we're arguing. I can't say I don't like the way our gravity forces us together, but it took a long time for me to understand her attraction to it. Speaking quieter and looking down at my beautiful wife, I feel those contradicting emotions in my guy – anger and desire – as I add, "When I say I love you, I mean those words. I say it to remind you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"Excuse me?" Knock-knock-knock. "Hello?"

I turn around and open the door, leaving Elena to consider my words and walking into the suspicious stare of the flight attendant waiting outside the lavatory.

-Bonnie-

I know it hasn't been but like two weeks since I last saw Elena and the kids, but I've been sitting on the chaise lounger reading through some of my Grams old spell books, impatiently waiting on them to show up. Just past two in the morning, I hear a car pull into the driveway and all of my fatigue from the day full of kindergarten children and heavy eye lids from reading disappear. I'm running out of the door and feeling like a little kid who hasn't seen her best friend all summer!

Stefan is always pretty even keeled – upset, he's straight-faced. Mad, he's straight-faced. Happy, you guessed it, straight-faced. But Elena, I can read her from a mile away.

Straight-faced Stefan nods and gives a tired smile as I trot past him in my pj's and house shoes. He's getting out of the drivers seat and I refrain from squealing as Allie and Grayson are probably sleeping. The second I see Elena, I get that daunting feeling that something is wrong – really, really wrong.

It could be that she's tired – from their house to mine is more than 26 hours of travel – of course they're all exhausted. But it's something else – the slow blink, the fake-excitement Elena tries to have as we hug, the half-second too long look we share.

Stefan must have told her…

He makes me sick. I know, I know – Katherine swears he didn't mean to hurt her, but if you could've seen the bruises on her! I had a hard time believing it at first – that Stefan basically forced himself on her, but the bruises sold it. No one is that kinky, not even 'the ripper'.

Disgusted by the thought of him, I follow Elena into the house where Stefan is waiting and notice that he hardly looks at either of his, his eyes on the floor, and I decide that it's good that he's told her about Katherine. Katherine was sure he'd tell her something – give her some story, _he's too guilty to hide _it she said, but honestly I thought for sure he'd keep it to himself.

Still, it's a good thing Elena knows _something _happened between them as it's going to make it a lot easier for me to tell her the truth about what really happened! I'll be going against Katherine's wishes, but I cannot let Elena live in the dark about what Stefan really did!

Giving my best smile, I show them to their room and secretly wish I could use my powers to give him brain aneurisms like I used to when he was a vampire. Silly, I know, but when he sits Grayson's seat down I give it a try and feel a load of disappointment when nothing happens.

"Can I use your restroom?" He asks

Nodding, I step out of the guest room and gesture down the hall, "Second door on the right."

I wait until I hear the bathroom door close, watching Elena pretend to be busy moving pillows and putting them back, then say "You two okay?"

Sitting on the bed, facing away from me, Elena releases a loud sigh, "Is it that obvious?" I want to tell her everything, but I know it's going to destroy her – I guess that's why I hesitate, going to sit next to her and laying my head on hers when she rests against my shoulder. "We've been silent for almost a full day now."

"You can talk to me." I try, hoping that she'll start the topic and tell me a bit of the lies that I am sure he's told her. "That's what best friends are for, ya know?"

Lifting her head, Elena gives me this terribly sad smile – the same kind that was pretty standard back when she was compelled and depressed and completely lost. "I know. And I will." I hear the bathroom door open just as Elena adds, "but I'm exhausted right now. Can we talk tomorrow?"

I agree and head out of the room with a quick goodnight just as Stefan makes his way back. I feel the selfish desire to not say anything at all, keep it to myself in order to keep Elena from breaking, but my gut won't allow it – as always, I have to say something even when it's not my place.

So as I climb into bed with an already asleep Jeremy, I lay awake for a long while trying to decide my words and plan out everything I know.

She'd come back to the house after she and Damon got into a fight.

After a few drinks, they started fooling around – I don't know if I'm going to tell her that Katherine made the first advance, as it doesn't really matter. It takes me hours to figure out what I'm going to say and how, but by the time I finally fall asleep I'm pretty content with my decision.

Tomorrow I'll take Elena to lunch and unload… Stefan raped Katherine.

******MORE TO COME******

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	15. Chapter 15

**CHAPTER 15 – THE REAPING**

-Caroline-

I know Klaus thinks I should knock, but hello, it's Bonnie's house – so I ignore his annoyed face as I open the wooden screen door and step in, pulling my reluctant husband by his hand. It was only a few years ago that entering a home was hit or miss, but Klaus spent so long as a vampire that it's almost natural for him to worry with the threshold boundary that protects humans from vampires. To this day I can still feel him relax when he's not barred by that invisible force.  
I'm looking back at him, taking in his surprised smile, when I hear Allie squeal my name and before I know it she's wrapped around my waist.

"Hey ladybug!" When she looks up at me, I feel a ping of some strange emotion in my heart when I see Stefan's green eyes on her little face. "Where's your daddy and mommy?"

"Hey?!" Elena smiles, coming out of the kitchen and giving me a great big smile. "I didn't know you guys were coming!"

"Yea," I hug her, "Klaus thought you guys might need some moving help."

When Elena and I pull away, she gives Klaus a quick nod and I fight back the urge to smack her in the back of the head. I mean, come on, how long can she hold a grudge? Thankfully, Bonnie entering the living room catches me from confronting Elena about her ignorant distance with Klaus – if she only knew what he's done for her, for Stefan.

"Caroline. Klaus." Bonnie stops mid-step, stuffing something into her purse. "When did – what are you guys doing here?"

Ignoring what sounds like a not-so-thrilled-to-see-us tone of voice, I give her a quick hug, then return to Klaus' side to show him my support in this room full of apprehensive faces – noting that Allie is holding his hand… smart girl. We stand there all awkward for a bit – me trying to not look annoyed by how Elena and Bonnie keep sharing quick glances – heck, I even say something nice about the very under-decorated and quaint living room while I silently wish Stefan was here.

Finally, the odd tension in the room is broken when Allie says, "Daddy went to the store."

"Yea, actually we were about to head out." Bonnie sighs, jingling her keys in her hand – another shared look with Elena. "Jeremy agreed to watch the kids so Elena and I could grab some lunch at the Grille."

_Elena and I_ – is that a sly way of telling me I'm not invited.

"You know, Bon, why don't you, Caroline and Klaus go – take Allie." When I see Bonnie's crooked, pursed lip glare at Elena, I know without a doubt that I was absolutely not meant to go on this girls lunch.

Don't get me wrong, I totally get that it's Klaus they are rejecting and not me per say – but Klaus and I are a package deal, so I'm slightly peeved.

I start to open my mouth and spout off at Bonnie's little know it all expression, but Elena adds, "Stefan will be home soon and we need to talk."

Seriously, another Elena-Bonnie glance. What the hell am I missing here? "Is everything okay?" I ask as I do my best inspection of their stone-straight faces.

When Elena lies, it's like she's ripping Bandaid off too slowly – it shows all over face, from her shifty eyes to raised-high eyebrows and fake smile. "Yea, fine. Just really tired from the trip. We've got a lot to discuss about apartments and all."

There's another short pause as I give Elena a 'bullshit' frown and Bonnie shifts her weight from one leg, to the other, then back again, nervously. "You guys are probably too tired to want to go out." Bonnie tries, giving Klaus and I her fakest smile.

I'm regretting coming to Mystic Falls at all when Klaus says, "You know, I have some errands to take care of in town. Why don't you and Bonnie go to lunch with Miss Alexia while I handle a bit of business, love?"

He's smiling at me, his hand low on my back, and I'm returning his grin, but we both know what's going on here – they hate him, no matter what he does or how good he is to me, they hate him – and I hate them for making the love of my life feel unwanted.

Still, I give a large exhale, extending my hand to Allie, and say, "Okay, that sounds good."

-ELENA-

Stefan: Fifteen minutes maybe. Finishing up the lease.

With still sleepy eyes from my small, but much needed hour long nap, I re-read Stefan's text, and sit up on the side of the bed.

That was only five minutes ago. I don't know why I'm feeling so upset and nervous about him coming back to Bonnie's… I mean, I do. We're going to call Damon and get 'the news', but it's more than that. It's so much more.

I need to apologize for my ignorant outburst in the plane. I need to apologize to him for being confused – again, yes I know. I tell him that I don't blame him and that I'm not angry that he slept with Katherine, then I shut him out and shut everything off…

You cannot believe the turmoil that has been doing somersaults in my stomach for two weeks now.

I want to be okay with this.

I'm not.

I want to support him through what he's going through.

But I can't get the thought of Katherine's hands on Stefan out of my head.

I look at him – my beautiful husband with his warm skin and strong, capable body – and I see all the places she touched him. I imagine her mouth on his chest and her kisses on his perfect stomach. It just gets worse from there, so I'll spare you the details… but it's Katherine that's keeping me from being able to forgive and forget.

I'm fighting all of the images in my head and making a cup of coffee when I hear a car door through the screen door and feel lighter already, just knowing Stefan is here. I don't want to argue. I don't want to be distant and cold. I just want to call Damon, get the news, and then decide where to go from here.

In the bathroom, on the plane, I told him I couldn't be with him if Katherine is pregnant… I told him I couldn't share him. I don't know if I meant it.

Until I hear the news, until the words are actually spoken – Katherine is pregnant – I'm stuck in this purgatory of the unknown.

Taking a deep breath, I exhale slowly through my nose, stand straight and force a smile when I hear him coming to the front porch – I don't notice the click-clack of high heels or the lack of our gravity until I hear her raspy voice call to Bonnie as she knocks on the door.

"Hey, Bon?" I nearly explode. Just the sound of her voice and I'm filled with anger. "Bon, it's Kat."

The screen door squeaks open and something inside of me catches fire, sending me into the living room – fueled. I have to see her face to face. My exact replica and my exact opposite.

If she's surprised to see me it doesn't show on her face.

Katherine is, as always, perfectly dressed. I find myself wanting to break away from the hard glare we share to steal a look at her stomach, but she's wearing a deep-v dress that's cinched tight with a belt high on her stomach, letting the eggplant purple material flow loosely over her body. I can't tell if she's wearing it to hide a possible baby bump or because, paired with the black ankle boots and loose curls, she looks like a Victoria's Secret model.

"Hmm, looks like my reunion with Stefan gave you enough motivation to drop a few pounds." Katherine says through a cold smile, looking me up and down.

I'm stupid for feeling happy that she noticed, but I stand a bit straighter and pull my shoulders back a little. Katherine is right, I have lost six pounds in two weeks… and it's all thanks to her. To the images of her experiencing the way My Stefan makes love to me that have kept me ill for fourteen days.

"What are you doing here, Katherine?" I ask, silently calculating how long I have until Stefan gets here and wishing that Jeremy would come in from his shop out back.

Even though I know she's not a vampire, I feel a trill of fear slip through my spine when Katherine steps closer to me, "I came to see Stefan, of course." She picks a piece of cheerio off of my shirt, left from Grayson's midmorning snack, then adds, "You of all people should know how addictive the youngest Salvatore can be."

Gritting my teeth, I roll my eyes and watch her traipse down the hallway a bit as if she's looking for something, someone maybe, "Why are you doing this Katherine? I thought you and I had called a truce…" Growing more frustrated with her callousness, my voice raises when I say, "And then you go and trick Stefan… you steal my dress and pretend you are me. For what? Why do you want to ruin us?"

"Trick, Stefan…" Katherine stops, crosses her arms and leans against the hallway doorframe, adding through her heartless grin, "is that what he told you?"

I wish I had a better poker face. Right now, in this moment with Katherine looking so confident and victorious, I don't know what to believe and I feel that heavy shadow of doubt settle into my nauseated stomach.

"Come on, Elena…"She huffs, standing straight. "You and I may look alike, but we both know that there is no way he could confuse whatever it is you do in bed, to the way I am with him."

I feel vomit gurgling in my esophagus… I want to say something back, something snide, but I cannot open my mouth for fear of puking all over myself.

"I'd be willing to bet you lay there like the stony, little boring girl that you are and let Stefan do all the work." When my mind throws back hundreds of memories of Stefan and I making love, my eyes flutter a bit when I realize that Katherine is spot on. For the most part, Stefan is always in the lead. "Yea," She chuckles, catching that tell-tale sign, "figures… how long do you think it took Stefan to notice the difference, Elena?"

I hear a car door and we both turn in unison to the screendoor – it has to be Stefan. Seconds later, I'm feeling that pull, our gravity, and it calms me just enough to say, "Stefan loves _me_, Katherine."

There. You horrible monster of a person. Stefan loves me… not you.

I think I've really got her. I mean, she backs up a bit, then turns to leave just as Stefan steps in – standing very cautiously and looking from me to her in rapid fire timing, back and forth – Finally stopping his worried gaze on me and saying, "Elena, what's going on?"

Katherine speaks before I can, "Oh nothing. Just some girl talk."

"You need to go." Stefan says sternly, opening the door for her to leave.

Katherine shrugs with an amused smile on her face, looks Stefan over, then turns to me again.

"I have no interest in _ruining you._ To be honest, I could care less." Her face changes from the carefree, soft smile to a much more threatening expression when she steps to me and says, "But I swear to you, Elena, if you mention any of this to Damon, I will kill you and everyone you have ever met… then I'll take Stefan and you're sweet little family, and you can rot in this little town all alone like you were meant to before Stefan pulled you from that car."

"Katherine." Stefan says her name like a warning, but I'm still frightened of her. I believe her. Every word. Vampire or not, she is as dangerous as ever… how I wish I would have listened to Stefan when he told me those same exact words.

"No one wants you here, Katherine." I try in a forced smirk. I don't even finish the sentence before I know it's failed, flat on the floor and completely unconvincing due to my shaky voice.

Still, Katherine turns to go… I guess she's got what she came here for. To reinforce my silence.

I watch her go, thankful that she's nearly out the door, but then she stops – right in front of Stefan who is still holding the screen door with an outstretched arm.

I want to cross the room and rip her eyes from her head when I see her look at his mouth, then down his body in that slow, craving way that I recognize so well… only because it's the same way I look at him.

"Oh, I think _someone_ wants me." She teases, lightly strumming her fingertips on Stefan's stomach before he pushes her hand away. "Listen Elena," Katherine leans back against the frame, pushing her hips out towards Stefan's body in a suggestive way. "You're right, Stefan does love you, but don't be stupid… You may have his heart…" Again, she looks at Stefan, but this time right into his eyes and he's looking down into hers and for the life of me I cannot deny that they look sexy together…wanton, almost. "…but I will always have his body."

-Stefan-

When I walked in and saw both Elena and Katherine standing before me, I'll be honest, it took me a moment to realize which was which, to realize I was awake! Just like my nightmares… there they were; both beautiful, both able to break me in unimaginable ways.

Thankfully, in reality I can spot the innocence and compassion in Elena's eyes – feel our frequency – and I was able to tell the two of them apart before I mentally cracked.

"Elena…" What can I say? Sorry that she came over and rubbed what I did in your face? I'm sorry that my ex-girlfriend is psychotic?

"Is she right?" Elena snaps, glaring at me, crossing her arms.

Of course, she's angry. How could she not be… "Elena, I'm so –"

"She seems to think you knew exactly which one of us it was you were screwing!" Elena screams… literally screams, and I barely pick up the sound of Caroline's voice over Elena's fury and the blood beginning to rush behind my ear drums.

She's angry. I understand. I know that. But, to accuse me of right out cheating on her… I'm going to have to keep myself in check to get through this without losing my cool. It's a small miracle that Caroline is here… her presence will help.

-Katherine-

Great. His little minion is here. Caroline, The Original First Wife, Mikaelson. And she's with Bonnie, my stupid, naive puppet. I tell you, drop a couple of tears and Bonnie comes running to save the day. Stupid Bitches.

"Bonnie, hey…" I sigh, shrugging and giving my best 'poor little ol' me' frown as I head to my car, hanging my head in faux-defeat.

From the weak smile I get from her, I know Bonnie is still on my side but Caroline walks right past me, knocking her shoulder into mine as she goes by.

It takes every ounce of willpower I have not to turn around and break her neck, but then all of this would be for nothing and I can't risk that. Not until I find out if being a few days late means I'm pregnant, or if it's just another false alarm set off by a faulty 500 year old biological clock.

Bonnie scolds Caroline for her attitude, then comes to me and rubs my arm with her hand, asks if I'm okay.

You'd think it was Bonnie who suffered from memory loss and not Elena! But then again, I've been playing Bonnie for six years… I've lived long enough to know that vampire or no, it's always best to get the witch on your side.

"I'm fine, just… it's hard…" I bite my lip and wipe at a not-there tear for accent, "Stefan's in there."

The look on Bonnie's face gives me pause. It's uneasy, or worried maybe, I can't quite tell… but she takes her hand from my arm and looks at me for a long moment as I try and replay if maybe I laid it on too thick. I'm just about to try and pull it back, maybe add an 'oh this is a strange situation' chuckle when Bonnie's hand finds my arm again.

She gives it a gentle squeeze and smiles at me – a big, happy, excited smile.

-Elena-

"Tell me!" I yell. I'm yelling. I've lost control of my temper and I'm yelling at my husband with my brother standing behind me and Caroline coming in the front door – it's like she's in Stefan's corner and Jeremy is in mine. "Tell me, Stefan! Say something!"

His voice is quiet, but full – I know he's having trouble keeping his cool demeanor, "What am I supposed to say, Elena?"

"Anything! Say something! Answer the question!" Stefan is looking at me, but not in my eyes – still, I can feel his burning hot skin from this distance. "Did you know it was Katherine? Because she's right, you know, surely you should have been able to tell it was her and not me!"

"Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?" He asks, his voice restrained – his neck flexed tight and his hands in tight fists at his side. "Ever? In seven years, Elena… after everything. Have I lied to you?"

No he hasn't. Not really… but he's never slept with another girl either. "Then you're saying there was no difference?" I shrug, disgusted by my tone of voice and the bitter taste that these words are leaving in my mouth. "Having sex with Katherine is just like making love to me, then?"

"You slept with Katherine – what the hell, Stefan?" Jeremy gasps from behind me just as Bonnie slips in behind Caroline – taking long, silent strides she makes her way over to my corner to view this fight.

Stefan looks over my shoulder – looking hard at my little brother, threatening almost – and it just makes me even more angry. I step into his glare and when his gaze finds my eyes, I lose a little bit of my strong-girl guise from the burn of his eyes. Stefan is raging now.

"I did not know it was her, Elena." He says, monotone – deep and raw.

I roll my eyes. It's uncontrollable… I do not believe him. Not right now. Not as angry as I am.

"You think I'm lying?" He huffs, shaking his head, licking his lips. "I tell you that it happened in the first place. I could have let it go. Instead I confess to you what happened because I love you enough that I don't want to deceive you, but you think I'd lie about this?"

I swallow hard – I know something terrible is about to escape me. My heart isn't beating in the right rhythm even. Before I even open my mouth, I regret what I'm about to say.

"You've never been good at control, Stefan… so who knows?" My smirky tone hits him and I watch his chest expand at the same time something in his eyes changes.

"Elena!" Caroline scolds me from behind my husband.

-Stefan-

I want to burn this house down. Truly, I feel every bit of a monster as I ever have… the need to annihilate.

I consider my options. Run them through very quickly, landing quickly on my decision and doing everything I can not to stare at Elena with this mixture of hurt and rage I'm feeling.

"Ok." I nod, bite at my top lip – praying that I won't strangle Jeremy as I move past Elena. "Ok, fine."

Stopping in front of Bonnie, my fist tingles for the impact against Jeremy's head, but I refuse to lose control… not now, not after Elena has used my darkest guilt against me. "Bonnie, spell me to tell the truth." I say through a clenched jaw.

Stepping back against the kitchen bar, Bonnie shakes her head, "No," Her hazel eyes dance around the room – to Elena, to Jeremy, back to me. "No, Stefan."

"You're scared of me?" I huff.

How did this happen? How did I end up in this place – where Elena believes me to be an adulterer and Bonnie thinks I would hurt her… after all these years?

"Katherine said-" She starts to say something but just hearing her name sets me off and I have to put my hand against the wall near Bonnie's head to keep from punching a hole through the sheetrock.

"I don't care what she said." It's almost a growl, the words that come out of me. "Do the spell, Bonnie."

"Stefan…" Bonnie shrinks away again.

I lean in closer and take her by the wrist, placing her hand on my head in the same way Elena told me Bonnie had done to Damon when she confronted him about her mother.

I'm only a few inches away from her face, my jaw so tight that it's sending sharp pains down my neck. It's a quiet, angry whisper – just loud enough for Bonnie to hear – when I say, "Do. It. Bonnie."

-Caroline-

I know that it was Stefan's idea, but when Bonnie finishes her latin jiberish, I'm so angry with her and Elena that I want to drag them both outside! It's a good thing Bonnie and I took Allie to Klaus – the instant Bonnie told me about Katherine's ridiculous lies, I knew I'd better get back here and that Allie should be no where near the sure to come explosion.

Looking at Stefan – rigid, raging – and Elena with her snarled face and crossed arms, I couldn't have been more right.

"Go on, Elena." Stefan is trying to stay cool-headed, forcing a calm tone, but that underlying anger is making his voice gravely despite his best attempts. "Ask me anything. I can't lie now."

I wonder if she can tell what this is doing to Stefan – if Elena understands what this means to him? The way she's called him out infront of all of us. I wonder if she realizes that going along with this – by interrogating him in this way – she's destroying their trust.

Holding my breath, praying Elena lets it go, I nearly scream at her when Elena says in a cool, monotone voice, "Did you know it was Katherine?"

Stefan's eyes cut to me for the slightest of seconds and I know I was right… she's ruined everything they had. He's done nothing but love her, cherish her, fight to the death for her, and yet she still does not trust him.

"No." Stefan responds flatly.

I see Bonnie and Elena both relax – happy with his answer – while Stefan and I seem to bow up a bit more at the mere fact that they needed him to be spelled in order to believe him!

"Did you enjoy it?" Elena asks, her voice catching everyone off guard. "Is it better with Katherine that with me?"

"Elena, stop…" I try, but Stefan answers her anyway and I don't know if he wants to answer or if the spell is forcing him.

"I did enjoy it. I thought it was you, Elena." Running his hand over his forehead roughly, Stefan pops his neck, then adds, "It's not better. It's… it's different."

Bonnie and I catch each other's gaze for a moment and I have to force myself not to say 'I told you so!' – Stefan would never rape anyone! Never. Ever. No. Way.

But once again, Elena's voice breaks the heavy silence.

"Different how?"

I huff loud, everyone's head turning towards me – everyone but Stefan… he's locked on Elena. "Seriously, Elena… you're going to do this here? Now? With everyone around?"

"He wanted this." Bonnie says, gesturing towards Stefan – flexed and still glaring at Elena.

"She talks. She says things to me." Stefan's voice hurts me… I can't see his face but the pain he's feeling is audible, yet Elena seems numb to it. "Katherine is dominating. Tells me what she wants me to do. Does what she wants to me."

"That's enough, Elena." I frown – so incredibly sorry that Stefan is going through this. When he looks back at me, I see the shame on his face – the disgust for himself.

"Stay out of it, Caroline." Bonnie snaps.

I laugh. "You're kidding me, right? You believed Katherine when she said Stefan raped her, Bonnie!"

Elena looks at me like I've slapped her – I should. I should slap her. – but Stefan looks down at the floor. I can't take it anymore and go to him, my best friend.

"She said what?" Elena gasps, looking to me, then Bonnie, then Stefan. "Stefan…"

For a moment, Stefan looks at me, his brow furrowed, his green eyes full of pain – his face is so telling of his pain that I actual feel it. I feel it in my stomach… I cannot imagine what he's going through.

"What, Elena? Do you need to hear me say it? Really?" He shrugs, defeated. "I did not rape Katherine."

"End this, Bonnie." I say through gritted teeth – more than willing to force my hand if needed. There will be no more interrogation.

Stefan doesn't look at Bonnie when she takes his head in her hands. I hate her. I hate Elena.

"How could you do this to him, Elena?" I ask. "It's Stefan! Stefan!"

She shakes her head, pushes her hair behind her ears with both hands before shoving them into her pockets. "I had to know…"

"You did know! He told you!" It's almost a shriek. I mean, everyone gave her a pass when she was compelled, but she's no longer suffering from memory loss. Surely she remembers every single time Stefan saved her life. Saved my life. Jeremy's life. Bonnie's life. Every time he put himself on the line for her wants, her needs, her desires, her wishes.

"Look. Damon sent us a message about some news and I've been really upset about it, okay?" Elena messes with her hair again, looks over at Stefan, now free of the spell. "Katherine tricked Stefan because she's trying to get pregnant and-"

Stefan interrupts her, "So now Katherine tricked me… at least were straight on that."

"Stefan…" Elena sighs, reaching a hand out to him. I almost miss how he gingerly moves away from her touch as I rack my brain for what Damon's news could be.

When it hits me, I blurt it out. "My mom hired Damon!" I smile like an idiot when I see their faces almost light up. "He needed a job to help him be a better qualified candidate for law school, so he talked to my mom and she's hired him to work as a deputy!"

My cheery tone and smiling face is so out of place, but I can't help it – I feel like I've just won a spelling bee or something!

Elena smiles at Stefan, "That's got to be it…", then tries to touch his arm again.

"Don't." Stefan moves away again, this time with much less slyness. "Don't touch me, Elena."

The room suddenly gets heavy… thick.

When Stefan gets angry, the entire atmosphere changes to fit his mood. I'm his best friend, I know him better than anyone – Even Elena apparently – and yet I still feel a bit alarmed, stepping back from him without even realizing it.

Elena smiles through her confused frown, "It's fine. Damon was probably wanting to tell you about his job…"

Stefan nods, licks at his lips, then looks over to Jeremy. "You and I need to talk, Jeremy. Very soon."

"About what?" Bonnie asks, and I wonder if she notices the strange look on Jeremy's face.

"Look, Elena, I understand that you're mad. Of course you're mad. I'm mad." Stefan shakes his hands at Elena. "But this was too far. If you can't trust me, then I don't know what we're doing here."

I'm pretty sure the four of us all stop breathing at the same time.

"Have I ever asked you those questions about when you slept with Damon?" Stefan shrugs, "Have I ever asked you to go through that? No. I would never ask you to do something like just to satisfy my curiosity…"

"I'm sorry…" Elena tries again, "It's just she came over here and she said-"

"I know. I was here, Elena." Stefan interrupts with a crude laugh. "Do you ever stop and wonder how some of the things you do make me feel? Have you ever considered putting me first?"

She huffs, blinks rapidly, "I don't know where this is coming from…" then looks to me and Bonnie and Jeremy as if she's suddenly embarrassed that we are watching.

Stefan catches it. "It was fine for them to be here when you questioned me, but not when I bring up something about you?"

"That's not fair, Stefan. I was angry!" Elena's voice raises in pitch, a key that she is getting upset, but Stefan continues.

"I am angry, Elena!" Stefan says through gritted teeth. "I'm angry and I'm tired of not being enough for you! I'm sick of the constant reminder that you do not love me the way I love you!"

"What? Stefan!" Elena's mouth gapes open for a moment, her eyes wide. "You know I love you!"

"Yea." He huffs, "You love me so long as I never make a mistake. So long as I walk the very thin line you've drawn… Elena. Elena, _I __**love**__ you_. I love you more than you can understand, but I can't go on like this."

"Stefan." Elena and I both say his name, at the same time, in short whispers.

"I love you. You own me." Stefan reaches out like he may touch Elena's face, but stops just short, dropping his hands at his side. "But I'm not perfect, Elena. I want to be. I want to be perfect for you. Caroline might be right, maybe that's his news… but if she's pregnant, then what?"

I watch Elena's mouth open, I wait for her to tell him that they'll figure something out, that they will work through it, but she says nothing… just silently shrugs.

Bonnie steps away from Jeremy, catching everyone's attention.

"Um. Elena." Bonnie frowns, "I.. I sensed it. Just now, outside… she's pregnant."

Elena changes – immediately she's different, digesting Bonnie's words – She seems callused, off-putting. Coiled and cold.

Stefan gives a sad, almost knowing smile, lacing his hands together in front of him. "You know, after Spain… when you slept with Damon, I never once considered ending things between us. Then in Miami." I don't realize it until later on that Stefan is spinning his wedding ring around on his ring finger as he talks. "It had only been four months… four months and you were engaged to him. It didn't change how I felt about you though. I loved you. No matter what. Through everything…"

"You loved me?" Elena's voice cracks. I feel like I should go to her. Or go to him. But I'm stuck… frozen and watching Stefan and Elena crumbling. "What does that mean? You loved me?"

"I can't do this, Elena." Stefan says softly, slipping off his ring. "It doesn't matter how much I love you, or how hard I try to love you in the way you need me too… because it's one-sided."

Elena's hand is shaking violently as she reaches out, meeting his steady hand and taking the ring from him.

When Stefan holds her hand for a moment too long, I feel a tear slip down my cheek. I cannot imagine what this must be doing to him. To her.

He turns away, headed towards the door, leaving the room silent.

"So that's it?" Elena calls to him, just before Stefan steps onto the porch. "It's over? We're finished?"

Facing away, Stefan turns in place and looks right at Elena – he looks at her for a long moment, then says in his graveled voice, "That's what I mean, Elena… you don't get it. You don't understand what it's like to love someone the way I love you… forever, no matter what… For me, you and I will always be unfinished."

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	16. Chapter 16

**CHAPTER 16 – THE REAPING**

-Damon-

She's half way up the stairs when I hear her call my name just as I'm just finishing up with my mental pep-talk, finally convinced that this cheap polyester uniform doesn't look that bad – I mean, if anyone can wear a Mystic Falls, VA PD uniform and really pull it off, it's me, right? Katherine is going to get a kick out of it! I'm fully prepared for a couple of 'night stick' jokes, maybe even a male-stripper reference, but honestly, I'm still pretty damn happy that Liz offered me the job.

Ok, maybe I was over-excited when I texted Stefan about the 'Big news', but I keep thinking – if Dad could see me now. I'm working on a degree with aspirations to be an attorney. I have a beautiful, incredibly sexy –slash- borderline psycho girlfriend. And, I am officially serving the public that he loved.

"Deputy Damon Salvatore," Katherine coos as my eyes leave the badge on my chest and I find her looking at me in the reflection of the full length mirror I've been standing in front of for some time now – working on my pep-talk and remembering my father. "Here to arrest me?" She smiles, looking me over as I turn to face her and do the same.

She is, as always, stunning. "There have been some allegations about you Ms. Katherine."

I see her eyes sparkle and can't help but smile. Ms. Katherine – she likes when I call her that, reminds her of when she found me in 1864 and taught me pretty much everything I know about sex… Katherine Pierce was to me what the internet must be for young men now days.

Coming to me with that sway in her hips, I feel little corny when I play along and put my hand on the 9mm on my belt, but I see it on her face that she's enjoying this foolish role play.

Slipping her arms around my neck, she whispers into my ear, "I have been naughty." And I immediately want her. I always want Katherine… but I have to go and can't be late for my first shift.

Pulling her against my body, I kiss below ear a few times then release her with a tease, "I'll bring the handcuffs home and you can confess your sins."

"You're leaving?" Katherine asks in a huff as I head towards the door.

"You thought I was wearing this for fun?"

"Wait, Damon…" Frowning, she sits on our bed, "I wanted to talk to you before…"

Before? Surely she's not going to give me some 'be careful, don't get killed' spill. "Katherine. Come on. It's Mystic Falls – nothing happens here anymore, not since I quit killing people." She rolls her eyes but I swear I see her almost smile – Katherine likes the bad boy idea she has about me, always has. She's the only person who appreciates my deviant side… and vice versa. I know she wants me to sit, but the best I'll do is come back and stand by her – I have to go and this is dumb. "Look, I promise I won't get a coffee burn or a paper cut."

Katherine gives a sweet grin, reaching out and taking my hand, looking up at me like… fuck I don't know, but I swear she's looks like Elena. I mean, I've seen Katherine in Elena a thousand times, but never in reverse – it's oddly unnerving. I feel a strange weight on my chest, a sickness in my gut when Katherine inhales to speak… I have no idea what she's about to say.

"I know. You can handle yourself, Damon, but… you've got a family to take care of now."

A family? I watch her bright eyes and her beautiful ruby-colored lips smiling up at me and for a long moment I think she's talking about Allie and lil'G, but then she rubs her flat stomach with her free hand.

"What?" I ask, my eyes stuck on her hand on her stomach. "What?!"

"We're having a baby, Damon." Katherine's voice is a so sweet that I can almost taste her words in the air that I'm hardly breathing. I'm stunned and shaking. "You're going to be a daddy, Damon."

Before I know it, Katherine is wrapped around me and I her, vined together and holding one another tightly – finally. Finally. Finally… I am the man who can give her what she wants. I'm going to be a father. Katherine is going to be a mother. We're having a baby. We're going to be a family.

Finally.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

-Stefan-

"…believe her! You did the right thing, Stefan!" Caroline has been talking for some time now, I catch Elena's name, my name. Katherine's name even, but I'm both numb and over-sensitive to all of my senses that I'm having difficulty listening to her and driving. I don't know how fast I'm driving, but I miss two stop signs, dropping a gear in the Infinity QX I've just purchased – testing it's 500 horsepower engine as I try to figure out where in the hell I'm going.

Where am I going?

The Salvatore House – no way, Katherine is probably there by now.

Back to Bonnie's – back to Elena? God, how I wish I could. But things are different now...

The apartment I had just finished leasing before I was bum-rushed by my wife and my darkest regrets? Maybe.

My thoughts are coming through in slow motion, oozing through my brain as the sunlight hurts my aching head and Caroline's ranting continues in a much too quick pace, "…raped her, I couldn't believe she'd say…" I just left Elena. I took off my ring and I left her. "…dropped Allie with him and we..." Katherine's pregnant! I'm both terrified of the baby growing inside of Katherine and, in equal measure, in love with it in the same way I've loved Allie and Grayson since their conception. I have to tell Damon.. "…she has no right to do that, Stefan! I'm so glad you stood up to…" Fucking Jeremy I swear to God, it took all I had not to sell him out.

Wait… she dropped Allie off with who? Damon? "What did you say?" I trust Damon, he'd never hurt Allie – but with Damon comes Katherine and she's already told me once that she's considered kidnapping them.

"I said it was about time you told Elena off! She's taken you for granted way too long if you ask me!" Caroline's voice is loud, piercing my eardrums and I have to force myself not to grimace – my head is pounding! "She's so used to you-"

"No, Caroline." I shake my head, I'm nearly yelling when I add, "About Allie. What did you say about Allie?"

"Oh, we took her to the library - Klaus has her."

"WHAT!?" If Katherine is the last person in the world I would want Allie to be alone with, Klaus is a very close second.

I'm dropping the engine into second and laying hard on the brakes, turning the SUV into a full 180* as Caroline gasps my name and holds onto the console and door handle, her voice barely audible over the squealing tires and revving of the motor as I hit the gas.

"You left her with Klaus?!"

"You're going to get us both killed, Stefan!" Caroline hollers back at me. Ignoring her, I grab my phone from the cup holder and start looking for Klaus' phone number. "Would you watch the road!? She's fine! She's with Klaus."

I don't know if I want to laugh or break the steering wheel from the drive shaft – she's with Klaus! "That's the problem!" I say, pulling over to the side of the road in a quick, jerky stop.

Caroline gives a heavy, dramatic sigh and grabs my phone from my hand. "Oh you have got to be kidding me, Stefan! You of all people!"

"Give me the phone, Caroline." I growl through gritted teeth, but Caroline knows I would never hurt her and continues to scroll through my phone.

"Ok Bonnie I get, sort of, I mean she's never been the greatest at judging people, _obviously_, and Elena even… but you afraid of Klaus?" She hands me the phone, with Klaus' number ready to dial I should add, then says in an aggravated tone, "Everyone gets a second chance but Klaus – I get it."

I laugh sarcastically, "He killed his own family!" He had a second chance and that's what he did with it. I get that he wanted to hurt them for hurting Caroline, but she was a vampire, she healed! Klaus killed his human brother, Elijah, and his human sister, Rebekah! It's all different now that we are humans with human lives and with real wounds and real time-spans.

"He told you why, Stefan!" Caroline gasps, looking at me with huge, round eyes. "He thought you'd understand!"

"I do, I did! I've wanted to kill Damon a hundred times for hurting Elena, but I never could… he's my brother no matter how many times he temporarily hurt her, so as much as I understand where Klaus was coming from – wanting to hurt them for hurting you – it's not th-"

She cuts me off, "Hurting me? Is that what he said?" We're both silent for a moment as I look at her confused and she looks at me like I'm transparent. "Stefan," Caroline takes my hand, "When Elijah and Rebekah had Allie, they noticed that Allie is _special." _I feel myself tense – that automatic protectiveness that steels my skin and flows into my muscles whenever Allie's 'abilities' are mentioned. "Klaus could hear them – the entire four years, he could hear. Before you and Elena showed up at the mansion and told them about Elena taking the fig powder, Rebekah and Elijah had planned to let her go with Elena and kill you, then go after Allie."

Instinctually I say, "There's nothing _special_ about Allie, she's just a girl."

Caroline frowns at me, releasing a heavy sigh, "It's okay, Stefan… we know. And Klaus knows what she is."

-Allie-

…_Edward thought about everything that had happened to him in his short life. What kind of adventures would you have if you were in the world for a century? The old doll said, "I wonder who will come for me this time. Someone will come. Someone always comes. Who will it be?" "I don't care if anyone comes for me," said Edward. "But that's dreadful," said the old doll. "There's no point in going on if you feel that way. No point at all. You must be filled with expectancy. You must be awash in hope. You must wonder who will love you, whom you will love next." "I am done with being loved," Edward told her. "I'm done with loving. It's too painful." "Pish," said the old doll. "Where is your courage?" "Somewhere else, I guess," said Edward…_

I don't know how Mr. Klaus knows that I can hear him, but I like that I don't have to pretend like I can't.

He does a good job at the character voices without talking and I like listening to his thoughts as he reads The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. Mommy doesn't like Mr. Klaus very much and Daddy doesn't like that he likes him, but I don't understand why. He's very nice.

He asked me, without speaking, if I was upset about something, and I told him, outloud, that yes I was. Grayson is upset and wants to go home. Uncle Jeremy is scared Daddy is going to tell on him. Aunt Bonnie thinks my daddy hurt Aunt Kathy and Aunt Caroline is very mad at both of them for that. Mommy and Daddy have been angry for a long time now, and even though I can't tell them that I know, I wish they'd figure out that I can hear them and stop being so mean to each other.

Mr. Klaus told me that Daddy and Mommy are going to be okay.

I hope he's right. I don't know how I would explain to Grayson why Mommy and Daddy don't live together if they get a divorce like some of my friends parents at home have.

I guess it's kind of cool that they have lots of toys and two bedrooms – one at their mommy's house and one at their daddy's – but I'd rather just have one bedroom and one house where both of my parents live.

_Should I read some more, love?_ Mr. Klaus asks, smiling at me. _You look a bit tired out._

I yawn and shake my head no, "I'm fine. Please read more. I like to hear you."

I feel his feelings change to a warm happiness when he understands what I'm saying. When Mr. Klaus starts reading again, this time in French, I close my eyes and listen to his words and feel sad for him. Mr. Klaus must feel like the rabbit from the story, Edward – alive for centuries and never loved.

That's okay. Aunt Caroline and I love him, and his little baby boy will love him too.

I listen for a while, until Daddy is near and I know he's upset – so I get up from Mr. Klaus' side and go sit at one of the small chairs next to the bean bag he's on and wait for Daddy to come up the elevator and find us. The closer he gets, the more I can feel his sadness.

I guess two bedrooms will be okay.

-Elena-

I'm moving silently in the dark, stepping backwards out of the room Grayson is sleeping in, as I shut the door and plead with the doorknob to not make a sound loud enough to wake him – he's been upset ever since he woke up from his nap. I've tried everything! Nursing, a bottle, pureed sweet potatoes, a bath, singing, swinging, burping, rocking, TV, a walk in the stroller… literally everything. After hours of failed attempts at calming him in between my own breakdowns and arguing with Bonnie and Jeremy, I think he's finally worn himself out with the temper tantrums and fit throwing!

I'm exhausted.

I don't know why I don't go to my room or to the couch, instead I slip down the wall next to Grayson's room and sit in the dark hallway.

From the clinking and scraping coming from the dining room, I'm guessing Bonnie and Jeremy are eating the chicken and rice casserole she's made… going on about the day as if nothing is out of the ordinary. As if she didn't believe Stefan had raped Katherine. As if Stefan's wedding ring is not weighing down the pocket of my jean shorts like a lead brick. As if Katherine is not pregnant with my husband's child.

Before I can even attempt stopping them, tears are slipping down my face and into my hands for the umpteenth time today.

What have I done?

I was wrong – I can live with Katherine having Stefan's child. I can figure out a way… I just want Stefan to come home to me. My whole life has fallen apart. My insecurities have finally done it – ruined me in his eyes. Stefan has always been too good for me… I guess I always knew that he'd figure it out some day.

Lost in my thoughts and drowning in tears, I barely notice that the sounds from the dining room fall quiet, but I'm engulfed with our frequency! It steals my already short breath and quenches the incredible longing for it that I've been dealing with since he walked out of the door.

I'm barely to my feet when Stefan, carrying a sleeping Allie, turns into the hallway and our eyes catch in the darkness – crushing me with a million emotions.

Like a deer in the headlights – beautiful evergreen, perfectly shaped and honest headlights – I cannot move. I watch him go into the room I'd just left Grayson in, stare in amazement at how his body moves so fluidly, silent in the dark room, then quickly back to the hallway – ignoring me as he shuts the door, then goes to the room we share… shared? I don't know, yet.

"Stefan?" My voice gives away my very stressful and upsetting day away if nothing else does, though I'm sure I must have red eyes and messy hair, that swollen face look one gets from sobbing all day. "I'm sorry."

He doesn't stop, picking up his bag and slipping it over his shoulder. "I know, I'm sorry too." Those telling green eyes of his find mine again and I just want to fold into him and hold him. "But I can't be here. In this house." He adds, slipping past me and into the hallway, heading towards the door.

Stefan is tall, with long legs and a long stride, so keeping up with his quick pace takes effort and I nearly run into him when he comes to an abrupt stop on the porch, his feet seemingly reluctant to step off.

"You don't have to go." I try, putting my hands lightly on his very warm body – one on his arm, the other on his back. "Let me come with you."

I kiss the back of his arm, nuzzle my face against his shoulder – the steal like tension of his body seems to increase from my touch, breaking my heart.

"I need to go…" He sighs, hanging his head. "I just don't want to leave them."

_Them._ Not me. He's not worried about leaving me, it's the kids. Of course, of course I understand that! But it still stings, badly.

"Then stay." I know I'm begging him, my hands fisting in the cotton of his tee shirt. "Stay, let's talk."

I think he's considering it, his eyes closed and brow furrowed low, but that tension never ceases, even as he turns to face me and takes my face in his hands.

"Why did you do that, Elena?" Stefan's voice is soft, a sad look in his eyes as he asks a question that almost sounds like an admission of my wrong doing, of his anger. "I would have answered any question you would have asked, but why like that, Elena? Why would you do that to me?"

In this light, near dusk with a warm amber sky, Stefan's green eyes are deep and dark, accusing and truthful. I did this to us. It wasn't Katherine. It wasn't his mistake in identity. It was me.

My eyes pool with tears yet again and I take his wrists in my hands, praying that he won't let me go, that his hands will not leave my face. "I'm so sorry, Stefan. I'll fix it. I swear I'll fix this. I love you."

I think, for the slightest of moments when he looks down at my mouth and leans towards me, that he's going to kiss me – right here on the porch at sunset, Stefan Salvatore is going to kiss me and all of this will be over with – we'll start fresh tomorrow. I even close my eyes and lift my face a bit! It's a crushing disappointment when I feel his soft, warm kiss on my forehead and his thumbs move up and down my cheeks just before he lets me go and takes that hesitant step off of the porch… leaving me.

"Stefan…" I don't know if I say his name loud enough for him to hear, either way he doesn't stop. "Where are you going? Will you be back?" I cry, crossing my empty arms tightly around my very empty chest.

With each step Stefan takes away from me I feel more empty than the last.

He tosses his bag across the console and into the passenger seat, his eyes on the driver's seat in front of him as he says, "I'm going to stay in the apartment I leased for us in town, you should stay here. We'll figure out the living arrangements tomorrow."

I don't know why, but I kind of laugh with joy knowing that he's not catching some last-minute flight to Italy. "You aren't leaving?"

I guess he knows my thoughts, as he gives me a sad smile just as he slips into the truck, shutting the door and saying through the open window, "How could we work through this with me in Naples?"

It's not much – this tiny sliver of hope he's given me, but I grasp onto it like it's my only saving grace as the love of my life leaves me standing in the dark with his ring in my pocket and my soul alone and cold without our gravity.

-Caroline-

Klaus is sitting on the couch, reading some children's book that he picked up with Allie while at the library, while I make a quick stir-fry. I'm probably paranoid, but being in this furnished apartment feels like I'm intruding in someone else's place… someone other than Stefan. It just feels odd. Even the cookware seems to belong to someone else, someone who may be home at any minute and find my husband in his PJ bottoms and tee shirt drinking a glass of sherry from their stemware, while I bobble around barefoot in their kitchen.

When the door opens, I nearly jump out of my skin – releasing a huge sigh when it's Stefan and his luggage and not the owner of this apartment.

"Everything go ok, mate?" Klaus asks without looking. Stefan stops just inside the door and looks at me in a way that tells me he's regretting his decision, considering giving up on it all together.

"Yea. Fine."

No way am I letting him go back to her without some serious groveling on her part – and I mean, some real-true fighting for him!

"Come on, Stef," I smile, holding out one of the plates that I'd washed for our dinner seeing as how I have no idea how long they'd been sitting in the cabinet. "I made dinner." I see him step back – just slightly, just enough to tell me he's having a very difficult time sticking to his guns… he wants to go back to her. "Come on, eat. Take a minute." I smile, hoping he understands what I'm suggesting.

I see his chest heave with a large exhale and know he does – of course he does. Stefan and I started off on a very strange foot back when I was playing mean girl and he was playing regular guy… it didn't take long for us to figure out that he and I were the most true allies that each other had.

I'm looking up at him, hoping he knows that this is right thing for him to do – and he's looking down at me with a worried look in his eyes, when Klaus stands and says, "Yes, let's eat. Then, if you like, we can discuss your little demigod."

"My… demigod?" Stefan turns to him, then back to me.

"She's truly something, Stefan." Klaus smiles, lifting a couple spoonfuls of the stir-fry onto his plate. "I'd never actually seen a demigod before – half God, half human – but it all fits, don't you think?"

Stefan doesn't say anything, turning slightly to the side – defensive like – his fingers wiggling a bit at his sides.

Klaus isn't trying to sound threatening, it's just how he speaks! I decide I'd better step in.

"Klaus can tell you a lot about demigod's… the mind reading, the future telling abilities, and more!" I smile, hoping that Stefan can see that we – Klaus and I – are only wanting to help, nothing more. "Did you know she can probably do the same spells that Bonnie and Gia can… she's very powerful."

Stefan is still skeptical, I see it on his face as he watches Klaus take a seat at the round kitchen table.

"How did you know?" He asks, almost accusatory. "How did you know about her abilities?"

I couldn't have picked a better question for Stefan to ask! I lean back against the kitchen counter and smile to myself as I try and picture the scene of the story I've heard Klaus tell many times – he's quite taken with Allie.

"I spent four years in a box, Stefan." Klaus sips his wine, "Thanks to you two, I had four years in a dirty clothing and in the dark, able to feel and smell and hear and taste – I just could not move, I could not speak aloud. Can you imagine that? Four years without being able to scratch your nose, or adjust your body weight. It was excruciating, truly. When I overheard Elijah telling Rebekah about Kol – about what you'd done to him, I was proud of their plans. Very happy that he'd come around and made a move! In the midst of my joy I'd come out of my haze a bit and was very uncomfortable – everything hurt, everything itched. I can't explain, but trust me it was horrid. I tried for hours to calm myself back to the point of numbness, hours of trying that led to only more pain when suddenly the coffin opened - my face was filled with light. Bright, warm, yellow light! Then a little, high pitched voice says to me, 'I'm going to rub your nose, but please don't bite me, sir." Klaus laughs – like he always does at this point – a big, deep stomach laugh as he remembers his first interaction with Allie when she rubbed his itching nose with a tissue. Cutting my eyes to Stefan, I can literally see his body relaxing as he watches Klaus _the big bad_ – ugh – speak so lovingly about his daughter. "They'd closed her up in a room with me and she would listen to my thoughts and respond – she even told me stories! Your little four year old child told me stories and gave me a sip of water and brushed my hair out of my face! And it was in that room that I decided that no harm would come to her at my hands, or the hands of my family. I didn't know what I was going to do… warn her if nothing else, but I had to do something."

Half smiling, Stefan says, "Then you woke as human… and you did something."

It's almost visible – the bond forming between Allie's father and Allie's greatest supporter, my husband and my best friend.

With a nod, Klaus says, "And I did whatever I had to do."

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	17. Chapter 17

**CHAPTER 16 – THE REAPING**

-Elena-

"I don't get it, Elena." Bonnie sighs, frustrated with me and my still sour attitude, I'm sure. "He's your husband…" She's wrangling Lola into a cute cotton dress while I hold Liam, everyone nearly ready to leave for The Salvatore house. For the big 'we're pregnant' dinner.

I have that same feeling one gets when they're about to get in trouble, or fall off a bridge, or maybe when they're strapped to a seat in an airplane in full nose-dive – I mean, my stomach is in my throat and my gut is knotted like never before. It could be attributed to lots of things – I haven't ate all day. I haven't slept well now that I'm sleeping alone. The fact that everyone knows the truth but Damon… everyone has agreed to stay quiet about until Stefan can find out if he is the father or not, but I hate this for Damon and I'm terrified of any one of us slipping up and Katherine taking her revenge. So it could be lots of things… but I know the truth.

I'm scared to see Stefan. Terrified, maybe.

I'm scared to be placed right next to Katherine and for him to look at us and think, _they aren't so different afterall._

I mean, it's true... I just hate to know that Stefan is now aware of my state of disgrace. For so many years I've prided myself in being the good one – the faithful one – the one Stefan could find solace with – the one to love him forever, for always… I cheated on him with his brother. I failed at loving him. I betrayed his trust. In front of everyone, I tore into him with his deepest regrets, with his darkest afflictions.

My kind, gallant, wonderful husband was cut to his knees by my running off at the mouth.

I haven't seen Stefan since the night he brought Allie back to Bonnie's… we've spoke on the phone – a few times a day he'll call to check on the kids, or I'll make-up some reason to call him – but it's all very distant, cold. He's got this wall up. It's been years since Stefan has been anything less than open with me and now, that mysterious, hard-to-read guy that I met in the graveyard when I was seventeen is back. When I try to talk about us, I get vague responses. If I attempt an apology, or even start to beg him to forgive me, Stefan finds a reason to get off the phone or change the subject.

I've hurt him – he doesn't trust me.

That depressing thought trails through me and quivers my voice as I say, "But it's been a week since I've seen him… eight days, actually." I swallow hard and adjust Liam on my lap to play off my odd tone of voice, "And he's so upset with me, Bon."

I'm not mad at her anymore – atleast I'm trying not to be – so when she rolls her eyes at me and gives me that _you're being ridiculous _look, I don't buck.

"This is Stefan we're talking about, Elena." Bonnie tries, "He loves you so much and he's an amazing guy. To be honest, I'm surprised he's held out for this long. I guarantee you, by the end of the night the two of you will be back to normal and making out in his old bedroom."

When she laughs, I give a laugh too, but in the back of my mind I'm wondering why it is that she thinks so highly of Stefan now, but eight days ago she was ready to inform me that he'd forced himself of Katherine. I know what she's told me – about the bruises and the way Katherine told the story, crying and sobbing and claiming to not want to push the issue because she knew _Stefan didn't mean to hurt her._ And I guess I can see how the finger marks around her neck could sell the tale… if it had been anyone other than Stefan… I mean, that is ridiculous. Stefan raping anyone…

"Please tell me you all about ready?" Jeremy calls from the living room just before I lose control of my tongue and ask her about her sudden change in opinion about Stefan.

Bonnie calls back as she slips the twins' diaper bag on one shoulder and sits Lola on the other hip.

"So, how do we look?" She asks, giving a little pose in her dark blue sweater dress that goes almost too well with the outfits she's put the twins in. "I mean, if we've got to celebrate their pregnancy, we can at least look amazing."

"You girls look great!" I give my best enthusiastic smile as I try not to lose my balance and fall to the floor.

Bonnie notices and takes my hand. My best friend. My oldest friend. But she had no idea what I'm going through...

Still, it helps when she says, "We'll go, we'll drink, we'll eat. And by the time that little skank serves dessert you'll have that ring back on his finger and you can walk out of the house knowing that you are, and always will be, Stefan's choice."

The ride is pretty silent less the twins and Grayson babbling and Allie singing along with the Taylor Swift playlist that Caroline downloaded for her before she and Klaus went back to Dallas last weekend. By the time Jeremy turns onto the highway that leads to the Salvatore Boarding house at the edge of town, the sun is low in the sky and my thumb is tapping away at a text message to Stefan.

Elena: Allie is excited to see you.

I read it about five times before deciding to delete, retyping,

Elena: The kids are SO excited to see you.

I almost hit send – I mean, that's a good ice breaker, right?

Knowing Stefan, he'll love to hear that, then he'll respond with something sweet like, _I can't wait to see them. I miss them. I miss you…_

I want him to miss me. God you have no idea how badly I want to just send this and wait for his always-perfect responses, but I delete it and type out a much more truthful message.

Elena: I miss you and even though I know we aren't on the greatest terms right now, I can't wait to see you

I read it once and feel lighter immediately – hitting send as a smile comes across my face and that old saying about the truth setting you free comes to mind.It takes Stefan a few minutes to respond, and I read his text message just as I hear the tires begin into the gravel of the Salvatore driveway.

Stefan: Let's find some time to get away tonight. Just you and me, okay?

Like a school girl, my face flushes and a smile so wide that it aches my cheeks comes to my face as I hear Bonnie's silly premonition from earlier about Stefan and I making out in his old bedroom replay in my head.

-Damon-

This over-protective thing. It has nothing to do with Elena.

I guess what I mean is, it has nothing to do with how I used to feel for Elena – back when she was a girl up for grabs and not my brothers wife and the mother to my niece and nephew.

The overwhelming urge to punch Stefan in the face, more than once if I'm being honest, that urge is coming from how much I love Allie and Grayson, from the way I feel about my sister-in-law now, from the plans of having a big family between my brother and me… from the hundreds of times I can remember our father telling us about his expectations of us as men.

Make a good living for your family.  
Take care of your responsibilities.  
Do not go outside of your marriage.

Simple. Straight forward. Pretty fucking easy to follow. Yet, here I am, listening to Stefan tell me that he's been staying in a furnished apartment in town while Elena and the kids are at Bonnie's… all because he cheated on Elena.

It doesn't sit right – Stefan cheating… Stefan cheating on Elena!

He's being pretty tight-lipped, but he brought it up so I can't help but think he wants to talk about it.

"You did what?" I sound angry. I am angry – what in the hell was he thinking – but more than anything, I'm not fully believing what I'm hearing.

Repeating himself in the same dejected tone as before, "I slept with someone else."

I can't control my facial expression – my eyebrows wrinkling up as a hmph comes from my mouth, "With who?" I ask in a yell.

I watch Stefan shake his head, bit his lips, rub his forehead – really doing just about everything he can to avoid answering me, so I shove him once. Pretty hard, with just one arm… he takes a couple of steps back to steady himself and looks me over in the same way he always does – looking for an opening to strike back.

"With who, Stefan? Who was it that seemed so irresistible that you cheated on your wife?" I shove him again – harder this time.

"It doesn't matter." He says through a tightly closed mouth, glaring at me but not fighting back. Stefan's always been good at taking a beating when he knows he deserves one.

It doesn't matter… that's his answer. Something about his dull response pisses me off. It mattered enough for him to break the one fucking rule we weren't supposed to break! It mattered enough for Stefan to cheat on Elena after everything that he and I went through for us to get to this place –this life.

Before I can stop myself, I've grabbed him by his black shirt, "Oh it fucking matters, Stefan. Don't tell me you screwed up your entire life for nothing – for someone that doesn't matter!"

He can't even look at me! I'm inches infront of his broody face and Stefan's eyes are looking somewhere over my shoulder, his brow low and jaw clenched. I guess he can tell that I'm about to lay into him as he finally says, "It was no one – just a one night stand. A mistake…"

I can hear his regret in his voice – all thick with emotion and very Stefan from years past. His phone buzzes from his pocket at nearly the same time that Katherine steps into the den, nervously letting us know that everyone has just arrived.

"Everything okay in here, boys?" She asks as I release Stefan and toss back the rest of my whiskey.

I am incredibly pissed off, disappointed, hostile even, knowing what I know… maybe even a little proud that I'm no longer the worst of the Salvatore brothers – but more than anything, I don't fully believe it. I've heard it straight from his mouth, but Stefan cheating on Elena… I don't know, it's unbelievable – suspect, almost.

-Katherine-

I didn't even have to ask him, Stefan knew what I was glaring at him about as Damon went to get the door – with a quick shake of his head Stefan told me what I needed to know, that he did not tell Damon about us… about what I did. Still, I know his mind much too well and Stefan needs a reminder – when he leaves the dinner table to take Allie to his old bedroom to lay down, I wait a few minutes to make sure nothing looks suspicious, then begin collecting the plates and asking who all wants dessert.

I have to give it to Elena, she's done really well tonight. She forced a believable smile when Damon made the announcement! I guess she's more focused on getting Stefan back… fine, whatever it takes to keep her mouth shut. Bonnie on the other hand has been a real bitch – very cold. I can't help but laugh inside when I consider how she would react if she knew about Jeremy's hand in all of this. Maybe one day I'll tell her just for the satisfaction of seeing her fall apart.

"Bon, do you want dessert?" I ask sweetly – one day I'll break her down, but not tonight.

When she gives me a very rude shake of her head, I catch Damon frowning at her and decide I'd better think up some reason I can tell him she and I are fighting.

"Do you want some help with anything, Kat?" Jeremy asks in a very polite tone and I move between him and Elena – from his easy tone no one would ever guess that as I pick up Elena's plate and Jeremy's empty beer bottle, his big Gilbert hand his slipping up between my knees.

I don't really give a damn about Jeremy… none of the Gilbert's really – but Jeremy is going to get me caught and himself killed if he doesn't back off, so with a light, "I've got it", I step away quickly, but not too quickly, and head into the kitchen.

-Stefan-

What I would give to be able to sleep like a child again… with the exception of Liam, the kids are all asleep and I've just tucked Allie into my old bed when my phone buzzes. I'm sure it's Elena – after our texts from earlier about slipping away sometime before dinner is over – but I wait until I'm in the hall before checking. It's good though, because when I see it's from Katherine, an unintentional groan escapes from my mouth.

Katherine: We need to talk. I'm in the kitchen… hurry.

I try to look nonchalant as I pass the dining room and I almost make it, but just before I'm out of sight I feel her eyes on me… and all over again I feel like I'm betraying Elena. Sneaking off to meet Katherine. Even with the gravity pulling me towards Elena, pushing me away from Katherine, I stay on course and when I step into the kitchen and find her waiting on me with her hand resting on her stomach – I feel resentment for Katherine and enchanted by my growing child inside of her.

I stop in my tracks. My eyes on her hand caressing her still-flat belly. I don't know how long I stand there, but by the time Katherine says, "I never meant for this to happen to you – to you and Elena." I'm light-headed from locking my knees for too long.

Inhaling deeply, I rest against the counter to steady myself. "You got what you wanted, Katherine." My voice sounds tired – I am tired. "What happens in the background has never mattered to you."

"Stefan," Katherine touches my arm with her free hand, a light, soft touch as I inhale that same lavender scent that both calms me and tortures me. "I care about you. I always have."

I wish I could tell you that I somehow know she's lying – Katherine is the best actress I've ever seen. In more than a century and half, Katherine Pierce still holds the title of greatest thespian of all time. Looking right into her eyes, even when she steps a bit closer to me, I can't see any sign of her not being honest.

After a long moment of me remembering things about her I should not be thinking about in this situation, my curiosity gets the best of me and I ask in a low whisper, "Is it mine?"

Giving me that smile – the one where she looks up at me through her lashes with her head tilted slightly down, I cannot tell you that the thought of tasting her shiny lips did not cross my mind. I can resist anything, everything… but at that moment, with Katherine's very familiar _I have you right where I want you_ grin and that question hanging in the air, I do not think I would be able to resist her if she tried.

"Stefan," She giggles my name, sliding her touch down my arm, taking my hand in hers. "Do you want to touch it?"

-Elena-

Dinner actually went pretty well – who knew Katherine could cook a four course meal and still manage to look so perfectly put together! Ugh.

After just a few moments of being around Stefan, I began to feel really silly for being nervous about seeing him. I guess I was brave after my truthful text message, so as soon as I saw him I just walked right up and hugged him like it was no big deal. Just me, Elena, his wife, hugging her warm, handsome husband in the very same hallway that our first time together really picked up pace – God it felt so good to hold him. It felt SO good to surprise him! In a matter of seconds our frequency went from a strange, unnerved tension to that chest-pressure, slow, warm-water soothing feeling that I crave. After eight days away from him, from our gravity, even the smell of Stefan Salvatore seemed rare.

We talked a bit over dinner – shared a couple of smiles… Stefan never looks anything less than gorgeous. Sunlight, firelight, moon light… whatever, Stefan always has this soft glow to his perfect olive skin, mesmerizing nude pink lips, and what I can only describe as a confident-flirt in his beautiful emerald eyes. So even though we didn't get to talk much with the kids keeping most everyone's attention, I got to look at him from across the table – if you've ever been near my husband, the you know just how enjoyable having him in your sight is!

Sorry – Excuse my rambling about Stefan. I'm just feeling so hopeful, you know… Anyway, Allie's presence kept the conversation pretty light and everyone managed to dote on the kids long enough to get through the salad, the soup, and chicken cordon bleu – but now that the babies are all asleep, it's beginning to feel awkward.

I'm probably being paranoid, but I felt a strange sensation between Stefan and I when he passed by earlier. At first, I thought it was nothing, but the longer I sat there and listened to Bonnie and Jeremy trying to make small talk while I did my best to avoid making eye contact with Damon, I decided I should check it out. He's been in the kitchen with Katherine for a few minutes now – maybe he needs some back up and I could definitely use some space from Damon.

-Stefan-

"Just answer me, Katherine." I pull my hand from hers, step back a bit. This woman and her head games… "Is the baby mine?"

Like a façade falling from her, Katherine rolls her eyes and tosses her long curls back – that sweet smile on her face and the beckoning from her eyes disappears and the real Katherine Pierce can be seen, all because I resisted her. Stepping back, moving away, taking my hand from hers – she expected me to give in and when I didn't she lost her poker face.

I feel Elena – our frequency – before I hear her voice say my name, "Is everything okay?"

She's so beautiful – I can't explain to you how she and Katherine can be so similar in appearance and yet, Katherine's beauty affects me in a superficial way – only tied to memories of when I believed she was something different. While the sight of Elena actually makes me ache inside – when her dark, endless brown eyes find mine, I feel this rush of love for her… for a long moment we stand there looking at one another while Katherine clatters around with some of the china, but the silence between Elena and I is the kind of silence that means everything… a wordless communication shared by only those have a connection like we share.

I love her.

Just as I feel my legs begin to flex – our gravity pulling me, pushing me to Elena –Katherine's timing is perfect, or terrible – I'm not sure which. "He was just asking me if the baby is his."

Her coolly delivered words steal Elena's eyes from mine – she watches Katherine, but not her face. As Katherine collects a dish from the refrigerator, gathers a few small plates, Elena's gaze is directly on her stomach – her child… possibly my child. When Katherine notices, that smirk comes to her face and I hate her more than I ever have.

"Don't stare, Elena. Didn't one of your mother's teach you manners?" Katherine's voice is simply infuriating me and as I watch her shove the plates into Elena's torso as she passes, my fists tighten at my sides as I remind myself that I cannot hurt her. She's human. I cannot hurt her. She's pregnant…

My entire body is tensed, flexed, my jaw hurting from the gritting of my teeth – "Stefan," Elena says my name and just like that, instantly, I begin to calm. "Let it go. I'm fine." She smiles and I start breathing again even though I can sense Elena is not fine. She's scared and she's upset – and like me, she's terrified to believe that Katherine and I may be connected forever.

Elena knows the power she has over me – both physically and emotionally, it's one of the reasons I am so hurt by what she put me through last weekend – but in this moment, her smile, her voice, the gentle shrug she gives when she looks down at the plates in her hands and tells me to come back to the dining table… right now is one of those hundreds of times that I am so glad that Elena knows what she does to me.

Times like these, she's the only person in the world who can save me from myself.

Elena leaves me in the kitchen and I take a moment to get myself back together – gulping a glass of water, then a glass of bourbon to ease me back down a bit quicker. By time I make it to the table, taking my seat across from Elena and next to Bonnie, Katherine is handing Elena a plate of some kind of cake.

"Here, Stef…" Bonnie smiles, passing a fresh glass of wine my way.

I don't know I just cannot let this one go – believing that I raped Katherine. I could understand why Bonnie ruined me in Elena's compelled memories… I even understood back when they were in high school and she basically shunned Elena for being with me – a vampire. But this, this is different. So when I smile back, I can feel it not really reaching my eyes even though I try to put it off as a genuine grin.

I am no actor by any means.

"Stefan didn't get any." Damon nods towards me as he cuts into the cake and shovels a large piece into his mouth.

I shake my head, "I'm fine." Picking up my wine glass, I try a joke, "this is plenty dessert for me."

"That one's for him." Jeremy points to a piece sitting in the middle of the table.

Without hesitation, Bonnie takes the plate from near the spring-flower centerpiece. "I'll eat it too!" She giggles. "Screw the diet."

"Oh no you don't!" Katherine laughs with everyone, making her way around the table, taking the plate from Bonnie before she can start her second piece. "We've worked way too hard to get that baby weight off of you, Bon."

"You've got to try it, brother." Damon mumbles through a full mouth. "It's one of mother's old recipes. She would make it during the holidays, remember?"

Okay. I'm not one for sweets, but it's been more than a hundred and seventy years since I've ate anything made from a recipe of my mother's. I give in immediately – saddened from missing her like I used to when I was a boy and excited about trying the cake. I wish I could say I remember, but I was hardly six years old when she died and the memories I have of her are very broken – more like photographs.

Nodding to Damon, I agree, but say, "Let Bonnie have that one. I can get another." And start to ask Elena to cut a piece for me since she's nearest the dish. Before I can even open my mouth I feel Katherine's fingernails scratch against the back of my neck and her hand slip between my shoulder blades – the sensations run through me and straighten my spine and posture.

"Oh no, Stefan, it's fine." She says as she sits the plate in front of me, "eat this one…" Something about her voice brings my eyes to meet hers and I immediately regret it. There's that look, that victorious grin on her ruthless, beautiful face as she delivers two duplictic words in a sweet, cruel tone, "…it's yours."

-Elena-

Stefan looks at me just as her words settle into my ears, just as their meaning really rings in my head.

I know what I should do here – I know what the loving, caring, no-matter-what-happens wife would do. I should smile at him. I should reach across this table and take his now trembling fingers in my hand and look him in the eyes and silently say _it's okay. We'll make it through this. I love you, Stefan._

Why then do I ignore what my brain is telling me to do and stare at the chocolate cake instead? I can feel Stefan's eyes on me, I can feel our frequency and sense his need to know that I am okay… why can I not look up at him? Why am I feeling so angry at him all over again!?

I cannot believe this! I knew it was possible – for weeks now I've known – but hearing said in such a coy tone infront of my entire family, I'm so embarrassed! I'm mortified that everyone knows that Stefan had sex with Katherine! I'm disgusted by the thoughts in my head of how their child will look like a sibling to our children! It takes all the self-control I have not to stand up from the table and leave all together! He should be thankful I'm still sitting here! Stefan should be thanking God that I haven't sold him out to his brother! Do you know what Damon will do when he finds out? When he finds out that not only did his brother sleep with Katherine and get her pregnant, he also went along with keeping it a secret! Damon is going to flip!

I'm lost in my own thoughts – this nightmare come to life night is finally winding down and Katherine uses the pregnant card to get out of cleaning up. She's too tired to clean up… she's going to bathe and get some rest for their growing baby! Oh God just shut up! Just shut up, Katherine! I'm screaming at her in my head but smiling at her as she tells everyone goodnight and Stefan's heavy green gaze is still on me – weighing me down.

I can see him typing on his phone so when my cell buzzes more than six times, I know it its messages from him but I ignore them. I just can't right now. Not tonight.

I make it all the way to the car without speaking again – finally opening my mouth to tell Damon which carseat is Grayson's as he is carrying my sleeping son while Stefan has Allie, Bonnie has Liam, Jeremy has Lola, and I have all the bags of take-alongs.

I've almost escaped – nearly free of him and that damn gravity – but just as I move to get in the SUV, I feel him come close and hear that voice of his say my name.

"What, Stefan?" I scowl back, turning to face him but looking at his shirt collar.

In my periphial vision I see his lips – their red and calling to me to kiss them as I know he's been biting on them like he does when he's upset.

"Elena, stay here. I'd like to talk for awh-"

I cut him off, his voice is too much for me and I don't want to not be mad at him just yet. "I can't push the kids off on Bonnie and Jeremy, Stefan… I can't just run off like you do."

Something about my vile words gives me a false sense of strength and I look up at him, right into his angry eyes looking down at me.

"We need to talk, Elena." Stefan's voice is quiet, low, but flaring with anger. You have no idea how badly I want to kiss him now… twenty times worse than before. I hate when he's angry with me even though I'm mad at him!

I give a heavy sigh and move into my seat, "You know where to find me, Stefan." I say with a somewhat bitchy smile on my face, then close the door and pretend like I'm not watching him out of the corner of my eye as Jeremy puts the car in drive and he's left watching me leave this time.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	18. Chapter 18

**CHAPTER 18 – THE REAPING**

**This is a semi-chapter – a birthday gift for a reader.**

This is it. No matter how I try to deny it, or how much I know that it's wrong – I love him. I love Stefan.

Stefan Salvatore – strong, intelligent, smart, beautiful, mysterious, vampire, Stefan… I am in love with him. I've fallen in love with him and he's leaving me… I know it. Now that he's rid me of the dangers that being with him have brought to my small town life, he's leaving to save me.

That's all I can think right now, driving him back to his house on the outskirts of town – both of us staring straight ahead into the black night. As I try to avoid this tension, my mind is having trouble finding any topic that does not involve him. His hand so close to me, resting on the console between us. Stefan has this scent – this intoxicating, clean smell about him… it's all around me, light in the heavy air between us, taunting me to move closer to him – inhale his scent, inhale him. The way the lights of the passing cars on this two-lane highway catch his features and shadow his Roman face in a way that tightens my stomach to an even greater degree. When that pressure against my chest starts to affect my breathing, I do what I can to find other things to think about:

The starless sky.  
The woods on each side of the highway.  
The sound of the tires on the gravel as we turn into the Salvatore Boarding House.

This is it. I pull to a stop and a million words rush to my lips but the only thing I want to say is 'Please, Stefan… don't go.'

Turning off the ignition kills the headlights and it's silent – just Stefan and me and this strange tension between us and the looming end to whatever it is that he and I have. He starts to move – his hand going for the handle of the passenger door and I just start talking.

"What I said before, about you leaving – it was harsh." I'm rambling. I'm just trying to keep him here – in my sight, near me, with me. I love him.

I'm trying to think of someway to continue the conversation, lost in my thoughts of what my life will be like without Stefan in it when he says in a soft, yet detached tone, "No, you had every right."

Then he turns to me, those honest eyes of his nearly colorless in this darkness and I lose my strong-girl will power – afraid that if I look at him I may cry as it's only been a few weeks and for the life of me I can't remember what it felt like to not have this beautiful man by my side, I continue to stare straight ahead and begin what I know will be the equivalent of me begging him to be with me pleading with him to change his mind.

"You asked me what I wanted my future to be," Hundreds of images of my parents fill my mind, giving me the courage I need to do what I know is right no matter what the world may think of my love for Stefan, my love for a vampire. Facing him, I continue – opening up to him in a way I can not do with anyone else. "I wanted to be a writer. My mom sort of pushed me into that direction from the time I was able to read," Oh gosh, he's just so beautiful, looking at me like that… really listening to me speak. "She supported me, encouraged me, bought me my first journal… and then she died." Just before he looks away, I see the heartbreak in his eyes – it's like he can feel how those four words dig into me. The way he's listening to me, the way he seems to feel what I'm feeling, it just pushes me to continue pouring myself out to him. "…and I can't see myself being a writer anymore – that was something that we shared." I love him. I love the way he respects me. The way he wants to shelter me. "I know that you think that you brought all of this bad stuff into my life but my life already had it. I was buried in it!" I'm about to say, Buried in it until you, but he cuts me off.

"This is different."

"It doesn't make it any less painful." I've tried so hard not to cry, but as the tears pool around my lashes I know I'm about to lose this fight.

Stefan looks at me, inhales, then pauses – resting his head against the seat behind him. Something about this delay only fills my eyes with heavier tears. "I… I know that – that it's hard to understand." Stefan Salvatore stammering with words – it's the first time he's ever been anything less than perfectly articulate and these stutters are scaring me, hurting me. I even shake my head no, silently asking him not to continue with whatever it is that he's about to say – whatever words he's going to use to tell me we are over. In the softest whisper, he crushes me with, "But I'm doing this for you." Then leaves me sitting in the truck and watching him walk away.

Again. Again, he's walking away from me. Again, he is deciding what is right for me. Fueled with anger, I find myself opening the drivers door and slamming it loudly as I step towards him, saying in a loud, surprisingly strong voice "No! You don't get to make that decision for me. If you walk away, it's for you, because I know what I want…" I wish he'd turn around, acknowledge me – something! Before I can even consider not telling him what my heart is forcing onto my tongue, I feel my mouth open and my lips forming the words that I have never told anyone in my life – "Stefan, I love you."

It seems like so long, looking at the back of his head – at his tensed back and his hands at his sides, his fingers moving just the slightest. I feel my heart start to hurt, my lungs ache, the tears in my eyes becoming too much for me to resist – and then he shifts his weight. From one leg to the other, Stefan shifts his weight and turns to look at me over his shoulder. He's got this look of disbelief on his face… like maybe he's never heard anyone confess their love to him before, like maybe my love for him means more than I can even begin to imagine.

Closing his eyes, swallowing hard, I watch him absorb my confession as that pressure against my chest seems to both pull me and push me at the same time – wrapping around me tightly. I'm nearly lost in the vibration, the tingling against my skin when Stefan's quick movement brings me back to the moment and in just a few wide strides, his strong hands are holding my face in that way that feels so warm and the man I love is kissing me – tasting my lips like he's never experienced anything so sweet.

I can't explain what it feels like – this kiss, this soul-crushing, life-altering, electrified slipping of his lips against mine – I can only tell you that I have never felt so alive, so real, so veracious in my life. Every nerve in my body is begging for his touch as his thumbs softly slip down by cheeks and he moves away from our kiss – leaving me breathless, wanting more like I never have before.

I don't want to stop this feeling – the buzzing, the pressure, the pushing and pulling of my body to his body – so as we move inside we continue to kiss, our lips finding each other as I strip of my jacket and wrap my arms around him. I wish I could tell you what it's like to kiss the man your mouth was made to taste – how he meets each movement of my tongue with his, how he sucks my lip into his mouth, the way his teeth scrap across my over sensitive skin.

I've got my hands in his hair and I am completely lost in him, in all these millions of emotions that I have coursing through me – when Stefan turns away from me, I don't realize the problem. I kiss his perfectly shaped jaw, suck at the warm skin just below his ear – but then he turns away, pushing my hands from his body, ripping me out of my haze of love and lust and his warm, clean scent, and that strange tension.

For the smallest of moments I feel my heart hit the floor – rejection cutting into me, taking my already short breath out of my lungs – but then I understand. I don't know if it just hit me because it made sense, or if I could sense it… I know, I know that sounds crazy – but I truly sense his shame, his guilt. My beautiful, strong, unbreakable Stefan Salvatore is scared to let me see him. I can't stand it – I can't take this, feeling his guilt. I can't let him ever feel like this again – not because of me, not with me.

Running my hands over his back, down his arm, I swear to myself that I will never, ever be the cause of Stefan feeling shamed. I love him. I will be his solace.

"Don't." I hardly have enough oxygen to say anything at all.

It honestly hurts me when Stefan says to me, "Elena, I can't." and I'm enveloped in that feeling – that sense of his hurt, of his pain, of his guilt.

But I don't care – I don't care that he's a vampire. I love him. I love him for being so kind, so gentle. For the way he listens to me when I speak and the way he trusts me. I love him for the way he touches me, for the way he looks at me like I'm the most precious thing in his universe. "Yes, you can." I sigh, my hand finding face and gently guiding him back to me. He resists – so strong, so deeply hurt – but I want him to know that it doesn't matter to me. I want him to know how I feel. "Don't hide from me."

And when he turns to me, he can't look at my face – that shame that he's feeling so heavy, so real as it flows into my chest. I should probably be scared, frightened by the blood red of his eyes or the veins beneath his skin… but as his face finds the light and I get a real, true look at Stefan, I'm in awe of how beautiful he is. Beautiful in a way that I've never seen. In a way that I cannot understand. I can't stop myself from touching his face – exquisitely perfect in every way, from his nude-pink lips to his furrowed brow, Stefan is breath-takingly handsome.

When I stand on my toes and hold his face, leaning up to kiss him, I feel Stefan tense – begin to move away – but my lips find his and I kiss his Roman face softly, sweetly – praying that he can feel how much I love him, praying that he can sense that I will accept him no matter what.

And when I pull away, once again wrapped in that effervescent sparking of electricity between us, I look up at that perfect face of his as Stefan looks down at me like he's never seen me before – like he can't believe I'm real - and right there, in that moment, as I see his honest green eyes looking into mine – that's when I know that I will never be the same.

That's when I know that I've fallen in love with Stefan Salvatore forever, for always, no matter what.

And then I wake up – I wake up in Bonnie's extra bedroom, my eyes finding the white gold band sitting on the night stand that should be on Stefan's finger just as soon as my eyelids open. For a long while, I don't move. I just lay there and think of Stefan. I'm cold without him. I'm empty and I'm alone and I'm craving our gravity as the sunlight begins to peak in through the blinds.

But more than anything, I miss feeling like that – like the girl that I was when I loved Stefan with my entire being, with my whole heart. I miss that bond between us when he knew that I accepted him. I miss being that girl that loved him no matter what.

I can be that girl again…

-Caroline-

"So, wait…" I stop short, in the middle of the hallway with five interns surrounding me. The most ignorant of the pack nearly runs right into me with a hot cup of coffee but I am far too caught up in the story of last night's dinner to do much more than turn back and glare at her. I'm fuming – steaming mad! I can't believe we missed this – I can't believe Katherine used a piece of cake to tell everyone but Damon that she think's Stefan is the father… but most of all, I can't believe Elena! "she said what?!"

He was reluctant to tell me about Elena's smart ass remarks – I could hear it in the way he stammered around it. Stefan doesn't 'um', he doesn't 'ya know' – the few times he has used such conversation delay tactics, it was usually to soften the blow of some terrible news.

"Just leave, please."

"Leave it? Stefan." I say sharply, in disbelief almost - one hand holding my cell much too tightly and the other wrinkling the pages of the transcripts left from the morning news broadcast. "You can't let Elena-"

"Caroline, listen to me, okay?" Even over the phone I can hear that anger of his brimming at the surface – creating that grit in his voice and that bass in the tone of his words that has always made me a little scared even though I know Stefan would never hurt me. His words are at an easy pace, but I can almost see that furrowed brow and clenched jaw as he says, "I called because I needed to talk to someone. To you – not to get a lynch mob after my wife! Can you _please_ just let me vent about this now so that I don't lose it when I talk to her later?"

Holding my thoughts in is really not by forte'. Truth be told, I kind of enjoy telling someone off – spouting my opinion about what they're doing wrong or not doing right… so as I swallow the sentences that are fighting to come out of my mouth – _Elena needs to realize how good she has it! She cheated on you! Who does she think she is, talking to you like that! How dare she call you out on leaving! I should talk to her… I should call her up and tell her that she's being a real moron about this whole thing _– so yea, as I force myself to keep those thoughts from becoming audible words for Stefan's sake, I release a little bit of my aggravation on my least favorite intern – Shelby – snatching the papers for tomorrow's news cast out of her hand and giving her a 'now get away from me!' big eyed glare.

I guess that 'mean girl' that I used to be – pre vampire, junior year Caroline Forbes - is still alive and well somewhere inside of me because I get a thrill at how the 20 year old girl withers away from me.

"You're right, Stefan." I groan. He is right, but I still don't like it. "I'm sorry. You should be able to talk to me without worrying that I'm going to run her down about it." When Stefan doesn't respond, I can't help but wonder if he's angry with me or faltering on his plan of standing his ground. "I know you love her, Stefan, and Elena loves you," I choose my words carefully, flipping through the papers in my hands – hardly seeing them but trying to look busy infront of the interns. "But you can't always be the one to toe the line. Elena has to give sometimes too." I drop a few of the pages and Shelby quickly recovers them, handing them back to me as I give her a quick smile and shove the transcripts and police sketches back into the pile. "Stay the course, Stefan… You deserve to be treated better." A few more seconds of silence leads me to ask in a frustrated tone, "Are you still there?"

"I'm here. I've got another call coming through." From the chime of happiness in his voice, I already know who it is before he tells me, "it's Elena."

Of course it's Elena – she's slept on it and she's woke up and realized just how wonderful he is and just how messed up this whole situation has become. As Stefan and I say goodbye, I remind him that Klaus and I will be in town in two weeks then tell him that I love him – he doesn't reply in kind, but I know he loves me even if he never says it.

"Here, Shelby." I frown, taking off my heels and giving them to the mousy intern. "And would you please make copies of these – they're all bent up now." I ask with my best smile even though my swollen feet and swollen tummy are causing my body to ache – I'm only four months pregnant and can already feel the difference!

-Stefan-

"Can I come over?"

Yes. Of course. Please, come over. Talk to me. Stay with me. Touch me. Let me touch you. I love her all the way down to the marrow in my bones and it's breaking me to deny myself when I say, "Why?"

There's a pause – I hate myself for hurting her, but I can see no other way. Twice now, twice Elena's cut into me with the things I regret most in life… things that haunt me every single day. When I think of the way she used my guilt against me, it breaks my heart and changes something in the way I feel about her…

"I'd really like to talk to you." There's a waving in her voice, a gently murmur that tugs at my heart. "About Katherine, the baby… what our future is going to look like if it's yours."

If it's mine… everything weighs on that. Whether or not she can love me depends on if Katherine's child belongs to me or Katherine's other victim – Elena's brother. I wonder how Elena will react when she finds out that I love the child growing in Katherine's body. I wonder what she's going to think of me when I tell her that I plan on taking care of the baby, of Katherine, should Damon find out and turn them away. The images in my mind of Elena glaring at me, looking at me like I'm worthless, like I'm no good to her anymore, they flare up my anger and it's audible in my voice when I say, "What does it matter if I'm the father?"

She laughs into the receiver – one of those half chuckles, half hmph's that your body releases when your brain isn't sure if you've just heard the other person right. "What does it matter?"

I repeat myself, this time I feel the beginnings of the anger from last night's insult weaving back into me – _I can't just run off like you do_ –

"What does it matter if I'm the father, Elena?"

"How is it that you're mad at me?" She asks, her attitude rising as well. "You cheated on me and now Katherine may be pregnant with your child – it matters, Stefan."

I bite my upper lip long enough to gain just enough control to keep from raising my voice – still, my tone is rough and louder than I want it to be when I say, "_I_ did not consciously cheat on _you_, Elena._ I_ did not see Katherine standing before me and think, you know what, she's worth destroying my entire life for. Sleeping with her is worth hurting Elena, hurting the woman that I adore, the woman that I _love_. There was no moment of _confusion_ where _I_ wasn't sure what I wanted, Elena. I didn't decide to be with Katherine on a whim in Spain!" I have to stop. Take a deep breath. Elena is dead silent on the line, taking in my words of anger about her and Damon for the first time. I forgave Elena the moment she came to see me after she got back from Spain – in an instant, I saw her and I felt how much I love her and I remembered all the ways I could have been better to her and I forgave her. I let it go, because of how much I love her… but right now the wound feels so fresh, so painful.

After a long moment of silence, Elena says my name in a small voice – a small, near tears voice that would normally tie my tongue and shake me to my core. "Stefan…"

"It shouldn't matter if the child is mine, Elena." My voice is not as loud, but much more rough, much more telling of the pain and the anger and the hurt that I can't control. "There shouldn't be an _if_ to loving someone, there shouldn't be a _maybe. _I am not a choice, Elena."

And I hang up. I drop the phone on the floor and I feel both tore down and terrified that I've just ended us in her eyes, as well as liberated for finally telling her how she hurt me.

She's cheated on me – Elena chose to have sex with Damon. She's fallen in love with my brother. After telling me she couldn't be with me, dragging me through hell as I had to relive the love triangle with Damon, agreeing to marry him, agreeing to turn for him… pushing me away in Wilmington and holding Allie infront of me like a dangling carrot that I could never touch. After everything we've been through and every time she's chosen Bonnie, or Matt, or Jeremy, or Damon over me… I love her.

I will always love Elena. It's impossible not to love the only person in the entire world that knows me for who I really am. Whatever this is that we're going through, wherever it leads us, however far apart we may grow – it'll never change the fact that my soul will forever be tangled with Elena's.

The problem is, she has no idea how closely I have wrapped myself around her… the way I love her changed me. From that night we spent talking in her bedroom, years and years ago, with each passing day my love for her has grown and swollen and dug itself deeper into me, rooting into my soul – nothing will ever change that.

Falling back into the leather armchair, I'm heavy with sorrow from rehashing our painful past – I close my eyes and like always, I see her face… and I can't help but wonder what it must feel like to be loved the way I love her.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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**THANK YOU FOR READING!**


	19. Chapter 19

**CHAPTER 19 – THE REAPING**

-Bonnie-

"Hey," I whisper, lightly knocking on Elena's door and opening it just the slightest - poking my head in, "Hey, Elena?"

Allie is curled up in her Disney Princess blanket on what was Stefan's side of the bed while Elena – much like she has been for the past two weeks – is sitting indian-style and typing away at her laptop. With her face washed in the white-blue light from the screen and the wires from her earbuds framing her focused expression, she looks so much like that teenager from years ago. It's been like this pretty much every night since Damon and Katherine's celebration dinner.

By the time Jeremy gets home from coaching his after-school pee-wee football practice, Elena is usually knee deep in kids toys with Liam, Lola, Allie, and Grayson while I finish up dinner. We eat, we talk a little small town gossip – with Jer and I both working at the public school, we are up-to-date on all the happenings and avoid all Salvatore/Pierce talk – then we split up and I work on the twins bedtimes and Elena handles Allie and Grayson with Jeremy playing handmaid to us both. The moment Grayson goes to sleep, like clock-work, you can bet Allie will be sleeping on her dads pillow to the sound of Elena's short nails click-clacking on the keyboard.

I step further into the room to avoid speaking louder as I do not want to wake Allie. After whispering her name a few more times, I end up having to lightly knee the mattress to actually shake Elena out of whatever thought she was lost in.

Oddly, she looks up at me with a surprised look on her face and a wide smile. All this time, Jeremy and I have thought that she was journaling, or maybe working on something for her job, but with that look, I don't know, maybe she's considering online dating?

"Sorry," Elena whisper-laughs with a roll of her eyes as she pulls the earbuds from her ears – I catch the familiar tune of some ballad, James Morrison… Ron Pope maybe – "What's up?"

"Just wondering if you wanted some ice cream?" I ask, but honestly, now I'm more curious about what in the world she's doing in here every night curled up on her bed, listening to love songs, and smiling like that at a laptop screen. She's my best friend – always has been, so I don't feel as nosy as I should when I just come out and ask, "What are you doing?"

I see a mischievous flicker of something in her very dark, very happy eyes and it sits weird inside of me – here she is, freshly cheated on, even more freshly left by her husband, a single mom, no house, other than her job with that publishing place in North Carolina, she's completely dependent on Stefan who may or may not have a third child coming into the world… and yet here she is, with a very out of place expression on her face as I watch her try and think of an answer.

"Journaling." The way she says it – all high pitched – it's all most like she's surprised by the word, like she's testing it out, seeing how it fits in the situation.

Without even considering not doing it, my eyes shift to the white leather-bound journal sitting on her nightstand, then over to the bookshelf where she has three others from years past.

"Journaling?" The way I say it, my voice lower, the syllables coming out slower, it's almost like I'm saying _liar._

"I'm… I'm upgrading to the twenty-first century." Elena tries, but as she speaks her hand pulls the screen down a bit – and as a teacher, let me tell you that's the first sign that someone is doing something that they are trying to hide.

And in an instant my mind is filled with what I know she must be doing in here with her love songs and her big smile. My stomach hurts – aches with jealousy. I'm talking full-on knot! Truth be told, I'm both jealous and sad as I step backwards. A couple of odd timed strides back to the door as I force a smile and a nod to my face and pray to God that I don't start tearing up or doing that lip pursing thing that I do out of habit when I want to scream.

"What kind?" I'm lost in my thoughts, my jealous thoughts of the way he's probably fawning over her, and it takes a moment for me to understand what she's asked. "… the ice cream?" Elena adds in a soft tone, suppressing a giggle.

My throat is tight with accusations that I cannot let slip out of my mouth when I say, "Cookies and cream," Then try to make my tone seem less weird as I open the door, adding with a forced grin, "Jeremy's favorite." I'm married – I mentally remind myself over and over. She shakes her head no and I move to leave as Elena opens her laptop once more and my stomach knots tighter as I wonder what kind of flirty messages he's left for her. Of course, with Elena back and separated from Stefan, it's a no brainer that he would try to make a move. And, it's a given than Elena will fall right back into her Salvatore rotation. Don't get me wrong, I've never been the biggest cheerleader for Stefan, but he's the better of the two for Elena!

I just want to leave. Go to my room and berate myself for being so ridiculous as to have a crush on Damon…

It doesn't matter that he and I have been on friendly, flirty terms for a long time now. I'm no Elena Gilbert… I'm no Katherine Petrova Pierce blah blah blah. And these last couple of weeks, since his flirty texts and just-to-check-in phone calls have stopped, I'd figured it was the baby stealing his attention away… now I am almost one hundred percent sure that it's Elena.

Whatever child like crush I have on him is just nothing – it's nothing.

"Oh hey," Elena calls out a bit too loudly just before I shut the door – we both stay ultra quiet and stone-still for a long moment as we watch Allie nestle her face against her blanket, yawn once, then relax back into that child-like sleep that you can only get if your of a single-digit age. "Jeremy mentioned a house for sale that I should look at?"

Oh right. His big surprise for Elena that got put off when someone from work called his phone and he had to head out for awhile. "Yeah, um…" Should I tell her? Ruin the big reveal? I check the alarm clock on the bedside table – it's 9:45pm and Jeremy is still tied up at work – "Jeremy really wanted to surprise you, but since he's out of pocket at the moment…" That jealousy in my gut, it's turning to a different acid… anger, suspicion maybe? But before it can get too bad, I inhale a deep, cleansing breath, "Your parents old house. It's on the market again!"

-Damon-

"When did you and the evil original become besties?" Yea, I sound jealous. I am. I mean, he's my damn brother and when I call him up and ask him to come over and help with putting a nursery together, then I expect him to choose me over Klaus "What are you going to do? Sit around and count your fortunes?"

The brief pause before he responds tells me two things.

Stefan feels guilty. So what. He always feels fucking guilty. It's like it's part of his schtick.

He's brooding. Always fucking brooding.

I said two things… there is a third.

He's not telling me something.

You think you can spend almost two centuries with someone and not know things like that? You think you can watch a person grow from a diapered infant to a dirt-covered kid, from a teenager to a mass murder and back to a pretty decent guy and not know every single inflection of their voice?

I know my brother. Even over the phone, I know Stefan like no one else. Elena, Caroline – they don't know shit.

He was weird at dinner a couple weeks ago, but I figured it had to do with telling me he cheated on Elena and then, Elena and her family being there. Since then he's been laying low. I saw him once last weekend – he was running through town when I was doing rounds with the deputy I'm training with. When he saw me, I caught the surprise, but the quick look away struck me as odd. I let it go. I didn't think of it at all… not until this moment. This pause, this odd tone, the choosing Klaus over me and this family event. Stefan, much like Elena, they love family event bullshit.

Something is up.

With a leading sigh, Stefan says, "I can't get out of it now. I've already promised them I'd drive them around while they got things together for their wedding."

"Caroline grew up here and Klaus knows the town just as well, if not better than you and I." Buckling the holster onto my belt, I hold my tongue for a second just to see if he's got a response lined up. When he doesn't, I call him out on it, "What's going on, Stefan?"

Maybe he's not liking life as the inferior Salvatore brother? I mean, I get it – I've been there. Hell, I've lived most of my life in his shadow. I wonder if I should be a bit easier on him, but it's almost 7am and I have to get on the road if I'm going to make it to the station by our shift-handover meeting at 7:30.

Long pause. I hear him inhale. Exhale. Shift around in whatever seat he's in. Just before I lose what little bit of temper control I have, he finally says, "Where's Katherine?"

Katherine? What in the fuck is he asking about my wife, er – girlfriend. Note to self, I should propose pretty soon. "She went to Roanoke for the night, shopping for the baby and the nursery I've asked you to help with." I reply in a snarky tone, off put by his wondering about Katherine.

"I, uh." Stefan stammers a bit and I don't know why but it tightens my gut a little. "Are you working tonight? I'd like to talk to you, face to face… Alone."

-Elena-

I stayed up late. Really late. So late that when I finally shut my laptop and turned off the bedside lamp, the room was already half lit by the rising sun. It was a lethal combination of a late night cup of black coffee, the news about my childhood home, and of course, writing.

I don't know how to explain to you how time passes without me having any sense of the night flying by me. The first time it happened, the same day that I called Stefan and he finally laid into me about Damon… about all the wrong choices I've made… that night I sat down with my laptop and one of my old journals to chronicle what all I had done. I mean, I know what I've done – but with the compulsion and the few months I spent half alive/half dead in Klaus' tomb, sometimes things aren't as clear as they used to be. So I sit down and I start going through everything… it didn't take long for me to figure out that my pattern of choosing Stefan second to everyone else in my life started pretty early in our relationship.

What was it – our second real date maybe, when I let Damon's snaky ways make me doubt Stefan? Then there was Vicki Donovan. Looking back on it I regret the way I made Stefan feel like it was his place to rescue Vicki. I regret the pressure I put on him to handle every single thing that went astray in Mystic Falls. And it just got worse from there – Jeremy, Jena, Caroline, Bonnie, Matt – over and over and in different order and different severities, each time I assumed Stefan would handle it… and he did.

Every time. He never let me down.

I guess I stopped chronicling and started actually writing right around the entry of my journal where Stefan saved Jeremy and ended up captured – seemingly forever – in the tomb with Katherine. Hours later, Allie woke up and I spent the day groggy, yet excited about the twenty five pages of semi-autobiographical non-fiction-fiction that I'd strung together. As of this morning, I'm one hundred and forty seven pages in – Stefan and I have just broken up. After Jena stabbed herself from Katherine's compulsion. I cried just as hard as I wrote it out as the night it actually happened…

I am both physically tired from hardly getting any sleep these last couple of weeks – with the writing and the No-Stefan in bed next to me – as well as drained from reliving our first six months. It was so hard… my life was just a total mess. Death, destruction – constantly dodging a threat of one kind or another.

And the only thing that held me together, that kept me going was Stefan.

He has never let me down.

So anyway, Bonnie and Jeremy have just left for school with Allie and I've got the three little ones at home with me. Grayson, my late sleeper, is still snuggled in his crib while Lola and Liam with their beautiful Bonnie curls and dark, round Gilbert eyes, are buckled into their high-chairs and giggling over their scrambled eggs.

I'm exhausted, yes, but I'm also dying to know what's going on with my parent's old home. Before they left, I got some more information from Jeremy and now that the kids are occupied for the moment, I take this rare moment of free time to sneak off into the bathroom and call the realtors office.

My thumb trembles as I key out the number and I hold my breath while the connection takes and a couple of rings make my nerves almost unbearable. I mean, what am I thinking? I can't afford that house! Not alone, atleast – and if there's anything I've learned in the very few interactions Stefan and I have had in the last couple of weeks while exchanging the kids, buying my new car, or coordinating an errand or whatnot, it's that Stefan may have completely washed his hands with me all together.

What am I going to do? Call him up and say _Hey, can you buy this house for me?_

That is exactly like the Elena-moves I'm trying to get away from!

All the discouraging thoughts running through my head almost make me hang up, but a much too cheery voice rings into my ears and cuts away the negative words,"Good Morning, Ross Wickery Realty, this is Margo, how may I help you today?"

Maybe it's because I haven't spoke much today, and when I have I've talked in that high-pitched, soft cooey sound that I use with babies, but when I start talking my voice cracks like I'm incredibly nervous – I am incredibly nervous. I want my home back so badly. "Hi, Good morning. This is Elena Gilbert-Salva-"

"OH Hello!" Margo cuts me off, her smoke-scratched voice is kind of deep, sultry almost – something like how I've always imagined Betty Davis' voice. "Mrs. Salvatore, I am so sorry that I haven't given you call. I had a water pipe burst in my basement and with my daughter getting ready to graduate next month and prom coming up, before I knew it I woke up and it was Friday morning! Oh gosh, where is that message…"

Call me back? She knew my name?

"Umm. I'm sorry, I…?"

There's a little silence as I try to figure out how in the world she knew my name and if maybe I called her and for some reason cant remember – I mean, stranger things have happened to me – and from the sounds of papers rustling and drawers dragging open and shutting, Margo seems to be just as caught off guard as I am.

"Yes, Ma'am. You said Elena? Elena Salvatore?"

"Uh, yea – Elena Salvatore." Sorry to sound braggy, but I am still so proud to have Stefan's last name that hearing it said so casually fills my chest with delight.

"Now, I know I wrote it do - Oh hear it is!" Margo exclaims a raspy chuckle. In a slightly monotone, yet excited tone she reads "Mr. Stefan Salvatore called on Wednesday and asked that I get ahold of one Elena Salvatore at 409-788-7891 in order to schedule a walk through before he issues the earnest money for the purchase of the home on Maple Street."

Stefan… he never lets me down.

-Jeremy-

I'm tired, okay.

I've put in a full day, then another hour working with the art club before a two hour practice with the football team that I assistant coach.

I am so tired that when I walk in the house and see a headful of long, spiral curls and heavy eye make up, I nearly turn around and leave because having Katherine around Bonnie is nothing but bad news for me. I mean, how much longer before she stops covering for me and tells Bonnie all about our relationship. To be honest, I don't know why in the hell Stefan hasn't pulled me under with him!

Thankfully, Allie tips me off to the fact that it's Elena, my sister, and not Katherine, my girlfriend, when she says, "Doesn't Mommy look pretty, Uncle Jeremy?"

I hope that Elena's odd look up at me from her cross-legged seat in the floor is more from her being uncomfortable in all the make up and not her wondering why I look like I'm about to pass out.

With an odd, forced laugh, I say, "Yea, she looks nice, Al", then quickly make my way to the hall in order to escape what feels like a suspicious look as well as toss my stuff into the closet.

I don't know if I can do this much longer. The lying. It's keeping me on edge constantly…

Just as Bonnie carries a casserole dish to the dining table with over-mittened hands, seemingly finishing a sentence, "…I mean, come on? Did she really think I'd go with her?" Then smiling a hello at me when she realizes I'm home.

Grunting as she stands, Elena says, "Katherine doesn't seem to have any kind of radar for what is a proper reaction to the things she says and does… so yea, I'm not surprised that she invited you to go shopping with her."

Bonnie stops in her tracks, taking off her mittens, "Wow, Elena… I forgot how easy it is for you to turn into her mirror image."

"Yea." She laughs, brushing Allie's hair back, "All I need is a six year old to layer on the makeup and back comb my hair for an hour and I'm the spitting image."

-Stefan-

I've told Caroline and Klaus what I'm going to do… telling Damon, and even though I can see Caroline is worried for me, neither of them object. It's the right thing. Keeping Damon in the dark while everyone else knows is only adding fuel to the fire.

Damon is a proud man… this is only going to humiliate him even further the longer I draw it out.

"So wait," Caroline stands as I slip on my jacket – it's only been two weeks since I saw her last and the growth of her stomach is pretty substantial, she even rocks a bit from the uneven weight. "You're going now? Tonight? We just got here, Stefan!"

"Darling," Klaus starts, reaching for Caroline's hand, "let him be."

I don't know when it happened, or how, but somehow Klaus has become a decent man. He takes care of Caroline, he loves her, and he's loyal to her. And to me. He knows I have to do this no matter how badly I'd rather keep it from Damon.

This may be the last straw for us – telling Damon that I slept with Katherine and the child that he thinks is his may actually be mine, this may be it for the Salvatore Brothers.

I nod a quick thank you to Klaus and give a small, albeit nervous, smile to Caroline, then head out. I've got more than an hour before I'm supposed to meet Damon at the boarding house, but I need some time to get my thoughts together – I have no idea how to confess this without looking like I'm trying to avoid blame or worse, make it seem as though I did it on purpose. One thing I'm certain of, this is going to end with me on the floor.

It's oddly cool out tonight – mid April in Virginia is just slightly warmer than winter. It's nice though, the frigid air against my face, filling my lungs, and it helps to calm my nerves by the time I make it through the parking lot and to my SUV.

I'm not in the seat long enough to start the engine before my phone rings.

Elena

I can't talk with her right now. I'm too high strung. I'm too tense. She's got a way of easing the stress inside of me and honestly, I need it right now. If I'm going to go through with this, I need that rigid edge of my muscles.

As I pull into the street, a light snowfall begins and I'm finding it difficult not to look at the white flakes falling through the headlights instead of paying attention to the road. I guess that's why I answer the phone when it rings again. It's an automatic movement, a reflex almost, hitting the Bluetooth connection on the steering wheel.

I assume it's Elena and give a 'Hey' for a greeting.

"Ugh, Stefan. Thank God you answered," It's Katherine, with her sultry sing-song tone and coming through the speakers it's in full surround sound, wrapping me in her voice. "Where are you?"

"Driving." The less I say, the less she has to play with.

"Hmm. Just tell me you haven't set up this face to face with your brother because you're going to let him in on our little secret…" I don't respond. She already knows, otherwise she wouldn't be calling. The silence lasts too long, both of us unsure of the hand the other is playing, finally she sighs in an exasperated way, "You're so selfish sometimes, Stefan." I laugh. I do, I mean come on… _I'm selfish?_ This coming from her is humorous. Raising her voice a little, Katherine actually sounds unnerved when she speaks, "No, I'm serious Stefan, I can't believe you're going to steal this little bit of happiness from him just to clear your conscience!"

Instantly, I respond cooly, "What do you know about clearing your conscience, Katherine?", but I haven't even finished the sentence before I start to question my own motives.

"Oh, Stefan, you got me there." She's using her coy, bitchy voice – I can almost see her narrowed eyes and slow curving lips. "But what I did, I did for him. I did it for Damon. To give Damon the one thing that he wants and _he_ can't have." He can't have? I get what she's trying to say – insinuating that their issues with conceiving had to do with Damon, but I can't believe her. I can't trust her to be straight with me… It's the only true fact about Katherine; she always has a plan B. She is always moving further ahead in the game than you are. Always. "So you feel guilty… so what? Live with it Stefan. Be a man and swallow your pride and let your brother be happy just this one time! Consider it penance… retribution."

She almost had me –playing Damon's infallible believe that he is somehow less than against me – but the last line, that's what threw it off. What do I owe Damon? He chased after Elena from the day Katherine turned him down. Every chance he got, my brother was making move after move to get between us. When he was dying from a werewolf bite and I gave my loyalty to Klaus for the cure, how long was it that he waited before he picked up with this pursuit of the woman I loved? Then Spain…

"Penance?" I huff, "Yea, okay. Remind me what I am in need of retribution for?"

"You've forgotten already?" Katherine giggles – that playful, might just as easy stab you in the neck laugh that I used to find alluring but now causes me pause. "Who was that girl you brought to Damon when you forced him to turn? Was it a Lockwood girl? A Fell?"

-Elena-

Jeremy is totally zonked out on the couch when I come out of Grayson's room. I consider waking him, but decide I could get my shower before I stir him. Even with Bonnie and I railing Katherine for the entire meal, Jeremy was really quiet through dinner and though he helped with cleaning up the kitchen, he fell asleep before Bonnie started working on getting the twins down and she let him rest rather than wake him for assistance. With one long look at my now-big, little brother, I check in on Allie playing on the Ipad Stefan bought her then head to the bathroom.

It's futile, I know, but I can't help but check my phone to see if Stefan has called back or sent a text. Pulling my Iphone from the pocket of my jeans, I'm pleasantly surprised to see an alert – then immediately hit hard by the message.

Katherine: Sent A Photo – Wouldn't a little Stefan look gorgeous in this? ;)

Attached to the text is a picture of a dark grey newborn onsie with blue text that says, _If you think I'm cute you should see my daddy_

What's that old saying… One Step Forwards, Three Steps Back…

Night after night of writing, combing through my past with Stefan, reliving it and rehashing and therapeutically putting our story on paper – all of that work is gone in an instant.

I'm so angry all over again! Angry that Katherine has the ability to flip my moods like a switch!

Angry that Stefan brought her back into our lives with such a huge surge of power!

Angry that if I want to be with Stefan then I have to deal with her!

Angry that she is once again winning! Yet another occasion in which Katherine Pierce does and says whatever she wants to do and no harm ever comes to her – no payback… no reckoning for her actions.

To keep from throwing my phone or screaming or bursting in to tears – maybe all three – I lean against the bathroom door and squeeze my eyes shut tight. All those breathing techniques that I used when I was compelled to forget Stefan and suffered from panic attacks come back to me and before I know it I find myself breathing in for seven seconds, exhaling through my nose.

Breathing in for eight seconds, exhaling through my nose.

Breathing in for nine seconds, exhaling through my nose.

And by the time I've reached a ten second inhale, I'm calm. I'm calm and I'm ready to finally stand up to Katherine.

-Damon-

I hopped in the shower the moment I got home from work – a 13 hour shift of riding around in a car without another guy just makes me feel grumy, not to mention the clothing. So I do a quick wash off before changing into something more appropriate for whatever Stefan is going to tell me. Maybe I'm wrong – probably not – but I feel like I'm going to end up beating the shit of out of him tonight. With that in mind, I decide on a pair of old dark blue jeans and gray tee shirt that I won't mind getting his blood on.

Sometimes I wish I would have never been changed back to human. I spent a century and a half hating Stefan for making me turn, but now, I miss it. Some of it. The strength, the sensitive hearing, the general bad-ass-ness of being immortal. In human years I'm 29 though I'm pushing 184. When I pull on my shirt, the rolling popping from my shoulder and down my spine remind me just how weak I am as a human.

The sound of Katherine's voice calling my name from just downstairs reminds me of how vulnerable I am – I didn't hear her pull up, I didn't hear the door open… hell I wouldn't have heard her at all if she wouldn't have yelled out my name.

"Damon? Are you home?" She calls again as I start down the stairs – another thing I miss - the speed, the lightfooted-ness, the agility. Each step down the stairs in a small roar of thunder throughout the old Salvatore house.

"Oh hey!" Katherine is standing in the hallway, just at the end of the foyer, and the moment she sees me she smiles – a soft, almost shy smile. I don't hesitate. I love this woman. She's incredibly sexy – ten times over now that she's carrying my child – I make a quick turn off of the stair case, a couple wide strides and before she can see what's coming I've got my hands cupping the soft, warm skin her face and a long, slow kiss on her lips. I only pull away because we are in full view of Stefan opening the front door.

-Elena-

Oh no. Oh my God.

This looks…. Oh no…. before I can decide not to, I begin playing the part in hopes that Stefan may somehow confuse me for Katherine just in the same way Damon has.

"Baby brother, perfect timing as always." Damon quips, slipping one hand from my face and down my back, the other moving away from my body all together as he gestures for Stefan to come in. I take a moment to get myself together before turning to look at Stefan – the chest pressure from our frequency has literally frozen my lungs and I need a second before actually looking at his beautiful face.

To my surprise, he's not looking at me – it's good. It's very good that he doesn't know it's me because when I came to tell Damon about Katherine tricking Stefan, Damon confused me for her and before I could even comprehend what was happening he was kissing me and Stefan was opening the door. So yes, it's very good… but it's also heartbreaking that Stefan can't tell me from Katherine like he used to.

"I'm sorry, Damon, I didn't realize Katherine was home." Stefan nods to me, giving me a very short bit of eye contact before looking back to Damon. "I can come back another time."

Damon rolls his eyes dramatically, then heads to the minibar – "Why all the drama, Stefan?" He pours one tumbler of whiskey, then another as he says, "Just talk, there is nothing she doesn't know." Offering Stefan the second glass.

"It's nothing," Stefan says, and when I look back to him, his eyes are on me – an angry glare. That intense stare that I've seen him use with Katherine before. The same look I'd felt almost jealous about because from the outside looking in, it's almost sexy – the focus, the depth of his dark green eyes. From this point of view, being Katherine, I know it's nothing like what I'd imagined. With the gravity and our frequency and his heavy stare I can hardly breathe from his anger. His rage… it's hate, not lust. "I just wanted to give you a gift." Reaching into his back pocket takes his eyes off of me and I can finally inhale – Damon cuts his eyes over to me and I fear that my breath was audible… a gasp almost. "For you guys to get what you need for the baby." Stefan adds with a roughness to his voice, sitting a folded check on the sofa table then taking the whiskey from Damon.

Quickly, in one large gulp, Stefan drinks it down as Damon immediately begins to object almost as soon as he picks up the check.

"No way. Stefan. I cannot take this money from you. It's too much." Damon folds it back, extends his hand to Stefan but he steps back, shaking his head.

"It's the least I can do, Damon."

In cynical tone, Damon wiggles his eyebrows as he says, "A hundred thousand dollars is the _least_ you can do?"

Another step away, another quick look at me – Katherine – Stefan gives Damon a smile… that warm, caring, loving, smile that I adore, "Take it Damon, consider it my paying you back for every time you've had my back… even when I forced you."

Damon looks to me, a confused expression on his face, as Stefan leaves – nearly slamming the door shut behind him.

"What in the hell is he talking about?"

I know. I know Stefan… the words he chooses and the smiles he gives and the look in his eyes, I know him just as he knows me. I don't know why Stefan has started thinking about when he forced Damon to turn, but I am positive that is what he was referring to.

I shouldn't blow my cover – I made it! Damon and Stefan both believed I was Katherine… that was never the plan! I just wanted to come over and tell Damon the truth! But with the kiss and Stefan's ill-timed arrival, I had no other choice. I know I should continue with my role, find some reason to disappear, but I know Stefan so well and I can still feel our gravity and he's hurting. He's ashamed and he's upset and for the life of me I can't stop my feet from taking me to the door.

"Where are you going?" Damon calls to me as I open the door.

"Let me talk to him, okay?" I try a quick smile, but I'm so unconcerned with Damon right now that I have no idea if he even heard me before the door shuts and I'm running out towards Stefan.

I know he hears me. He's walking with those wide angry strides and completely square, tense shoulders – "Stefan! Stefan, wait!"

He stops dead in his tracks – almost mid-stride – turning to me with those burning green eyes and his perfectly shaped jaw flexed to the limit.

"Stefan… I –"

Interrupting me in a loud burst, he almost yells at me, "What!? What are you doing, Elena!?"

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	20. Chapter 20

**CHAPTER 20 – THE REAPING**

-Elena-

I know Stefan so well and I can still feel our gravity and he's hurting. He's ashamed and he's upset and for the life of me I can't stop my feet from taking me to the door.

"Where are you going?" Damon calls to me as I pull the heavy wooden door open and I'm chilled from the cool air and my eyes lose focus from the sudden change from light to dark… and I'm hit with that sharp, deep rooted frequency that I only feel with Stefan – angry Stefan.

"Let me talk to him, okay?" I try a quick smile, but I'm so unconcerned with keeping up my Katherine charade right now that I have no idea if he even heard me before the door shuts and I'm running out towards Stefan.

I know he hears me. He's walking with those wide determined strides and completely square, tense shoulders – "Stefan! Stefan, wait!"

He stops dead in his tracks – almost mid-stride – turning to me with those burning green eyes and his perfectly shaped jaw flexed to the limit.

"Stefan… I –"

Interrupting me in a loud burst, he nearly yells at me, "What!? What are you doing, Elena!?"

I freeze. Stopping quickly in the packed gravel with the cool night air going unnoticed due the fizzing of our gravity against my skin. He said Elena. He knew. Stefan knew it was me… the whole time. And now, under his heavy, hateful glare – those burning green eyes of his are honestly hurting me with the fury that I see in them.

I watch his perfect white teeth take hold of his perfect pink lip, his brow dip lower, crinkling the skin between his eyebrows… waiting for me to answer. My mind is blank. My heart is in my throat and even with Stefan looking at me like he hates me I know that he still _knows_ me, loves me – he feels me, the same way I feel him. Our gravity still remains. And like so many times before, my reaction is completely out of place and so incredibly wrong for the situation…

I want to smile. I want to wrap my arms around him and graze my smiling mouth against the warm skin of his neck and fall into his embrace and inhale his clean, Stefan scent – the fact that I know he's raging only reminds me of how his body heats with anger and I'm suddenly chilled to the bone and dying for his warmth. "Stefan."

"The makeup! You're hair!" Stefan shakes his hands at me – fingers wide spread, flexed. His voice loud, but obviously restrained from reaching a full on yell. Each word is bringing me down from my temporary high – from the joy of knowing that even through all of this Stefan and I are still connected by our frequency. "What is this, Elena? What did I just walk into?"

"Stefan, I was…" I was going to do what you asked me not to. I came over here for vengeance. I came over here without thinking about my appearance and without thinking about Stefan's only request… let him handle telling Damon. Ashamed of myself – of my very childish reaction to Katherine's very childish goading – I once again stay silent for too long.

When he steps back, opening the driver's door, I step forward and reach out to him – I'm met with a disgusted frown. A look that tells me that the last thing he wants is my hands on him. I hear Damon step out onto the walkway – watch Stefan's glassy eyes cut to his brother who is most likely staring at us with a very confused expression.

"Go on. Get your revenge." Stefan says quietly, an undertone of both fear and callousness as he looks down my body, then back to my eyes, adding, "Do you what you have to do…"

I just stand there. I watch him drive off. Frozen. Cold. Terrified of what he thinks he's seen.

"What was that?" Damon's suddenly next to me and his voice startles me, causing me to flinch away from him. "Relax," He says, rubbing my arm with the back of his fingers, a concerned look in those cold blue eyes, "it's just me, Katherine."

"Damon!" I groan, rolling my eyes at him and moving away from his unnerving touch – frustrated by this entire mess and the fact that even after eight years he can't tell Katherine and I apart. "I'm Elena!"

XXXXXXXXXXXX

-Damon-

Bonnie: We found the base board color, but only in gallons. Buy? $8 more.

Katherine will be back sometime late tonight and if everything goes right, I'll have the bedroom next to ours completely finished and ready for her to decorate. The baby has become our only topic of conversation and I remember her oohing and aweing over a nursery in one of the hundred magazines that she flips through – all whites and creams and sage green. Laying the dark hardwood will be the worst part, but Bonnie and Elena are coming over to help paint, so at least I'll have a couple of extra hands.

Damon: Can't you work your 'magic' and just take it?

Eight dollars is a lot of money for me right now – Hell you can't even buy diapers for eight bucks!

I know what you're thinking – Stefan's check. Right… He walked in on me kissing Elena and even through he knew that I thought she was Katherine, I wouldn't doubt if he canceled that fucking check the minute he drove off. I would have.

Elena said she would handle it – explaining to Stefan my mistake in identity – but something isn't fitting right. I mean, I get that they aren't on the best of terms right now, but even Stefan the martyr would have laid into me for kissing her… I plan on getting some more information from Elena when she and Bonnie get here with the paint.

After he tore out of here, leaving tire tracks in my front lawn mind you, Elena stayed and explained the best she could. Without thinking about her up-do and the heavy make-up, she had come over to ask me if I'd mind keeping Allie and Grayson when the editors she works for come up to take her and Stefan out to dinner next weekend.

I wasn't expecting anyone – let alone Elena – so when I saw the hair and I saw the ruby lips, I did what I always do and I kissed them. It was awkward for a while, but Elena and I got a lot of shit out on the table. From how honestly sorry I am that I kept quiet about my relationship with her mother – er, mothers – all the way to her apologizing to me for the Bonnie head trick in Thailand and the stunts she pulled way back when I was trying to win her over from my baby brother

I already knew that she felt bad about it – over the past couple of years Bonnie and I have become pretty decent friends now that I'm not a vampire and she's not a bitch all the time. One night, not long after we all turned out human, Katherine and Jeremy called it a night early and left Bonnie and I with a decanter of Hennessy and a big fire in the fireplace and everything pretty much came out. Everything I already knew I guess… all except for Bonnie's giggled, "I can't say I blame her… you would be a very hot distraction."

I like to blame it on the fact that not many people say even almost-nice things about me, but sometimes, out of the blue, I think of her saying that – all glassy eyed and lips wet and glowing skin in the fire-light, and I can't help but feel some pride.

Bonnie: No Damon. We can't steal it! Elena and I would not do well in jail…

I'm about to respond with a flirty text about my handcuffs or that I think she'd look pretty damn sexy in one of those orange jumpsuits, but the pounding of heavy boots up the stairs stops me as I recoil from the vision of Stefan's big ass feet scuffing up my floor.

I know it's Stefan – no one else I know would come in uninvited and unexpected has feet that big or less regard for my antique hardwood.

I type out a 'just get them then.' and look up just as he comes into the empty bedroom to find me sitting cross-legged in the floor. Something about his 'helping with a project' look cracks me up as I look him over and my laugh echos between the hallow walls of what will soon be my child's bedroom.

"What?" Stefan's voice is only half serious as he brushes down the lumberjack-like plaid button up shirt. "We're painting and ripping up the floor…" He almost laughs when he adds, "this is the proper attire, Damon."

I guess I'm finally learning to keep my rabid thoughts to myself, because even though I want to give him shit about his sudden change in plans, I toss him a crow bar instead – I'm just happy he's here… I can use a break later on to find out about last night's Elena/Katherine debacle, as well as who Caroline roped into driving around looking at wedding locations.

-Bonnie-

Elena is texting on her phone as I finish up our fast food order, reminding me of the time once more as we slowly creep up towards the window to pay.

"I won't be able to stay long… my appointment with the realtor is at two." She says absentmindedly… still texting.

Elena and I have loaded up my SUV with things from Damon's list – two different shades of cream paint, a white, a sage green, about six different types of brushes, plastic for the floor, special painters tape, buckets, edgers, rollers, pans, pan liners and so on and so forth… on top of that, Elena and I pitched and bought some lunch since we're about three hours late.

I've been really good! I haven't asked her about the all night laptop sessions, or the disappearing act last night, but when I try to hand her one of the bags of food so I can grab our drinks from the window person, Elena is yet again typing away on her Iphone and it just goes all over me… and by 'it' I mean thick, ugly, green jealousy!

Finally she sees the bag out of the corner of her eye and after a bit of careful balancing and rearranging, we're on our way to the Salvatore house and I'm about to burst!

"So…" Isn't that how any and every bitchy conversation starts? "Are you going to tell me where you were last night… or do I have to guess?" I sure hope that my voice didn't come out as crass as I'm feeling.

Elena laughs, tucking her phone back into her bag, "Last night… wow, what a mess that was!"

I just know she's going to say she was with Damon. I just know it.

"I went to see Damon…" Of course you did, Elena!

"oh?" Fake surprise through a very false smile… I'm possessive over Damon. Wow, look at how the world has suddenly flipped! I HATE DAMON -I remind myself silently.

"Yea… I don't know what I was thinking. I mean, I do… I was going to get back at Katherine by ruining things with her and Damon, but the second I stepped into the house I regretting coming at all… I mean, who would I really be hurting? Damon."

I nod, shrug – still tense from what I fear I'm about to hear. "And you two have really got close again, huh?"

"Who?" Out of the corner of my eye I see Elena frown at me, "Damon and me? Uhh, no."

"Elena…" I say her name like I say the names of kids in my class – that stretched out _I know you're lying you little turd_ way.

From her loud, almost shocked response, I know that Elena gets exactly what I'm suggesting "Bonnie! No, not at all!"

-Elena-

I don't know if I should be angry that Bonnie actually thought that I'd 'swing back to the older brother' or if I should just laugh. I mean, I don't have a great track record, but that was like a decade ago! After explaining in detail about my 'late night laptop sessions' and my 'relentless texting' – to Pepper, I should add – Bonnie and I ride in silence for the last bit of the drive to the boarding house.

By the time we pull to a stop, I'm fully aware of the irony of this whole ordeal… my husband & my best friend both believe me to be so weak-willed that they think I'd run to Damon at the first sign of problems. UGH. I guess my reputation needs repaired even more so than I'd realized.

"Are we okay, Elena?" Bonnie asks, putting the transmission in park and flashing me her round, puppy-hazel eyes and wide smile. "I didn't mean to be offensive… I just…"

I guess I'm getting tired of having this bad reputation, because instead of defaulting to my same ole 'yea, we're fine', I open my mouth to tell her just how hurtful it is to know that she was convinced that I was spending hours chatting with Damon and that I'd snuck off to see him last night – but before I can actually wind myself up to the point that I can confront her, Damon is at the front door.

Bonnie rolls her eyes at his aggravated expression, stepping out of the drivers side and holding up a coke as she says, "We're late – true. But, we brought lunch!"

Grabbing the bags of food, I step out of the car and get a strange… sensation, maybe? I can't think of the word… but it's that chest pressure, storm-is-a-brewing feeling.

"It's been three hours, Bonnie!" Damon groans, swinging the door open for us, then coming to start unloading the painting supplies, giving me a quick nod as he passes. "You'd better have filet migion in those bags and Cristal in the cups!"

It's good that he and I talked last night… I mean, it's bad that Stefan left thinking I was going to sleep with Damon. And it was really bad that he walked in and caught Damon kissing me, but like I told Damon, just as soon as I finish up with the realtor at my parents' house, I'm going to go to his apartment and explain.

"Elena?" Bonnie calls to me and I realize that I've been in a daze… standing at the threshold of the front door, bags in one hand, the other against my chest. "Are you okay?"

It's like I can't breathe all of a sudden… not easily at least. If you could imagine being squeezed by a strand of silk – or nearly crushed by warmth… I don't know how to explain it. And what's more I don't know why I –

"Elena," Stefan's deep, soothing voice slips into my ears and right into every single nerve of my body just as my eyes find him, stepping into the foyer. "Are you alright?"

I'll blame the hard cut of his sweaty chest and the flexed, shadowed muscles in his arms, but his name gets caught in my throat. With my Greek God of a man standing there like that, arms crossed – slightly dirty, sweaty from work, a shirt tied around his waist; what should be an easy word, a word I've said a hundred thousand times in a hundred thousand ways, sticks to my vocal chords and tangles with my tongue. The croaking sound that escapes my mouth when paired with my hand on my chest and the big eyed, surprised look on my face must be the same type of expression one has when suffering a heart attack and within seconds, Stefan, Bonnie, and Damon are all fawning over me and ushering me to take a seat.

Embarrassed – or maybe ashamed by the incredible want I have for him – I keep my eyes on the floor as they dote around me and I repeat "I'm fine. I'm okay. Really. I'm okay. I'm fine." Over and over until they finally disperse a bit – all but Stefan. Stefan stays near – stays close enough to keep that frequency tight against me and my skin tingling for his touch. Without looking up, I sense his eyes on me and like the dumb girl I am, I sit up straighter, toss my hair over my shoulders in that casual – hey, I'm sexy – way, crossing my legs and tugging at the short jeans shorts that I thought I'd be wearing to paint… not to be caught up in his green gaze.

"You're chicken filet." Bonnie smiles, handing me a wrapped up sandwich and my Dr. Pepper. "Sorry, Stefan –" She turns to him and when I feel his eyes leave me, I find the moment of relief I need to look at him.

Have I mentioned that he's absolutely gorgeous?

"We didn't know you were here –" Ugh Bonnie! Like he's just put a puzzle together – my choking in his presence and the fact that he surprised me by being here – Stefan's eyes cut to me for the slightest of seconds, before returning to Bonnie and a soft, half smile forming from his lips. "We would have got you something."

I watch him lick his lips – an attempt to get rid of that knowing smile, fully aware of the affect he has on me – then begin to turn away from me, towards the kitchen, as he says, "It's okay – I can round something up I'm sure."

"Or, uh – um." I'm an idiot. Ugh. Get it together, Elena. "I wont eat all of this and the fries…" That half smile turns to a full-on grin, "…we can share...ya know, I mean. If you want to."

I'm probably just reading into his evergreen eyes and the way he says it, but I shiver from the way my imagination runs away with itself, twisting his words, when he looks right into my brown eyes gazing up at him like he's a God, and says, "Of course I want to."

-Stefan-

After spending twenty minutes sitting very close to her, with Elena's warm skin brushing against mine, the aroma of her shampoo bringing forth memories of the many many nights I've slept with my face buried in her long, soft hair, and sharing a small order of fries and half of a grilled chicken sandwich over short, shy glances and soft smiles, I'm hungry – and I mean that in every way you can possibly define it.

As we worked, Damon explained the mix up – and though she told him she'd come over to discuss him babysitting for us next weekend, there is a certain look of shame that holds Elena's face when she's guilty… it's a look that I am all to familiar with unfortunately – and it was the look that she gave me as I confronted her last night. So, she may not have been here to pretend she was Katherine, but she wasn't making a friendly visit either.

"Oh Elena! It's twenty til!" Bonnie shrieks, looking over Damon's shoulder and checking the time on his cell phone. "You need to go!"

As if we'd been in some secluded bubble, the instant Elena jumps to her feet, I feel detached from her… our moment of reverie found over a fast food lunch dissipating into reality.

"Damon, I am so sorry!" Elena sighs, slipping her messenger bag over her shoulder. "I really want to help but I'm supposed to go see a realtor about a um," Looking down at me, it's like we reconnect – just a little bit – when she says, "a house."

"Elena!" Damon grunts her name, wiggling his eyebrows at her like he does, "I've got like six hours to get this done and your running out on me!"

His frustrated begging doesn't seem to bother her in the least, heading towards the door sending back another quick apology – our already weak gravity getting only more fragile as she goes.

"We can get it, Damon." I try to sound cool – like I'm not really disappointed that she's leaving. Disappointed that I'm not going to be able to spend a few hours with her – feeling the push/pull of her body and mine. I mean, I know we wouldn't be able to talk – really talk about us and what's going on, not with Damon and Bonnie here – but I just enjoy being near her. I love her to the point that her presence settles me in a way that no alcohol ever could. "It won't take more than a couple hours now that we finished the floor."

"Keys!" Bonnie calls with a smile and I notice that she and Damon are sitting closely – almost, too close. When she moves to her knees to toss Elena the keys she almost loses her balance and falls into him – his hand steadying her hip the only thing that keeps her from it.

I spend a moment recalling the last time I noticed their close proximity – their inside jokes, their playful banter – pulled from my memories of my last good day with Elena by her very voice saying my name.

"Stefan…" When I look to her, she's doing that school-girl stance thing she does when she knows she's cute and she knows she's got me wrapped around her finger. "Do you want to come?"

Do I want to spend some alone time with my wife as she gives a look over to the house that I know she's dreamt of spending her life in… of course I do. No matter how angry I am or how hurt, I love her.

***MORE TO COME***

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	21. Chapter 21

**CHAPTER 21 – THE REAPING**

-Caroline-

Seriously! Could this have happened at a worse freaking time!

I mean, don't get me wrong, if I thought even for a second that something was wrong with the baby, or me, or that the extremely sharp pains that keep shooting from the small of my back and down by legs, around my stomach… O.M.G they hurt! If I thought it was anything to be concerned about, I'd stop pouting and huffing and begging Klaus to go back to the Warwick Manor to seal the deal… but it's nothing! It's noth-thing!

We were just about to commit to the fifth wedding site we'd toured. Klaus was doing his last bit of wheeling and dealing while I listened to his uber-sexy voice and pictured our beautiful wedding in the courtyard and the huge reception in the historic barn, when BAM, my high heel pokes into the damp ground of Warwick's back lawn and before I can get a word out Klaus is hovering – smothering! – over me and the venue has called an ambulance and I'm being heaved around by a couple of guys that I remember from high school as Klaus looks like he's about to pass out with worry.

"They're going to close for the day, Nik." I don't know why, but whenever I start to get desperate for him to do something, I start calling him by the many different versions of his name.

Like he hasn't heard me, Klaus flips a page of the outdated Fortune Magazine that he picked up in the waiting room before we were moved to this curtained triage room more than an hour ago… either he's suddenly become the slowest reader in the world, or my husband is ignoring my nagging. "... Niklaus, please." I frown out his name and he cracks in the slightest when I see his kool-aid red lips curl up at the corners – holding back a smile. "Someone else may come along and snatch up our weekend!"

"Darling, no business in the world would toss away a weekend desired by a pregnant woman who fell on their property." Glancing up at me, I see a twinkle in his eyes that may as well be the shape of a dollar sign, "…if anything, we may get a discount in hopes of keeping us from taking legal action." And a full smile takes control of his handsome face as he most likely runs though quick calculations of how much money my too-tight heels and swollen feet have just saved us.

I'm just about to try again – I can feel my tongue forming into yet another nickname – when the curtain slides back and I'm face to face with none other than Dr. Meredith Fell and that still very familiar look of panic one gets when they look at you and know you're a vampire.

She even sucks in a sharp inhale when her heavy lashed brown eyes spot Klaus – the infamous big bad of Mystic Falls.

I wish Klaus didn't enjoy that reaction so much… I love him – endlessly, I love him. But something about the way enjoys the fear his presence instills in those who are, or were, aware of what we were… I feel a bit of disappointment from the reminder that he used to be bad – no, the worst of us all.

"Klaus." His name slips from her lips in that same fearful way that I can remember saying his name so many years ago.

Just before she completes her step back – away from us, away from the vampires - Klaus grabs her wrist in a tight fist that presses into her skin.

"Easy, love." He hisses through his grin, "easy."

"Meredith, no, no it's okay." I give my best smile – praying that she'll see I'm fangless and my stomach is bulbous with pregnancy and there is no way we can be what she thinks we still are. "I'm _just Caroline_." My voice is all smooth and calm, like I'm talking someone off of a ledge. "and Klaus is _just Klaus._" Using the actual word – vampire – never a good idea in Mystic Falls. "We aren't…" widening my eyes, nodding my head a bit, "not anymore."

She stares at me a bit more, then back at Klaus who has backed off and backed away just enough to let her calm down, but staying close enough to catch her should she try to bolt again.

"I don't understand." Dr. Fell frowns, finally catching sight of my belly. "How in the…" Like the scared human girl was suddenly overpowered by a medical professional, she takes a large stride around to the side of the bed and where there was once fear in her eyes is now more of a look of shock. Amazement.

Yes. I'm pregnant… and that stunning man over there happens to be the father - I know, I'm totally ridiculous for thinking things like that, but I can't help it and stretch out a bit in order for Dr. Fell to get a better look at my large five month pregnant body.

"Miss Forbes –" She starts, her hands squeezing and kneading my belly, but Klaus interrupts her.

"Mikaelson." Such a douche bag move that is… but come on, what girl doesn't want her husband to be so proud of her being his wife that he makes that correction without hesitation?

Giving a slightly-irritated nod, "Mrs. Mikaelson," She starts again, "Why aren't you seeing your regular OB today? Are they unavailable?"

I give a quick explanation about our wedding and how we almost had the perfect place but might lose it now and how we need to get out of here asap in order to put the deposit down before they close and we have to make yet another trip from Dallas to spend a whole day looking at venues –

"You traveled? This far along?" Meredith asks, flipping through my chart with a furrow in her brow.

"She's only five months." Klaus correct s her, not liking her condescending tone. "Traveling is safe well into the third trimester, Dr. Fell."

All of a sudden, the cocky doctor I remember from way back – the one who drank Alaric under the table and looked all of us vampires right in the eyes when she took our blood – she's back. Flipping her long dark hair from her shoulders, Meredith puts her hand on her hip and cocks the metal clipboard to her side as she gives us a quick reality check, "You really think two people, such as yourselves…" people who used to be vampires, one of us who is still a werewolf, she means. "… can use standard medical expectations?"

Hmm. I hadn't thought of that… now the pain shooting into my abdomen is much more worrisome. Much more painful too, and I double over into my lap as I'm hit with another stabbing through my muscles… a contraction.

Jotting something onto my file, she talks like she's just giving me a quick weather report when she says, "You aren't going anywhere tonight, Caroline… I think you may be in labor."

-Stefan-

The drive from my old home to Elena's old home is less than ten minutes. You'd think that two people who've spent so many years together, in one way or another, would have more to talk about than the light, egg-shell topics of small talk.

"The weather is unseasonably warm for mid-April, huh?"

"Did you notice that little drug store on Main Street closed down?"

"Bonnie says that the school carnival has been moved to the spring now… Allie will love that!"

In the ten minute drive we've covered those few things, as well as Damon's decent choice of colors for the nursery and my good decision to borrow a shirt from him to wear to see the house. When we pull up to the front of Elena's childhood home, my stomach tightens from a thousand memories of her that make me feel happy and sad at the same time. I don't realize it for a moment as I'm looking away from her and away from the house, but I suddenly feel her looking at me and turn my head to face her.

She's as beautiful as I can ever remember – her amber brown eyes no less captivating now that the first time I was caught by her gaze.

"Last night." She starts, picking at her fingernails in her lap nervously. "What you think you saw…"

Like I've just lost all of my energy, my head falls back against the headrest… I'm exhausted. Keeping myself away from Elena is physically exhausting for me – fighting gravity is not natural. "I know, Elena," My fatigue is evident in my hoarse, quiet voice."Damon explained that he made a mistake…" I leave out the part about Damon telling me that I need to quit being a jackass - be 'the man' and 'put my foot down' about Elena and the kids moving out of Bonnie's and into my apartment. What Damon doesn't know is, this separation was all my doing – my choice… this IS me putting my foot down.

Elena releases a heavy sigh, telling me she's been just as nervous about this discussion as I have.

I almost jump, startled by her forwardness, when I feel her hand slip over mine resting on my leg – keeping my cool, I hold my breath instead.

No matter how old I get, I don't think I'll ever be able to control these raging hormones that her tough sets loose into my body.

_I love her_.

"I love you, Stefan." And those hormones are immediately increased tenfold with the absorbing of her words into my skin. "I'm tired of this… of being away from you."

_I am too._

"I can't sleep without you. I don't like to be awake when you're not with me. I hate every minute of the day…"

_Elena, me too. I can't stand this. _

"I know that I messed up. I know that what I did…" I have to force my eyes to stay open when her thumb grazes across the top of my hand. The nerves of my skin have been deprived of her and our gravity and this warm frequency for so long now that the rush of it is intoxicating. "… how I did it… Stefan, I know that I hurt you and I am so sorry."

_I love you. Let's buy this house. Move in tomorrow. Let's make love in every room and never leave the bed. _

I have hundreds of things I want to say to her… but I stay quiet. Living in the moment – in our frequency and her apology and her small hand laying atop mine – I stay quiet too long.

The knocking on the driver's side window shatters our solitude and startles us both.

"Mr. and Mrs. Salvatore!" The realtor calls, dropping a cigarette onto the sidewalk and exhaling a southern drawl 'hello' of smoke.

-Damon-

I've been working on this room for more than seven hours now – I'd primered the walls and removed all of the fixtures, hung the chandler, and pulled up the base boards before Stefan showed up. The hardwood was the hardest task and we did a great job, but I'm having a difficult time keeping up pace with Bonnie. Thankfully, she's pretty easy to work with and so long as there is music playing and I keep her tumbler filled with that cheap, fruity, grocery store wine that she likes, she doesn't seem to mind that I keep taking breaks.

"Another?" She laughs as I come back into the room with our third bottle, her arm never ceasing in it's up and down painting motion – determined little thing.

I shrug and hope she doesn't think it's weird that since Thanksgiving two years ago, when I learned how much she liked this crap, I've kept it in stock right along side the bottles of wine five times more expensive – Katherine's wine.

"Consider it fuel." I tease, filling her glass, then pressing the chilled bottle against her bare arm – it's hot in here with the window's open and the ac off. I'd never noticed how smooth her skin was until a little earlier. She was bending over, rolling the paintroller in pan and her tied up shirt moved further up her back – exposing that soft dip of a woman's back. I suddenly had an overwhelming craving for a cappuccino…

Or sex.

"The only time wine has been fuel for me was when I was about to get laid!" Bonnie giggles, still painting.

Now I know for sure which I am craving and it has nothing to do with hot liquids… well, not caffeinated ones, atleast.

"So…" Changing the subject and taking my eyes off of her outstretched body, "You and Katherine haven't been spending much time together?"

Bonnie turns on that chill – that off putting attitude that she had towards me for the majority of the time I've known her. It tells me that she's pissed at Katherine for something even though she gives me some bullshit line about being busy with work and school, and Elena and Stefan's drama. By the time she finishes with her crap load of an excuse, I remember why it is she and I never hooked up.

It's been a few years since I've seen this side of her, but I can't stand it anymore than I could back then. I miss the other side of her – the one that laughs at my jokes and teases me and banters back and forth like a damn tennis player – so I let her lie go without prying.

After a few minutes of silence, I've started painting again and she's singing along with the radio – when it gets to a part I know, I do the guys 'MmmHmm' and by the second chorus we've stopped painting and she's prancing around, half singing, half dancing, and I'm playing air guitar and going along with our impromptu dance number.

"You'll have to seduce me, nibble and bite!" She sings and you know what, I do it. I bite her… it's just her shoulder, I couldn't have picked a less suggestive place, but I gotta say, I liked the taste of her salty skin in my mouth and her giggle in my ear.

Who knows – had this version of Bonnie been around seven years ago, Stefan and I might have never of fought over Elena. We could have dated best friends…

"Oh, I think I love you." We mouth together with the song just before I twirl her back and the song fades out into something by a European guy, British, or Irish maybe – I can't tell the difference between the two.

The sexy song is over and this one is a lot more… I don't know, but it makes that light feeling in the room transform into that 'we probably shouldn't have done that' awkwardness.

Out of habit, I guess, she brings up Katherine.

"So… I guess she's really excited about the baby?"

"Yea." I sigh, running my hand through my own hair instead of slipping it through hers. "We'd tried for a long time… guess I proved that doctor in Charlotte wrong." I'm probably reading her wrong, but I think she's got her hands deep in the pockets of her shorts for the same reason why I have my arms crossed. I look at her too long – probably in an odd way – and she turns away stiffly, then back the other way. "This is a good song."

Feeling like an idiot, I lick my lips and fucking hell I taste her salty skin again.

"It's Ed Sheeran. This." We stay still – too still – listening…

This is the start  
Of something beautiful  
This is the start of something new

"Fitting, isn't it?" She smiles a nervous smile with sparkling eyes and wine wet lips.

You are the one who'd make me lose it all  
You are the start of something new

And I'll throw it all away  
And watch you fall into my arms  
Again  
And I'll throw it all away and watch you fall  
Now

_Holy shit…_ "Is it?" I don't know if I want her to say what I think she's going to say or if I want Stefan to start clomping up the staircase right fucking now.

She and I have evolved into a flirty friendship… friendship. Right? It's a friendship. She's married to that fuckhead and I'm whatever I am with Katherine – we're having a baby for fucking sake!

"Um yea… I mean." Awkward step. Changing the paint brush from one had to the other. "I mean, with the baby you know. A new start of something beautiful… you know."

I don't sigh – not out loud. Internally I sigh.

I don't want to face that fork in the road… mainly because I don't know which way I'd go. I'm not nearly as good of a man as Stefan and if he's fucking around on Elena, I don't have much hope.

"Oh right." I laugh, I notice that I'm not a fluid in my movements either… the awkwardness still holding steady in the room. "Yea, of course." Hoping to ease it up a little, I try a joke. "This will probably be our only kid seeing as how it was medically impossible for me to have kids… so it better be a good one."

"What?" Bonnie asks – I think maybe she misunderstood, so I repeat it again. Surely Katherine told her best friend that the doctor said our conception problems were my fault… "Damon, you know I'm a witch, right?"

Confused as to why she doesn't seem to know this information, I just give a quick nod – how the hell could I forget that she is a witch?

"Then why didn't you come to me? I could have helped you!" I must be looking at her with a scrunched up face because she continues without me having to ask for more information. "Things like that are right up my ally! Not fighting originals and giving migraines to vampires!" We both laugh – her more so than me, as I clearly remember the many times she' blew up my brain. I'm about to ask her a question, I'm not sure what, but she speaks first, "I can help you now…"

-Elena-

Okay. So I chose a bad time to start in on my apology… but Stefan just smells so… so, so Stefan! Clean and warm, somewhere between that welcoming scent of a bookstore and fresh laundry, and skin. Being closed up in a car with him just a few inches away, I couldn't stop myself.

"You two are going to love this house!" Margo raises up her arms in a Price is Right kind of way, framing my parents home with her long, too tan arms as we walk onto the porch. "It's four bedrooms. More than 2400 square feet, and the owners are eager to sell!"

"Why?" I ask abruptly. Margo looks perturbed that I interrupted her while Stefan gives a half smile without really looking at me – he can hear the shock in my voice, he knows what I'm thinking – _Why would anyone not want to live here?_

"Oh well, it's an investment company – they had plans to flip the house but with the economy crashing like it did, I don't think they ever touched the home at all." Margo says emotionless while the thought of my home sitting empty for the past three years weighs my heart – heavy and sad as she opens the door and the stale scent of dust and still-air is released into my nostrils. I inhale deeply – filling my lungs completely to the brim with memories of my life… before.

Before my parents died.

Before Stefan.

Before Damon.

Before vampires and originals and Katherine and tombs and witches and werewolves and blood rituals and curses… before.

Mindlessly, I follow Margo inside and she's rattling of the general stats as I trail behind her - step after step, the gravity pulling against me getting weaker until I realize that Stefan is outside… at the door step.

"Stefan?" I smile, give a small laugh. "What are you doing… come in." His green eyes are blazing bright, his head title slightly down, looking at me through his dark lashes. That half smile still on his face as he leans against the door frame.

"You never look more beautiful than when you're happy, Elena." An my grin grows so wide that my cheeks hurt and my eyes squint as I feel my face flush under his gaze.

It's only a few seconds that we stand like that – with our frequency weaving through us, sharing a quiet moment. "Come on you two, let me show you the kit-"

"Margo," Stefan stands straight as he interrupts the realtor. "We know the house very well, Elena's parent's owned the home prior to the investment company you mentioned." Very politely, yet sternly, Stefan places his hand on Margo's shoulder, leading her towards the door as he says, "I'd appreciate it if you could give us a moment alone – to look over the condition. If all checks out, we can complete the purchase this afternoon."

The idea of a commission lights up Margo's pale face and she doesn't push back a bit as Stefan ushers her onto the porch and closes us in the house.

My house.

… our house.

I smile at him. A smile that says Thank you. I love you. You're amazing.

Giving me a barely there nod as he crosses his arms over his chest, I take his suggestion to look around and resist kissing him… resist my urge to wrap my body up with his and end this separation right here at the bottom of the stairs.

"Holler if you need anything!" Margo yells through the closed door, breaking up my thoughts and giving Stefan a chuckle.

Still, when I pass him to go upstairs, I let my body graze against his back as I move up the first stair - shivering from his warm skin and the pulsing vibration of our gravity.

The sixth step still squeaks.

The banister is still a little wobbly at the top of the staircase… I hear Stefan step on the squeaky step just as I crest at the top and immediately move into my old bedroom.

If we buy the house, I guess this room will be Allie's and Stefan and I – or maybe just me – would take the master, but for right now, this empty room with the off white walls and caramel colored flooring… with Stefan standing in the door way and my imagination filling up the room just the way it was when I left it – right now this is still my room.

The bathroom is the same… exactly the same.

And Jeremy's room… the last time I was I here…  
My eyes find their way to the floor and within a second or two I find the cracked board and I can almost feel the rage coming off of Stefan's body after Jeremy tried to stake him and Bonnie sat and watched.

"That night…" I start talking without looking to see if Stefan is behind me – I know he is because I feel him near. "I knew I loved you. I'd known for days… I was so scared of it though." I turn to face him and he's looking at the cracked board. I wish he'd look at me… in my eyes… right into me. I miss that. The way he'd look at me like I was clear as glass – like he understood every thought in my mind.

"You were scared of me." Stefan's voice is quiet – unreadable. I don't know if that was a statement or a question.

Sticking to my own promise to be more assertive with Stefan, I step into his gaze, "No. I was scared of the way I loved you so much in just a couple of weeks." Still, even with me standing in his way, Stefan's eyes are cut away. "I was scared of you once. One time… when you told me that you were a vampire. But even then, Stefan, I knew I loved you and I knew you wouldn't hurt me…" I reach for his face but his lips press tight when he sees me moving to touch him – I settle for placing my hands on his chest. I don't know if it's a good sign or bad, but his heart is beating hard and fast beneath my open palm – vibrating through my fingertips. "I wish we could start over, Stefan. I wish we could erase all the times that we've hurt each other and all the doubts that shadow in your mind about how much I love you."

"Hello?" Margo's raspy voice calls from downstairs.

"We can't, Elena…" Stefan sighs, looking down at my hand on his chest, then stealing a quick look at my face before moving his gaze somewhere over my shoulder. "You've got to learn to love me with all of those things. Despite those things."

"Mr. Salvatore?"

"Stefan." I frown, frustrated with his resistance, with the fact that I'm not getting him to budge at all! "Stefan, I do-"

His phone rings and instantly he breaks away from me – seemingly relieved for the excuse to break up our conversation.

"Klaus, hey." Stefan says in a heavy exhale and I can see him actually relaxing.

How funny – things have really changed if I make Stefan tense and upset and Klaus calms him down. Great. Things are really looking up… ugh.

Margo comes to the top of the stairs with a hopeful smile on her face and a stack of paperwork in her hand as Stefan's tone turns heavy and concerned.

"What? – Okay. – is she…– I'll be right there."

"I hope everything is okay." Margo gives him a nervous look as he passes me – a soft touch on my lower back as he walks by.

"Caroline's in the hospital, she may be in labor." He says, already trotting down the stairs in that quick step way that he does – naturally athletic, his boots pounding loud in the silent house. "I have to go."

I'm a terrible person… a terrible friend… my first thought is, _There he goes, choosing her over me._

But, I know I'm at least improving because instead of pointing it out to him – pouting, I follow him down the stairs.

"Take my car. I'll call Jeremy." I give my best smile, despite my disappointment that he's leaving. That I just give a valiant, yet unsuccessful, effort at repairing what I broke. Taking my keys, his hand rests in mine for just a bit longer than necessary… I know he needs to go, I know he wants to be with Caroline, but I feel my mouth moving before I can shut it up. "Stefan?"

He stops, one leg in the car, one leg still on the pavement, looking back at me with his eyes dark in the dim sunset light, his skin a polished ivory – beautiful in every way.

"Are you…" the words stick in my throat – scared of the answer, "are we over? Really?"

I don't want to believe it – or even think it – but he's being so cold to me, stone walling my every attempt. Even now, with me flat out asking him and with tears in my eyes from the thought, Stefan just frowns and shakes his head.

"Then show me something. Give me something, Stefan." God, I hate how my voice breaks like this. I just want to sound strong and not sound so desperate, so in need…. But I am. I'm desperate for him. "I know you're still mad and you're upset and you have every right to be, but Stefan, break a little… please, give me something. It's killing me…"

I think for a moment that he may just leave me there – begging him. But then he pulls his leg out of the car – stands still.

Closes the door. Stands still.

When he looks at me – looks right into my eyes, his dark green into my brown, I feel a bit of life in me that had been dormant since that afternoon in Bonnie's living room.

It gives me just enough strength to try one more time, in a whisper, nearly silent I say "Please, Stefan."

Closing the short distance between us with just two strides, his callused fingers slip into my hair, his thumbs grazing softy against my cheeks – my hands finding their favorite spot on each side of his waist, low on his body. It's not a wild, passionate kiss… it's not something you'd see in a movie or read about in a Nicholas Sparks book, but when Stefan's soft lips barely graze across mine – applying the slightest amount of pressure – a barely there kiss that makes me thirsty for his saliva, I feel my knees actually weaken. I feel the equivalent of an earthquake tremble through our bodies and through our frequency. This small kiss – it's everything.

Stefan must feel the same zapping of energy as his forehead rests against mine and I feel his chest rise and fall drastically.

This is the closest we've been in weeks – touching him, touching me, breathing in one another's breaths, our gravity thick and encompassing. I don't want it to end. I want to stand here in the front yard at sundown with Stefan's hands holding my face and his nose touching my nose forever.

But he moves away – his nose, his forehead, then his body and his hands slip from my face… I think I might sit down and cry. I think I might just crumble… but Stefan always has perfect words at perfect times.

Taking my hand in his, he lifts my fingers to his lips, placing a kiss on my knuckles and letting his lips graze against my skin as he says, "Just because I'm not talking to you… telling you how much I miss you, it doesn't mean I'm not thinking of you, missing you, every minute of the day."

One more kiss on my fingers, then he goes to the car and leaves me standing there full of hope and buzzing with love and ready to fight for us.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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	22. Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22 – THE REAPING  
_(Happy Birthday, Notorrious! Thanks for reading!)_

Meredith and Stefan talk -

Caroline baby, Stavros Matthew Mikaelson

Bonnie replays afternoon with Damon

Elena and Stefan argue a bit about his relationship with Caroline

-Stefan-

Times like these I wish Caroline was just a little bit less hard headed.

Five hours and four cups of coffee after Klaus and I finished trying to talk Caroline into getting an epidural and I can hear her screaming from more than thirty yards away. Screaming out hoarse pleas that bounce off of the white walls and tiled floors and rattle into my teeth as she asks for pain killers.

Waiting in the hallway as I try to give them some privacy, I know this headache is from hunger and nerves, but it's growing stronger with each cry as I can't do anything to help and I hate feeling helpless when it comes to those I love. It's funny – for most of my life that list consisted of only two people, one of which I would have denied… Lexi and Damon. Today, my life is filled to the brim with people I can't image losing… Elena, Allie, Grayson, Damon, Caroline, Lola, Liam, Bonnie… maybe even Klaus.

With the pending birth of Caroline's baby, and Katherine's, the list is ever-growing.

Thankfully, Elena had to have a c-section with Grayson so it was pretty easy going – But I can promise you, if it was Elena in there screaming, crying and pleading with the hospital staff as they tell her she's waited too long to get the drugs, I wouldn't be able to contain myself. They'd probably have to escort me out of this place.

Caroline is my best friend in the world – I have a hard time admitting it, but she may be an even closer friend to me than Lexi. Lexi was something different – out of this world, inexplicable. I used to think we were the best of friends, but looking back it was very one-sided. She didn't _need_ me. I needed her. I needed her guidance, her controlling ways to lead me, I needed some of the never-failing confidence that she had in me to spill over and resonate inside of me. Lexi really didn't get anything from our relationship… she _wanted_ to spend her time – years and years – with me, saving me from myself.

Lost in memories of Lexi, I snap out of an unfocused stare at the floor when the door to Caroline's room opens and Dr. Fell steps out – calmly tossing a few orders over her shoulder as she turns on a dime and starts down the hall towards me in a quick click-clacking gate– her attention on the clipboard in her hands.

"I'm sorry, excuse me," My voice sounds graveled, quite rough from lack of use… maybe from missing Lexi, but the look in Dr. Fell's eyes causes me a bit of concern – clearing my throat and stepping back as not to block her path just in case she is taking my rough voice as threatening.

With a quick look down me, back to my face, her unreadable expression breaks into a large smile when she recognizes me and says, "Stefan Salvatore…" in a tone of voice that makes me smile. "My very own hero... How are you?"

"I'm good." I laugh, thankful that Klaus and Caroline already had the 'we aren't going to kill you' conversation with her – shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans as I notice her dark brown eyes and thick lashes and register her flirty words. "Worried about Caroline…"

"She's in good hands." Dr. Fell smiles, rubbing my upper arm as a sign of support… I think. "The OB on call is a really great doctor – thousands of deliveries! Out of the entire staff, Dr. Harrison would be my choice if I were pregnant."

Her sentence is barely finished before Caroline's voice fills the hallway – a screeching 'Oh my God!' with elongated vowels.

I cringe. A shudder running through my body from the sound of pain in her voice. "Tell me it sounds worse than it really is…"

Laughing at my reaction – a sweet, carefree kind of laugh that crinkles up a few fine lines on the corners of her eyes and stretches her full, cranberry colored lips across perfect white teeth – Dr. Fell shakes her hair from her shoulders as an answer to my ignorant question.

"No…" Her hand moves to my shoulder blade, guiding me to turn with her and the thought crosses my mind that I should move away. "Sorry, Stefan, but it's only going to get worse. Come on, I'm on lunch." I step away as casually as I can but continue walking with her. "I'll tell you all the gory details over a plate of cafeteria food."

-Katherine-

"How much did you spend on this, Damon?" I'm trying. I really am. But lets face it, I'm a bitch when things aren't going the way I want them to so when I spend a useless twenty-four hours in that hick-ville of a town with nothing more than a sage blanket with a white S monogramed on it and a couple of god-awful nursing bras – walking into this ancient, dusty mausoleum of a house smelling like paint and saw dust and Damon still smelling like a wet dog from working on the nursery, I'm not exactly in the best of moods.

He's wearing that 'I'm just a little boy' smile and twinkle in his eyes – I've always hated this look on him. "Just under five-hundred' dollars." Damon grins, passing by me as he enters the nursery, his hand against my hip makes me want to smack him. "Stefan and I put the floor down ourselves, then Bonnie helped with painting." Pointing up like I should find a Jonathan Adler chandler – all big eyed and proud – I roll my eyes and exhale a heavy sigh at the cheap, opal glass-imitation light fixture hanging over us.

I can imagine The Fancy, Our-Shit-Doesn't-Stink Mikaelson's snarling at the few blotched spots of paint on the ceiling, pursing their lips at the knock off furniture and décor that I'll have to settle for since Damon doesn't have the funds to buy the things my baby deserves.

The entire drive back to this hell of a town I kept thinking about how much nicer life would have been if Stefan and I had ended up together… he's got the money, the drive to make more… and let's face it, I'll never find another man more suited to my body between the sheets. I am drowning in hormones and thinking of Stefan Salvatore is like tossing a lit match on turpentine – Maybe that's why I'm in such a bitchy mood. My quick stop by Jeremy's was useless as he finished before me and now I'm even more horny _and_ I smell like that high school football coach stink that he has.

"What?" Damon asks, eyebrows raised. "It's exactly like in the magazine."

I can hear him trying to not get pissed off at me. It's a luxury of being pregnant… no one wants to be angry at an expecting mom. No one wants to be the asshole to make an expectant mother cry.

And you better believe I use that card often!

"And you think this is a good job?" I snarl, toeing a gap in the floor. Honestly, it probably not big enough to slip a penny in, but if he thinks that I'm going to raise my child – in a room put together by a couple of amateurs, he's never been more wrong. "If you didn't have the money to hire it out and have it done right, you should have just left it alone, Damon."

"Are you kidding me, Katherine?" He huffs, pulling up some of the paint cloth to give me a better look at the floor. "This looks fucking excellent! We worked our asses off all morning on this shit!"

"And the paint!" I laugh, changing the subject since really the floor does look pretty good. "This is much more sandy brown than I wanted!"

"It's the exact fucking color!" Damon groans, rolling his eyes and waggling his eyebrows, wrinkling up his sweaty forehead and making me want to vomit as he holds the magazine page in my face.

Shoving his hand away, I turn to leave.

"Katherine, what in the hell? I worked really hard to make this right for you – to surprise you…" Turning at the door, I find Damon standing slightly slumped over – tired from working and maybe tired of me. I don't know why I get like this… wanting to fight… but I can't help it and there is no use in acting like I'm going to change.

"I don't like surprises, Damon." I frown. "And I damn sure don't like Bonnie spending hours with you fixing up _our_ child's room."

I threw that part in just for kicks. Bonnie is absolutely no threat to me… or so I thought. I've known Damon for close to two-hundred years and as bad ass and tough guy as he wants to pretend he is, Damon is a sucker for love – attention… As I leave him standing there and I head to our room to shower off Jeremy's sweat, the look in his eyes is flickering in my brain – he's guilty about something. About something to do with Bonnie…

-Bonnie-

Lola is sitting outside of the bathroom door crying and hitting her big lego against the floor. I can hear Allie singing with her Minnie Mouse headphones on while Grayson and Liam are screaming in unison as Elena and Jeremy try to put them to bed… and me. Oh well, I'm closed up in here and wishing to God that my conscience wasn't so loud inside of my migraine riddled brain.

We really didn't do anything wrong.

Not really.

It was just so… ugh! I hate to use this word when talking about anyone other than Jeremy… but it was so intense. Suggestive!

I keep telling myself that I was just being a friend who's a witch and helping, but I don't know… I enjoyed having my hands on his body way too much.

And what's worse, I'm delighted to think that he enjoyed it just the same!

What kind of a wife am I? Fantasizing about Damon! For a long time now, for days after the four of use – me and Jeremy and Damon and Katherine – would hang out, I'd replay my interactions with Damon. Imagine his cocky smile and his bright eyes. Read into the things he said or the way he laughed at something I may have said or done. But that's just… that's just nothing. Right? Jer and I have been together for a really long time and I don't expect him to be blind to attraction from other women.

The problem… the problem is what happened earlier – before Elena called us about Caroline and looking for a ride. It crossed my mind – more than once – that Elena's phone call my have stopped Damon and I from crossing that line that cannot be undone.

Did he really need to lay down? With his shirt off? With his sexy chest and that little patch of soft, dark hair below his belly button… Stop it, Bonnie! Just STOP IT!

I can't stop thinking about him!

"Bonnie!" Jeremy's aggravated with the kids and with me for skipping out. "Are you coming out of there at all tonight?"

Looking in the mirror, I plan to give myself a 'get it together, girl' pep talk, but one glance and my eyes find my shoulder and I feel his mouth on me and I'm imagining his mouth in so many different ways.

I've got to tell Jeremy. I've got to come clean about my shameful desire for Damon Salvatore…

"Bonnie!" He yells again.

But not tonight…

Not while he's so aggravated and I'm still so on edge from doing real magic for the first time in such a long while. Not while I can still feel his pelvis against my open palms and feel the way his hand moved down the back of my thigh as I finished up the spells verbiage.

Was that touch really just a 'thank you'? I guess it was innocent enough…

From his position on the desk, laying on his back, me at his side, touching the back of my leg was his only choice – all he could reach, right?

Trying to read into it is causing me to relive the fire that his fingers shot into my skin and I feel wanton and repulsed at the same time.

Bonnie Bennett is not this girl… Bonnie Bennett does not _want_ another man… especially not Damon Salvatore… right?

"Bonnie! Elena is leaving for the hospital – Klaus says Caroline is almost through labor…"

UGH! "I'm coming, Jer!"

-Stefan-

"Thailand?" Meredith laughs, a look of disbelief on her friendly face. Somehow, I've eaten half of a pizza and spilled out the entire four years that she missed after Elena came back from Spain and I left for Italy to begin my plan to take down Klaus.

Meredith is just easy. Easy to talk to. Easy to be around. Easy to laugh with. It's been more than an hour of easy and honestly, I think 'easy' was exactly what I needed.

Threw a large bite of pizza, I say, "Like I said, it's the only place I could remember telling Elena I'd never been to…"

"And you guys actually lived there, in paradise, for two years?" More shock. More pretty smile.

I nod, chewing and swallowing – remembering how great those two years were… it was everything I could have imagined paradise to be and it had nothing to do with the ocean or the house.

"And now…?"

And now… and now my entire life is shattered. We come back to Mystic Falls and step all the way back to being at odds with one another.

Two steps forward, three steps back.

I can't answer – I shouldn't answer… "We're um,"

I feel my face returning to its most comfortable expression – a frown. My eyes clouding over with disparaging thoughts of losing my wife and losing my children and the disgusting night I spent with Katherine. I guess Meredith understands without me having to finish because as I look away from her and the light atmosphere is sucked away, I feel her take my left hand with a soft squeeze.

It crosses my mind that she's feeling for a wedding ring…

"I'm sorry, Stefan." Her other hand rests against my wrist now, leaning over the table a bit as she speaks more quietly. "I had no idea… I wouldn't have asked."

I feel bad for ruining the nice time we were having and for changing Meredith into this mournful woman with a sad undertone in her voice that tells me she thinks she's been in my shoes before – on the losing end of loving someone.

She hasn't. No one has ever loved the way I love Elena – the way we used to love each other.

Still, I try to shake it off so we can return to that 'easy' way of conversation and maybe she'll take her hand off of me before I rudely move away.

"We're working on it." That was my most hopeful voice that I have. I'm not so dense to believe myself to be a great actor and it doesn't take Meredith long to hear the false tone and now she's rubbing my hand with her thumb.

Funny how a beautiful woman like her, a woman that has never hurt me, a woman that I could have infinite possibilities with, smart and funny and kind, how she can run her thumb across my hand in the same way that Elena did just hours before and I feel nothing… when I tell Elena that she owns me, it's not a line.

My entire being belongs to Elena.

I'm just about pull my hand out from her hold when my phone chimes and it gives me a great escape – I'm not left handed, but I use my left hand to retrieve my phone.

"Klaus." Standing, I take my tray of dishes to let her know I'm done with the conversation. "I need to get back. Caroline's asking for me."

-Caroline-

I'm sobbing and sweating and I can't breathe and if it's medically possible to split in half then that's what is about to happen to me! These people keep telling me to push and breathe and relax and keep going and I'm doing great, but I'm not! I'm exhausted and with Klaus escorted out for fear he may faint, I've been alone with all of these strangers for what seems like days!

"Okay, Caroline… just a few more little pushes-"

"Little pushes!" I scream through tears and snot at the nurse that keeps forcing me to do this – the very same one that decided Klaus should leave! "I'm not playing a board game I'm having a baby you stupi-"

"Caroline!" Stefan says my name in that way that he does – authoritative and caring at the same time, the voice he uses when I'm about to say too much or say the wrong thing. "Caroline, I'm here."

I thought I was crying hard before… the instant Stefan's hand takes mine from digging into the bed sheets and he presses my head against his chest, I crumble "Stefan," Gasp, choke, gasp. "Stefan, I... I'm so scared and I can't do this! I can't do this! They keep making me and I can't…"

"It's okay, Ker." Stefan shushes me; keeping his hand in mine and the other brushing my sweaty hair off of my forehead.

"NO." I shake my head. "I can't, Stefan! It hurtsssss!" I can't even finish my sentence before another contraction shocks me into a hissing scream that goes right into his ear as I double over and my face presses against his neck.

I've never passed out before… but the voices in the room seem so far away and I feel like I'm floating for a moment that seems to last for a long time – that same feeling I remember from spending my summers in the pool at the Country Club… when you're floating on your back and the sun blinds your eyes and the water fills your ears and it seems like the depth below you is as infinite as the sky above…

"CAROLINE!" Stefan's eyes are fierce, focused, glaring into mine from inches away from face – his hands gripping both sides of my head.

"Stefff…"

"Just a couple more pushes. We can see the hips!"

_Hips…?_

"Caroline. Caroline, look at me." The way he's talking to me – stern, commanding – it makes me open my eyes again. "One more time… just one more time and we'll be done."

"No no no no no no no!" I just want to sleep. I can hardly keep my eyes open!

"Hey!" I try to squirm away but his hands are holding my head too tightly and like I said, I am so tired that I can barely move at all. "Look at me, Caroline!"

"We can do a cesarean… but it's dangerous at this point."

"Caroline…" I open my eyes to find my best friend looking at me again and I smile… I'm beginning to feel intoxicated! Ha! "Caroline, one more _big_ push, okay?"

But that rips me out of my sweet state of intoxicated bliss and I'm bawling all over his hands on my face! "I can't, Stefan! I can't do this anymore!" Wiping at my tears, pushing my hair back off of my shoulders, a cool bit of air over my neck helps to calm me down after a crying spell that seems to last a long while. As I get control of my gasping breath, I know what he's about to say the moment I spot his mouth opening. "Stefan, please! I cannot do this anymore…"

"Yes you can. You can and you will, Caroline." And I cry again, feeling like such a failure and wishing my mom was here and not stuck in Bartow on a prisoner transport. "Caroline," Stefan pulls my face back to his, my red, wet, swollen face… "Caroline, have I ever lied to you?" Stefan lying to me – no, never. Even when I wish he would have lied, made it easier, Stefan has always been honest with me no matter what the consequence. With even more tears stuck in my throat, I shake my head no and bite my shaking lip as Stefan's smile and kind green eyes gives me a little bit of strength. "One more push… and I promise you, you'll be finished. You'll have your tiny baby wrapped up in a blanket and asleep on your chest and Klaus and I will stay here until you're ready for us to go… okay?"

…. Okay.

-Elena-

"It's been hours, Elena!" Klaus half yells, his hands in the air and his curly hair a mess. I've never seen him being so… so… so human before! Worried, scared, tired… not emotions I'm used to seeing on The Original. "She was screaming and crying…"

"It's okay." I guess this very normal version of him is playing as amnesia for me, because I don't even second guess pulling him into a hug – I'm a consoler… it's what I do. "No one will think badly of you… feeling light headed, nauseated. Totally normal."

The last time Klaus had his arms around me, hugging me, he was draining me of blood… today, I'm hugging him back and hoping that he knows that I really do care for him even if it is a surprise for us both.

"Mr. Mikaelson?" A voice calls from down the hall, turning us in unison to the woman in light pink scrubs leaning into the hallway from what I now know is Caroline's room.

"Yes?" Klaus' voice nearly breaks with worry and I leave one arm around his shoulders for support. "Is she okay?"

"She is!" The nurse smiles brightly and I swear, Klaus relaxes his body the same way Stefan does – like an actual weight has been removed from his shoulders – immediately taking wide steps to close the distance between us and Caroline's room. I follow behind him in quicker, shorter steps. "And we have a little guy that wants to meet his daddy!"

Letting the father in is expected, but I'm somewhat hidden behind Klaus' broad stance and as soon as he steps in, the crowd of labor professionals start to pour out – like I'm not even there, they continue to drag out equipment and rolling polls, metal trays and plastic bags full of God knows what.

After what seems like enough people to play both sides of a football game, I get an excuse me from the last person that exits and I finally step into the doorway – ready to give Caroline the flowers Bonnie and I bought for her and baby Mikaelson a soft, off-white blanket that I picked up on the way over.

Two things keep me quiet, silent as a mouse – totally out of place in this room.

First – Stefan is holding a bundle of blue blankets, with a tiny blue knit cap laying in the bed of his elbow, looking down at the tiny face of Caroline's baby in the same way I remember him looking at Grayson. There's something about his eyes – the way they literally glow with love. So perfectly green and set against his light, olive skin, surrounded by those long, dark lashes… Stefan is stunning. Simply put, he's the most beautiful man that's ever been and when he looks up at me – our gravity always present no matter how quiet I think I am – my lungs are frozen in place by his broad, white smile that crinkles up his eyes and shows off the chiseled cut of his cheek bones and perfect, shadowed jaw line.

Without words, I feel how he loves me… how he loves our children – I'm just, I'm in awe of him, of my Stefan.

Second – There's another woman's hand on the back of his head. With her fingers laced in his short hair, her arm resting on his shoulder, Meredith Fell is peering over at Caroline's baby with a big smile on her face and her eyes on me.

"Elena!" Caroline's voice is supposed to be perky, but it comes out a little slurred – exhausted, I'm sure. "Come meet our little Matt!"

"Mataeus…" Klaus corrects her, facing away from me, fawning over Caroline in a sweet and beautiful way. "Mataeus Stefan Mikaelson"

It's been a long time since I've seen a look like that – the fixed smile and the slightly raised eyebrows, hard, cold focused eyes… but it's women's intuition - I've now, officially, got competition.

*****MORE TO COME*****

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Happy Birthday, Notorrious! Hope you enjoyed – love your comments!


	23. Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23 – THE REAPING

-Caroline-

"I don't want you to go…" Klaus and I have only been together for a few years, but if there is one thing I've learned about _The Original_, my used-to-be-hybrid, _still_ bad ass husband, it's that a perfectly-placed pout with a good-sized plea always breaks his steely demeanor and I get my way… almost always.

"Caroline." Klaus sighs, adjusting the straps of my duffel, Matt's navy blue and white diaper bag, the drawstring laundry bag heavy with dirty clothes, and a large canvas bag carrying the numerous gifts that Matt and I have received during our two day stay, all weighing down his square shoulder and simultaneously taking away the power of my pout. "You cannot travel, love. What choice do we have?"

"He's right, Sweetie." Mom has been constantly using her soft-talk voice and every pet-name in the book like she's suddenly forgotten that I'm in my twenties and Klaus is… Klaus is, well, a million or whatever. The moment she made it to the hospital and got to hold Matt, my over-worked, under-appreciated, strong-fronting mother crumbled into the woman I remember from when I was a girl and Mom and Dad were still married and my life was nothing less than a storybook fairytale. "Daddy's got to go back to Dallas to get you all moved back to Virginia," Mom cooes at her milk-drunk grandson, so asleep that he doesn't register his grandmothers ear-to-ear smile or her sing-songy tone of voice as she looks at him like the miracle he is. "You and your Mommy will stay here so Nana can give you itsy-bitsy kisses on your sweet little cheeks!"

I swear I'm not aggravated with my mom at all – quite the opposite really – but between my hormones running all over the place, her agreeing with Klaus' plan to get back to Dallas for the weekend to wrap up a few things and supervise the moving company, and the fact that Klaus is still gathering things for his departure, I lose my temper and smart off at my mom much like the little bratty teenager that I once was. "Are you going to talk to everyone in third person or are you just doing this to annoy me?"

Immediately, I feel ashamed of my outburst – and not just because of the scowl on my mom's face or the quite saying of my name in Klaus' 'that is disappointing' English-accented tone. After a few long seconds of heavy silence, I'm just about to look up from my hands knotted together in my lap and apologize, but Mom speaks first.

"I wonder where Dr. Fell is?" A change of subject – thank God. "I'm supposed to meet Professor Stanton for lunch."

"Professor Stanton?" The name instantly rings a bell – a 'what a bitch she is' bell. "As in Professor Amy Stanton?"

I guess the rotten thoughts I have for her are evident in my voice as Mom gives a matching frown with her nod, telling me she doesn't much care for the lead case investigator for CCIR, Cold Case Investigations and Research, either.

"She has these two kids – interns," Finally laying Matt into his basinet allows Mom's real voice to escape from whatever prison that holding my newborn son had trapped it in. "up and running at all hours of the night. Copies and coffee and scans and taping tiny pieces of paper to bigger pieces of paper in order to fit symmetrically in file folders."

I chuckle a bit, remembering how the interns at my office – er, my _old_ office – despised Amy for tasking them with that job. These people had college degrees and were spending hours and miles of scotch tape as they took post it notes, business cards, receipts… really anything in the evidence files that were not 8.5x11 and taping it to blank sheets of common sized printer paper. God, what a torture chamber that woman led! Between her condescending ways of leading her team and the 'right-now' orders that seemed to come to her at a moments notice, by the time CCIR left Dallas pretty much everyone hated Professor Amy Stanton!

"How much longer will they be pestering you, Liz?" Klaus asks, something about the way his eyebrows raise in the slightest signals to me that his brain is beginning to turn into that planning and scheming man from the past – God how I love that magnificent mind of his. "It seems as though I can remember Caroline telling me about them keeping you busy soon after we returned from Thailand."

"Yes, that's right." Mom sighs heavily, as if she hadn't realized just how many weeks she's been forced to work with the non-profit group. Their goal is great – using DNA to free anyone wrongly-accused – but geez, Amy Stanton makes you want to burn the evidence just to get her out of your hair!

"Is there any chance, even a small one, that opening these cases may prove to be, shall I say, _unkind_ to those of us with a _history_ in this town?"

My mom shakes the loving grandma look pretty quickly as Klaus eloquently reminds us all that he and I are murderers who run with a pack of other murderers.

"No." She says confidently, her hands finding her hips as she moves into that Sheriff Forbes stance that used to make my skin crawl. "They are looking into the murder cases, not the _animal attacks_. Everyone will be fine and hopefully, Professor Stanton is nearly finished… they plan on collecting the evidence files back to 1900. Last I heard they were wrapping up the forties."

I'm just about to ask Klaus if he was here during that time, but his expression is soft and Dr. Fell pushes through the swinging door with a wide, happy, red lipped smile and a stack of papers in her arms – I wonder if anyone else finds it odd that she immediately scans the room when she enters.

"How are you today?" She asks cheerily, pushing her hair behind her ears, showing off the large diamond stud earrings she's wearing as she takes a quick peek at Matt, wrapped tightly in the blue and white blanket Elena gave us. Turning back to me, I notice how perfectly her makeup is applied and to be honest, I'm feeling a little dumpy in comparison… all the way down to her shiny red heels and black pencil skirt. "I expected you to have much more company, Caroline. Where is everyone?" Meredith asks, nonchalantly flipping through my chart.

Hmm.

Klaus and I share a very quick, fleeting look at one another and I swear he has a hard time not grinning – not at all bothered by the fact that my suspicions about Meredith being very interested in a newly single Stefan Salvatore are absolutely spot-on.

Poor girl… I've been in her shoes - always choosing the wrong guy.

I mean, Stefan is a great guy, until Elena serendipitously found her way back into our lives he was a wonderful boyfriend even –thing is, even with their current state, nothing will ever tempt him away from Elena… but that doesn't mean we can't use this very pretty, successful woman to start up her jealous streak!

I hardly even hear the going home instructions that she's telling me as I imagine how fun watching Elena freak over another woman actively pursuing 'her Stefan' will be!

When Meredith says, "So, that's about it. You guys are good to go so long as you have a car seat installed.", I am smiling like the cat that ate the canary… the _Elena needs to be taught a lesson canary_, that is!

Klaus and Mom watch her walk out, each of them calling 'thank you's and 'we really appreciate it's and whatnot while my mean-girl brain kicks into over drive as I try to figure out how to link these two, Stefan and Hot Dr. Fell, together in a way that will both drive Elena crazy and right to his feet, begging him to come back.

By the time Klaus has all of our stuff in mom's SUV and I've awkwardly put Matt into his carseat for the very first time – may I take a minute to mention how crazy adorable my baby boy is? I mean, listen, I know you're going to think I'm biased, but really, he may be the most handsome little guy that there ever has been! From the wispy blond hair on his head to his full lips… he's going to be a heartbreaker – anyway, by the time my room is void of all of the belongs we've accumulated in our short stay and Matt and I are being carted out of the room, him in his carseat being held by his terribly proud father and mom pushing me in a wheelchair, I can't think of any way to connect Stefan and Meredith again.

There really is no reason for them to see each other… I mean I've racked my brain and I'm usually pretty good at creating drama where there is a lack of it.

Sheesh, maybe it's the hormones… I dunno.

"Oh Caroline!" Mom is pushing me through the automatic doors of the lobby when Meredith calls for me. "Caroline! Wait.." She smiles over her shoulder, then turns back to the man in scrubs she's talking with, seemingly ending the conversation with him quickly – stepping back as she finishes up her last sentence then turning hastily to come to Mom and I.

"Is anything the matter?" Mom's voice is calm, but I can hear the worry in her words and to tell you the truth, my stomach is a bit knotted, as well.

Meredith looks confused for a moment, her large, dark eyes moving from mom's worried face to mine, back and forth, then finally back to mine as she figures out what this looks like. Being stopped by your doctor on the way out of the hospital is probably not usually good news.

"No, no." Covering her face with her hand, hiding an embarrassed smile and reddening cheeks, Meredith laughs. "No, I'm sorry. Everything is great, really. You guys are free to go and I know you're going to do just fine."

"Then what is it?" Mom asks, releasing her nervousness in a chuckle.

"Um, well uh…" Meredith stutters, "It's not professional. More like girl talk, I guess…"

-Elena-

"Mr. and Mrs. Salvatore," Margo smiles, poking her head out of her office, her phone resting on her shoulder, "it'll be just a few minutes longer. You know how troublesome teenagers are." She laughs, closing the door and leaving Stefan and I alone in the small, vacant lobby. The other night, at the hospital, I was so upset – pissed off really – about Meredith Fell hovering all over Stefan that I was pretty rude and, now, I think Stefan must feel I am upset with him.

I'm not… I mean, no more than usual, with the Katherine deal and now the whole idea of Meredith… but I'm not sure how to tell him that I'm not any more upset with him than when we toured my parents house. When he said those perfect words and left that perfect kiss on my tingling lips…

I'm just regular ol' mad Elena. Great.

That's what I've become – angry with the world. Mad Elena. A woman with two amazing kids and great friends and a job that could not be more perfect if I'd dreamt it up… and Stefan. I have Stefan. I have a husband that loves me through everything, no matter what. A man that has been by my side for nearly a decade now, a man with a touch that still sets me on fire and a smile that makes my heart skip a beat and who treats me like I'm irreplaceable.

I spent a few hours writing last night – still working on my fictional/non fictional semi-auto biographical whatever it is… and here is my latest epiphany.

I don't love him like he loves me. I love him like I love him and that's all I can do. And whether or not he believes it, my love for Stefan is unending and it is unconditional. Writing has really helped me put things into a bit of perspective and on top of my promise to be more assertive and open with Stefan, I've added to that list of 'to-do-Elena-improvements'

Controlling my Katherine comparisons

Wrangling in my worry over Caroline and Katherine… my jealousy (I hate that word, no matter how fitting it may be)

Forming a friendship with Klaus… I mean, lets face it, Human Stefan and Human Klaus have a friendship that I'll never really understand, but I need to support. No matter how weirded out I am by the commonalities between the two of them… their pasts.

And lastly, the big one, I've got to let this anger go.

I'm angry about so much!

What was once sadness time has turned into a living, breathing, monster of anger that sits so tightly between my heart and my lungs that they actually feel constricted when I get set off about something. Losing my parents still makes me feel so cheated, robbed of my childhood and of experiences that I should have been able to share with them! It's been almost eight years to the day – Sunday is the anniversary of their deaths – and to me, it feels like it's been no more than a few months until I think about everything I've missed, everything they have missed, everything that my children will miss not having their grandparents in their lives! Then it just moves forward; I get mad at Damon for what he did, even if it was an accident. Then I'm mad at him for staking Lexi and hurting Stefan so profoundly… and for hurting Bonnie and Caroline and Jeremy and for weaving himself into my head. I get mad at Katherine for hurting him and hurting Stefan. Then I'm mad at Klaus for hurting her and for killing Jena and for stealing Caroline away from me and for being the first fissure in mine and Stefan's relationship so long ago… I could go on and on, but you know the story. You can map it out… ending with Katherine, going on three months pregnant with what could be my step-child.

For mine and Stefan's sake, I've got to come to terms with it and accept it for if I know Stefan, and I do, there is nothing that will stop him from taking care of her child should he turn out to be the father… he'd wash his hands of me before ever considering abandoning the baby.

I'm lost in my thoughts, my epiphany and what I want to write about tonight, when I feel Stefan's eyes on me… a quick, secret glance that he probably wishes I didn't know even happened, but I can feel his gaze on my skin just as I can feel sunlight – just as warm, comforting.

We were supposed to meet with Margo to finish up the paperwork over twenty minutes ago, but when I got here he was sitting in the very seat he is right now, elbows on his knees, eyes on the floor, while Margo's raspy, smokers voice carries through the thin walls as she discusses her 'kid' getting expelled… again, apparently.

When Margo's voice raises, that twinge of guilt in my stomach really picks up as I feel bad for eavesdropping and decide to try and start a conversation with Stefan.

"Pepper called earlier," I smile with the thought of seeing her and Robert tomorrow. "They landed this morning and are going to stay with some friends upstate, but they'll be here around four tomorrow."

Nodding, Stefan slips his phone from his back pocket, checking the screen quickly before sitting it in the empty pleather, blue seat at his side.

"I was thinking we could all go to Lula's. Out near the highway intersection, you know? It's a new place, Cajun I think, southern maybe," I'm rattling. I'm rattling on about absolutely nothing for the sole purpose of keeping him looking at me. Of keeping his soft green gaze looking right into my starved-for-him brown eyes. "It's probably the basics you know, I mean, if nothing else at least they have a good reputation…" Stefan is dressed for the day – business Stefan in a starched light blue button up, tucked into a pair of dark slacks and his hair – his soft, perfectly wheat brown hair – is as always set into a 'this took no effort' mess of perfection. " Maybe we should offer to bring Damon dinner afterwards since my dumb idea left him stuck with watching the kids… A to-go box and a jumbo-sized styrofoam cup of bourbon."

Stefan's lips begin to curve into a smile from my joke and I think he knows what I'm doing – totally aware of my useless rambling – but before we can really enjoy the moment, Margo bursts through the door and calls our names. "Hello, Hello! I am so sorry about that… but let's go on in and I'll get the broker and we'll seal this deal for you two today, okay?"

Stefan waits for me to enter Margo's office, his hand gently touching the small of my back as I pass him and I have no idea if I'm more happy that Stefan and I are buying my parents house, my home, or that he touched me… they are of equal value to me at this moment and to have them both, at the same time, it's amazing.

It's nice to watch Stefan conduct business – really nice… it's sexy. He's so confident with his decisions, the words he chooses, comfortable negotiating with the broker and the realtor. I sit back and watch, ready to add my two-cents should I disagree with him, or find something of concern to me, but after more than an hour of discussion and remembering this Stefan from when we worked at Robert's publishing company together, I want nothing more than to sign the mortgage and take my husband back to our home and make love with him.

End this entire argument once and for all.

Finally finished – I feel like I've signed my name about three hundred times – Stefan and I shake Margo and Mr. Braun's hands, collect our copies of the paperwork and head out to the lobby. I'm walking slow, purposely. I want him to come home with me.

Home.

To our new home.

To the same rooms that we've kissed and talked and laughed and cried in over and over again. Where I had pictured spending my with him and our faceless children when I was just barely seventeen… even then I knew.

Stepping out into the sun warmed day, I feel like I am about to burst with happiness and want and love, all for Stefan, all thanks to him.

"Hey, what are you doing now?" I ask, hoping he doesn't notice that I've reverted back to my same ol' flirty ways from my teenage years. Head tilted down a bit, slipping my hair being my ear, looking up at him with a smile. "We could go back to the house."

Shifting his jacket in his arms in order to balance the thick manila file of our mortgage papers and whatnot, Stefan gives me a surprised look, quickly followed by that smile – that gorgeous smile that I would know from a mile away. It's the way his eyes crinkle with this particular smile – one of thousands, I should add. Something in the way his eyes squint a bit and his lips curl up and snarl at the same time… Stefan's sexy, _I want you_ smile has always, and will always, make me weak in the knees.

"Actually, Elena," His smile fades a little, turning into something less carnal, more apologetic, "I'm supposed to help Caroline out tonight." Of course… Caroline. Ugh. "Klaus is headed back to Dallas to finish up the sale of their condo and her mom won't be in until late."

Act cool, Elena – I tell myself. Don't pout and frown and whine about him picking Caroline over you… just be cool. Remember your epiphany!

"Elena," Stefan frowns, "Please believe me when I say there is nothing more I'd rather do than spend some time with you, it's just I already –"

"No. Yea." I try to play it off even though my face is hot with flush, "It's totally cool, you've gotta do ya know, it's yea."

Seriously. That wasn't even a sentence! I'm an idiot. A mumbling, bumbling, can't even get a date with her own husband, idiot.

Somehow, I manage to get through the rest of our parting goodbye without falling down or having a bird pooh on my head or some other unimaginably embarrassing thing happen – ugh! – but much like the idiot I am, I stand at my car door and watch him leave, smiling and waving like I'm totally fine and not embarrassed down to my spine for propositioning Stefan and getting a huge, fat, rejection.

My faux-smile is hurting my face by the time his truck is out of view and letting my frown take over is the equivalent of dropping a hundred pound weight!

I spend a few moments listening to the voice in my head and the cars passing on Main Street, resting my head against the hood of my car, berating myself once more for being so forward – _we could go back to the house – _WTH, Elena! Then moving on to mentally preparing myself for the dreaded anniversary of my parents accident and our dinner with Robert and Pepper tomorrow night. Never ones to mence words, I know that they are going to be looking for answers and not afraid to ask the difficult questions… maybe it will be good for us, good for Stefan and I to have some moderators around to help us through this mess.

Maybe that's just what we need… counseling of some sort. I mean, I've thought about it before – I'm sure he has too – but who can we really talk to? Really? Who could we trust with all of the truth behind our relationship? Stefan was a vampire with an addiction to blood. I am a doppleganger who slept with his brother and happens to look like the woman that turned him almost two hundred years ago…

Um no… can't walk into any run of the mill therapists office and drop those kinds of bombs.

Pepper and Robert have been so helpful in the past. I can't help but feel much more hopeful about our dinner and the sure-to-come interrogation by the two people in our lives who know everything and yet, still treat us like we're just kids – their kids.

Yes. This is going to be great. Dinner will be difficult, maybe a little painful to rehash everything, but it's worth it. It'll be worth it in the end. For Stefan and I… I'd do anything.

Feeling much better and the smile on my face not causing me any strife at all, I straighten up and find Margo standing infront of the lobby door, searching the cars, her eyes spotting me quickly.

"Oh Mrs. Salvatore, Mrs. Salvatore!" She click-clacks down the concrete walkway, cigarette smoke trailing behind her. "Your phone! You left it in the lobby!"

I'm about to disagree, my phone is in my purse, but then I see Stefan's black phone in her hand and recall him sitting it in the seat next to him. "Oh yes, thank you so much!" I laugh, then lie to explain why I'm still out here, standing by my car. "I was just looking through my bag for it."

Handing it to me, she says, "We almost missed it, but Mr. Braun heard it ring… I guess you missed a call"

"Oh," I smile, "Thank you, really, for everything." Extending my hand to shake hers, then opening my car door and slipping inside.

I shouldn't.

I can't.

Going through his phone is totally wrong.

But if he missed a call it might be something to do with the kids…

And he never cared about me using his phone before.

Even in Naples, when we were broke up and he caught me looking at his pictures… he didn't care at all!

No. No I can't.

I'm trying to be a better person – more adult. More trusting.

I can't.

I won't.

But then it dings and the phone activates as a text alert comes across the screen.

Caroline: Hot and sexy Dr gave me her number to give…

I _have_ to see it – I _have_ to read it. All of my conviction – all of that being a better person, it's bullshit now. It's meaningless… I think my blood may actually have turned a jealous shade of green after reading just part of the message! Jealous green and angry, ANGRY, red as I realize Caroline is HELPING Meredith Fell try to hook up with my husband – mine.

Stream may be coming from my ears as I flick the screen with my thumb and read the entire message.

Caroline: Hot and sexy Dr gave me her number to give to you! Seems like Dr has a case of the 'Stefan's and you're the only cure! Call her – She's beautiful and funny and smart… and given her history probably a little crazy, so the sex will be epic! ;P

*DING*

A second message from her and I feel tears of rage fill my eyes.

Caroline: Not to mention, Elena is going to go crazy jealous! Score one for Team Stefan!

-Stefan –

I'm trying not to be pissed off. Really I am.

Caroline is just home with Matt, Klaus is gone for the weekend, her mom is, as usual, working, and I know that I'm her only help. No matter how aggravated I am with her, she's my best friend and she needs me to be here. So I'm here.

I'm here. My phone however…

My phone, carrying a text message from her about Meredith being interested in me and Caroline's teenager-like scheme to make Elena jealous, is not here.

"Stefan, I am so sorry." Caroline whispers, nursing Matt beneath a blanket as she rests in front of the small fire I'd built while she filled me in on the current drama. There is always something within this group – misfits, outcasts. All of us just dysfunctional enough to be functional together. "Maybe it's lost in your truck. Like under the seat or something?"

I know where I left it. I remember exactly when I sat it down in that chair in the lobby. I remember exactly how my body was aching for my wife and how my mind felt murky and my thoughts thick… we sat there in that deafening silence for what seemed like an eternity as I tried to find a topic that didn't sound like awkward chit-chat between exes. Anything to break the tension – anything but Meredith Fell or Katherine Pierce.

So you can see why I'm worried. Why I'm angry with Caroline for being so careless. Immature. Tactless.

Swiping at the screen on her phone in a 'calm' way – whatever that is – I'm finding quite difficult. My thumb tapping against the screen is a quick, hard beat as I google the phone number for the realty office and send quite pleads into the universe that Elena did not pick up my phone.

One ring – two… three… voicemail. The office is closed.

At first I feel my chest sink – my phone is locked up in the lobby for the weekend – but then again… The greeting on the voicemail says they close at noon on Fridays and Elena and I didn't finish up until close to three. Odds are, Margo closed up just after we left and Elena most likely doesn't have it. The thought lightens me, giving my voice a somewhat cheerful ring as I leave my message with Caroline offering me a weary, testing smile:

"Margo, hello, this is Stefan Salvatore. I know your office is closed for the weekend, but I left my phone in the lobb-"

"Mr. Salvatore?" Margo's voice has the same raspy quality of a record player needle falling from the vinyl. "Hello?"

"Yes, Hi."

"How are you enjoying your new home?" She asks in a way that tells me she has no idea that Elena and I are… separated… "A young couple such as yourselves will be a perfect addition to the neighborhood."

A knock on the front door nearly does not register – being in Caroline's mothers home, talking to this woman, all the possible scenarios playing out my options in my minds eye.

In order to not get into it the details of mine and Elena's current situation and to cut the conversation short, I simply lie – a white lie, "It's wonderful..." delivered just as I turn the corner from the sitting room and into the foyer, " listen, I left my phone in the lobb-" and I find the love of my life looking right at me through the glass inlet; her long hair pulled over one shoulder, framing her beautiful face half in dark satin, half in the orange light of sunset.

Again she interrupts me and I stop in my tracks from the words spilling into my ears and the recognition of the look on Elena's face – her eyes wide, alert, sharp. Her lips pressed tight. Jaw set. The pin-prickling needles against my skin. With my current state of near panic that Elena may have my phone and those text messages from Caroline, I feel my brow tighten and my jaw clench. "Your phone, right… yes, Mrs. Salvatore has it."

_Smile, Stefan_. I tell myself. _Don't look guilty. _

Without saying a goodbye – or saying anything at all, really – I end the call and sit Caroline's phone on the table as I move towards the door, my skin stinging from the frequency I share with Elena.

"Hey, Elena." Because I'm still not sure if she read the messages, I try to sound _possibly_ surprised to see her.

"Is Caroline awake?" Elena pushes past me, using her forearm against my chest to move me – my phone slaps against my shoulder. Stopping her is almost a reflex – my hand taking hold of her wrist, keeping her fist and the phone against me. "Stefan, let me go." Elena's voice is quiet, forced through gritted teeth, but I don't release her though my grip is loose. A quick struggle tells Elena I'm not relenting. "Stefan!"

Fearing that this would end badly for Elena and Caroline's friendship of 20 years, I do my best to thwart her desire to confront Caroline – the look in Elena's eyes tells me it's a useless effort, but I try nonetheless. "It's nothing, Elena. What does it matter?"

"It's nothing?" She huffs. "Caroline tries to set you up with another woman to make me jealous and that's nothing?!"

"It was a joke, Elena." Caroline's tired voice turns our heads simultaneously – she looks exhausted, worried. "Kind of…"

Realizing that holding Elena's wrist is futile now that Caroline has come to meet my vengeful wife, I release my hold on her and wonder why didn't she just stop with _it was a joke_?

"Really funny, Care-O-Line… I laughed the entire drive over!" Elena jerks her touch from my chest, her voice raising.

Caroline rolls her eyes, crossing her arms as she replies, "I have a hard time imagining you laughing at anything, Elena…"

What an odd situation this is – protective of both parties, angry with each contender in the fight for every blow thrown. I want to reprimand Caroline and send Elena home. I want to tell Caroline that she's crossing a line and remind Elena of how many years they've been friends.

"Why? Because I'm such a bitch these days, Caroline?" Elena matches Caroline's stance. "And with no reason – just a psychotic ex-girlfriend who may be pregnant with my step child while my friends are setting my husband up on dates sure to end in 'epic sex'! Yeah, I'm being way too sensitive about all of this!"

Caroline doesn't miss a beat, "Thank God, I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever realize how ridiculous you're being!"

"Me?!" Elena steps towards Caroline. Caroline steps forward as well. "I'm ridiculous?" I step inbetween them – the four feet feeling much more like four inches.

With a snarky nod, Caroline says, "What kind of wife _blames_ her husband for being taken advantage of?"

"Caroline." I face her, glaring. This does not need to be discussed here. Not between them. What happened with Katherine is between Elena and I.

"The same kind of wife that chooses her 'friend' over her husband and lets him be a vegetable for four years!" Elena actually quotes with her fingers when she says friend… referring to me.

"Elena." Really… this again?

Since the moment Elena – compelled Elena – found out that Caroline and I were together, I've been dealing with Elena being suspicious of my friendship with her. I've explained and I've tried to make her understand what Caroline is to me and what I am to Caroline, how we were only together out of loneliness and lack of option, but nothing seems to cease her worry that I have some deep, longing, love for Caroline.

I, one-hundred percent, do not.

"Oh wow…" Caroline's eyes roll again, though I see that the reminder of what we did to Klaus has stung her, "get over yourself Elena… not everyone wants your husband."

"HA!" Elena gives a saracastic chuckle, "Right… so out of the entire town of Mystic Falls, Stefan is the _only_ person available to stay with you tonight? Not Bonnie, not me?"

"The only person I like."

I try it again – more stern, "Caroline."

"Well that's convenient for us because no one likes you or you're lunatic husband!"

"Elena."

"Then let me do you a favor, sweetie." Mean girl Caroline moves her hands to her hips.

"Puh-leeze…" Elena shakes her head in disgust.

"Since you don't like us, I'd hate to waste your time and keep you as my maid of honor." Elena's mouth falls open a bit. "Maybe Meredith is available…"

Again, I try to interfere. "That's enough, Caroline."

"Whatever you want Caroline, this will be just another time in the long list of things you force people to do… mandatory fun time when everyone is really miserable."

"Was that supposed to be hurtful, Elena?" Caroline smiles her wicked smile, "The last person I'd take 'fun advice' from is you… If its not about you or for you it's not really worth dealing with, am I right?"

"Go to hell, Caroline!" Elena sighs, turning on her heel and heading out of the door.

"God, what a bitch!" It's not loud, and I know she's just venting, but it pisses me off nonetheless.

"Caroline – that is my wife…" She starts to open her mouth, smart off I'm sure, but I feel my brow lower a bit and her lips close tight. "That is my wife and you are my best friend, but don't think for a moment that I'm going to allow you to speak to her like that. Understand?"

She crosses her arms again, rolls her eyes… but she nods her head – Caroline knows me so well that she knows that Elena is untouchable in my eyes. She'll always come first, no matter what.

-Elena-

I just want to slam the damn door. That's it.

I honestly don't know whether or not either of us came out the victor and that may be worst of all – knowing that all the things I wanted to say to Caroline did not get said. Every word that I'd planned out on the way over – how I imagined it going – I lost it all when Stefan wouldn't let my hand go.

And now here he is, his strength too much for me, holding the door by the top of the window frame – my pulling barely affecting him at all.

"Elena, don't leave like this."

"What?" Don't leave like what? Angry? I've just been called self-absorbed, bitchy, a bad wife, and unlikable… "How should I leave, Stefan?"

"Look, she's tired, she's not thinking right…"

"You're taking up for her?!" I let the door go, shocked… but not really. Of course he is. He always does. Stefan and Caroline, the wonder duo. "Why am I surprised?"

"Elena, no." Stefan does that neck popping thing he does when he's getting aggravated, annoyed by me I assume – the slight turning of his head, flexed jaw. Squinting in the low, west sun, the green of his eyes has turned to a hypnotizing, burning amber. "It's just that I don't want you and her to let this affect your friendship."

He's beautifully selfless... concerned about my friendship with Caroline. No matter how irate I may be, that's one fact I cannot avoid.

"Our friendship ended a long time ago… the moment you stepped into our lives, I imagine."

He frowns, "What?"

Wow. I guess I hadn't realized I felt that way… funny how anger and hurt can brew together into a sort of natural truth serum. Just saying it feels like exhaling and I rest my head against the headrest before continuing - breathing deeply

"You two have been friends for years… all of this time?"

"But it's been ending. For years it's been ending…" I turn to look at him, looking up at his beautiful face warmly lit by the setting sun - I wonder if I'll ever have him like I used to… like when we were tucked away in Thailand, in love and delirious with one another. "She's _your_ friend, Stefan… or whatever she is to you."

The clenching of his jaw shadows on his face as he looks away from me for a long moment, aggravated with this topic once more.

"What does that even mean, Elena? _Whatever_ she is to me…" Stefan is turning cold, our gravity, though it was rough and harsh like an ocean swell, had still been inviting up until now. He's not moved away, still looking down into my eyes, but there's a chill passing between us – and it's getting worse with each passing second. "How many times do I have to tell you that she's my friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. How many times can I prove to you that there will never be anyone else for me… Elena, what else can I do?"

I know that. I do. And if I didn't, the look in his amber-green eyes is all I would need to convince myself that what he's saying – what he's said over and over – is the truth… but, I can't help my jealousy over the connection they share.

The way he trusts her.

How she's never hurt him, or made him doubt her.

Hmm. Another epiphany… it's not that I think he loves her, I'm threatened by the fact that she's been better to Stefan than I have.

My voice sounds so small, quiet in the gentle breeze of nightfall. "I just… I wish you needed me like you seem to need her."

"Is that why you asked me to avoid her?" I'm still ashamed about that request – weeks ago, in Thailand, so soon after I learned about what Katherine did… I just give a half nod/half shrug and hope he doesn't know that secretly, I still wish he would remove Caroline from his life. "Elena… I do need her, you're right." Ouch. I should have been prepared for that. Stefan doesn't candy the truth. "She lets me talk things through. She reminds me that I'm not the monster I once was. I may not be a vampire any longer, but all those things that I did – what I've done to you, to _us_ – it haunts me, Elena. And Caroline, she doesn't let me drown in that guilt, she reminds me that I'm not what I've done in my past. And when I thought I'd lost you forever, Caroline never let me give up hope. She never let me forget how much you loved me… and now, she only wants the best for me – for us."

I should look away from him, not let him see how actually saying these things is releasing a torrid amount of emotion that I'm having trouble keeping in check – "You used to need _me_ like that, Stefan." my voice breaks a bit with his name, my eyes watering with sure to come tears. The realization that I've been demoted in his life is, quite frankly, agonizing.

"Do you think that's romantic, Elena? Being needed?" Stefan sounds like I've just said something ludicrous, like he can't believe I'd want him to need me like he used to.

"Isn't that what being in love is, Stefan?"

He stays quiet for a moment – listening to my words, holding them in his thoughts… it's what I fell in love with first, this way that Stefan hears me like no one else ever has.

"For years it seemed like my every breath depended on you – on being near you, on you being happy. Like I wouldn't be able to go on without your love. I can remember laying awake at night, trying so hard to think of a way to win you back from Damon, then how I could break Damon's compulsion – four years later, the morning of your interview in Roanoke… I ran a few miles for no other reason than to try and burn the image of your face out of my mind for a while." I smile. I can't stop it… the curling of my lips as I watch my husband open up to me and remind me of how amazing his words can be. "But being with you in Thailand, having Grayson and Allie… something changed. I don't know, I feel… I feel less dependent on you. And maybe you think that's bad, Elena, but I don't." My smile fades a bit… is dependent bad? "I think about you all the time, still. I wonder what your day is like when I'm not there. I wonder how you're sleeping when I lay down at night. When I do mundane things – eat lunch, get groceries… everything, I think about you. But it's not because I need you, it's because I _want_ you. I want to be in your life and you in mine. I _want _you to love me and I _want _to love you… it's not a necessity anymore, but I'll always choose you."

I want to hold him, kiss his face, bury myself in his warm embrace - swallowing hard, holding myself in the drivers seat with white knuckles around the steering wheel. The sound of Matt's tiny cries ends my long moment of silence and I ask without filtering my thoughts, "Then why am I living with Bonnie while you're in an apartment? Why aren't we together, Stefan? If you _want_ to be with me, why aren't you?" I can see it in his eyes, the slight turning of his head, he's the surprised by my forwardness. It doesn't happen often, my catching Stefan off-guard, so I push on – through my voice, trembling with fear of rejection, through the relentless pulling and pushing of our gravity trying to press us together... "I love you. I will love you no matter what happens with Katherine and I know you love me! Stefan, please, forgive me for being so stupid, so cruel… please, come home."

*****MORE TO COME*****

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_****NEXT CHAPTER UPDATE 2/16/13 – I promise!** **_


	24. Chapter 24

**CHAPTER 24 – THE REAPING**

-Elena-

"I don't know, Elena." Stefan is squinting; the low sun glowing on his skin, reflecting amber-warm in his eyes, catching the golden brown of his hair that is usually concealed by the darker, chestnut tresses that I've ran my fingers through hundreds of times. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, without you."

With his eyes hidden and that frown on his face, I am not sure if his tired, frustrated voice is a good thing or bad.

I won't leave anything up to chance. Not now. Not with what feels like a crack in the stone-cold wall that there has been between us since the day I came home from dropping Jeremy and Bonnie at the airport. Since the night he spent with Katherine. Since the morning he discovered what she'd done to us. To him.

Without spending much time inspecting him for clues of what he means, I give Stefan long enough to inhale before I start in – picking up my proverbial sword and fighting for him the way I should have so many weeks ago!

"I'll do better, Stefan." No matter how badly I want to give him the space that I think he probably desires, I can't – the gravity, our frequency… the way he just licked his lips and now they shine in the sunlight, smooth and soft – I move towards him, closing the short distance between us in small, cautious steps and talking the whole time in an effort to keep him from noticing my closing in and him backing away. "I'll show you every single day how much you mean to me. I know I've taken you for granted for so long and I know you deserve better than that."

"Elena."

"I've been so stupid – immature! - to not make sure you felt as loved and as cherished as you make me feel, Stefan. I make mistakes all the time, but I swear, if you'll just come home and give me _another_ chance, I'll never make that mistake again." I don't know if I reached for his hand, or if he reached for mine – maybe we reached at the same time – but the grazing of each of his fingers slipping in between mine sends a warm tremor up my arm that resonates in my chest, stealing my breath, stopping my vocal chords.

"Elena, I –" I interrupt him his interruption again. I can't hear him tell me no. I can't take his rejection.

"Stefan, I love you. For thousands of reasons, I love you…" Damn my shaking voice. I've got to get through this unplanned proposition, this selling of my devotion to the man who sees through me like I'm glass. "We can leave. We can go anywhere. I don't need Mystic Falls, I don't need the house or my brother. I don't need anything but you and Allie and Grayson." I'm speaking faster, almost begging now, and Stefan's hand, now against my face, his fingers slipping into my hair, it just causes my speech and heart rate to quicken even more. "I'll do anything you want me to do, Stefan!" His lightly callused thumb catches the first tear that falls, wiping it away as he's done so many times – always there to catch my tears, to save me, to love me. "Please come home. I just need anot-"

My words are stopped by his mouth, my face now cradled in his hands.

I don't know how to explain to you, how to describe… if there are even words in the human language to clarify the way my lips feel against Stefan's! It's some kind of mix of intoxication and sobering, stirring and ataractic, just wanton enough to feel slightly sinful and miraculous enough to leave my entire being stilled – both mind and body - by the slipping of his tongue against my bottom lip and the nearly sweet saliva left in my mouth when he pulls away, breathing in my exhale.

For a moment, I'm paralyzed, but I can't tell you if its only because of that captivating kiss, the tight-wrapping of our gravity against our bodies, or because I don't want to know if this is a goodbye kiss. With my hands flat on his chest, I keep my eyes closed, my lips slightly parted, and send up a silent prayer.

_Please God, even if I've done nothing right in my entire 26 years, I'm begging you to please not let him leave me… I'm not strong enough._

Then I open my eyes, slowly revealing Stefan's soft, half smile and perfect white teeth before I absorb the courage I get from his sweet grin and look up into his emerald green eyes.

"Can I talk now?" He gives a half laugh, pushing my hair back off of my shoulders as I nod yes.

"Elena, I love you. I don't know what I was thinking – what I was doing, moving out… it was foolish and so… just so wrong."

When I smile – a huge, cheeky grin that squints my eyes and pushes out the remaining bit of tears that had pooled at my lashes – I quickly wipe them from my cheeks and take Stefan's hands from my face, leaving small kisses on the palms of his hands.

"Then that is a yes?" I tease, looking up at my husband's beautiful Roman face looking right back down at me with a matching, purely happy smile.

"That is a yes."

-Caroline-

I'm happy.

I mean, I'm not _not_ happy… I'm just, well, frankly I'm not convinced. And I guess that's fine except Stefan is giving me that head down, eyes up glare thing that he does when he's getting angry and it's all because I'm overjoyed that he and Elena are back together.

"What?" Even in a hushed tone, talking quietly as I've just put Matt back to sleep, Stefan's voice is completely readable – frustrated. "You want to say something? Say it."

"I…" How do I put this without sounding like a nay-sayer? How do I tell my best friend that the last six weeks will have been for nothing – all of the late nights in misery wondering about Elena, all of the heartbreak – taking her back after nothing more than a sales-pitch and a play on his love for her… it's not what he'd had in mind when he started this whole thing. "It's just – Stefan. I…"

"You think it's too soon." He says – a statement, not a question… closer to an accusation. Just like how he could tell that my _yay that's great_ and golf-clap was less than excited, Stefan can see the truth on my face – my tired, makeup-less face. "It doesn't matter how long I stay away from her, Caroline, you know I can never unlove her…" I sigh, not sure of what I'm trying to say and maybe missing Klaus as Stefan once again reminds me of how unconditional love should be. "And furthermore, I don't want to."

"No, I know. I do…" I sit up, clasping my hands together in my lap with my knees squeezed together – nervous. Stefan and I can talk about anything and everything – and we have. Our years we spent in solitude together, we only had each other and the friendship that developed was much more than any kind of temporary romantic relationship. I know Stefan. And it's because I know him that I'm nervous about approaching this subject – Elena. The untouchable, sacrosanct. "But what happens when Katherine has the baby? Your baby, Stefan?" I don't have the sensitive hearing like I used to, but I catch the sound of his teeth clenching. "What happens when things get really real and there is a tiny little boy or girl in your hands and Damon turns on us and Katherine pulls some crazy stunt and all that's left is what Elena will do?"

"And you think that keeping my distance is the best way?" Stefan asks with a superficial tone to his words.

"No, Stefan. You do." When he realizes what I'm saying, he looks away from me, staring into the fire as I continue. "You started all of this because you know that when it all hits the fan, Elena is going to break. You were tricked into sleeping with Katherine and that nearly sent her over the edge… watching you with Katherine's baby, seeing you taking care of them once Damon finds out. Elena isn't going to be able to handle it… I don't know of many people who could!"

Through his thoughts, Stefan asks, "You wouldn't be able to? Handle it, I mean."

My head is shaking no even as I try to seem stronger than I know I am by saying, "I'm not sure, Stefan. It would be _really_ difficult…" Uncomfortable with the way my body betrayed me, telling the unspoken truth, I change the subject back to Elena. "Maybe she's too young."

A furrowed brow and cocked-to-the side head tells me to continue as he huffs, "You're the same age, Caroline."

"She's lost four years of her life to compulsion. Years before that to grief! And God only knows what kind of post-traumatic stress all of the threats she's lived through have caused." I see his eyelids twitch a bit, his lips purse slightly, and it dawns on me that Stefan may have never considered the lasting affects of all of the horrible things that Elena has seen and lived through, all of it so soon after her parents died. "Elena needs some time to _try_ and grow up."

"And to do that I should be out of the picture?" Stefan stands, unrolling the sleeves of his button up shirt. "How is that supposed to help anyone? My children included."

I consider my response – trying to choose the right words as Stefan is getting angry with me, with the situation, fastening the cuffs of his shirt with a snarl on his face.

"Not out of the picture, Stefan, just safely distanced until she can get herself together. Until you know that bumps in the road won't completely derail her at a moments notice." I stand too, much shorter than him but I feel like we're equals none-the-less. "And that _is_ with Allie and Grayson in mind… Allie can hear your thoughts and who knows what else! You've got to take that into consideration now, Stefan."

I spent quite a few years in a dysfunctional household. With my mom angry with my dad and my dad remorseful and removed from the daily happenings of our family. My parents divorced before I was in the fifth grade, but to this day I can remember horrible days in my childhood when they were arguing… how I wished to hide away in my dollhouse when things got really tense between them. Poor Allie. My poor little niece… it must be a hundred times worse since she knows their thoughts.

I don't know how long I'm lost in my childhood memories or how long we're silent until Stefan finally says, "Elena says she's ready to try again, that she doesn't care what happens with Katherine… How can I not give her a chance after all of the times she's put her trust in me?"

Hearing the sadness in his voice, the worry, I put my hand on his shoulder and try a smile – I wish it was a better one, but I'm exhausted from Matt's every three hour feedings and honestly, I'm just not convinced… but I've said my piece and that's all I can do. Stefan isn't the kind of guy to fall to peer pressure or to be told what to do. He's heard my thoughts, my opinion, now it's up to him.

For his sake – and Allie and Grayson's – I sure hope Elena knows what she's doing.

-Damon-

I don't know what's on his mind, but I'm glad he's awake. Stefan is usually a sound sleeper – early to bed, early to rise kind of guy. I'm pulling a red-eye shift out of hwy346 and it's been atleast an hour since a car has passed. If it weren't for the game of Words with Friends that I'm playing with Bonnie and the text messages from Stefan, I guarantee you I'd be asleep.

I mean, I don't want to sound like a shitty excuse for a cop, but now that I'm not a vampire, there is zero danger in this town… and even fewer drivers down this under-used highway! It's pitch-black, 2:52am… nothing's going on and nothing is going to happen. I should sleep… I should kick the drivers seat back and get some shut-eye!

But I need this job.

I need this job and I want to be a decent _something_ for once…

After taking a long swig of luke-warm coffee – more like oil from sitting for so long at that 24 hour truck stop – I laugh to myself as I submit my word on the scrabble-like game.

Adding B – E –W to a word Bonnie played earlier – itched.

BEWITCHED

Ha.

Stefan: Can you help on Wednesday?

Fucking hell.  
One time Stefan helps me and immediately he's wanting the favor repaid – moving help at that!

Me: Where's your little bitch going to be?

Stefan: I'll ignore that… but he's not going to be back from Dallas until the weekend.

I actually laugh outloud at the fact that Stefan knew who his 'little bitch' was without me having to say his royal name – Niklaus Mikaelson, the douchebag of Virginia.

I've got out of Tuesday because of work, but Stefan knows Wednesday is my off-day… thankfully, I have the perfect excuse.

Katherine's pregnancy is considered high-risk. She wanted to be treated extra carefully, so she told the OB that she's had a few miscarriages in the past. The woman is a genious… we get the best appointments, weekly sonograms, and THE best physicians for the care and planning. Not to mention, and this is my favorite part, we won't have to wait until 20 weeks to find out the sex because of something called an amniocentesis.

It's a crazy fucking expensive test that tells a lot more than if you're having a boy or girl – but I have no worries since Katherine is as healthy as a horse, no matter how old she is (almost 600, don't tell her I told you. Ha!)

Me: Can't. Kat has a dr. appointment on Wed. Doing an amnio and I have to be there.

I get an alert that Bonnie played a word.

She used my E from BEWitched to spell FEISTY.

It could be my imagination or the very late hour in which she and I happen to meet up to play this game every time I work the overnight shift, but somehow we always end up playing a dirty-word version of Words with Friends. I'm not complaining! Not at all… especially after that incident the day we worked on the nursery. Still, I've got to remember what a psycho bitch Katherine is at all times… last thing I want is a girl fight between the two of them.

… well, that might be alright … ha!

Stefan: Amnio?

-Allie-

Baby Matt is very sweet. Mommy says all babies are sweet, but I think this one is the best I've ever met. Grayson was really cute, and kind of funny when he was this little. But Baby Matt really wants to smile. I guess he can't for the same reason why he can't talk yet – Mommy says he'll learn all of that in time just like Grayson did. Even though Matt can't make his mouth move like he wants it to and he can't hold out his hand and touch me like he wants… I can feel how happy he is and Aunt Caroline said I can put my pointer finger in his little fist. It's hot and kind of sweaty in there, but Matt is so sweet and little bitty and fun that I don't mind it at all!

I like listening to his baby thoughts and feeling what he feels, but Mommy and Daddy are talking and laughing and it's hard to concentrate on him because I like to watch them when they like each other. Mommy was very worried about Aunt Caroline being mad from their fight – the whole ride from Aunt Bonnie's she was saying out practice apologies in her head and seeing Daddy too. I guess she said those things because Aunt Caroline and Mommy aren't mad and they are happy and Mommy even held Matt until he got hungry.

"Come on, Allie." Daddy runs his hand down my hair and I smile up at him even though I don't want to go with them to the porch. I want to stay with Matt and I want him and Mommy to keep liking each other even after he tells Mommy about the doctor lady.

"It's okay, Stef," Aunt Caroline is about to give Matt milk from her boob like Mommy used to with Grayson and Daddy wants to get out of here. Daddy is so funny about boobs. He likes Mommy's boobs, but not Aunt Caroline's. "She can stay… you guys go talk."

Aunt Caroline knows about the doctor lady too, and she knows that Mommy is gonna cry probably, but mostly she wants me to talk to her about Matt. Aunt Caroline and Uncle Klaus know how I can hear things that no one else can… I like that they know. And Daddy knows too, but he still talks outloud to me.

"You sure?" Daddy asks, making a face at her with big eyes and his eyebrows raised up that Mommy can't see. "You don't want some privacy?"

"Are you kidding?" Aunt Caroline laughs, then starts to move her shirt out of the way – laughing even harder when Daddy turns around very very fast to look at the wall. "Go on, Stefan."

Just like I thought, Mommy and Daddy aren't outside very long before Aunt Caroline starts asking me about Matt. I can't tell her very much or answer many of her questions because Matt doesn't talk like we talk and he doesn't think like we think, but I tell her that he really loves her and me. And I tell her that he doesn't like the wet wipes to be cold and his favorite thing so far is voices.

Matt really likes my voice especially.

I like him too.

-Stefan-

I hold her for a long moment – enjoying Elena's body against mine and her head on my shoulder as we sway very lightly on the wooden porch swing. I have to tell her about my appointment to see Meredith and about Katherine's amniocentesis… the moment of truth is just a few days away.

I'm relieved to know that we can DNA test and find out for sure… but there is a part of me, a huge part of me, that wishes all of this would have come to light later. After a few weeks of this blissful reconciliation with Elena. I need more of these kinds of moments.

The silent ones with no space between us and our frequency moving warm and slow through my bones.

Elena looks up at me and smiles that sweet smile that I love so much, the one that wrinkles up her nose a little, "I was planning on telling you how handsome you are, but you look exhausted." She laughs, then uses her short fingernails to brush the hair above my ear back, her hand resting against my neck.

"Damon worked all night and I stayed up talking to him." I try to sound nonchalant, hoping to make this seem as nothing.

"All night?" She gasps, "About what?"

Okay. Here goes…

"Random things… but I was trying to drag him into helping when the furniture is delivered on Tuesday, but he's got to work."

I watch her fingers walk down the zipper of my hoodie – all the way to my belt buckle, then start back up.

"Dang it… and Jeremy's got to work."

"Yea," I bite my bottom lip instead of biting hers. I need to get through this, so I take her walking fingers in my free hand. "I asked about Wednesday too, but he and Katherine have to do an amniocentesis."

She sits up – straight as an arrow – and at first I think that I've already set her off with the mere mentioning of Katherine and the baby, but then I notice the worried look in her endless brown eyes and feel her fingers squeezing mine.

"Is something wrong?"

"No." I touch her face – her soft skin against the palm of my hand makes me want to hold her against me, feel all of her skin against all of mine. "I mean, I don't think so… it's just precautionary because of her 'age'." Relaxing, she turns into my hand, grazes her lips against my palm. "But, um, there is…" I stammer when I'm struggling for the right way to deliver bad news. She knows it. Her nuzzle against my hand stops cold that the releasing of my 'um'. "I did some research and the fluid that is removed to test can be used for a paternity test…"

I feel her smile against my hand before I see it, "Really?" I nod, confused by her happy reaction. "Ugh, the wondering is the worst part! If we just knew one way or the other we could start to plan. Start to get our heads around this, you know?"

"Yeah, I do." I know that feeling exactly, spot on. Being in this purgatory has been torturous.

"So when can you go and do the test? Katherine is okay with it? What did she say? Can they do on the same day? How long until we get the results?"

"Ah, well, Katherine doesn't know. I can't take the chance of telling her and her taking out some kind of revenge." Elena nods, understanding.

"So how are you going to get this all done in secret?" She asks, her brow furrowed as I imagine she is running through all of the options. "I mean, how in the world can you get your hands on the fluid if Katherine doesn't give consent?"

One last look at her kind expression, I run my fingers down the length of her hair, graze my thumb over the top of her wrist.

"Meredith Fell is going to help me."

*****MORE TO COME*****

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****Next update, 2/23****


	25. Chapter 25

SIDENOTE – I am volunteering abroad for a couple of week and will most likely be out of the loop for awhile. Thanks to a wonderful gift I received, I will be able to work on the fic, I just don't know so much about posting (WIFI access and whatnot.) Therefore, I combined two chapters and here you have the new and improved (and incredibly long) chapter 25 of The Reaping.

CHAPTER 25 – THE REAPING

-Katherine-

When I answer Damon's third call – yes, third… can he not tell I'm ignoring him! - I do my very best put-on as I'm out of breath. I'm happy to blame it on the hours of dancing, the fact that I've cleaned the entire first floor of The Salvatore Boarding House, and of course, because of the extra pounds I'm carrying around my mid-section. At just over twelve weeks, my usually thin waist has this little bulge – a baby bump; isn't that what those grocery store glossies call it when a celebrity is pregnant.

I, Katherine Pierce (-Salvatore? …eh, I dunno), have a sweet little baby bump.

I guess I have a bit of a rounded face now too, and no matter how hard I try to deny it, I'm eating way too much and my arms feel thicker than usual. My arms and my legs. I always thought I'd be one those girls that gets pregnant and looks sexy anyway – Heidi Klum pregnant or Victoria Beckham sexy, not so much Jessica Simpson plump, which seems to be the way I'm headed. Way back when, my first pregnancy, there was no such thing as crunchy Hot Cheetos or Cherry Garcia Ice Cream – getting fat wasn't even an option!

When Elena was pregnant with Allie – yes, so what, I checked in on her since I thought Stefan was dead (fooled again.) – she barely put on any weight. I know I gave her some grief about her weight when we visited in Thailand, but really, she looked pretty damn good after baby number two! I'm not one to believe in karma, but my out-of-breath self can't help but think the bitch is haunting me with some extra weight for heckling Elena like I did.

"Hell-o?" I sound high-pitched, both annoyed and cheery at the same time, when really I'm just trying to inhale without panting into the receiver.

"Where have you been, Katherine?" When Damon is worried he's angry. Come to think of it, when Damon is anything other than horny, he's angry – and sometimes then too.

I just huff because the timing of his question doesn't line up with my deep breathing – in through my nose, out through my mouth.

"I've called you three times, I've been texting you for an hour!" I think I hear a bird squawk outside as Damon gives me a run-down of how many times he's caused me to have to stop dancing and hit the silence button on my phone – it's too dark for birds, so I start over to the window to take a peek. "I've got to work. We're understaffed and I can't get out of here, not for atleast three or four hours and-" I'm about to tell him that being a cop is stupid and he should just quit and live off the huge – uncashed – check from his brother, but peeling back the curtain reveals a sleek, charcoal grey SUV sitting out front and a little girl in pink thermal pajamas, purple fuzzy slippers, and a neon green tutu running up to the house. "I promised Stefan and Elena we'd watch Allie and Grayson while they go out to dinner with some friends from out of town."

"You did what!?" I shriek in a whisper, hiding to the side of the window just as Stefan, carrying Grayson (also in pajamas) and what looks like enough luggage for a round the world trip, struts around the front of the SUV.

I'm frozen for a moment – Allie's high pitched laughs getting closer! I snap through a hundred memories of Stefan and I, from the first time I ever laid eyes on him to the last time I had my hands on him… Never, not once in our very – very – long history has Stefan seen me looking anything less than gorgeous. Looking down at the ragged tee shirt and shorts, my ankles swollen and toenails painted red, but chipping – I'm reminded once more of how Karma may be conducting my life from the shadows.

The door bell dings at the very same time that Damon's voice is telling me that he'll be home to help as soon as he can and Stefan's voice is telling Allie about the actual door bell instead of the push-button kind. I can't believe how this feels as it's been hundreds of years since I've felt it, but my fingers and toes are nearly numb, the pit of my stomach is tied into an aching knot, and I'm flushed – hot and red -terribly embarrassed of how I look, maybe even how I smell! Mortified!

Ending the call with Damon without speaking, I take a few deep breaths as I wipe my rounded face a few times with my pinesol-scented hands incase I have smudges – untie my hair and run my fingers through the knotted curls to try and tame them into an actual up-do instead of a maid-like bun. All the while taking slow steps towards the front door. By the time I place my hand on the door knob and take in a deep breath, I've beat my embarrassment down enough that I can atleast _appear_ confident.

"If it isn't my favorite Salvatore." I tease, one hand on my hip.

Green eyes – green like a Christmas tree, or maybe darker, like Jade – two sets look back at me, both on unhappy faces.

"Where's Uncle Damon?" Allie whines, disappointment in her nasal tone. Stefan's large hand quickly finds her shoulder, enveloping it whole and giving a gentle squeeze like a reminder as he says her name in a soft, fatherly reprimand.

I can't stop the smirk on my face – kind of a 'ha, you got in trouble' look. Allie and I spend a moment staring one another down before Stefan says, "You don't have to do this, Katherine. To be honest," I look up at him and bring my smile back to my mouth, "I'd rather you not keep my children."

And that smile fades. For a man who's words alone have made my mouth water to taste him, I'm not surprised that he can be just as mean as he can elegant, sensual.

With 'his children' present, I know I probably shouldn't, but I can't help myself as I quickly return with, "I don't know why you'd be concerned seeing as how I'll I've been carrying your child for thirteen weeks with no problems."

He presses his lips together and glares at me as I look at him like I am unscathed by his angry face. I can see him playing all the worst case scenarios in his head, reluctant to enter the house at all, then finally stepping in and guiding Allie with his hand still on her shoulder.

Like a pro, Stefan sets up a porta-crib for the already sleepy Grayson, shows Allie the bathroom, helps her unroll her sleeping bag and gives me a verbal list of instructions.

- Grayson needs a bottle in half an hour.  
- Allie has already ate but will probably want a snack around 8:30 and might be ready for bed soon after.  
- Don't let them watch anything scary. (Darn, I'd planned a night of horror movies and tequila shots… really, Stefan? Do I seem that ignorant?)  
- He's meeting Elena and their friends at The Grille and should be back by ten, ten thirty at the latest.  
- Call if there are any problems.  
- Don't give them candy.  
- Allie's koala is in her bag.

He finishes talking to me like I'm a thirteen year old that he's hired off a bulletin board at the grocery store and not the person he's known the second longest in his life and when I don't give a 'yes, sir' or clap at his wonderful rendition of a capable father, he turns his palms up and shrugs a "well?"

"Well, what?" I ask, breaking the intense stare at picking beneath my fingernails – a distraction from how delicious Stefan looks in dark jeans, a cloudy-blue button up, and dark grey blazer.

"Did you get all of that? Did you even listen, Katherine?" I don't know why this is hurting my feelings – I mean, come on, he's threatened to kill me plenty of times, called me bad names, wished me out of his life forever, but hearing Stefan basically telling me that he's fearful for Allie and Grayson's well-being when staying with me, it hurts. "Forget it, I'll just take them home and Elena can go alo-"

"Jesus, Stefan…" I sigh with a roll of my eyes as I move hastily to the door. "Get over yourself. Do whatever you want, take'em - leave'em. I really _don't_ care. You think I _wanted_ to keep a couple of kids for the night? I might look disgusting right now, but believe it or not I had plans," Huge lie. "so either pack up the ton of crap you brought over here, take your kids and go, or shut up and leave. Take your child-bride out for dinner before she screws up this thin-ice reconciliation you two have made."

I stand there for a moment – door wide open, Allie looking at me like she can't believe anyone would speak to her grandiose father in such a way – and for a second, I think Stefan might call my bluff. I mean, he doesn't move a muscle for a long moment, only his brow gets lower and his jaw sets tighter.

I don't know why I want to prove to him that I can do it, but in order to reinforce his confidence in me, I add in a lighter tone, "I'm not an idiot, Stefan. I've taken care of myself, all alone, since I was a child, I think I can take care of these two long enough for you to eat a blooming onion and have a beer." Another couple of seconds of four green eyes looking at me in my ill-fitting cleaning clothes and messy hair, then he finally says a sweet goodbye to Allie and I'm shutting the door behind him – leaving me with Stefan and Elena's most prized possessions.

It's eerie quiet – awkward – with Stefan gone and Allie looking at me with that look she always has… like she wants to say something. She's six years old. What could she have to say?

Weird little girl.

-Stefan-

Robert drinks bourbon, neat. He does it in a way that makes me want to drink it too – I don't know if it's the way the glass looks in his hand – both the cut of the tumbler and the amber liquid sparkling in the warm lighting - or how the simple act of sipping the burning alcohol gives him the appearance of sophistication, but each time he orders one, so do I. A hundred and seventy some-odd years ago, I can recall this same type of emulation with my father.

I've never had trouble holding my liquor, I'm just not the type of guy that enjoys being drunk, yet here I am getting that buzzed feeling from a third glass of room temperature bourbon and the closeness of my wife's body to mine. My free hand has been moving closer and closer to her, possessed by its own selfish desire to hold her, to feel that static-spark of my skin on her skin – when she laughs at something Pepper says about one of the manuscripts they had worked on, I lose all control with the ringing chime of Elena's laugh in my ears.

This hunger - an inclination towards a less slow, less sweet - this taste for something more… passionate? No, that's the wrong word. More risqué, salacious… my vocabulary is failing me here. Wanton? Lewd? Naughty?

The most fitting word I can find that might explain my suppressed penchant is most simply rough.

Whatever you want to call it, I can't pretend that it's not a side-effect of Katherine - brought to the light in 1864 and rarely been seen since. A part of myself that, to be honest, I've only shared with her no matter how many times I've wanted to give in to the tormenting pleas from the darker, meaner, dirtier hollows of myself. Two, maybe three times, I've toyed with the idea of being with Elena in the same ways that I have been with Katherine – once at the Lakehouse, years ago, but stumbling upon a hollowed out part of her parents closet stole away my attention.

There was a night, back when I was nothing more than a mindless ripper, my humanity compelled away by Klaus, when Elena and Alaric had set up an elaborate plan to vervain me. Elena, drunk and incredibly cute… that easy smile on her face, the one that sets fire to an ache deep inside of my chest – she purposely fell from the bleachers and when I caught her, the feather-light weight of her in my arms, those clear, dark, endless brown eyes so close to mine and her body trembling with adrenaline – but, my iniquitous thoughts were quickly dampened by the burning pain of vervain flowing through my body.

Then in Miami. I was so angry with her, with Damon, with myself – just hours after reconciling with the keeper of my soul, only to find out she'd promised to marry my brother. When she joined me in the shower… the things that I wanted to do to her, that I _would_ have done to her, if only my damn loyalty to Damon wouldn't have clouded my head.

And now, for thirteen weeks, night after night – call it nightmares, dreams, whatever… no matter how guilty and disgusted I feel about what happened between Katherine and me – I can't deny that once again, Katherine has ignited that darker side of me. I close my eyes and my mind is riddled with both memories and fantasies, x-rated hallucinations of Elena, of us.

…and right now, I can't escape myself. There is a part of me – a large portion – that wants to have her right now.

Here.

At this table.

My fingers slip against the bare skin of her thigh first – a testing touch that starts at the hem of her dress, mid-thigh with her legs crossed like this, then trailing down to her knee. I've been without my wife for more than three months, that's my predetermined excuse for the indecent ideas fighting for the surface of my consciousness should I be called out for it. Through an appetizer, salads, and the main meal, I've been waging this war against myself, against the scent of her hair when she'd move the length of it from her shoulders, or lean towards me when telling a story.

I'm tired of fighting it. Of fighting against our gravity.

After we decided to end the separation, I wanted to go with her… but I will not go back to Jeremy and Bonnie's and Caroline still needed someone to stay with her and Matt. So, other than being able to touch her again, hold her against me, and a few kisses, our reconciliation has only been verbal.

The want I have for her is tenfold anything I've ever felt before. The bourbon, the gravity, her laugh, and the way she looks in the grey-blue dress she's wearing – I'm about to break.

The lighting at The Grille is low this time of night, but it, along with the candle in the center of our table keeps a glistening sheen on her wine-stained lips and keeps my mouth hungry for hers. Cutting her eyes towards me, her lips curved into a delicious looking smile, her wet lips reinforce my craving to feel her on my fingertips and my hand moves back up her leg, palm on her thigh, fingers curved with the shape, slipping between her legs.

She looks away from me as she responds to Robert, but I can't take my eyes off her. Her beautiful face – her slender neck and the feminine shape of her shoulders. Squeezing my fingers between her thighs, I feel hungry – starved – losing my fight to stay away from her and anxious to see her beautiful face reacting to my touch. I want to watch her mouth as she sighs my name and see the way her chin trembles as I move faster, harder. But at this moment, I want to see how she does at playing it off. It's obscene – I know – but it's all I can think of as I imagine what it would be like to slip my fingers inside of her right here at this table with no one any the wiser.

"Stefan," Pepper says my name and I almost ignore her, intently focused on the images in my mindseye, but Elena's hand takes mine from her leg and I watch as my chance is held captive in her lap. I don't feel too crushed… I mean, let's be honest, Elena would have never gone for such a thing. "Have you been writing too?"

Have I been writing, too? – Did I miss something? I don't know how long I've been absent from the table conversation, lost in my lewd desire for her.

"I was telling them about my fictional, non-fiction, semi-biographical, slash-self help thing I've been working on." Elena explains with a laugh, the hold on my hand not quite as tight now that I'm not looking at her like I want to devour her. "It's been a kind of therapy – writing everything out…" Something about the way she's speaking – low and quiet, her eyes focused on our hands, then looking into mine – it feels like she's talking only to me. Maybe she is. "With all of the fear and the danger, all of the unknowns from when we first met, then the years that I was compelled – all the things that I was told versus reality – it's been very helpful to get everything out. Write it down as if I was telling someone '_this_ is what happened and _this_ is why and _this_ is how I felt and this is what I _wish_ I'd done."

I nod. I can't tell you how well I understand exactly what she means. It's the reason I started keeping a journal so many years ago. It clears the fog – gives you perfect vision of your memories. Releasing her hand, I brush her hair from her shoulders and graze my thumb against her neck as she adds, "…especially with what's happened recently."

I've gone from wanting to seduce her beneath the table in this busy restaurant to wanting to confess my undying love to her in less than five seconds.

This girl – this woman – she owns me.

"Robert and I," Pepper is using her motherly tone and it catches Elena and I both, turning our heads in unison – breaking our gaze at one another to look at our impromptu parents. "Elena, when you called me that day – to tell me about, well, about what happened with the girl –" I think I might be ill at airing of what I've done so publicly, like a town square trial. "I can't tell you how heartbroken I was, _we were_, about what you two were going through. Again!" Robert places his arm around her small shoulders, telling me that when Pepper says she was very upset, she's not exaggerating. "We can't imagine how difficult things have been for you both, all along… and to tell you the truth, we were worried about what we'd find during this visit."

"We were prepared for the worst." Robert adds, and I notice how they continually use the word "we"… I like that. How it's their default to discuss their thoughts as their shared thoughts. Their fears are their shared fears… shared concerns. The entire dinner – from handling issues with Kennedy and Carter, to affairs at the office – it's always a 'we decided'. "I have to say, we're pleased at how well you seem to be getting along."

Elena and I both smile – almost shyly – stealing a quick glance at one another, her hand resting on my leg, my fingers curling and uncurling in a slow rhythm against her shoulder with my arm on the back of her chair.

"_Cautiously_ pleased!" Pepper hold up her hands.

"Yes, cautiously…" Robert adds, then sips his bourbon. I follow suit.

"We're going to be okay. " Elena tries, and honestly, she sounds completely committed.

I can't say that I'm in need of any convincing myself – after I told her about Meredith helping with the DNA testing on Wednesday, about our forty-five minute conversation at the hospital and then another half hour on the phone discussing a plan, Elena seemed okay. Don't get me wrong, I could tell she was still fuming about the text from Caroline about setting me up with the Doctor, but she let it go, she moved on and she's on board. 'We're going to be okay' sounds like it could be true… if only those words weren't loaded with what seems to be a curse.

Giving our waitress a moment to pick up the dishes and refill Elena and Pepper's wine glasses, Robert continues when we are alone once more. "It's not that we don't believe that you know what you're doing,"

This time Pepper interrupts, "We do. We trust that you know what works the best for you as a couple."

"But we don't want you to feel as though you have to put on a show for us…" Robert's words hang heavy as Elena and I register what he's insinuating – that maybe our happy-couple image is for dinner with them alone. I laugh. I can't help it. I laugh out of frustration with this goddamn subject and how it infiltrates every aspect of my life, and I laugh because it's all I can do… why can't we go on pretending that Elena has forgiven me and that I am as sure of her love for me as I am the stars in the sky!? As he continues, giving me the same kind of look that I dish out for Allie when she's being rude. "We would like to be of any help that we can – really. But we can't assist in any way at all if you're not going to be honest with us."

"Robert," Elena says in a much more sweet chuckle that my attitude riddled laugh, "Stefan and I would never be anything less than honest with you both. We love you like… well, like you're our very own parents and it's true that we don't want you to worry, but at the same time we wouldn't try to deceive you."

Pepper seems to glow at Elena's confession of how well we think of the pair of them, but she continues on, "Then tell us, how did you go from discussing divorce to this? We just talked yesterday, Elena, and when I asked you how things were you said there had been 'minimal improvements'."

-Damon-

Every cops dream, pulling over a BMW m6 full of gorgeous women.

Filling in for James – his kid was sick and his wife is out of town – I've been sitting out here for two hours and I get one car speeding. It's a jackpot! Well, it would be, if only Meredith Fell wasn't here I'd be able to play up the whole 'sexy cop' routine. Something about her knowing me from back when I was chasing my brothers girl and drinking bottles of whiskey with Ric as a hobby just kills the fantasy, even if the driver – a beautiful blond, ex cheerleader type – is smiling up at me like she'd do anything to not get a ticket.

"You aren't going to give me a ticket, are you, Officer Salvatore?" The blond driver flirts in a Marilyn Monroe whisper of a voice as I come back to her window with her drivers license and registration. Using my name tells me that while I was running her information back in the squad car, Dr. Psycho-Fell must have told them she knew me. "It's my bachelorette party!" She adds with a pout and I see an image of Rebekah Mikaelson in my head that makes me want to bang my head against the hood of this very nice, souped up car.

"Hey Damon." Meredith waves from the small backseat that she's sharing with three other women.

I nod, "Dr. Fell." Then get back to business. Ever since I became human, I don't like to run into people who knew me back-when. Liz, Carol – that's different. "Where are you ladies headed?" I ask the driver.

"We had plans to go to DeSoto – over to that male strip club, ya know?" Says an obviously drunk girl from the passenger seat, holding a cardboard box full of hot pink gift bags in her lap and leaning over the console to look up at me. "Wow, you sir, are one hot po-po." And they all giggle… all but Meredith.

I have a strange need to prove to Meredith – and everyone really – that I'm not a failure. I'm not just a has-been, used-to-be-bad ass. I can actually be a good guy, responsible. "I see your passenger has been drinking, ma'am."

"Oh no, sir!" The blonde driver shakes her head, "I mean, yes, she has, but I haven't. I haven't I swear!"

I hear Meredith vouch for her – saying that she and the driver are not drinking tonight and that they are now headed for a late dinner in town.

"Yea…" The drunk passenger sighs, "nothing says bachelorette party like a burger and fries at the Mystic Grille."

Sounds low key enough and I didn't pull anything back when I ran her information, so I give her ID and documents back with a warning about speeding and that they will need a designated driver if they plan on having drinks at The Grille. I make a quick 'have a good night' exit and head back to my car, checking my watch and wishing I could've been able to hang out with my niece and nephew… I wonder how Katherine is doing.

-Elena-

I think we both knew this was going to happen – the blunt questions and the need for explanation. The last time we had an actual face-to-face with Pepper and Robert was the day that Jennifer found the video of Stefan proposing to me in Italy. A surprise to everyone at that meeting… with me compelled and everyone else believing that he and I had only dated a bit in high school. Between Stefan's cliff-notes run-down of what he was and how his blood could save her, and my teary confession in his empty office after seeing the video of the happiest moment of my life that I couldn't remember, Pepper and Robert understand just enough to be confused.

"I came into the office and nearly fell over from the smell of bleach!" Robert chuckles, the bourbon loosening him up and giving a warm glow to his cheeks and the end of his nose. "Then there's a note, scribbled on an envelope from 'Stefan's brother', and a blank check for a 'professional cleaning'!"

Without taking his hand from my body, Stefan sits up, leans his weight onto the table a bit in order to speak quitter – I hope no one notices the shiver run down me from the way his finger tips graze over me, from my right shoulder, just below my neck, against my left shoulder, then down my arm until they finally lace with my own. "I know I've apologized about this before, but Robert, I can't tell you how ashamed of –"

Stefan, always conscious-stricken by his past, doesn't see the disbelief on Robert's face.

"Wait right there, Stef." Robert mirrors Stefan's position, leaning in towards the table as they discuss the mess of blood that Stefan left in my office after he fought Kol, one of the Original's. "They had Allie. That bastard tried to force himself on Elena. If you hadn't have done it, I sure as hell would have! There is no reason, absolutely no reason why you should feel sorry for what you did to that –"

"Robert." Pepper tucks her arm beneath his as she says his name, never liking to hear curse words.

Flustered, visibly upset, Robert apologizes under his breath, shaking his head as if to realign his thoughts. "And you're sure that that-ones brother has nothing to do with what happened in Thailand?" Robert asks in a graveled voice from downing the rest of his drink.

Klaus and Katherine working together, never.

Stefan and I share a quick look as if to verify that we are thinking the same thing, "We're sure." He turns back to them, but not before I see his eyes glance down at my mouth. "They are enemies, from years back. Hundreds of years… there is no way."

Pepper sits back, looks away. I don't know why I feel this way, but I swear she's trying not to say something. Backing away from us and looking towards the bar as if to remove herself as much as she can without actually standing up and walking away.

When he notices Pepper's body language, Stefan asks, "Pepper, what is it?"

Back in Wilmington, when I thought I barely knew him and had been compelled to forget the thousands of memories I had with Stefan, even without knowing him the way I truly did and do now, the way he spoke of Pepper, even back then, I knew that she meant a lot to him. I could sense how much he cared for her, how he had her high on a pedestal and thought highly of this woman I'd never met. Four years later, her opinion of him means more to Stefan than you could imagine.

"I…" Pepper stops, sips her wine before continuing. The tone of her voice is one I recognize from my past – from the few times that I had really let my parents down – disappointment. "Stefan, I just can't see how you let this happen. How in the world could you have confused another woman for your wife?" I feel the frequency between Stefan and I change, I can truly feel the heavy guilt hitting him – a crushing weight. And as much as I hate it for him – as much as I want to **not** feel the ping of happiness in my heart that _finally_ someone else has the same thought about what happened with him and Katherine, I do. I'm thrilled that I'm not the only person who found it shocking – completely unbelievable – that Stefan couldn't tell the difference! I'm no longer doubtful about it – Bonnie spelled him to tell the truth and his story did not change at all. But still, it's a relief to know that I wasn't completely out of line for being hesitant to believe it at first. "You're so careful, with everything you do. And from the first time we saw you with Elena we could tell how deeply in love with her you are…" Stefan's eyes are on the table now, he even tried to pull his hand away from mine, but I resisted, holding his hand tight with both of mine. "I'm sorry to bring this up at all. I mean, I had no plans of speaking these thoughts aloud – especially not with Elena present – but Stefan, son, I just…"

I don't know if it's the sadness in his voice or the barely there volume in which he's speaking, but my heart hurts for Stefan as he responds with his only excuse – one that I've heard over and over, "She looks just like her…"

"Even the most identical of identical twins have differences, Stefan." Pepper responds in reprimanding, yet gentle, way.

I'll never, ever admit it, but it feels good to have someone on my side for once.

"It's different –" He's talking about our appearances, but those two words remind me of how he answered my question at Bonnie's – when I crossed that line and pushed our relationship to the brink – _it's different_ are the same words he used to answer if he liked being with her more than me. _It's not better, it's different. _And I'm suddenly feeling much less sorry for him. "They are mirror images of one another."

-Pepper-

I never should have opened my darn mouth about this subject.

They were trying so hard to act as if everything was okay between the two of them. With the sweet touches and the sharing of those loving glances. I wish I would have just left well enough alone. Because that's what it was, wasn't it. Well-enough. Good enough to pass as okay.

It's just that I love these two kids like they are my own. Like I love Carter and Kennedy. Seeing as how I was cursed with an early case of ovarian cancer that led to a hysterectomy by the time I was twenty-six, I have no actual children of my own and taking young ones under my wing has been a saving grace. Stefan, Elena, and Caroline too – they are a blessing to have in my life and honestly, I wouldn't change a thing if it meant I'd lose any of them or their children.

So I guess that's why I couldn't let good enough pass as right.

There is nothing more that Robert and I want than for Elena and Stefan to make it through this – and not just get through it but be stronger and more resilient from having to face such a horrid obstacle in their marriage! Being older doesn't make you wiser – so Stefan's being more than twice my age doesn't sway my belief at all that they are going about this all wrong! I've been married twice – my sweet Robert is my second husband – and if I can claim anything that has made me qualified to give advice, it's experience. It's living a real life. With real human problems… like where to live, how to compromise, and how to make it through adultery.

Yes. Yes, I do hear Stefan and I believe him… I swear it I do. Stefan's kind and ethical soul won me over long before he saved my life with his supernatural blood. It didn't take much time spent with him to learn that he is a good man with a kind heart and a warm soul… but Elena and Stefan cannot simply bury this. They have to talk about it! They have to work through it with a fine tooth comb and make sure every tiny little speck of doubt is accounted for and demolished before moving on.

Take it from someone who knows, even the smallest unanswered fear, when left alone – ignored and unattended to – it can grow from a passing shadow of doubt to a looming storm of destruction without you even realizing it. But once it finally rears its ugly head, it's too late. It's too big and it's too strong and it's been growing and growing for weeks or months or years and it'll take over. It will ruin everything.

I love Stefan and I love Elena and Robert and I cherish their children with all of our hearts – so much so that we cannot let them make this monumental error. So, as much it breaks my heart to see Stefan look so crestfallen, and to watch the thin veil fall from Elena's guise of happiness, they have to discuss this and I'll take the blame for opening the wound once more if it means that in the long run, they'll have a real chance.

Over the music playing from the jukebox near the pool table, I can just barely catch Stefan's response, "It's different… they are mirror images of one another." But Elena's soft gaze transforms almost instantly – it's more harsh, her shoulders more square.

"Well, Stefan," Elena's voice is airy, too light and out of place, giving way to her fuming resentment. Her voice alone tells me I was right about this reunion coming too soon, too quickly, and too easily. "I mean, we aren't exactly alike. There _are_ differences." He turns to look at her with a shocked expression that Elena either doesn't see or ignores, as she turns to speak to me and Robert. "She has naturally curly hair, so it's thicker even when straightened with a flat iron. And it's course, like curly hair is, you know?"

Robert's hand on my leg squeezes gently – an 'uh-oh' and 'you were right' that does not make me happy in the least, when in any other situation a wife loves to prove her husband wrong.

"Her hair is thicker?" Stefan frowns, leaning back in his seat. I think this might be the first time all night that he hasn't had some kind of physical contact with her.

"Yea, because it's naturally curly." Elena tries to play it off, taking a cold roll from the basket of bread still sitting in the middle of our table, pulling it in half and adding, "And, like you said, with her, it's different, than with me."

There. That's it. That's Elena's shadow of doubt… that he wants this other woman more than he wants her.

"Elena," Stefan's eyes cut to Robert and I, obviously not wanting to discuss this in front of us and maybe even getting irritated with her. I can't say I blame him for either. It's a very private matter for one, and she shouldn't have led him to believe she was accepting of it all if the truth is that she's not even able to keep her cool about it for more than a few seconds.

Honesty –verbal, emotional, and physical – it's the truth of long lasting relationships.

When you're mad – you've got to show it.

When you're hiding something – you've got to expose it.

When you need something more, different, in the bedroom – you've got to be brave enough to ask for it.

No lies, no hiding. Not if you want to live your life holding the same hand for all of your years.

"Elena, can we discuss this later?"

"And then our gravity, Stefan." Elena sits both halves of the roll back on the table, turning towards Stefan a bit and resting her hands in her lap. "I totally get that you didn't notice her hair, but how did you not feel that this was missing?" Elena gestures between their chests, leaving Robert and I to share a confused look.

Their _gravity_… and what exactly is _this_?

Stefan suddenly looks exhausted, just completely beat down, and I want to put a reign on Elena for the time being. My point has been made – they need to really talk about these things, but not here and not after multiple glasses of wine and a few tumblers of bourbon. "Please, Elena," Stefan shakes his head, looking up at her with his brow low and head tilted slightly down. "Not here."

Ignoring his gentle request, Elena turns to Robert and I, "At first, when we first met, I thought that I was just nervous around him, or that I felt intimidated by how good looking and mysterious the new boy was, then when I found out he was a vam– when I learned that he was _different_, I thought that the strange feeling I got when he was around was because we weren't the same…" She still seems upset, but recalling memories of their past has softened her a bit and she places her hand on his leg as she continues with a soft smile on her face. "When it really hit me, when I realized that I only felt this vibration, like a static frequency, that I only felt it when I was with him – no others like him – was when he found me in Miami. I'd noticed it soon after he and Klaus came back to Mystic Falls, but he was different and I was kind of scared of what he could do. When I got back from Spain, I thought I was feeling guilt or shame… but then, in Miami…" Stefan's jaw is tight, locked as stiffly as his stare on the table. Recalling these memories may be softening Elena again, but Stefan seems to be getting more wound up. "He was human and I wasn't scared and I was too happy to see him alive to be guilty about anything… that's when I realized that it wasn't the circumstance or the context, it was Stefan. It was Stefan and me."

I ask him a question in hopes of breaking his stone-demeanor, "And you feel this 'frequency' too?"

He nods, licks his lips, "From the first time I saw her."

The table is quiet for a moment – Robert and I are processing what we've just heard and Stefan and Elena seem to be lost in their own heads until Elena breaks the silence.

"So that's what I mean," Elena is using that too light, too high pitched tone again, "So many times before Katherine had pretended to be me and trust me, she's really great at it! She's tricked my own family, my best friends, even Damon," She and Stefan meet each other's eyes – a hard, green glare matched against Elena's wide-eyed, cavalier smirk - when she adds after a slight hesitation for punctuation, "but never Stefan. Well, until now."

Robert's squeeze on my leg is much less gentle and I get what he's saying – that thought I may have been right with my suspicions, he was right when he said this dinner was not the time nor the place to bring it up. Taking his cue to put a stop to what looks to be the start of an extensive argument, I make a scene about needing to use the rest room and suggest Elena come with me.

It takes a moment – an awkward, heavy second or two for Elena to look away from Stefan and break their combative stare – but when she finally stands, I swear Robert and I release a simultaneous sigh of relief.

-Stefan-

I feel like such an asshole… a fool!

I can't look at Robert. I'm a sorry excuse for the good man that I know he believed me to be. He loves Elena – he and Pepper are the closest thing to in-laws that I will ever have and here I am, sitting like an apprehended criminal under the frowning gaze of a man I respect in more ways that I can verbalize.

She looks just like her…

I wasn't on guard…

When I saw her, standing in the doorway in that silky dress in the dead silence of that dark night, my walls-down, intoxicated state-of-mind just wanted her – my wife. So much that I wasn't paying attention to anything else…

And that's how I missed it. That's how I missed the emptiness. That's how I missed the lack of our frequency.

Lost in my thoughts, I give a few well-placed nods and 'yes', 'okay', and 'umhmm's as Robert does the best he can to make small talk. The weather. The dark wood bar. A few reading suggestions.

"How are you doing, Stefan?" His large hand on my shoulder, reaching across the table, it pulls be back into the present. I try a half shrug/nod – a wordless 'I'm okay', but he doesn't buy it. "This can't be easy on you either, son."

Laying my head back, I inhale deeply through my nose and crack my knuckles in my lap. I've done so many terrible things in my life, but this may be the one thing that will gut me. In the end, I'm going to lose everything. Looking at him again, I sigh, "I've ruined my entire life, Dex… how do you think I'm doing?"

If the test on Wednesday proves Katherine right, I'll be a void, cavernous existence.

"Stef, now listen to me, you aren't guilty. You were hood-winked!" Even with his very enthusiastic tone, I know that's not true. I enjoyed being with Katherine far too much to be blameless… without the gravity, without the apparent difference in the hair, I should have known that it was not Elena in my arms by the way being with her felt.

Please do not misunderstand me… making love with Elena is amazing. It's beautiful and passionate and I lose myself when I'm with her. It's the closest I've ever been to anything heavenly… but being with Katherine is the complete opposite. And as I said, it's not better – it's different… and very good. Being with Katherine is provocative, tempting… like fire.

"Stefan" Fingernails scratch just at the hairline above the collar of my shirt – sending that same kind of heat down my spine and pooling in my flexed thigh muscles, pushing me into a standing position as Meredith's hand moves down my arm. "Hey! How are you?" I don't see it coming – the quick kiss on my jaw line, right below my ear, but I damn sure feel it.

Like fire.

I step back, leaving Meredith and I flanking the chair I'd been sitting in. There is nothing particularly special about her – she's a very attractive woman, kind, intelligent, and funny… but I'm not deluded to think that the response of my body has anything to do with her.

My unanswered want for Elena and haunting memories of Katherine are ruining me.

Missing her question – or ignoring it for the sole need of turning this two person conversation into three – I introduce Robert. "He and his wife, Pepper, are friends of ours – mine and Elena's – from Wilmington."

"Oh hello!" Robert stands to meet Meredith's handshake, "I'm Meredith Fell."

"Doctor Fell!" I throw in – hoping that Robert will run with the topic and give me a minute to regroup. "She's an old friend of my brothers."

He starts to – I can see the sparke of interest in his alcohol glassed eyes – but Meredith shuts him off with, "Not tonight," nodding towards a table of four other women, younger than Meredith… closer to Elena's age. With the pink and black gift bags and the few girls scantily clad, it looks like they are setting up a party. "Tonight I'm one of the girls." Her flat tone tells us that she'd rather be elsewhere and she gives us details without either of us asking. "I think it's a pity-invite, or maybe they just needed a designated driver, but one of the nurses is getting married and I got roped into coming to her bachelorette party."

-Elena-

Repeating Pepper's advice in my head, I step out of the bathroom and right into another person trying to come in. Preoccupied by the hurtful way I left Stefan at the table and Pepper's advice that she and Robert get the kids from Damon to give Stefan and I chance to talk, I give a quick apology and start on my way.

"Elena?" The girl almost shrieks, "Oh my gawd, Elena friggin' Gilbert!" Only one person in my entire life has called me Elena friggin' Gilbert.

The high pitch of her voice and the silly middle name makes me smile as I remember the many study sessions that Rory and I spent together at the University of Virginia.

"Rory!" I hug her back just as tightly as she hugs me, inhaling the scent of those cheap cigarette's that she was always sucking on. _All the Victorias Secret models smoke, Elena!_ That's what she used to say to me when I'd complain about the smoke or try to talk her out of the habit all together. Moving back to look at each other, I've got to admit the girl hasn't put on a pound… but her lips seem less plumb and her skin just a bit dimmer than I recall it being.

"Elena Friggin' Gilbert, I can't believe I'm running into you in this tiny little town! What are you doing here?" She giggles as Pepper gives me a small nod as she exits the restroom and moves past us to go back to the table. "I mean, I remember you saying you were from one of these little hick towns but what are the odds!"

Little hick town. Ugh.

Rory – I love her. But she honestly believes Charolettesville is some kind of metro-supernova and the rest of the state drinks well-water and chews on stalks of wheat while we rock in wooden chairs on our front porches.

"This is my town!" I laugh half-heartedly. "I grew up here."

"Here?" She gives a drunk sqwak, like I've suggested we eat dinner off of the bathroom floor.

To keep myself from rolling my eyes or pushing her down, I change the subject, "What are you doing here? Of all places!"

"Oh gawd, Elena…" She groans and rolls her head around dramatically. "My little sister, she's a nurse here ya know, she's getting married to the mayor's son, and like all of her girlfriends totally bailed on her tonight. Can you believe that?"

"Tyler Lockwood?" I gasp.

Why my first thought is_ oh Caroline…_ I don't know. I mean, come on, she's married to Klaus and they've just had a baby, but Tyler was Caroline's first love. I can't imagine losing Stefan to someone else, no matter what split us apart.

It's crazy, probably way too possessive, but in my head, I'll always be his and he'll always be mine.

"Yea, yea, you know him? He's kind of a dick, right?" I laugh – he is kind of a dick. "So yea, it's just her and some co-workers and me and like fifteen giftbags that I guess we're going to toss in the trash!"

I get the feeling that this conversation could go on all night seeing as how Rory is drunk and she's always had a difficult time knowing when and how to end what should be a quick 'hey there!' - she once made me so late for class that by the time I'd got there the door was locked and I missed a test.

Thankfully, Damon was still a vampire back then and he compelled my professor to let me re-take the test.

"Hey, listen Rory, it was so good to see you," I pull her into another hug, this one quicker. "but my husband is waiting for me –"

"Oh my gawd, Elena Friggin' Gilbert, you're married?" Another drunk shriek. "Like what in the hell!" I try to start in again, but she calls over my shoulder, "Riley! Riley!" Explaining, "Riley is my little sister." Calling again, "Riley, come here! And bring a gift bag!"

-Bonnie-

I can't find my phone anywhere – as in, I wouldn't be surprised if Lola or Liam some how ingested the dang thing and I find it in their diapers in the morning! I've looked in every cushion crevice, beneath ever piece of furniture, tossed up the covers of my bed, the lap blanket on the couch in the living room, dumped out my purse, and scavenged beneath the seats of my car… nothing.

Let's call it a civic duty – but it's nearly ten fifteen and if Damon is working the midnight shift, he's going to be online and, hey, I wanna stay sharp on my Words with Friends skills!

"Hey, Jer?" He takes way too hot of showers and the steam does a number on my hair, so I just barely crack the door to the bathroom and talk loudly enough to be heard over the water. "Where is your phone?"

"Huh?"

I open the door a bit further – rushed for time and maybe a little anxious to talk to Damon… he's become my secret pick-me up. I laugh when we talk. I flirt a little… (or a lot, whatever.), and it's just a really nice break after a full to the brim kind of day. "Where is your phone?"

"Um, what?" The shrill sound of metal curtain hooks on metal curtain rod sends a shiver down my skin like nails on a chalk board. "Why do you want my phone?"

Maybe he has water in his ears… that's why he sounds odd.

And he probably has that strange look on his face because of the water droplets running down from his messy hair…

But I get a really uneasy feeling for a moment.

"I mean, what's wrong, Bon?"

"Um," Something that Caroline said to Elena when we were in Thailand springs mind. At the time, it meant nothing to me. But after this morning, last night, him joining me in the shower – being very 'attentive', which is actually very un-Jeremy like – and now this odd tone of voice and an unrecognizable expression on his face, all I can hear is Caroline saying _It's one of the many pluses of being with a guy who has an eternally guilty conscience… they live to please_. "Uh, I… my phone." I try to shake this empty-pit feeling in my stomach, "I can't find my iPhone. I was going to call it from yours."

"Oh yea, right." Jeremy smile – he has a really great smile, sweet and honest. Pulling the curtain to with much less haste, I think he's going to tell me where his phone is and simultaneously ease this burning hot panic rising in the back of my throat when he says, "Good idea." Water off. "I'm finished, so I'll help you look for it."

Swallowing a bit of stomach bile that is trying desperately to escape my mouth, I try to sound normal, blinking away watery eyes, "It's okay, I'll just call it from your ph-"

Jeremy opens the curtain, towel around his waist and his wonderfully thick body sparkling with drops of water – he sure spends a lot of time working on his appearance… "Babe, I don't mind at all." Another winning smile as he pushes his hair off of his forehead, then takes his cell from the pocket of the jeans he'd been wearing. I smile - or give my best impersonation of one – as he adds in a chuckle, "I live to please."

-Stefan-

I sense her before I hear her.

I hear her before I see her.

I see the look in her eyes before I feel her fingers lace with mine.

If I thought the pin-prickling anger was painful when she started over to the table with Robert, Pepper, Meredith, and I, the electric-shock that her hand sends into my skin is honest-to-God vervain-burning painful! I even flinch a bit – Elena is more angry than I've ever seen.

"Elena," I start to try and bring her into the conversation, hopefully show her that though Meredith was standing somewhat close to me, and yes I was laughing along with Robert and Pepper at an ER story she'd told, it was purely innocent. "Mere-"

"Meredith, hi. How are you?" Elena asks, choppy. As if there were a period after each word.

I feel bad for Meredith instantly.

I know she had some kind of hopes that she and I may hit it off, maybe I'd take her out of for a drink, and the sight of Elena's hand in mine and my obviously angry wife has caused her to blush like a child. Can you imagine being in her shoes – giving her number to Elena's friend to give to her husband. I don't know, maybe I made our separation out to be something more than it was. Really, I've known all along that I wouldn't be able to keep away from Elena for long. Two months only passed by successfully because Klaus has kept me busy researching the history of Demi-Gods and other supernatural beings. But how would Meredith have known that… she can't possibly understand Elena and I – we're endless.

"Um" Meredith steals a quick look at me, at my hand holding Elena's, then to Elena's face. "Yea, hey, Elena, I'm good." A nervous laugh, another very quick look at me – her caramel brown eyes rimmed with a reddening face. "How is uh, um baby Matt? And uh…"

"Caroline." Elena smirks, her neck whipping side to side in a teenager-attitude kind of way. Meredith laughs again, more nervous that the one prior. "You can't even remember her name but you use her to pass along a message to her married friend?"

I tug on Elena's hand – Meredith is obviously embarrassed enough as it is – there is no need in making it any worse.

Covering her face with her hand, Meredith shakes her head gently, speaking through her fingers, "Elena, I cannot apologize enough, I don't know what I was thinking…"

"It's fine." I try, causing Elena to tug roughly on my arm in return, cutting her eyes up at me. I frown, mouth a 'what?' that's met with a rolling of her eyes.

"No, Stefan, it's not." Meredith groans, pressing a breath through tight lips. "Elena, he gave me absolutely no reason to think that he was… um, single, I guess. I'm so embarrassed I can't even put this into words."

Again, I try to put an end to this. Meredith made an honest mistake – no lines were crossed. And most importantly, I need this woman to break about fifty laws to help me steal the amniotic fluid that will be removed from Katherine for her test. I have zero plans of ever dating her, or taking her out for a drink, or anything else really… but the least I can do is keep my wife from pouring salt on her wound.

"There is no reason for you to be embarrassed, Meredith. Really." Releasing Elena's hand, I put my arm around her small shoulders and pull her body against mine, praying that she understands why I'm trying to defuse this situation.

"Ugh," Meredith smiles, nervously pushing in the chair that I'd been sitting in and then used as a barricade. "Stefan, you're much too kind…" Looking down at the floor for a long second, then up at me…

I see it. I don't want to… I want to think that maybe she's looking up at me through her lashes like that – in that way – for some other reason. Maybe I'm mis-reading it. Maybe she's got a crick in her neck and cant lift her head back to the neutral position.

Again, I sense Elena – a rage beaming off of her and against me like steel wool gnawing into my skin.

Then I hear her – a quick, shocked inhale.

When Elena steps forward, I feel her body swipe against mine, my arm falling from her shoulder – everything is happening so quickly and it seems so unreal that I hardly believe what I'm seeing.

I hear the clink of glass against a bread dish, see the goblet in Elena's hand, and just before everything actually registers, Dr. Meredith Fell gets a face full of red wine just as I reach out to stop Elena – a second to short – and the woman I need to help me put an end to all of this. Either good or bad – an end nonetheless – gives a near-silent shriek, a mix of tears and wine running in black mascara streaks down her face, and then takes off in a run towards the door.

-Elena-

I fought back.

You can't stand there and apologize – play the damsel in distress act right in front of me – and then give my husband a flirty, sexy look as you compliment him.

So I fought back!

Stefan is staring at me like I've lost my mind – Pepper and Robert are silent, as is the rest of the restaurant, everyone looking at me in disbelief.

I want to yell 'That's right! Elena Friggin' Salvatore just stood up for herself!' I want to stand on the chair and do a little victory dance and maybe a fist pump because you know what? I'm sick of being the girl that gets stepped on! I'm sick of being the girl that needs a helping hand or a posse of people at her back.

Maybe it's the wine, hell, I don't know, but I feel like a million dollars! Like I'm made out of diamonds! Like a new me… or the old me!

I'm smiling and a little out of breath from the adrenaline when my eyes move over Pepper and Robert – she's biting at her fingernail, he's looking at the wine splashed on the table, staining the white cloth napkins. Then I feel the frequency – the push pull – the vibration that we share, that supernatural connection that my soul has with Stefan.

It's like a warm shower – the way it washes over me as my adrenaline starts to ease up – but it's getting softer, weaker. Turning to him, my smile fades, my strong-girl persona even cracks a little as I watch my husband jogging towards the door, following Meredith.

Breathless, through a falling smile, I call his name, "Stefan?".

X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X+X

I wait by his car, wrapping the fabric of my cashmere Pashmina tightly around my body, my arms folding the light grey scarf into a wad of material against my chest – something like a shield. Needless to say by this point in our story, you know that I can already feel that Stefan is angry – our frequency is jagged and razor-sharp – but the few times that he's looked over at me from beneath the street lamp where he's finishing up what is sure to be a grand apology for my wine tossing, his evergreen eyes nearly cut me.

I wish I could tell you that I feel terrible for my 'immature actions' as Robert titled it – or how I reacted like a 'girl from the sticks of Virginia' – Thanks, Pepper – but I don't. Not even the toothy gnaw of Stefan's stolen glances at me will make me feel bad for what I did. How many years have I been the girl that needs saved? Caroline flirts with my boyfriends – oh yea, even back when I was dating Matt and Stefan had yet to steal me away from reality, Caroline was like an ever-present competitor. But I never even flustered! Not once did I give her attitude or stake claim on what was mine. If it hadn't been for Stefan's very firm turn down of Caroline's persistence back at the bonfire the night we first talked, I probably would have had to deal with the same kind of gnat-like presence of my best frenemy.

Oh, Damon Salvatore has tried to murder Matt's sister... no problem, you can handle that Stefan. He broke my brothers neck... eh, it's okay I guess. He's got the Gilbert ring and I'd hate to rock the boat!

Writing my fiction/non-fiction memoir has not only helped me see my mistakes with Stefan, but it's also made me pretty darn aware of what a whipping that we've taken – not just me and Stefan, but everyone involved with me. Damon, Caroline, Jeremy, and my gosh, Bonnie! I've been a weight on everyone for so long... I can't believe anyone was happy in the least when I told them we were moving back to Virginia! You think they would have hung there head in defeat... if from nothing else than knowing what a pain in the ass always having to hold my hand is!

My mini-pep talk comes to a full halt when the sound of a car door shutting flinches me back into the present and my eyes focus on Stefan watching Meredith's cab pull away from the curb, then turn to me – Why? Why do I always react this way... I want him so badly. I should be trying to think of a way to explain my point of view and my feelings regarding the new me, Elena 2.0. Elena Salvatore. I even sneak a peek into the backseat of his SUV, trying to figure out if there is enough room with Allie's booster seat for us to fit comfortably. A bundle of yellow daisy's sits in the middle of the backseat, between Allie's seat and where Grayson's carrier would go, and I wonder if he's going to give me the flowers now that he's mad at me.

As the car drives away, there's nothing between us anymore – maybe fifty feet of street and sidewalk – and the space feels alive with electricity sparked by his anger. I can see it in this way he's standing, looking at me with those damn green eyes of his, his hands on his hips, pushing the fabric of his blazer back to reveal the indecent way his pants hang on his hips and I can only think of one thing…

How I wish his big hands were on my hips instead.

Doing that slight turn of his head thing, pushing out his chin a bit and popping his neck, Stefan gives a soundless exhale, then starts towards me – lips pressed together, brow low, eyes locked on me. I have to look down at my feet to keep myself still. Like so many times before, Angry Stefan is an aphrodisiac for me and I feel my skin tingle as he gets closer.

"Elena." The saying of my name in his rough, quiet voice sounds like the start of a lecture – a reprimand for standing up for myself and to be honest, it pisses me off so badly that I forget how badly I want to climb in the back seat and make up with my husband.

"Stefan." I say his name louder than he said mine, but not in a yell – when I look up from my silver flats to see his beautiful Roman face, shadowed from the street lamp above us, my mind nearly loses its hold over my body… his strength, the way that he's always seemed so dangerous. Even now, human, just the way he carries himself and the athletic build of his body – I know he'd never hurt me, but there is a certain kind of attraction to his dark side that I've never really admitted to. Stefan's got this way about him, like he's barely containing himself, dancing so perfectly on that invisible line between being a man of perfection and all the best kinds of bad. But he bites at his upper lip like he does when he's upset or angry, and I'm reminded that I'm through letting people like Meredith Fell walk all over me. Stefan Salvatore is _my_ husband until he's not and no one is going to take him from me again. Not a needy ER doctor, not some crazy spell, no hybrid Original, and damn sure not my crazy doppelganger ancestor. "Look, I get that your mad at me and that you're afraid that I may have just ruined you big plan with her to get the DNA test done early," I watch his teeth release his upper lip, his burning green eyes set on the small diamond pendant hanging from my necklace. "but it doesn't matter." Looking up to my face, he pulls his bottom lip in and bites down. "The test," I clarify because something about his expression doesn't fit, like he's confused or maybe not listening. "Stefan, I don't care about the DNA test or Katherine and the baby. I swear I don't so if Meredith isn't willing to help us then fine, we don't need her." I've been threatened, tormented, kidnapped, slapped, stabbed, chased, imprisoned, fed from, drained of blood, toyed with, mentally and emotionally tortured, watched Stefan die... TWICE, compelled, lied to, tricked, spelled and fooled.

No more.

"I need to go." He turns away from me, looking down the sidewalk and running his hand through his hair with a pained expression on his face. "I told Katherine I'd be by to get the kids."

"Katherine?" I'm sorry. What?

"Damon had to work, Elena." His frown grows deeper. "What was I supposed to do?"

"You could have told me." I say through a shrug and raised eyebrows.

I keep swaying back and forth between being Elena 2.0 and a severely under-sexed woman standing mere inches from the Greek God that is Stefan Salvatore. I say something about how we could have just had dinner at his apartment instead of letting _her_ keep our children, but I don't think it comes across as hard as I hoped it would because I can see beneath the unbuttoned collar of his shirt from this angle – I want to lick his collar bone.

With a sneering huff, Stefan says, "And tell Damon what?" After examining nearly everything on Main Street other than me, he finally faces me again – hands in his pockets, eyes dark and caustic. "And what happened to you not caring about her, Elena?"

I start to respond with something like 'I care that you left our babies with a psycho!' but Stefan continues, his voice a bit louder and lifting his hand, gesturing towards The Grill. "What was that in there? You tell me we're okay and you've got past what happened - it takes less than a minute and," The snapping of his fingers makes me jump a little, "just like that we're back to you questioning me."

Okay. Right. I forgot that I did that… "What do you mean?" I ask to buy myself some time to think of a better response.

"She has thicker hair?" Stefan shrugs, reminding my how ridiculous mention that was. "Bringing up what I said about Katherine…" He looks away. I hate it when he looks away. There is so much meaning in that tiny gesture. "…about being with her."

Honestly, I have no excuse that sounds at all understandable but my vocal chords bypass my brain filters and I start speaking without knowing what I'm going to say. "How can you be mad at me for being jealous of the way she says you are with her?" Less angry, more regretful, he presses his lips together and rubs his face with his hand. "Can you blame me, Stefan? Am I really at fault for wanting to be that person for you instead of her?"

There's a long silence before Stefan finally responds with, "You don't know what you're talking about, Elena. You know you can't believe anything she says…" but I can hear it in his voice – his delusive way of not denying it is weak.

Maybe it's Elena 2.0 or that I'm tired of him looking away from me, but I take a step to close the space between us and take his face in my hands – the soft, recently shaved skin warm against my palms. His eyes dart away, over my shoulder, for just a moment before our push/pull gravity wins over and his eyes meet mine at the same time that I feel his hands take hold of my hips.

"Am I wrong?" I see worry in his eyes, some kind of tormented uncertainty that I've seen before but could never really explain. Both curious about that untitled emotion that I see and determined that he finally admit that Katherine truly does own a part of him, I push on. "It's different with her because _you're_ different, right?" His silence is all the answer I need, but the tightening of his grip on my body and ramping up of our frequency corroborates my suspicions. I've thought these words a million times – probably more than that just since I found out about his night with Katherine – but I never, ever planned on saying it aloud, "I want you to be like that with me."

As my words register in his ears that worry, whatever that was that I'd seen in his eyes just seconds before is stolen away by a look that I know so well. I can only explain it as the look of a hunter… alert, dark, cold, hungry – if I wasn't completely sure that Stefan was no longer a vampire, I might say this is what he looks like when he feeds. The look of Stefan the Ripper.

What does it say about me that the second I recognize this look on his face, my inhale is shaky through my parted lips and my body shivers against his?

Almost magnetically, when his lips move towards mine with the tilt of his head, my face lifts to meet his mouth – I'm so thirsty for the taste of his tongue that I feel my mouth water with anticipation. So close to kissing me that I feel the air he breathes in sweep cool across my sensitive lips, he hesitates and I nearly give a begging whimper - I would if I weren't paralyzed by the tension between us, our gravity squeezing me so tightly that I can't move. "I'm afraid I'll hurt you." His whisper is deep, the sound vibrating against me and his lips graze the tip of my nose when they from the word 'you'.

What do I say to that… the truth? That I kind of want him to hurt me… maybe just a little? That maybe I'm not as innocent and sweet as he thinks I am? That maybe that's what I found attractive in Damon so long ago… how do I tell my husband that though our sex life has always been amazing – sensual and exciting and beautiful – maybe I want to see what the other side of it would be like? Maybe I want to know what it would be like to have Stefan Salvatore have his way with me in most lustful, merciless way!

"There they are," The sound of Robert's voice pushes us away from each other and pushes down the fire-hot pulsation vibing between Stefan and I. "by the street lamp."

-Stefan-

I'm driving too fast. With the windows down so the 40 degree air can sober me up and some electronic remix of a White Stripes song plays at nearly full volume. The heavy beat hits so hard that my skin feels numb by the time I turn into the long gravel road that leads up to The Salvatore House and I hardly notice the back end of my SUV fishtail to the left.

She can't know what she's done to me – with a small, otherwise insignificant sentence, _I want you to be like that with me._ – I'm burning. The pressure inside of me has multiplied to a nearly unbearable rate and I feel this hostile greed deep in my gut that feels so wrong, and yet so good at the same time. When she kissed me goodnight, just a small kiss on the corner of my mouth as Robert and Pepper were standing with us, it took all I had not to press her up against the car and release all of this compression… stepping out of the SUV, my legs ache, the muscles in my arms and chest are involuntarily flexed.

I swear, Elena has no idea how tightly wound around her finger I am.

Standing at the door, I nearly ring the bell as my mind is clouded with eager anticipation of what could have happened, but I take a deep breath instead and open the heavy wooden door as quietly as I can. There are a few toys in the foyer, a couple metal stock pots and sauce pans just inside the kitchen doorway, and I have to carefully step over the mess to make it to the living room where I'd set up Allie and Grayson for the night.

Right where I'd left her sleeping bag, I find Allie curled into a ball and hugging her Koala close to her chest. Her long hair is a mess of braids and curls from what appears to be a game of dress up and it's covering most of her face – soft exhales flitter a strand of her dark brown hair in a rhythmic motion. Allie looks so much like her mother, classically beautiful and feminine features, I can't stop the small smile that comes to my face as I watch her sleep for a moment and try not to think about what her life as a possible demi-god may hold. Klaus and I have been researching across the globe with the help of his contacts and though nothing fits completely, it's obvious that Allie is not just my little girl… The creaking of the hardwood behind me finally breaking my stare.

"I thought I heard you come in." Katherine's voice is soft and quiet and when I turn to face her, my smile broadens from the sight of her. She's holding Grayson who's asleep on her chest, but her hair is styled much the same as Allie's, but pushed away from her face to reveal one of Allie's signature make up jobs. "This guy is heavy." She smiles, gently rubbing his back with her open hand.

"Yea, sorry I'm late… we, uh, got held up." When I lie, I stammer. She knows that. Katherine is the ruling queen of deceit. I think she's going to call me out on it by the slight narrowing of her almost shaped eyes, but she just nods and continues to rub Grayson.

I work quickly, packing up everything I'd brought and picking up the pots and pans as I know how anal Damon can be about a clean house. There's a spilled cup of applesauce on the kitchen tile and I laugh to myself as I think of how different life is going to be for Damon when Katherine has the baby – _their_ baby. As a kid, Damon was a great big brother. He taught me to fish, how to clean a deer, helped me learn to play football and when needed, he was always there to protect me or help me get out of trouble. I don't know if I've said it to him, but I am confident that he's going to be an even better dad.

"Daddy," Allie's still asleep as I snap her into her carseat, "I'm sorry."

Confused, I ask, "What are you sorry for, Sweetie?"

As if it takes her sleeping brain a moment to respond, she frowns deeply – looking a lot like me when she does so – then finally says, "I'm sorry that I like Aunt Katherine."

I have to be more careful with my thoughts. And I have to tell Elena about what I know about our daughter. I didn't want Allie to know that I'm not particularly fond of her 'Aunt Katherine'… for this reason exactly. Allie likes everyone. She's six, she shouldn't have to pick a side or fight her parents battles.

I whisper a quiet, "it's okay, Allie. Go back to sleep." and kiss her forehead before closing the car door and going back in for Grayson.

"How'd everything go?" I ask for no other reason than to fill the awkward silence. By the looks of the place when I got here and Allie's change in opinion for Katherine, it must have went well.

"Allie took some time to warm up, but this little guy," Handing Grayson over to me, Katherine smiles at my sleeping son in a way that warms my heart – I don't know why. When I look back at her, for some reason I see her differently than before. I can see her being a mother. "I've always been a favorite of the Salvatore boys."

I laugh. I probably shouldn't because it's kind of crude given our history, but really, that's funny. "All but our father."

"Ah, old Giuseppe… he was a hard one to crack." She jokes, placing the tip of her index finger at the corner of her mouth as if she was pondering what she could have done different. Had Katherine not been a vampire, my father would have been groveling at her feet like the other two Salvatore boys in 1864.

"I know you had plans and I'm really sorry you got stuck with them, but I really appreciate you help." I try to make up for being rude earlier. Its obvious they had a good time together. "I didn't mean what I said about not wanting you to keep them."

Opening the door for me, Katherine just smiles softly – a very Elena-like smile. She's just barely showing, a small round bump pressing against the cotton of her tee-shirt, but I remember what she said about looking disgusting and for the life of me I can't shut myself up from saying as I move past her, "You look nice pregnant. It suits you."

Through a giggle she says, "Are you trying to pay me for watching them with compliments?"

Giving a shrug, I tease, "Is it working? I have a lot more of them than I have money."

"It's not the worst currency in the world." Katherine follows me out to the brick entry way, giving Grayson a quick kiss on his dark brown hair. "You'd better get out of here before one of them wakes up."

I nod. She's right. I need to go… and I start to take a step but something stops me. I feel obligated to correct her. Until I know if the baby is mine or not, and maybe not even that will change how I feel, I love the baby growing inside of Katherine. I feel an inheret need to take care of the baby's mother.

"Katherine." She's nearly inside, but stops and leans against the door, raising her eyebrows as if to say 'yes?' "You didn't look disgusting… earlier."

Another laugh – sweet and soft and carefree. The kind of laugh that makes me want to laugh too. "Um, yea I do." She smooths the fabric of her shirt over her tummy, twirls a strand of wild hair around her finger. Her perfect skin is slightly illuminated by the moonlight and I can still see the sight of her holding Grayson…

Even though it's not a lie, I regret it before it gets fully out of my mouth, "No. You've never been more beautiful."

***MORE TO COME***

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	26. Chapter 26

CH26 – THE REAPING

-Bonnie-

Jeremy had been asleep for a few hours while I lay perfectly still beside him and played Words With Friends and text-chated with Damon. It was just near that time of the night where it's obviously too late to get a good amount of sleep before Liam or Lola wake up, but still in the midway point where I know that I'll be tired, but functional, in the morning if I were to put my phone away and get some sleep.

And that's what I've done. I'm curled into a warm ball with the covers up to my chin as my mind replays my three-plus hour talk with Damon and a smile plays at my lips when, no more than sixty seconds after sitting my phone face down on the bedside table, what I know to be an alert of a text from Damon is lighting up the screen and giving a soft, white-blue glow – almost instantly, I have the urge to reach for it.

The few reasons why I shouldn't are easily outnumbered by the fifty why I should – Things like:  
- Ignoring him could put a ripple in our still sort of fresh friendship. Really, in the grand total, we've been on good terms for much less than when we were enemies.  
- It would be rude to ignore him, Damon, my friend, and I am anything but rude...  
- It's already so late, what can a few more messages hurt  
- I'm doing a good deed by helping to keep him awake.  
I ignore the little discredit that chimes in the back of my head, trying to remind me that Damon is no longer working. Earlier, he mentioned _her _being in a pretty terrible mood, telling me that he is at home.

My brain creates vivid images in my minds eye - where he's probably in bed after working for twelve hours straight. Surely he's tired and I should let him sleep. I bet Damon is cute when he's sleepy…maybe he's shirtless. In his underwear… briefs. His hair is probably a wet mess from the shower he's just had. Maybe his skin is even a bit damp, warm to the touch. I bet his bright blue eyes are looking at his phone, waiting for my reply to his text - His soft lashes and eyelids heavy, but eager to continue our chat. Maybe he even has that crooked smile that he gets – the one I used to find smug but now I can't even picture his face with that cocky grin without wanting to smile too.

"Bon?" Funny how a tiny whisper becomes the loudest, most shocking sound ever when your _very_-married brain is in the midst of imagining a basically married man, half-naked.

I give an involuntary, too loud, gasp as Elena's whisper cuts me out of a web of Damon thoughts and my body jumps into action. I sit up so quickly, clutching the comforter to my body, that Elena jumps away from the side of the bed and Jeremy is on his feet in a split second.

"What?!" Jeremy asks loudly, short of breath, startled, and my darkness-adjusted eyes squint from the sudden flood of light as he switches on the lamp. "Katherine?"

I can barely see her at all, but I can still tell that it's Elena and not Katherine – "What?" I frown, glaring at him. "It's Elena! Why would you think Katherine would be in our bedroom?"

Jeremy just shakes his head and gives a sharp release of breath through his nostrils before rubbing his face harshly with both hands.

"I'm sorry!" Elena cringes – embarrassed that she's scared everyone, but still half-laughing at our reaction. "I didn't mean to wake everyone."

"What are you doing, Elena? It's the middle of the night?" Jeremy interrogates, quickly pulling on a tee shirt to cover himself in front of his sister.

"I need to go out for a bit…" Elena slips her hands into her pockets, shrugging her shoulders, "… I'll try to be back by morning, but, um… I can't sleep, and thought, I would, uh, go for a drive."

I've known this girl for years – since we were just babies – she may think she's fooling us, and who knows, Jeremy may be clueless, but from the hands in her pockets to the wide smile on her face and the hint of excitement in her voice, she can skip around the truth all she wants – but best friends just know.

The Stefan and Elena make-up has officially began.

Jeremy and I are awkwardly silent after agreeing to watch Allie and Grayson if she isn't back by morning. We don't even move until we hear the sound of Elena's SUV starting up and see the headlights sweep across the room when she backs out of the drive way. Still quiet, Jeremy tosses his shirt on to the floor as he rounds the bed and goes into the bathroom – I can hear him peeing because he leaves the door open even though I've asked him countless times to just push it shut!

I'm really sleepy and really annoyed with myself for letting my brain drift off into Damon land, so I'm aware that I'm more than likely just in a bad mood when my temper tells me to give him yet another reminder about the door – maybe this time a little less nonchalant about it. Instead, I roll my eyes and give a silent huff when I hear him spit (yes, spit!) into the sink before turning on the faucet.

_Just let it go, Bon._ I tell myself as I slip back into the covers, turning away from the bathroom door and towards Jeremy's side of the bed.

… Odd.

Jeremy's phone cord is beneath his pillow. _Why would he have his phone charging under his pillow?_

Just as my arm begins to move towards it, my hand suddenly feeling detached from my body and my lungs tight with some kind of premonition and fear, I feel Jeremy's fingers move across the bare skin of back, just above the fabric of my tank-top. Any other time, I'd relish in his touch. I love Jeremy… he's the only man I've ever loved! But right now, with his cell phone under his pillow and that stomach-gurgling feeling coming back, just like when I'd interrupted his shower looking for his cell phone and got that weird reaction from him… right now, I can't stop myself from recoiling away from his touch.

We may not have that weird 'connection' thing that Elena once told me she thinks she has with Stefan, but we've been together for like a decade now… without even looking at Jeremy I can tell he's weirded out by my reaction.

"Sorry Jer, I'm just, uh," I curl into an even tighter ball, hugging my knees to my chest when he comes around to his side of our bed and lays down next to me, his head on the pillow that is covering (or maybe hiding?) his phone. "I don't know… Elena really startled me, I guess."

He hesitates for a long moment with a pursed brow and lips in a slight frown before turning on his side to face me – I force myself not to move away from his hand when he rubs my arm lovingly. "It's been a long time since we've had to be scared that someone is trying to kill us, but I gotta say, when I woke up to you gasping and saw what I thought was Katherine standing there, I was pretty freaked out too."

I look at my husband for a long moment and pray that he doesn't see the way my head is spinning with hundreds of questions and the flood of possible spells I could use to find out of my bottom-of-my-gut suspicions might be right. Jeremy and I have been friends – good friends! - with Katherine and Damon for more than two years. Even with what she's done to Stefan and Elena, I honestly do not fear her at all. Not physically atleast... being a human took away her strength and speed, but not her evil ways. Still, for the life of me, I cannot figure out any reason why my 6'2 beefy husband would be _frightened _by the sight of tiny little Katherine in our bedroom.

While my mind runs away with itself, Jeremy's face relaxes and his heavy hand slowly slips down my arm, resting on the mattress – right against my stomach. Again, I shrink away... turning away from Jeremy with my now wide awake eyes and wide awake mind and fully constricted tummy. I don't know how long I lay there – stiff as a board – doing all I can do to discredit my fears about Jeremy. I think of Anna. I think of Vicki. I think of the late hours Jeremy has been working and I think of how strange he has been acting lately. I could spell it out of him. The same one I used on Damon while visiting Elena and Stefan, and the same one that basically violated Stefan, an innocent man...  
I begin to feel a little hopeless, scared and unsure of what to do about these suspicions, but then my cell lights up again and this time, I don't hesitate.

It's Damon. My friend. I can talk to him about this, he'll listen...

_Damon: Hang on. Kat's pissed off. _– Reads his first message from more than half an hour ago.  
_Damon: I'm back. She's stormed off and I'm too tired to chase after her. It's your turn to do a word, B._

I should say something about how I am sorry they're fighting or make a joke about it, but I'm lost in my problems.

_Bonnie: I need your help... how do you feel about tailing Jeremy?_

-Stefan-

To: Stefan Salvatore  
From: K. Mikaelson  
Date: April 13th, 22:51  
Subject: (no subject)

Hello, my friend,  
Hope all is well. Thank you again for taking care of my Caroline and Mataeus while I'm away. I must say, you're quite good at lying, Stefan... you are getting better with practice – and age. While our belongings wait for me in storage, I've been quite successful in locating information regarding your little one. Needless to say, the chance of my young son being adorned with such gifts has crossed my mind, so don't thank me too much. It's not as selfless at it seems. Besides, I did very little of the footwork – it's good to be the Alpha, Stefan.

I've attached some of the most relevant records found at the Vatican, of which I've had translated from the original Slavic text for your less cultured eyes. As you'll see, it appears as though Allie does not fit into any single category of supernatural being or demigod, but may possibly be a fusion of many - thus of solitary existence.

Read over what I've attached and I'll bring back the rest of what I've uncovered. I've set Caroline up with the expectation that I'll be back in your horrid little town by the end of the week. Do continue to maintain our original story. Though I'm finished with what I can here in Rome, I have a few errands of my own side project to complete before returning.

Additionally, I suggest that you contact your little witch. Repressing Alexia's gifts is the worst thing you can do and she'll need someone around who can show her the ropes, if you will. Sure, you're first thought is Bonnie. But honestly Stefan, she's a wrecking machine of a witch compared to your little Italian spellbinder.

Consider it.

Afterall, my error rate when forming plans, diabolical or no, is quite a bit lower than yours, my friend.

I'll be in touch,  
K

If there is one thing about Klaus that has not changed, it's his ego. I read his email twice in order to truly absorb his pompous vernacular before double-clicking the first of five attachments. Either my connection was slow or the size of the file is quite large, because the progress bar moved so slowly that I stared at it for a long moment before realizing that my laptop hadn't frozen all together. The slightest increase told me that it would be a long while before it loaded and I decided to shower in the mean time.

Intrigued to see what Klaus had found – both excited and fearful – I don't linger long. Quickly washing my hair and face, running a handful of soapy bodywash over myself, skipping a shave. Other than dinner with Elena, Robert, and Pepper, and the quick stop off route after picking up the kids, I've done very little today and don't plan on doing anything worth a hairless face tomorrow. Elena will be by early to pick up Allie and Grayson, and I should probably get with Robert before they head out of town, as well as check in on Caroline – her text from earlier in the night said that her mother was hardly around and I could tell that Caroline was feeling somewhat ignored by her. Possibly even getting a bit of cabin fever.

Maybe I'll take her out to lunch. I look at my own eyes in the steamed mirror and feel a sarcastic laugh stick in my throat – Allie is asleep on my bed and I'm being as silent as one can be without the light-foot ways of a vampire.  
To be safe, I'd better make lunch a group thing.

There is a hair-thin line between Elena and Caroline that I've not had to dance on just yet. It's never been this way really – Elena and I in the same place as Caroline... not since they were in high school. Since, it's always been me and Elena, or me and Caroline. Never the three of us trying to sort out a workable relationship for an extended period of time. Truth be told, that microscopic line is one of the many reasons that I have never been a proponent of Elena and I moving our family back here.

Where Elena sees history and memories, I see possible problems. Elena pictures things differently than I do – just like with the reunion in Thailand.

Elena can honestly see the whole of us finding a way to be happy and together and forming a family unit made up of us misfits and orphans, while I hop from one landmine to another and do my very best to not trip on the wire between my wife and my best friend, my best friend and her husband, her husband and my brother, my brother and my brother-in-law, my brother-in-law and my ex-girlfriend, and of course, the atom bomb that is Elena vs. Katherine. Throw in my supernatural daughter, the child growing in Katherine's womb, and my vast and dark history in Mystic Falls, and I hope you can see why I've never been particularly fond of the idea of us coming back here.

Settling here. Making our lives here.

I know what you're thinking – _then why buy the old Gilbert house? _

Elena and our children are my only reason for any and everything that I do. Making that house her home is not only what she wanted, but I need to know that whatever happens after this DNA test, Elena will be safe. Anymore, the only thing that is lingering in the dark to hurt her is... well, me. What I've done. When the test results come back, given the 50/50 chance that I am the father and the 100% certainty that I have regarding Elena's reaction should it be confirmed the baby is mine, atleast I'll know that I gave her the home and the life that she wanted. I'll know that she'll have Bonnie and Jeremy around, that Allie and Grayson will be surrounded by people that love them and they'll grow up in this wholesome little town and live the same kind of childhood that Elena and Jeremy did. That I did, nearly two centuries ago.

I don't know how long I stand there, looking at nothing and looking directly into my own eyes at the same time, talking to myself in silence, but I shiver from the cool air against my body – pulling me back into a more cognizant state of mind just in time to hear the clinking of glass coming from the kitchen.

It's a natural reaction to move quickly and quietly past Allie – asleep and wrapped up snugly in her blanket on top of my bed – and into the short hallway that leads to the living and kitchen area. With my back just grazing the sheetrock wall behind me and one hand fisted at my side and the other holding the towel around my waste, I lean away from the door frame to peek into the kitchen and nearly curse outloud when I see her looking directly at me with that knowing smile on her face – all cherry red lips and snow white teeth and black-lined black eyes.

"Mmm, Stefan," Katherine purrs my name like she does, leaning over to the side to see me better and unabashedly looking over my body. "Single life looks great on you."

"What are you..." I'm undressed. It's well past midnight. Katherine is in my apartment. Atom bomb. Atom bomb. Without finishing my question, I leave her in the kitchen and go back to my bedroom – pulling on a white, sleeveless, undershirt, and because they were laying conveniently on the arm chair next to my bed with the belt still laced through the loops, the slacks I wore to dinner.

When I see her again, Katherine is sitting on the counter top next to the sink – bare legs crossed, loose curls hanging haphazardly down her shoulders, and a glass of red wine in her hand. From the short summer dress and full face of makeup, to the flagrant sound of her voice, I know that the normal, possibly even sweet, woman who kept Allie and Grayson has been replaced by this conceited and arrogant narcissist - typical Katherine. Other than a quick glance to see where she is and what she's doing, I don't look at her. Atom bomb. Instead, I head directly to the door and unlock it. Either she climbed in through a window or she somehow bypassed the deadbolt and chain on the door and actually locked them back once inside – brazen.

"You need to go." I deadpan. She doesn't move. Not even a centimeter. Maybe her pupils get smaller – focusing in on my eyes. "Now."

Staring at me a moment longer, she gives up on the glare-down and tosses her curls back with an exasperated sigh, sitting the full wine glass at her side before clasping her hands together in her lap. "Or...?" She challenges with a flirtatious raise of her eyebrows.

I could leave her here. Except Allie and Grayson are with me tonight and _this_ Katherine cannot be trusted to keep a turtle out of trouble, much less two children. I could forcefully remove her – Atom bomb. Too many memories of too many vivid dreams and a much too close encounter with Elena from earlier in the night have got me wound tightly – the last thing I need is to have to touch such a close resemblance of my wife, especially when said resemblance has that look on her face. Mischievous. Playful. Dangerous.

I cant think of a suitable response and change the subject instead.

"Wine, Katherine?" I frown my best disparaging frown. "You're pregnant."

With a roll of her eyes she dismisses my chastising, nodding towards the full glass. "Not for me, Stefan." I stare at her for a moment, confused and wondering if there is someone else in my apartment. "I poured it for you." I nearly tell her I don't want it. To leave. To not come back. But she continues, "I need someone to talk to, I guess, and really..." I swear, that facade of hers cracks a little, for a slight second, she's real. "you're my only friend in this entire world."

"I'm not your friend." It has to be said. I've never been keen on hurting anyone, but Katherine has destroyed my life before and may very well have done it again... call it what you will, cruel, mean, whatever – Katherine and I may understand each other, but we are by no means on good terms.

Friends? No.

Funny, she doesn't argue. She knows it's true.

Instead, she shrugs it off – unharmed by my blatant honesty. "I can trust you. That's all that matters." When she looks into my eyes again, I close the door. I understand Katherine when she's being real and there is a sadness in her eyes that I see in my own. Maybe I'm secretly hoping she'll confess the real identity of the father of her child. Or maybe I am more sympathetic to her than I should be. "I think Damon is cheating on me..." She looks down, pausing before finishing to swallow or breathe or simply for dramatic punctuation – I don't know – but I've completed her sentence in my head before she says, "... with Bonnie."

My intuition speaks before I can hold it in, "No, Damon's a lot of things, but he'd never cheat."

Katherine and I contemplate that for a long moment – it's true. Damon can be the worst of the worst, but when it comes to loyalty to the woman he loves, he'd end things before sneaking around. It's just not him.

"Maybe..." Katherine moves to her feet, taking the wine glass in her hand and then walking to me – arm extended, "but if not physically, there is _something_ going on between them."

I take the wine for no other reason than to eliminate her excuse for staying this close and to buy some time for me think of a more sensitive response than pointing out that she slept with Jeremy. I gulp it down, bitter and tart after brushing my teeth – she watches my face grimace from the taste as she sits back into the off white couch that came with the apartment.

When I open my mouth, I grimace again when I hear myself say, "You slept with Jeremy. You might be having his child... hard to feel sorry for you on this one, Katherine." So much for a more delicate response.

"Ugh." Katherine groans, absentmindedly rubbing the small bump that is now her stomach. "The thing with Jeremy was nothing more than mechanics. There were no feelings involved with him... and now it's ju-"

"Now?" I ask, loudly – shocked. Really taken aback to hear what I think I'm hearing. "You mean to tell me this 'mechanics' thing with Jeremy is still going on and you're somehow offended that Damon may or may not be involved with Bonnie in some way?" With wide eyes and pursed lips, Katherine nods a 'yes' and I can't help but laugh at the audacity of this woman. "You're unbelievable..." I half chuckle, leaning against the door.

"I did what I had to do to get Damon and I a child of our own..." Katherine's voice is light, as if she's discussing the purchase of a new car or maybe lunch, not her single-handed demise of not only my marriage, but maybe Jeremy and Bonnie's too. "Now, I've got to play it out and let it end naturally in order to keep Jeremy from ratting me out to Damon." The look on my face must tell her how sickened I am to hear that Katherine and Jeremy are still sleeping together while my brother is in the dark about the entire mess. "Don't worry, Stef... it's on the downhill slide, but it's a delicate situation."

"It's got to stop, Katherine." She's never listened to anything anyone has ever ordered her to, but I use my most confident tone as if she might actually take me seriously.

Giving a soft shake of her head and that pretentious smile that she has – like my warning is nothing more serious than a puppy and his attempt at a ferocious bark – Katherine chuckles and stands, a silent laugh on her face when she moves to examine the book shelf across from the couch. "Oh come on, Stefan, you know how those Gilbert's can be much too sensitive." I look down at my feet when she bends at the waist to view a low shelf. After a long moment, her little giggle at my looking away and the sound of Pete Yorn draw my eyes up. She turns it down to a quiet, background level, then extends her hand to me – her fingers motioning for me to come to her.

"Dance with me." So teasingly sweet is her whispered voice that I can literally taste her words. Only, it sickens me. It makes my stomach churn that she's here, that she's trying this with me, that she somehow believes I might actually want this. It sickens me in the way one might get nauseated by too much perfume or a mouthful of syrup. Sweetness turns to repulsion when it's overdone.

I feel my brow wrinkle and lower, "Katherine."

She shrugs and stops the slow sway of her hips to the upbeat song, letting her hands rest on her waist, "Fine, Stefan… I'm just trying to have a little fun, you know. We could both use it, don't you think?"

"I'm tired, Katherine… I could use a good night's rest." I gesture for her to leave, but she kicks back on the couch again, this time leaning into the arm in order to face me, still at the door.

Mockingly scrunching up her nose and snarling her red lips – a look I find terribly cute on Elena yet incredibly off-putting when on Katherine's face – she asks, "Oh no, did the make it all better dinner with Elena not go as well as you'd hoped?" I don't answer because to tell you the truth, I'm not sure how the dinner went or where Elena and I stand. In my hesitation, Katherine dramatically looks around the dimly lit room and then covers her smiling mouth with both hands, "I guess I should have picked that up, seeing as how you are here and Elena… is, well… not!"

"We're working on it, Katherine." I hate that I feel the need to explain myself, my situation with Elena, but I do. "What we did… it's alot to ask anyone to forgive."

"Hmm…" Turning to her side, resting her head on her hand, Katherine stretches her body out for me to look over. I wonder if she notices the general disinterest I have for her, _because I do_. I can't tell you how good it feels to not feel anything about her laying out on my couch this way – with lyrics of love and heartache and desire floating between us – I honestly feel absolutely nothing. I'm smiling (on the inside) with pride when Katherine purrs, "so now it's 'what we did'… I like that, Stefan. 'We'."

"Come on," I turn and unlock the door, pulling it open before looking back at her. "It's late and I'm tired."We stare at each other for a long moment – I guess I'm more committed to my 'time to go' than she is her flirting because she sits up and starts towards the door with a near-stomping gate.

When she stops in the threshold, I consider closing the door to push her into the hall… after she speaks, I wish I would have done just that. "You know, she's never going to love you like she used to." A knot in my stomach tightens to such a painful degree that I almost wince – even whispered, the truth _actually_ hurts, doesn't it? "And maybe it's crazy of me to even consider, but we could leave… together…" And there's that sadness in her eyes again, that authentic bit of the girl that should have been able to keep the child she gave birth to five hundred years ago. The girl that used to believe in love and fate and happily ever after like every other little girl does before the scars of growing up jade them into being adults. "You and me, and our baby, Stefan… aren't you tired of being alone?"

I mean to ask a full sentence – _And what about Damon? How can you even consider doing this to him?_ – but it comes from my lips in a strained, "…and Damon?"

Leaning back, resting against the door frame, she appears to be somewhat morose. Sad, even. The thing is, I never know if Katherine is acting this way or that because it's part of the role she is playing at the moment or if maybe, possibly, she's not putting on. "Damon thinks I'm _carrying his child_ and he's falling _out_ of love with me and _in_ love with Bonnie Bennett… what do you think'll happen when… when you tell him the truth?"

I don't answer. Instead I look away, focusing on the blue-green LED '2:12am' on the microwave and imagining the rage of destruction even a human Damon can deliver when he's set off. We're both quiet, thinking probably the same thing, and she's isn't really looking for a response – we both know the answer to that question. When she reaches out to touch my hand on the door knob, I pull it away before contact and look at her face again – I swear I see a hint of fear in those cold, black eyes, "You _are_ going to tell him, _aren't you_?"

The knot in my stomach somehow tightens even more as I nod 'yes'.

Katherine's eyes move up and down my face a few times, quickly looking into my right eye, then my left and back again. "I don't believe you," She mocks confidence so well, but somehow, tonight – with this specific topic – I can see straight through her. "I mean, why wouldn't you have already confessed if you were really going to do it at all?"

Good question - I begin to speak before my mind conceives an answer. "I have to know what I'm confessing to, Katherine." Her eyes squint just the slightest and I wonder if that's a sign of her taking me at my word. "I can't just walk up to him and bring him into this mess of 'what if's and 'might's and 'could be's. After... when I know if what you claim is true, that's when I'll tell him."

A quick smirk and a hard swallow is followed by what I assume is supposed to be a threat, "He's going to kill you, Stefan."

I nod.

"I know…", but what can I do? I'll take what's coming to me, whatever that might be.

"Then let's runaway, Stefan." I don't see it coming in order to move – her hands fisting in the fabric of my shirt, just at my ribs, and stepping close. "What you had with Elena, it's ruined. Same with me and Damon!" Katherine's voice isn't quite as cool and collected – more panicky, peering up at me with those large round eyes, almost too big for her slender face. "And Allie and Grayson, they're going to know what you did and they won't want anything to do with you anymore… come away with me. I can make you happy, Stefan – I did once, remember? Remember when I was all you wanted?" I put my hands over hers and that sickening feeling is getting worse and worse with the ever-tightening knot in my gut, "We can leave tomorrow and make a life somewhere else – start all over. We can be anyone we want! We don't have to be alone, Stefan."

Her manic smile is unnatural – creepy even – and it only gets worse when I close my fingers over her little fists and remove her hands from my body, pushing her back to get some distance between us.

"Stop." I say through my teeth, getting tired of this game she thinks we're playing – my life, it's always been some kind of a pastime for her amusement!

Her hands slip from mine and take hold of my face. It takes all the control I have to not shove her away from me, into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. "Come with me, Stefan… I'm all you have left."

"Katherine." I say her name with a heavy exhale, take a beat to remind myself that she's not a vampire and I'm much stronger than her now. Taking hold of her dainty wrists and removing her clammy hands from my face. "You might be right. I've probably lost everything," Still holding her wrists, I step forward and force her step back into the hall – releasing my grip once she's completely out of my apartment and my body is blocking the entrance. "But I'm not afraid to be alone. I don't care to surround myself with people to fend off loneliness." She huffs, rolling her eyes. "The only thing I'm scared of is having to live even a single day without Elena, without our children, so please, stop all of this flirting and touching – because it means nothing to me, nothing at all. I don't love you, Katherine. I've never loved you."

"Never?" Katherine's voice is brimming with accusation; one word said in such a way that she speaks an entire message – replays months of memories that we share from 1864.

I've denied it – since the day I woke up next to Damon on the banks of Wickery River, I've denied ever believing I loved Katherine Pierce. I'm tired of lying, and truth be told, it doesn't matter now. "You're right, Katherine." There's a spark in her eyes, some kind of ardent pride or satisfaction flaming in her dark orbs. "Back then, before I knew you... even after I turned and believed you'd been burned alive, for years and years, I _thought_ I loved you." The boastful look on her face fades, "I hid it with hate, I denied it to anyone who asked because I was ashamed to have failed at saving you, because I was humiliated to have been just another betrayal for the infamous Katherine Pierce." Attempting that faux-confidence once again, Katherine shakes her curls from her shoulders as she stands tall and presses her lips tightly, but there are sparkling tears in her eyes that she cannot hide. "I _thought_ I loved you, Katherine... I _thought_ you were everything I wanted... but then I died. And I woke up a vampire and lived this curse that you gave to me for _a hundred and fifty years!" _I'm straining to keep from raising my voice, my hands open in front of me. "For a hundred and fifty years I both hated and loved you in equal measure for what you'd done to me and to Damon. _For turning me into a monster_!" I stop, inhale deeply through my nose with my eyes closed and I picture her face and her beautiful smile and the way she warms me through and through – Elena, my wife, my everything. "But then, I met Elena. I met her and fell in love with her and I knew – _I knew it then – _that I'd never loved you... and I stopped hating you." Katherine smirks, swallowing hard and casually wiping her teary eyes. "How could I hate you? What I thought was a curse, a never ending plague, it was really a gift. You gave me the immortality that led to her," I smile. With thoughts of Elena running through my blood, I can't stop the smile no matter how insensitive it might be in this moment. "And Elena, she gave me life."

-Elena-

My first thought – yea, it's jealousy. And anger.

It's after two am! What is Katherine doing here!? Dressed like that!

There is something about the way she walks, the speed of her steps – I think I recognized the pace of her high-heeled boots clacking down the stairs as I made my way up, but it's so late and out of place that I didn't realize I recognized it. But her voice – much like mine, but with a deeper tone and slower roll of her tongue – the instant I heard it, I knew it was her before I even looked up.

"Don't worry, Elena, he's all yours."

I was smiling – excited to share my writing with Stefan, to talk to him about our future and, I don't know, I just wanted to be with him – when I caught her in my gaze, coming around the corner. Looking up at her like this, her round stomach is all I can focus on for a long moment, delaying my response.

"Oh, what do you have there?" She flicks her fingernail down the stack of paper – probably more than a ream, "Is that your list of things you want from Stefan? Ways he should change? Must-have's and to-do's in order to get a second chance?" A small pause and a dramatic look up as she pretends to be thinking, "or is this a third chance for Steffy? Forth, maybe?"

Finally able to tear my eyes from her stomach, the redness in her usually perfectly white eyes keeps me from matching her tone. I move past her, shrugging a "It's none of your business, Katherine."

"Isn't it?" Katherine cocks her hip out the side, leaning against the handrail and looking up at me as she gently grazes the round bump – her baby. "I mean, he _is_ the father of my child. Yet another thing we share, Elena."

I stop.

I wish I could keep going, ignore what she said, leave her standing in the stairwell believing that she doesn't get to me anymore... but the truth is, every time I hear her say that – that Stefan is the father – my bones nearly crumble into dust. Of all the people in the entire world that I don't want to lose – that I don't want to share – it's Stefan.

I hear her giggle a little at my reaction, the way I freeze in place and have to take a heavy inhale in order to move at all. "We can have playdates." She teases, starting down the stairs.

Again, she's beat me. She's won. How many times have Katherine and I come up against one another only to find myself defeated by this woman. What happened to Elena 2.0 – Elena Freakin' Salvatore?!

"Hey!" It's an honest to God shout – loud and bouncing off the cinder block walls of the stairwell.

Surprised, Katherine turns up to look at me in a quicker than usual movement – eyes wide and brow raised as if to say, 'what?'

"You're absolutely right, Katherine. No matter how much I would love to get rid of you, it looks like you're going to be in our lives for the long run whether the baby is Stefan's or Damon's." Katherine smiles her smile – like a snake with a stomach full of prey. "So, I say we make the best of it."

She chuckles out, "And how do you suggest we do that?"

Everything in me is telling me not to do this. Maybe take my shoe off and throw it at her face! Anything but this! Don't do it! But I know that my animosity towards Katherine will only make Stefan's already complicated life even more difficult, so I swallow the nasty words I want to call her and smile instead of spitting on her and say, "I'd like to throw you a baby shower."

Maybe it's the overwhelming and complete surprise of my offer that paralyzes Katherine, or maybe it's the huge smile on my face, but I tell a silent Katherine goodnight and turn away – taking the last set of stairs two at a time, burning with the joy of being a good person and taking the high road... something I forgot felt so great!

-Stefan-

"Gia, hey, it's me, Stefan," I can't tell you how much I hate bringing Gia into yet another situation... I mean, she's just a girl. Barely eighteen! And how many times have I had to call upon her? Use our friendship as a bargaining pawn? When the call went to voice mail, I was honestly relieved that I wouldn't have to speak to her directly. "I've forwarded you an email from, uh, well, from Klaus Mikaelson." By nature, witches hate vampires – a hybrid Original, well that's a whole other problem. "There are some attachments that I'd like you to take a look at. Just see if anything makes sense to you or, raises a red flag at all. I hate asking you for your help, you've done so much for my family as it is, but it's about Allie and, I don't have anyone else to turn to." It hits me that I used that same line when convincing her sister to help me trap Klaus many years ago – I want to throw up at the image of Lindsey's body – naked and drained of blood, blood on my hands. "Anyway, I'm sorry to drag you into this and if you don't want anything to do with it, I understand. Completely. Just give me a call when you can." A knock at the door catches my attention and I pause a moment before adding, "Hope you're classes are going well, let me know if you need anything... at all."

Knowing Katherine is on the other side of the door turned my normal tone into a gritty voice and I hope it didn't make me sound insincere with my offer. Elena and I have been taking care of Gia's needs for a few years – since Lindsey died. I'd hate it if Gia believed that our love for her was somehow connected to the help that she always seems to be position of offering. Just the thought that Katherine's return might have caused such doubt in a girl as sweet and caring as Gia pisses me off and I pull the door open quickly, angry with her.

But inplace of cold-black eyes are clear, chocolate brown, endless eyes.

Instead of a cherry red mouth is the sweetest set of lips, shining from the mocha-rasberry lipgloss that I've always loved tasting on my tongue.

It's instantanious. The way my body lets go of the anger I had ready for Katherine and is overpowered by the pure joy of being this close to Elena – smiling that shy smile, looking up at me through her soft lashes – our gravity simmering in my blood.

"Hey." I sigh through the smile that comes to my face.

"Hey." Elena returns.

I stand there too long, just looking at her – taking her in and absorbing the way it feels to love her. When she looks away from my gaze, holding back a smile because she knows the affect she has on me, I fear I might actually be blushing when I step back and open the door for her. Laughing a, "Come in. Sorry."

Taking a moment to look around, I continue to look at her – down to end of her hair, I love her. As her eyes move across the apartment, my eyes move across her and I'm stuck between the strong desire to wrap myself around her and the more appropriate option of not sucking that light coat of gloss right off of her lips.

"Wine _and_ music," Elena teases, gesturing to the empty glass of wine on the counter. "Katherine goes right for the goal, doesn't she?"

Damn it. I feel guilty for not telling her – and even though Elena seems light-hearted about it, I try to explain. "Nothing happened, she came over to ta-"

She doesn't interrupt me with words, but the sweet way she looks at me and the spark of her hand taking mine, it cuts me off mid-sentence.

"Stefan."I look down at her hand holding mine – so small to be so powerful. "I know. It's okay. I trust you."

That want to wrap around her, merge my body into hers, it's hard to resist when I hear nothing but honesty in her words and feel love in her touch. I look into her eyes – clear and endless – and at her lips intermittently for a long moment.

Releasing my hand, much to my disappointment, Elena moves further into my apartment, sitting the large stack of paper she was carrying next to my open, but dormant laptop, then sits against the edge of one of the barstools. "Did Grayson give you trouble about going to sleep?"

I shake my head no and, for no other reason to be closer to her, to feel our frequency better, I follow her into the kitchen and lean against the counter top across from her – crossing my arms over my chest to keep them from pulling her against me. No matter what I want, I know that I've got to let Elena direct where this goes.

"Is that your 'fictional, non-fiction, semi-biographical, slash-self help thing'?" Quoting her from dinner and feeling like a champion gladiator when Elena laughs and nods yes.

I don't realize I'm doing it – shaking my head in disbelief at how much I love to hear the sound of her laughter – and when she asks me "What?", it takes a moment for me to understand what she's inquiring about.

"Your laugh." I shrug with a smile, basking in every thing about her.

My response turns her laugh into a giggle when she asks, "My laugh?", with a playful scrunching of her nose and her long, chestnut hair falling to one side of her face, framing it in darkness while the other half glows from the chandelier light above us. I just nod 'yes', taking hold of my elbows for extra security in keeping my arms from her. "What's wrong with my laugh?"

The thing about Elena – that always been about Elena – is that I can't stop myself from being brutally honest with her about everything. From the way I feel about her to my darkest regrets, when she asks I tell and I spill everything out for her to examine. It some cases, that honesty has been a hindrance. But mostly, it's paid off in spades.

"Nothing, Elena." I run my hand through my hair instead of grazing it down the length of hers, "Your laugh is like poetry."

The laughing stops, but her smile grows wide on her flushed face and the way she continues to look in my eyes even as she blushes, it burns in me – deep down in my torso.

"How do you do that, Stefan?" As she stands, stepping infront of me, I feel my brow lower, tension rising in my shoulders and neck as I fear that she thinks I've just delivered her some meaningless line. With me leaning back and her standing tall, Elena and I looking directly into one anothers eyes, she says in a barely there whisper, "How do you make me feel like this?"

At the touch of her fingers against my upper arms, I close my eyes and inhale the scent of her shampoo and the warmth of her body. I feel her lips press against my shoulder and her hair graze against my forearms – tickling my skin and sending fire through my veins. Moving to the other shoulder, I feel her mouth form the words against my chest, "You remember every word I say." When she kisses me again, on the opposite shoulder, I feel her teeth against my skin, gently sucked in between her lips and I don't know how much longer I can hold back. My fingers are tingling to pressing into the flesh of her hips, my tongue thirsty for her taste. "I love the way you love me" Elena grazes the words against the curve of my neck, kissing my jawbone – our gravity turning my face, pulling my mouth to hers.

She tastes pure and sweet – clean, like mint and springtime. Its just a small kiss, my lips enveloping her full bottom lip, gently pulling it into my mouth, but it's enough to steal the breath from my lungs, to cause her chin to quiver.

"I love you, Stefan." In an effort to stop the sparking nerves of my bottom lip, I'm pressing my teeth into it, relishing in the warmth of her hands holding my face. "No matter what happens. Whether you forgive me for being so cruel, the results of the DNA test... whatever may come at us, Stefan. I need you to know that I love you." Giving in to the ache to touch her, I let my hands loose and they find their favorite spot on her body – one hidden in her hair, fingers around the back of her neck and thumb grazing her cheek, the other resting low on her waist, her heartbeat palpable on all ten of my fingertips. She kisses me again – half on my upper lip, half on my teeth – then says my name in a way that pulls my gaze up, right into her endless brown eyes that have haunted me in the most wondrous way for a decade now. "I'll never stop loving you and I'll never stop wanting to be with you. It's you and me, Stefan. Always?"

I smile. Recognizing those words from so many years before – she'd learned the worst about me, seen me for the monster I truly was... and that was was she said to me. 'It's you and me, Stefan, always.' - But this time, I hear the raising of her tone at the end – the question lingering. Am I still in this with her? Am I willing to try again.

I might regret it – who knows – but I don't even give it a single thought. "Always." I say through a kiss, between the spaces of my lips and her lips and my tongue and her tongue. I'll ways be hers. Nothing can change the way I love her.

As we kiss, we move – from the counter to the bar. Our kisses are slow – savoring the moment, washing in our frequency.

From the bar to the hallway – Our kisses are quicker, more wanting, desperate. Stopping against the wall, my body pressing against hers with her fingers in my hair and my hands griping the back of her thighs, finally lifting her legs around me. Wrapped in her as I always long to be. I've pulled her tee shirt off, my hands and my mouth finding the soft, warm skin of her breasts when she groans my name... then, "stop."

Maybe it's like this for all men – but when I hear her tell to me stop, it's equal to cold water or an electric shock. I'm three feet away, my back against the opposite wall of the hallway in a fraction of a second – shaking from wanting her so badly and crushed from the last minute rejection.

"No, no, no, Stefan." Elena whispers through an amused smile, her lips red and swollen from our kisses, closing the distance between us and wrapping her arms around my waist. I'm stone-still, afraid to touch her. "We can't – not here." I'm confused for a moment. "Allie and Grayson." She giggles quietly against my ear, sending relief through my entire body and giving my arms the green light to hold her.

We spend a few hours talking – about nothing important. Caroline and Klaus' wedding, Allie's dance class teacher, Grayson's love of salsa... run of the mill, married couple conversations that I'd been missing for so many months without even realizing it. By dawn, we're nearly asleep – me on my back, one leg on the couch and the other bent with my foot on the floor, with Elena laying on her side between my legs. Her head is on my shoulder and I'm holding her close with my arm wrapped around her and the other holding her hand on my chest.

I can feel myself falling into a deep sleep – the kind that is rare and precious, without dreams and completely and utterly tranquil. I love the way her hair feels cool against my skin, how every time I inhale I can smell her shampoo. I can still taste her kiss and feel her heart beating against me. I'm stunned to stillness with this content happiness – like I've fallen in love with her all over again for the hundredth time.

I can't, and don't want to move a single muscle! Even my lips feel paralyzed.

Just before I fall into a state of unconsciousness, Elena nuzzles against me – her warm breath exhaling through the cotton of my shirt and I hear her sleep ridden, raspy voice say, "I love you." I want to respond. Tell her I love her. That she owns me, but as I said, I can't move... only when she rubs her nose and lips against the spot directly above my heart and says against my skin, "Even this isn't close enough to you." do I move – an involuntary, lazy smile curves onto my lips as I fall asleep holding my wife.

*****MORE TO COME*****

**Follow me at IchooseStefan on Twitter :)**

**Please, please, PLEASE comment – it's been awhile since I've posted and I don't know if anyone is even still interested in this story at all. It takes a lot of effort to make decent fanfic and I'd hate to continue if no one is following. With that said, I'll do my VERY best to post more often. Half of CH.27 is ready, so it shouldn't be too long before I do another chapter posting.**

**Thanks for reading :) **

_**PS – Stelena Always (lol)**_


	27. Chapter 27

**CHAPTER 27 – The Reaping**

-Bonnie-

I'm shushing Lola as I do that half-bounce/walk thing that usually works to calm her down, moving quickly from countertop to fridge, fridge to table, pantry and back, my left arm numb from Lola's weight and my right handling the frantic making of breakfast – It's all just autopilot at this point. I mean, to be honest, I feel like vomiting or crying or running up and down the street calling for Allie and Grayson, but my little ones are hungry and I have to settle them.

My neck is cricked over to the side, smashing my phone between my ear and my shoulder as I try Elena for atleast the twentieth time this morning and it's not even six yet! I don't know what I'm going to say should she answer… Hey, it's me, I woke up this morning and I can't find your children?

"Elena, please." My tone is less upset than I feel, but it doesn't hide my worry at all. "Just call me back." Sitting Lola in her high chair causes me to let go of my phone and it hits the floor right about the time that I hear the police sirens in the distance. In between getting something for the kids to eat, calling Elena and Stefan ump-teen times, and sending Jeremy out to search the street, I've called Caroline to have her go to Stefan's apartment and called Damon.

He's the police. He's my friend. Damon will know what to do… he always does.

"Mama" Liam smiles my name when I hand him his sippy cup, but I can't focus. I can't respond with the appropriate amount of exuberance. I just give a nervous smile back to him as my shaking hand tips the cheerios box over Lola's tray.

"NOTHING!" Jeremy shouts, coming through the back door with a fearful look in his eyes and sweat covering his face. "I ran three blocks in every direction and nothing!"

"Oh God, Jer." Both of my hands come to my face, my fingers slipping into my hair as I do everything I can not to break down. All the worst possible scenarios are racing through my head and at the end of each one is _how could I have let this happen?_

The blaring siren and screeching of tires out front pulls me from the spiraling thoughts and I head towards the door to meet Damon, picking up my phone on the way.

"You called the police?" Jeremy questions.

I stop at the door just long enough to say, "Two kids are missing! Of course I called the police!", then let the screendoor slap behind me.

"What happened?" Damon's voice is loud, frustrated, scared even, but he looks every bit the part of a police officer – in control and capable.

Something about seeing his face – the worry in his eyes – it sets me off and I start crying as I explain in a quick, choppy pace. "Liam woke up and after I changed him I went to peek in on Grayson, but he wasn't there! He wasn't in his crib and Allie wasn't in her bed and they weren't in Elena's room and I've looked everywhere Damon! I don't know what could have happened! I don't know where they could have gone!"

I want to fold into myself, or lay down in the dew-damp grass, or fold into him maybe – but Damon keeps it together, grabbing me by my upper arms and forcing me to focus and answer his questions.

"Have you talked with Stefan? Elena?"

I sniffle, "No, not since late last night… I've called them both so many times but they aren't answering."

-Stefan-

Something wakes me. I couldn't tell you what, but after a very small moment – just enough time for me to realize that the place isn't on fire and neither Allie nor Grayson are calling for Elena and I – I close my eyes and start to fall back asleep.

"What was that?" Elena mumbles a warm exhale onto my chest, rubbing her nose against my shirt as she finds a comfortable place for her head.

I make that humming sound – the one that sounds like 'I don't know' but actually has no syllables or vowels – and turn my face into her hair, leaving a kiss in the lavender-mint scented satin bunched up on my shoulder.

After a long while of my breathing and her breathing and the hum of the ceiling fan above, she asks,"Is your arm numb?"

I feel her move, her weight lifting off of my upperbody a bit, but I don't open my eyes and I lie as I shake my head no, lifting my tingling-asleep arm up to pull her back down to me. I'm not ready for her to go, for her body to be removed from mine, so I wrap both of my arms around her – she's so small that my hands squeeze the opposite sides of her waist as she lays back down. I hear a smile in her gentle 'mmm' and she finds a comfortable position, now directly ontop of me, and squeezes her arms between me and the couch cushions below us. Adding through a yawn, "I'm cold." for explanation.

I'm awake just enough to smile at the sound of her voice and to pull the throw blanket from the back of the couch onto our tangled bodies. After a couple of wiggles and kicks and tugs of the blanket, Elena seems to have maneuvered it the way she wanted it and is still again.

I think I fall back asleep – or maybe I hang in that half-conscious state for awhile because I sort of feel her short nails brush through my hair, just over my ear. And a few moments later I sort of hear her sleepy, raspy voice say my name in a whispered, sing-songy way. And I think I notice that effervescent warmness between start to change… When she starts to move again, lifting herself off of me, I feel so disappointed that she's going that it wakes me just enough to register that she's sitting on me, straddling me… and now I'm awake. Looking up at her looking down at me with a mischievous smile on her face.

I feel my brow lower and my eyes squint a bit, returning her smile as my drowsy brain sluggishly tries to figure out what she's up to – all the while, falling deeper into a welcomed intoxication by the soft glow of morning sunlight against Elena's skin.

I watch with pleasant surprise as she drags her finger tips down my torso, her eyes following her hands, pushing my shirt up to my chest. Tossing her hair over to one shoulder, Elena leans over to me, placing cool kisses on my stomach, still warm from our shared body heat. My hand finds her head and I start to sit up, guide her mouth to mine, as my lips are somehow jealous of the attention my stomach is getting – but with a wicked little giggle, Elena sits back up and shakes her head, gently pushing my chest for me to lay back down.

I'm both too tired and too intrigued to fight so I do as she instructs, laying back – my hands resting on her bare thighs.

I don't know – Maybe I'll forever be seventeen when it comes to my raging hormones and Elena – but when she crosses her arms over her body and pulls off her top in a fluid, graceful motion, I swear I lose my breath for a second. She's just so beautiful – curved and soft, smooth and firm, flawless skin that makes my fingers yearn to touch her. I'll blame the early hour and the small amount of sleep that I've had for the slow and deliberate way I'm touching her – exploring her. For the way my eyes are caught up in how her waist curves into her hips and how my hands move on their own to feel her – one slipping behind her, beneath the silky fabric of her panties, and grabbing her ass and the other slowly tracing the perilous contour of her flat stomach on a direct path to her purple laced bra.

It's nice – no, it's too great for words… I can't tell you how amazing this is - Elena is letting me touch her without her hands cautiously hovering near mine, waiting to stop me from moving somewhere she's insecure about. The way she seems to be finding just as much pleasure in my hands on her as I am and the slow ride of her body on mine. The sun is just high enough in the sky that it's dimly lighting the room and I swear to you, Elena looks like a goddess – her tan skin glowing golden and a slow, unintentional smile on her face as she enjoys my touch.

The way she leans her head back, eyes closed, biting her lip as my hands move over her, the look on her beautiful face – it's perfectly indecent. I can't explain how badly I want this woman. To taste her, bite her sweet lips, to make her breathless and trembling, and to lose ourselves in the reckless abandon that is only found when I'm deep inside of her and she's wrapped all around me to the point that it's difficult to find where I end and she begins.

Slowly, cautiously, I reach up and slip my hand around the back of her neck, pulling her down to me, but her satin panties slip against me in such a way and with such a beautiful kind of pressure that it makes me groan just as her smiling lips graze against mine – taunting me.

Really burning now, I start to kiss her, lifting a bit to reach but she grinds against me again – slipping over the length of me still captured beneath my boxers, and restricted from her body by her panties, but the pressure is intense; tightening my torso and forcing my head back – an involuntary move caused by the overwhelming feeling of pleasure and gravity and sensation and love coursing through the deepest portions of my body. Elena giggles at my reaction, leaving kisses on my neck and jaw line as she grinds again and I say something that sounds like it was supposed to be 'God' but I can't finish the word before she's pushing against me again - her teeth graze against the bottom lip of my open mouth before she sits up again. My hands taking hold of her each of her hips -Gripping her hard to stop the grinding and at the same time, considering flipping us over and taking charge of this. I want to taste her. I want to move inside of her and feel her arching beneath me. When she starts to unbuckle my belt, I look up from examining the shadowed curvature of her spread legs fitting so perfectly over me to her face – silently asking what's next.

With a subtle lick of her lips and the shaking of her hair off of her bare shoulders, I receive my answer.

"You aren't the only one with naughty thoughts, Stefan" She teases in a whisper, scooting down my legs and unbuttoning my slacks. Even a half way decent blow job is ten times as beautiful as the most perfect sunset, and Elena, well, let's just say she's quite proficient. I know I'm smiling like a fool, watching as my wife leans oh so achingly slowly over me and pulls me free of my boxers.

Opening her mouth, hesitating just centimeters from me, I feel her warm breath as she exhales and looks up at me with a wicked spark in her dark, playful eyes. I lift my head to get a better view, forcing my eyes to stay open when her course tongue licks the length of me – from base to tip - punctuating the salacious move with a soft, sucking kiss on the tip as she wraps her hand around me.

I've always found Elena's face enchanting – from the shape of her small chin to the arch of her eye brows – it's simply captivating and right now, I have to touch it. I have to have her sweet face against my overzealous fingers. Grazing lightly down the side of her face, she leans into my touch, kissing the palm of my hand before looking up at me. When our eyes meet, that magnetic frequency we share, it's warm and slow and soothing and it stops us for a long moment. Holding us right there, looking at one another – forcing us to really see each other, to realize how lucky we are to have this inexplicable and unbreakable connection.

"I love you" I say through an excited smile, my voice just loud enough for her to hear as I say these three words that I rarely speak aloud but have always felt. Literally from the moment I looked into Elena's eyes in the hallway of Mystic Falls High, it was instantaneous and endless from the very start.

Elena gives a soft giggle and I watch her shiny lips as she whispers a teasing, "you own me, Stefan", then kisses/sucks me again before tracing her tongue around the head of my cock – forcing my eyes shut when she slips me into her mouth and the hot, wet pressure is devastating to all of my self-control. I want to watch her – see the way her cheeks cave in as she pulls back on me, watch how her wet lips look slipping back down – but I can't keep my eyes open or my vision clear, it simply feels too good. I lose my battle when she wraps her hand tightly around me – the gliding motion paired with her dancing tongue is overwhelming and I give up on trying to watch, deciding to lay back as my fingers slip into her hair, resting against her gently bobbing head.

The sucking pressure, her grip, the speed, the gentle mmm's she's vibrating onto me – it's all building up, increasing, taking me closer to the edge. I wonder what I taste like in her mouth. I'm dying to between her legs and get my own taste of her. My jaw is clenched, my eyes closed with images of Elena's beautiful face and perfect body flipping through like a slideshow, I feel my chest and abdominal muscles tighten and my fist closes in Elena's hair, pushing her down – pushing myself deeper into her throat.

"OH MY GAWD!" The scream is half disgust, half laugh – but for Elena and I, hearing Caroline's voice is something like a gun shot. In a split second, Elena is completely beneath the blanket and I'm working to fasten my pants and belt. I can almost feel the heat radiating from Elena and I imagine she's fully red with humiliation and smiling that huge, beautiful way she does when she's embarrassed.

"What are you doing here!?" I try to sound really pissed off that Caroline used her key to get in, uninvited, but to be honest, I'm having a difficult time not laughing right along with her.

-Jeremy-

I drop another handful of Cheerio's on both of the kids trays, then sneak a look through the blinds to make sure Bonnie and Damon are still talking. It looks like they're calling someone, so I figure they're going to be out there atleast a few more minutes – deciding it would be safe to call Katherine.

I never would have thought she was the type to kidnap Elena and Stefan's kids, but she'd joked about it in the past and now, I don't know of anyone else who would do such a thing.

It rings four times before she picks up – the sound of her voice is so alert and clear that I can't tell if I woke her or if she's already up.

"Tell me you didn't do this, Katherine." I say in a loud whisper, my heart racing in my chest with the fear of getting caught talking to her. "Tell me you didn't commit a felony."

"Well, I probably did," Katherine gives a half-hearted laugh, "but why don't you tell me what you're talking about before I confess."

"Dammit, Katherine." I usually don't get angry with her and the whole 'bad girl' act she likes to play – to tell you the truth, its usually a huge turn on – but right now, she's screwing with my sister and has my niece and nephew and I am so angry when I respond that I'm spitting as I speak, "Where are they? They're just kids for Christ's sake!" - talking loud enough that Lola and Liam stop their babbling and look into the living room at me.

There is a long pause before she responds – such complete silence that I think she may have disconnected – asking in an obviously confused and aggravated, "What?!"

-Damon-

"What the fuck, Stefan?" That's how I answer when he calls my phone. Caroline sent Bonnie and I a text telling us that Elena and Stefan had the kids all along, but I'm still running on the fear-forced adrenaline and can't keep from being royally pissed off. "Answer your goddamn phone when people call you!" I'm pacing, ready to move, ready to find my missing niece and nephew while Stefan and Elena were sleeping through a hundred phone calls!

"Sorry… really, Damon," Stefan's voice is too light for my liking – it's not fitting for the terrifying morning that I've had, that poor Bonnie has gone through – so I hang up on him in the middle of his apology.

"He's such an asshole!" I groan, tossing my phone into the window of my squad car instead of smashing my fist through the still-closed back window.

Bonnie is still in shock from spending nearly an hour with the idea that someone had kidnapped Allie and Grayson from her home, but she tries to calm me down – reminding me that everything is okay, that it was a simple miscommunication, nothing actually happened and Allie and Grayson are safe and with their parents, "We should just try and relax – forget this ever happened."

Inhaling deeply through my nose, I nod in agreeance, then lean back against the fender of my car to take a beat – get my thoughts together. Bonnie joins me – standing mirror image of me, arms crossed and all. After a long moment, enough for me to chill out a bit, Bonnie shrugs and says, "Come to think of it, I don't think Elena actually said anything about the kids being here last night."

A frustrated laugh comes out of me before I can stop it, followed by, "I forgot how unreliable you Bennett witches can be." Bonnie mocks an insulted frown, lightly smacking my stomach, but we both laugh it off. In the easy silence that follows, I notice Jeremy through the window – on the phone – and I'm reminded of Bonnie's late night request that I start tailing Mr. Football Coach. "Speaking of unreliable, what's going on with Little Gilbert?"

Releasing a heavy sigh, Bonnie looks down at the pavement, kicking at a rock for a moment before she speaks. "I don't know… probably nothing… but maybe something." I nudge her with my elbow and when she looks over at me, I feel sorry for her – the fear in her eyes, the wrinkle between her eyebrows. I remember what it felt like to be cheated on – by Katherine, then Elena. It's like being burned alive from the inside out by what you'd thought was the antidote, but ended up being the poison.

"Probably nothing." I lie, repeating her words.

Jeremy is a dumb ass kid who doesn't know how lucky he got when he landed Bonnie. Hell, I didn't see her for the wonderful woman she is until I'd known her for a few years and I'm basically two hundred. No way some pip-squeak like Jeremy figured it out… besides, he's already proven he's a piece of shit when he fucked around on her with Anna. "But I'll check it out."

Bonnie gives me a sad smile, sliding towards me just enough that our shoulders are barely touching. "You're a good friend, Damon…"

It feels good to hear her say that. If I'm being honest with myself, it feels good to feel her shoulder grazing mine. Ignoring that thought, I shrug dramatically, raising my eyebrows with faux smugness, finally getting a laugh out of her. I wait until she's done with the giggle – because it's a great giggle and because it's become one of my favorite rewards… Bonnie's giggle – then say, "Yea, you aren't terrible either."

Another giggle.

"Too bad we couldn't have figured out that we liked each other way back when." She stands straight, slipping her hands into the back pockets of her jean shorts and turning to face me. "We would have made a great team."

"We made a fine team back then even hating each other."

She thinks it over for a moment, then looks away from me when she adds, "Yea, but who knows what might have happened if we wouldn't have been always fighting one another."

… what?

... wait…

Is this Bonnie Bennett nostalgically flirting with me?

I have a million responses – things I've thought of during my late night boring ass shifts when Bonnie and I pass the night playing cell phone games and texting – but I don't want to screw up the friendship we have by assuming that she's hinting around at something more than friends. Instead of a smooth, more flirty response, I put the ball back into her court with, "Like what?"

"Um, uh – you know, I mean," Bonnie stammers around with her words while I watch a rosy glow come to the surface of her satiny smooth skin. No matter what she says now, that bit of blushing has just confirmed my suspicion. I'm fighting back a smile when she finally comes up with, "it would have been nice to be friends, is all."

I don't skip a beat, tossing in, "We could have double dated with Stefan and Elena." A great giggle – the nervous kind that erupts out of a girl when she means to play it cool but fails. "and made out in my camero…"

"And I would have had the hottest date to all the dances." She adds, slipping her hair behind her ears.

I decide to test the waters a bit – just for curiosities sake. "Can you imagine, a Bennett Witch dating a Salvatore vampire… the spirits would have been pissed."

"Yea, well… they've been wrong before." Bonnie shrugs, not looking at me again when she says, "I think we would have been really good together."

Nodding, I stand straight and close some of the distance between us – feeling more like a bad ass than I have in years. A church bus drives by and we both watch it go – all the way to the stop sign, following it with our eyes until we can't see it any longer. It's a good thing, the bus – distracting me – by the time I turn back to Bonnie's pretty hazel eyes and sweet smile, I've got my head straight again and the initial reason for coming close like this – to see if her full lips feel as good as they look – has been forced away by the reminder that Katherine's pregnant and Bonnie is married.

Sure, I've gone after plenty of other guys girls, but I don't chase married women.

Still my eyes go directly to her shiny lips – staying there for a moment too long.

"You should probably go." Bonnie sighs, stepping back from me. The church bus obviously cleared her head too.

I nod again, pressing an exhale through tight lips but I don't know if its from not getting to follow my instincts or from feeling like an ass for having the want to kiss her at all.

I watch her go back inside from the driver's seat of my squad car, waving back when she stops at the door to smile and wave.

Putting the car in drive, it's fucking annoying that I can't shake the thought that it really is too damn bad that I was so screwed up by Katherine when I came to town… Bonnie and I really would have been great.

-Elena-

Caroline and baby Matt are joining us for breakfast and while Grayson is still asleep. Allie has been doting over Matt since she woke up and barely gave me a good morning! It's cute – how she's fawning over him – and probably even better for Caroline, Allie's giving new mommy Caroline a break. While she and Stefan cook, I'm keeping an eye on Allie and Matt and an open ear for Grayson. He's a late sleeper, but the smell of food has recently started waking him like an alarm clock.

"Scrambled for Allie?" Caroline asks me – stopping in mid-vent about her mom's work schedule. I nod once, then Caroline goes to cracking eggs again and starts back in on her mom. "I just don't get it, I mean, how many times does your _only _daughter have their _first child_?" I shrug and smile as empathetically as I can, Stefan continues to grill silently. Not to sound rude, but Stefan and I are complete orphans… so Sherriff Forbes hasn't been able to spend a whole lot of time with her and Matt – atleast she has got to meet him! Atleast Caroline has pictures of her mother holding her son… atleast Caroline's mom is alive! "So, I'm like, you can't go shopping with me? And mom's all, Caroline, I've got to get back and I'm like…" It's ridiculous, the ping of jealousy I feel, but today is a bad day for me to discuss parents in any way so I force my face to stay neutral and for my eyes to not read of the annoyance I feel, deciding to distract myself with Stefan's laptop. "…because I know Amy Stanton is a royal pain in the rear, you know – I worked with her in Dallas and, yea she a serious bi- I mean, she's ugh! But still, it's her first grandson, right?"

The screen is just coming to life when I catch Caroline repeating her question, "Right?"

"Right!" I frown, maybe too dramatically. "That's crazy."

Caroline's pause is too long and even Stefan turns and looks over his shoulder at me – an awry smile on his face, telling me my reaction to the question I wasn't paying attention to was way off.

I'm ready for Caroline to get on me about not listening to her, expecting a Caroline Forbes scolding, but Allie's voice turns our attention to her when she says, "You're so light and itsy bitsy!"

That whole mindset of all the worst possible things that could ever happen speeding through your mindseye, it's one of the very first traits that you gain when you become a parent and both Caroline and I move into action immediately! We move from the eat-in-kitchen to the east wall of the living room and are hovering around our children in a fraction of a second. Mommy speed and vampire speed are actually quite similar! Allie is barely six and other than Grayson, whom she never holds unless she's sitting in the floor, surrounded by pillows with her father or I supervising, has never held a baby… much less a newborn preemie!

Caroline is kneeling in front of Allie, her hands just under Matt's small body like a safety net, while I shadow Allie incase she falls or stumbles or we have an earthquake or the floor falls through – "Here, sweetie, let's sit down and give Matt back to his mommy." My voice is all overly smooth and calm, like I'm talking a person off of a cliff and Caroline is looking up at me and Allie with huge, worried eyes.

"Look at him, Mommy!" Allie says in a quiet squeal, "He's smiling!" Smiling – a newborn? He's barely a week old and born more than three months early… but sure enough, when I peer over Allie's knotted bed head into the small crook of her arm where Matt's fuzzy blond head is resting, looking right up at my daughter are Klaus-blue eyes and a perfect Caroline-shaped grin. "He likes the sunlight, Aunt Caroline!"

I'm stunned into a very happy version of shock, calculating how long it took for Allie's eyes to turn green – three or four months atleast! - and when it was that she and Grayson gave their first real smiles – maybe 6 weeks? - while Caroline gently wiggles Matt out of Allie's wiry little arms. "That's amazing!" I run the back my fingers down Matt's chubby little cheek, still grinning mind you, and his light blue eyes look directly into mine.

"I know, right! I was totally worried that he was going to have brown eyes forever," Caroline coos at her son, then smiles at me apologetically. "I mean, no offense or anything," Grayson and I have dark brown eyes, but I know what she means and am not insulted at all – still in awe of Matt. "But just like those books said, his eyes changed and I'm like crazy excited that their blue like his daddy's." Stefan and I share a quick look from across the room, silently agreeing that it's odd… maybe even weird, that Matt is already making eye contact, smiling, and his eyes are so crystal clear blue, while Caroline is laying out a blanket for him on the floor in the sunlight. "Klaus is going to be so excited when he gets back this weekend!"

"Right." Stefan seems to stiffen, even his stance is awkward in some way as he does a decent impersonation of someone acting nonchalant – leaning onto his elbows on the counter-bar, closing the laptop screen, then moving he spatula from one hand to the other a few times when he asks, "he mentioned he'd be in town in a few days."

"Friday." Caroline stretches out the syllables, responding to Stefan but talking to little Matt who is laying on the floor and gazing up at her, on her knees beside him with Allie close by. "Daddy's going to be so excited to see you, Matty." She coos, gently grazing her fingertips over his tummy. "Daddy was hoping you'd look just like him and you do don't you? You sure do!" I'm about to mention that his smile is the spitting image of Caroline's – less the perfect white teeth – but the sweet, gurgly giggle that comes out of the 6 pound new born premie stops me.

I look at Stefan again – No way. I know for sure that Allie and Grayson didn't laugh for months. He shrugs, giving me that champion smile of his and I'm disappointed all over again that Caroline put a stop to what was sure to be an epic resuscitation of the sex life Stefan and I have been missing since Grayson was born. Ugh.

"Did you guys find a place in Roanoke?" Stefan asks, now back to cooking – his back to us. His perfectly shaped, sexy, muscular back. Ugh.

"Yea we did…" Caroline backs up a little, letting Allie get in near Matt again, but staying close enough to jump in just in case. "I've actually got to get going pretty quickly – meeting with the realtor from there at nine to get everything lined out." I don't know what my face looks like, but internally I'm kind of thrilled… I'd like to get back to making up and making out with Stefan – Caroline misreads me, quickly adding. "Roanoke isn't that far, Elena… we'll totally be able to hang out on weekends and vaca together! It's going to be really great, I promise! Just like we'd always planned."

I smile – reaching over and squeezing her hand. Caroline has changed so much, but really, deep down, she's still the Caroline I grew up with. She's still my best friend and I love her like crazy! "Yea, totally great, Ker."

"You know, Elena," Stefan says over his shoulder, dishing out the eggs and turkey sausage onto the plates, "You and Caroline should go out for lunch today – after her realtor appointment and your visit to see your parents. I'll keep Allie and Grayson."

Ugh. Stefan.

I mean, that's really sweet, but I'd really rather be here. With him. With Allie and Grayson. I've missed spending Sunday's doing nothing with my family.

"Yes! Oh my gosh, Elena!" Caroline smiles wide – Matt giggles again – and I'm reminded of Caroline's rant about not having her mom around and Klaus is in Texas and I suddenly feel like a crappy friend for initially not wanting to go to lunch with her. She's lonely. "I've got to show you my wedding and bachelorette party plans!"

-Katherine-

Ok. So Jeremy isn't bad looking, and I guess he's not all that bad in bed, but

He's late meeting me

He's wearing cheap gym shorts and old Mystic Falls High t-shirt

I'm in a pissy mood

So when he immediately leans in and tries to kiss me and puts his big, clompy hands on my hips, I can't help that my immediate reaction is to lean away, push him back, and knee him in the balls.

"Jesus!" Jeremy's doubled over, groaning and moaning like a baby and I'm once again reminded why we meet in secret. Im Katherine Pierce – no way I'm going to be seen with such a little wimp. "What in the hell, Katherine?!"

"Self-defense is a natural reaction for me, Jer." I smirk, getting a good look at his red and now sweaty face. Thank god I don't have testicles… they're literally the weak link on the male body. " Oh come on, stop being dramatic."

"You kicked me in the-"

"I know what I did, Jeremy! I did it. But you called me over here because people think I've kidnapped Stefan's little monsters," truth be told, they're cute kids… but I have a reputation to hold. "I think we have bigger fish to fry than you trying to get an apology out of me."

A few more exaggerated whimpers and moans before he's standing upright again, then Jeremy gives me the full explanation and I'm sorry… what an idiot Bonnie is! Dumb bitch. HA!

"So yea, it was a false alarm."

"Then why didn't you cancel this big emergency rendezvous at the high school? I could have spent my morning doing something else, you know?" It's like the kid can't read body language, or even hear my GTFO tone of voice – as I'm basically telling him that I do not want to be here with him, he's trying to be all GQ and slick and put his Baby Gilbert moves on me. Another Idiot.

"I dunno, Kat," he pushes my hair back from my face and leans over, kissing the sensitive skin by my eye, then my cheek, then whispering against my ear, "I guess I just wanted to see you. I missed you."

He missed me? Oh Gawd. "Hmm." I think any sane person could actually hear my eyes rolling just by the attitude that hmm carried. But Jeremy is as dense as his useless wife.

"You know, I can't stop thinking about you." A couple more kisses on my face and neck and I am for real wishing I was vampire so I could break his thick neck. "I think I might even be falling in love with you."

…

Ok. Now. This I can use.

I give a shaky breath, a heavy sigh, touching his arms and then his chest, leaning into him and using my best damsel in distress voice when I say, "Jeremy… we can't. I mean…" Fake sniffle, "he'll kill you. He'll never let me be with you, or anyone else. He wants to keep me for himself, no matter what!"

"Katherine, you don't have to be scared of him." Ugh, puke! Jeremy pulls me into a big bear hug and good lord he smells like that cheap body spray and Right Guard. "I can handle Damon."

Ha. Such an idiot… falling right into place.

"Not Damon, Jer." I back away and do that doe-eyed bullshit look that Elena gives the Salvatore boys when she's in desperate need of rescuing. "It's Stefan…"

**MORE TO COME!**

**Hope you're enjoying The Reaping **

**Follow me on Twitter at IChooseStefan for updates and commentary!**

**I love (CRAZY LOVE) to read your thoughts and reviews so please feel free to comment here and/or tweet me. Next chapter we'll be getting into the DNA testing, moving back into the Gilbert home, seeing some old friends, and there may even be a little trouble brewing up!  
With the summer hiatus, I'll be doing my very best to give you guys an update once a week to help with the TVD withdraws and the Stelena heartbreak we all suffered during the finale. Keep hope alive, Stelena's… it's season 4 of 6 seasons - Elamon is the arc, not the storyline.**

**Long-game, it's Stelena!**


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